Lady Bird

I'm smart enough to know that 100% on Rotten Tomatoes doesn't guarantee a perfect movie, but I fully expected to at the very least enjoy myself watching it tonight.

I hated this movie. I actually hated this movie. If I hadn't been with friends, I would have walked out after ~40 minutes. I'm sort of glad I had to stick around though, because at least now I'm certain that no, the movie doesn't get any better by the end. I was bored, I was angry, I was confused, and I was genuinely trying to find what exactly people like so much about it. I have no answer to that question. Am I taking crazy pills? Why is this being rated so highly? Why did four of my friends like it while only one friend hated it as much as me? What am I not seeing?
WHAT IS THIS FUCKING MOVIE ABOUT? Is it about growing up? Then why does the main character literally not change at all until the very final few minutes? Is it about Catholicism or religion? Then why could nearly every location and character relating to religion be completely swapped out with a secular counterpart without losing any sort of message? Is it a love letter to Sacramento? Then why does almost the entirety of the movie take place in standard looking interiors and roads, until the very last scene where they flash images of Sacramento landmarks that never appeared in the film to trick you into thinking Sacramento played any role in the movie at all?

>entire thing is one long, drawling, never-ending act
>completely unlikable main character that I felt no attachment to, and not in any sort of interesting way. She's just annoying and has barely any character
>no sort of goal is set up at any point in the movie. Things just aimlessly happen. Having a movie that isn't plot-driven can be a perfectly fine decision, but the photography is flat, the acting is inconsistent, the characters are uninteresting, the dialogue ranges from shaky to downright infuriating with a couple clever jokes thrown in. So what, then, AM I supposed to be enjoying about the movie?
>pointless scenes existed just for the sake of some incredibly forced "deep" "quirky" dialogue line at the end
>constant awkward exposition in dialogue, sometimes explaining things the audience doesn't need to hear at all
>MC's relationship with her mom was terrible. It seems like they wanted some Gilmore Girl-esque mother-daughter banter, but then remembered that they're supposed to have a strained relationship, so every scene ricochets between the two tones as you watch both characters just be horrible human beings to each other. You can claim that's just how they're relationship is, but you can't expect the audience to go along with the emotional changes at such a rapid-fire pace without eventually tuning out.
>you know exactly how every new element and scene is going to end up (except for when the movie just awkwardly ends a scene early or completely forgets about a loose end)
>the film just completely forgets about the fat priest and nothing ever comes of his subplot
>the film throws 9/11 in your face to trick you into thinking it has anything to say about 9/11
>the film throws Sacramento in your face to trick you into thinking it has anything to say about Sacramento
>the film throws Catholicism in your face to trick you into thinking it has anything to say about Catholicism

So there's no plot? It's just another dyed hair, rebellious, quirky, teenage coming of age indie shitfest? I should've been tipped off upon finding that the title was the main characters name.

At the end of the day, I just think you need to be more of an intellectual to really enjoy this movie. If you don't have a certain level of intelligence, you won't "get" Lady Bird. It's an acquired taste.

Hey user here's a fun thought experiment:
The movie clumsily establishes in the first scene that her name is Christina but she wants to be called Lady Bird because she doesn't want to use a name her parents chose for her
Can you guess what happens at the end of the movie when she Comes Of Age?

Does she decide to keep the name Christina?

Copypasta faggot

It was a good film that people liked - DMY GUY

She kills her family and exploding dropkicks a dog

YOU DID IT, user! BRAVO!

>it's puhdictible

YES GOY ABANDON CHRISTIANITY HERE'S ANOTHER MOVIE PROPAGANDIZING AGAINST IT

Why don't we get 20 anti-Jewish films every year?

Credits roll?

>i'm supposed to enjoy a movie in which i could predict how every single plot element and scene would end up, with the exception of the plot elements they just completely forget to get back to

It's not anti-christianity, though. The movie ends with her going to church and calling her parents to tell them she loves them

...

Can I have a tl;dr and what's good about this movie? I hate being meme'd into a shitty flick

I liked this more than Die Hard

Nice repeated thread
SHILL

...

FUCKING RAD

I knew it'd be a piece of shit when my twitter feed was full on shill mode

I genuinely don't know. I can imagine finding some aspects charming if I didn't know so much about how novice high school and college girls write, but I picked up on every single trope and emulation of that tone (snarky sarcasm and pop culture references, sudden emotional flip-flops mid-scene, quirky awkward nothings, matter-of-fact oh-how-quaint moments) and could see just how unoriginal it was.

what did expect of a coming-off-age movie?

This was unironically my favorite movie this year.

is there a leak yet?

A character that isn't an irredeemable dick for most of the movie would be nice. Or maybe actually watching her come of age instead of just suddenly flipping an "I'm an adult now" switch five minutes before the movie ends.

Watch that Brazilian movie The Way He Looks for a genuinely cute and well-crafted coming-of-age movie

YOU MUST STOP POSTING THIS GIRL WITH HAIR EXPOSED FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE OR THE VENGEANCE OF ALLAH SHALL BE SWIFT AND FIERCE

TAKBIR

Also, the lead actress was way too pretty and thin for the role. At the beginning of the movie her friend and her are admiring a popular girl and calling her beautiful, yet Lady Bird is leagues ahead of her. Later when Lady Bird becomes friends with the popular girl, she starts trying to lose weight, except she's way more thin than the popular girl already.

CAN'T SMERSH THE SERSH

Nice trips. Thin is the only way to go

The other chick is way hotter. She was in the Goosebumps movie with Jack Black and is the only reason I watched it.

How can you possibly find anything interesting at all about the way this woman looks?
More actual qts for me, I suppose

Beans Feldstein is too cute for a fat chick

Would wife

>its a fa/tv/irgin has ridiculous standards episode
at the very least you can admit she has pretty eyes and nice lips

I'm from Sacramento and apparently everyone is telling me I need to see this movie because it's a "love letter to Sacramento" - I have literally heard that exact phrase 10 times from different people.

why would someone make a love letter to Sacramento of all places. Also my cousin graduated from the all-girls catholic school this story is based on and apparently the girls lezzed out all the time according to her

There's no talking to these poor taste faggots

Bean, Sersha, Odesha, all good friends

is this playing in baltimore?

>apparently the girls lezzed out all the time

Fuck, go and contact your cousin and come back with more detailed and very lewd if possible stories

>Is it a love letter to Sacramento? Then why does almost the entirety of the movie take place in standard looking interiors and roads, until the very last scene where they flash images of Sacramento landmarks that never appeared in the film to trick you into thinking Sacramento played any role in the movie at all?

Those are literally the worst parts of her face