Rewrite SU, but with historically accurate technicalities

WW2 didn't happen, religion in general is non-existent, and earth is fucked up and filled with alien technologies.

>WW2 didn't happen
>religion in general is non-existent
>earth is fucked up and filled with alien technologies
This is literally a child's view of the world

I never looked at it like that, now that is interesting.

Regardless, how would you rewrite SU?

Not him but i was about to post about how humans would treat alien tech (That doesnt work on humans) like history pieces of some unknown culture, treating them with an air of mystery, like Atlantis, but with a lot more of actual evidence and space to draw conclusions

Thing is SU's world without religion would be so radically diferent in so many ways that it doesnt matter, not to mention WW2, shit, without religion there would be no WW2, at least not like we know it, the world would be so fucking diferent that the story the show wants to tell wouldn't be posible, so they just handwave everything and pretend none of that shit was important to get to where we are

But the biggest problem has to be that humans don't even act like humans, which is terrible, if the show was about a little boy's life with magical powers then it would be fine, but they want to have an intergalactic war or something, and he has to prove to this alien race that humanity is worth something to them, that his world and humanity is worth saving

But that's not humanity, its the childfriendly version of humanity, were everyone is a selfish dumb coward that needs to be guided by the alien hybrid thats better than them in every way

saitama is a fag

I'm not trying to be clever. The childishness of the scenario isn't a metaphor for how children perceive the world around them, it's a literal infantilization of culture which presumes that everyone would get along if it weren't for Nazis and Christians.

In order for World War II to not happen, you have to negate World War I and its aftermath including the dissolution of the German empire and the punitive terms of the Treaty of Versailles; which, itself, was predicated on immediate causes stretching back more than thirty years and indirect causes stretching back a millennia.

The myopic view of religion as an exclusively Abrahamic vocation (although God forbid we should include Muslims when we're ragging on Christians and Jews for their backwards sky-father worship...) completely ignores that organized religion predates Judaism by some eight thousand years in the historical record and potentially up to ninety-five thousand years based on archaeological examinations of early human funerary rites; and treats the whole cultural phenomenon of shared belief and ritualized observance of tradition as a pastime for the ignorant and uneducated, rather than a unifying element of human civilization.

I can't really pick apart the alien technology, though. Gems left a lot of their trash behind when they fucked off back into space.

Better.

Could be possible considering Earth had a gigantic war 5000 years ago with many humans fighting as well. That's so recent in Earth history for it to have an impact on the timeline.

Really says a lot about Becky don't it?

I think the point is that the show takes the good parts of humanity and projects it onto Beach City, then all the bad parts of humanity and projects it onto the Gempire.

So the show doesn't have to have an episode where somebody calls Garnet a nigger or faggot, you can have an episode where Peridot calls Garnet a war machine. People are able to remove themselves from the metaphors enough that they can still empathize with Peridot, while still understanding the underlying implications.

I think it's astounding Sugar and the crew think humans wouldn't worship the Gems. Of course they fucking would. They would no matter how many times the Gems told them not to.

>were everyone is a selfish dumb coward that needs to be guided by the alien hybrid thats better than them in every way
Sounds like the new testament.

Not really. The obvious takeaway is that she's a secular Jew Millennial and her worldbuilding is about as deep as a puddle of rain.

And I say that as somebody that unironically watches and enjoys Steven Universe.

...

>I think the point is that the show takes the good parts of humanity and projects it onto Beach City, then all the bad parts of humanity and projects it onto the Gempire.

Why do you think that's a good thing?

What are you trying to say?

Yeah, well, Stephen and the Gems don't seem in a hurry to die for anyone's sins.

Humans have been around for 40,000 years and have only had tools for less than 6000, civilization for 5000. The written word wasn't even around 4000 years ago. I think the gems being on Earth since before the dawn of humanity monumentally fucks this over and would totally ruin our entire civilization as we know it. So here's how to fix that.
>The gems come to Earth and see it inhabited
>They think humans are gross, stupid beings and want to eradicate us so that they have free reign of a purified world
>Rose sees humans using tools and building relationships, even spots the first house being built, only for it to be destroyed by a Jasper
>Cue the war, Crystal Gems vs the Gempire
>CG try to save humans at every turn while battling back the Gempire
>Rose kills Pink Diamond as a show of determination
>Gempire says fuck it and decides to shrek the whole world
>They leave and pull an asteroid off course, hurling it into the ocean
>Cue the great flood that the gems save humanity from and gets written about in every religious text thereafter
>They expend their power in saving humanity and go dormant for thousands of years, only to wake up in the 17th century and see bustling cities
At that point, it's noted that human history has continued exactly as it already has and the gems had no effect on it.
>The gems try to heal the world of war after seeing what it caused thousands of years ago
>In doing so, they end up sending out a beacon to the universe that gems are active on Earth
>The Gempire doesn't like this and sends out ships
The gems know this and decide to start recruiting humans in secret and training them for the inevitable war
>Hundreds of years pass, bringing us to the present day
>Steven, the only hybrid of his kind, isn't a fat little bitch and is perfectly aware that the day when he'll have to fight for the fate of his planet alongside humans and gems will come

Remember Bismuth and Gem Harvest? Both double length episodes featuring contreversial new characters, who faced some degree of backlash because they in many ways hit closer to home for the target audience than other characters (being an extremist revolutionary and a bitter old conservative respectively) and the solutions to their issues even harder (anger doesn't justify violence, love everyone, even conservative white dudes).

Imagine that, but with topics that people outside of Tumblr get fired up about. Religion. Slavery. Racism. Rape. Capitalism. These are topics the show has covered in ways that a lot of people, like, say, CN, or, say, Sup Forums, wouldn't like, causing them to not fund/watch the show.

The gems are a smokescreen for difficult topics because the gems replace the buzzwords of Current Year with softer, easier buzzwords that both uptight SJWs and autistic Alt-righties can more easily accept.

Basically modern people on all sides of the political spectrum are retarded and get triggered by the slightest words. The gem empire replaces these words but keeps the basic concepts.

I have no doubt that if the show were actually about a boy fighting aliens with his sister mom protectors we'd see better worldbuilding from someone on the crewniverse, but as is it's obvious that the show intentionally doesn't step on those wires.

>The written word wasn't even around 4000 years ago
Cuneiform, widely held to be one of the first forms of written language, first emerged in the 4th millennium BC - which means it was SIX thousand years ago.

So, maybe double check your math because you're wrong on pretty much every single one of your numbers.

My bad, I mixed up the first story ever written with the first thing ever written. Excuse the error.
You don't have to be a dick about it though.

>You don't have to be a dick about it though.
Where do you think we are?

>le epic snake pit of nastiness no safe spaces here we're all mean all the time >:)

>being an edgy cunt about other people being edgy cunts

Sup Forums, so basically tumblr.

We have Ronaldo. Conspiracy theories and religion are almost the same

Tumblr is way more mean than Sup Forums.

R.I.P. Siberia. Also no west Africa so no slavery.

I really wish SU's alternate history was somewhat coherent

No religion and Earth assraped by an alien war, yet culture seems to be mostly the same, with the exception of no holidays

No WW2, but possibly a WW1. Ronaldo mentions more wars, with imagery that seemingly implies that there have been wars in the modern era (a tank shooting down a jet fighter)

Use of the term "nuclear family" and Steven's reaction to it implies that nuclear weapons are around

Ian JQ said at one point that the borders of the US would be "different," but that he "wouldn't spoil it"

Presumably we will get at least some of this addressed in the future

Or it will all be left unaddressed and there will have been absolutely no point

I bet the latter

i see a lot of people complaining about the world biulding in SU and how most of humanity doesnt make sense because of how they treat the gems...and yeah its kind of true.Its weird how the CGS saved humanity and after the corruption bomb they both stopped interacting.
But like,buddys book confirms some asshole actually investigated all the gem stuff in earth and got so popular with his books he got a fucking library.But then people dont know how gems work and think they are like stevens parents and are never given the respect they deserve for saving humanity
To answer i would make the world know about the CGS and adore them like fucking legendary saviors.They teach in school that aliens exist and they could come any second now.The governemt could have contacted rose to investigate technology and when things got shady rose stopped working with them.
I still dont think the inconsistent world in SU is that bad since the show is more about these characters than how humanity functions (honestly it seems like they did it like this to do whatever the fuck the plot needs to do) but whenever you try to defend the lore of the show,shit like this gets in the way

>religion in general is non-existen
Wait is that canon? What'd we ever do to Sugar?

Like i said, why do you think that's a good thing? The end result is that humanity area bunch of moderate jerks that are too dumb to live and gems that are literal monsters with advance technology but somehow also too dumb to live

Im not saying they should show rape either what im saying is that it's way too simplistic for the sake of the plot, which i guess by itself being simple is not that bad, but not if it's one of the ideas that the show is centered on, you can't say "Humanity is great!" and handwave anything that's not convenient (Unless its some kind of parody)

And even when they handle complicaded topics they do so in a simplistic kind of way where one side has to be absolutely right and the other absolutely wrong, the questions might be complicaded but not the answers, the show never wants to get its hands dirty, which is understendable, but then, why are you playing in the mud anyway? But that could change eventually

What im trying to say here that from a thematic and story perspective what you said doesn't work, but yeah, i understand that's what they're trying to do

Without Japan having the warrior spirit nuked out of it, anime would be a very different medium, and the nature of its fans like Ronaldo would probably not be comparable to the typical weeb in our world.

>WWII didn't happen
What does that even mean in this case? Did Hitler annex half of Europe with no resistance?

Read >91071873 again. WWII wasn't caused by one man. The decades before would have to be completely different in both Europe and Asia. Mr. Adolf would have had a quiet life as a painter in Austria.

We should have had at least one episode about a Gem-worshiping cult by now, honestly.

>Rewrite SU
A legit gem war
People on beach city pissed about the problem and want to throw the gems under the bus
Enitre lore of warrior gems not "muh feels" garbage.
Reserve the feels for impact moments

>religion in general is non-existant

MUH DIAMONDS