You can’t come up with a better excuse

You can’t come up with a better excuse

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that's pretty clever desu

...

Nani?! Tondemonai!

damn niggas. I mean what are you supposed to do in that situation? IMO I would try to bargain my way out, offer money, cleaning services, sexual favors, etc and if that didn't work i would say:
"Okay Hansen, I know what I did was wrong, I've learned my lesson. Tell you what, I promise to never do this again and you let me walk away. It's like we never met, I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am, we both go back to our regular boring old lives. You walk away happy, I walk away happy, we all walk away happy."

The only way out is to pretend to be retarded as soon as you see Hansen walk in. Respond to every question with a non-sequitur:
Hansen: So did you request sex with a 13-year old girl?
You: No, sir. I am not an atheist, I'm a proud Protestant.
Hansen: Please answer the question.
You: Did you know Hitler took drugs before making his speeches?
Hansen: We know you texted a 13-year old requesting for sex. What can you say for yourself?
You: Nails grow at the same rate as tectonic plates shift.
And so on and so forth. You know you are being filmed anyways, so later on when they show the video you can present that as evidence and plead insanity. It's a long-shot but it's worth a try.

"I'm dyslexic - I thought she said she was 90!"

I wouldn't say a single work because I would be very stressed out and fear that I might say something bad. I would leave then get arrested no doubt, and then ask for my attorney before they started interviewing me. Then I would ask for his advice, and then maybe get off clean like that beach dude.

>Take a seat

Why have you seriously thought of what you'ld say in this situation?

because that's what this thread is about

also i'd like to add that by not saying anything and leaving immediately, you're less likely to actually end up on the show, and if you do end up on the show there won't be much air time and focus.

This is the most logical solution, I never understood why these idiots sign away their right to remain silent AND the release forms to be featured on a TV show

>take a seat
>sorry, wrong house, I was heading to the beach
> trip on the exit stairs
LIKE A GLOOOOOVE

Just run up to Chris excitedly and shake him warmly by the hand, exclaim how glad you are to finally meet him and go on to explain how you've been trawling internet forums for paedophile honeypots in the hopes that you'll find the one established by 'To Catch a Predator'. Tell him how this is the third house you've tried over the past few months of searching for adults pretending to be children and how it has been a life long dream to meet Hansen. Finish by saying how you are sorry for stringing the production team along in your ruse of being a predator, but it was necessary in order to meet your hero.

>"Okay Hansen, I know what I did was wrong, I've learned my lesson. Tell you what, I promise to never do this again and you let me walk away. It's like we never met, I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am, we both go back to our regular boring old lives. You walk away happy, I walk away happy, we all walk away happy."
A lot of predators tried this approach. They were still tackled by cops upon exiting the house.

>not taking a gun with you so if this happens you kill Hansen and yourself on the spot
It's that easy lads

Doesn't explain away the chat logs where you awkwardly make jokes about ice cream and condoms.

There is no workable excuse because they don't invite contestants to the house until they've committed a crime. They''re just making the contestants think they can get out if it by not informing them of their rights (because they don't have to) in hopes they'll implicate themselves further and create some quality schadenfreude television. Which is the reason Miranda rights exist in the first place.

If the contestants were intelligent, they'd simply calmly walk out of the house the second hansen showed up and get arrested. But PJ and hansen specifically target desperate idiots.

>So you committed a crime that comes with a guaranteed sentence of several years in jail and a place on the sex offender registry to meet me. That's nice. I guess we're done here.
>police arrest you

Im surprised this hasn't happened desu

they run background checks and don't invite registered gun owners or people with concealed carry permits.

What crime though? Talking to an adult who's pretending to be a minor online? Why wouldn't I have been aware it was a honeypot?

It doesn't matter why you commit a crime.

>people who break the law wouldnt break another law

>You walk away happy, I walk away happy, we all walk away happy
>Upon listening these words Hansen stands up and in his eyes you see an even more demeaning look, he no longer tries to be expressionless; in his face you can see the how repulsed he is by your degeneracy. As he opens his mouth you flinch, you feel unsafe against his vengeful manifesto against your "kind":
"If I let you go, you will be doing this again and if you don't, even if you manage to hold your disgusting sexual instincts to yourself, I will not be happy. I have dedicated my life to locking up subhumans like you in the prison and I am still am not happy. Seeing you behind the bars will only momentarily satisfy my thirst for justice, but even that fleeting satisfaction is enough to keep me going. I will not be happy knowing you are out there, I will not rest until all of you are neutralized, one way or another. But you understand me right? I mean, we are the same in a sense..."
>He starts approaching you slowly around the table, you panic and don't know how to react. You stand up and start walking backwards to reach the door, slowly, following his pace. You could run and feel like you should run, but you can't take your eyes off him. You try to absorb every word of his, even if his ultimately belittling you and threatening you
>"... we are both predators. Your victims are innocent young girls. I, on the other hand, prey upon you. You are my food. You serve as a mere prey of mine. Now run..."
As if hypnotized, upon listening to the word run, you start running out of the door you had already opened, but couldn't exit before. You just run and run and don't know where you are going but you obey the guy who outwit you and you run. Suddenly you feel out of breath, you can't breathe and you are down. An officer is handcuffing you while your face is full of grass and you are watching a suited elegant figure walk away, not even looking at you. You are done. He is done with you

How kino would it have been if a pedo shotgunned him square in the face?

Never would've happened because the show was scripted but eh a man can dream.

The best course of action is to simply leave without saying anything and when the police nab you to tell them you want an attorney. There is literally nothing you could say to Hansen which would exonerate you in a court of law.

>I have accelerated aging I'm actually 13!

how about you don't say a fucking word and call your lawyer you stupid nigger?

>be pizza delivery dude
>show up at wrong address
>wrong address is the TCAP house
>Chris Hansen comes out

what do?

What crime?

'did you order this pizza? no? alright sorry good day sir'

>show was scripted

who the fuck would be willing to ruin their lives like that

So if I'm trynna smash a 13yo honey I should get my conceal carry card? Talk about two birds with one stone.

Online solicitation of a minor.

PJ and other groups will still try to catfish you, you just lock yourself out of hansen.

They're very clear that it's an adult actor playing a minor for the purpose of the show. It would be disgustingly unethical to subject an actual child to paedophiles.

21 would make it funnier, what a pussy

Considering my life would be over I might as well add murder to my rap sheet.
I'd try to maim or kill Hanson

Don't you need to sign a release for TV to exploit your image or does that go out the window if you're a perv? How did the show get away with recording their faces?

That has no relevance to online solicitation of a minor and similar statutes.

Why does this need to be answered every thread?

They get around that by inviting you onto private property where they have ownership rights.

Fuck Hansen. He likes to paint himself as some righteous moral guardian but this fucker is a megalomaniac that likes to play God with people's lives. He only cares about ratings and not bringing people to justice. He's most likely a pedophile himself

That's not true at all. There have been multiple instances of gun owners showing up to the house. If they're suspected to be carrying they will have the decoy do a light search and have cops at the ready inside the house.

>hansen walks out
>predator starts laughing
>look i know you think you're a big guy bu-
>FOR YOU
>*unsheathes suicide vest and levels whole block*

Good one, OP.

Now what would you say in this situation?

>I can't be here to have sex with a young boy because I'm not gay or anythin'

>t. pedo

>*takes two seats*

>walk in
>Hansen emerges from the shadows
>take a seat
>grab a chair and book it outside giggling

Two words. Roleplaying chat!
Check and mate

the only predator funnier than gay romano is that guy who's cute, built good.

like 70% of the show is exactly this, lol.

Surprised this hasn't happened before.
Haven't they found tape, rope, and shit in their cars before?

And they still got arrested

do you guys have the most backwards laws in the world?

GIVE US THE EPISODE ALREADY HANSEN YOU FUCK

There is no excuse you can come up with to possibly get away. As soon as you show up to the property, they've got enough to arrest you right there on the spot and take you to jail for at least a night.

Your best bet is to stfu and get a good lawyer.

If you could stop thinking with your feelings you'd understand that the original user specifically stated he understood he wasn't talking to a minor.
So I'll ask again, what crime?

I'd just say haha nigga I knew this was the show I wanted to be a star whatchu think I'm a pedo naah

Joshua "Papi" Colon was top-tier.
youtube.com/watch?v=jeKBL9yOdjc

Fuck that's so creepy

"Come on. I knew this was you guys. I'm a big fan and wanted to meet the man himself! Put it there, buddy!!
Hey, tell me somethin'. What it was like cheating on your wife? Was it super hot? Did you ever do it while your wife was in the house? Is that fake-teen policewoman single? She's pretty cute when it's all said and done. You think I'd have a shot?"

Online solicitation of a minor.

If you could stop being an idiot you'd read the statute and understand it doesn't matter what you say after committing it.

But you're not talking to a minor, dumbass.

The "enter private property = forfeit rights to your likeness" thing is because of precedents set by security footage. Online solicitation of a minor statutes were written by emotional people, so yea, they're idiotic.

I'd do: youtube.com/watch?v=LxcOaOTLuIg

>admits he buttfucked a 15 year old in exchange for chicken noodles
oh lordy

>tells somebody he will kill him online
>shows up in his house with a knife (condom)
>gets arrested
wooooow dude no victims wtf let me go

I'll ask you again to stop thinking with your feelings.
Sure is reddit in here.

>he still hasn't read the statute

I'm not sure what type of person you think you're talking to. The law is idiotic, but its clearly written. You indicate in the chatlog that you think who you're asking for sex is a minor, you go to jail.

Your counter-argument to this basically amounts to trying to say "i knew I was buying fake coke from the police" after getting caught in a buy-bust.

I know you're not dumb enough to think that's an equal comparison

I wasn't even that user. Either way you'll hang soon.

That was a different fag who thinks going to the house is a crime.

this makes sense, thank you user

>You indicate in the chatlog that you think who you're asking for sex is a minor, you go to jail.
But what if I don't indicate that I'm talking to a minor?

>muh different user
Well then uphold an argument instead of talking about your fee-fees.

Going into a house with an intent to commit a crime is illegal.

>goes into a sting house to steal
>WOW DUDE THERE'S NO MONEY HERE LET ME GO WTF

that would be B&E

Door was open, no breaking.

The decoys always state the age they're pretending to be, clearly and repeatedly.

I'm really not sure why you think this is a feeling based, rather than fact based position. Do you think you're trolling?

That's a different crime altogether. My point was that he had an intent.

It's the same as
>WOW DUDE THERE'S NO KIDS IN HERE LET ME GO

unlawful entry then. The crime in that instance isn't "intent to steal money." Going to the house isn't the crime in hansen situations either.

Why do we have to go over this every thread too?

see A different situation was described and it is irrelevant to hansen situations. As people aren't invited to the sting house until after they've already committed a crime.

>Do you think you're trolling?
It's so pathetic with how reddit it is in here. As soon as pretend-kids are involved everyone talks and acts like a soccer-mom.
No I don't think I'm trolling, I'm simply entertaining this strategy that was presented here - but middle-aged women come out of the woodwork to get their panties in a twist.

>Going to the house isn't the crime in hansen situations either.
Yes it is. He states that he wants to fuck a child and he comes into a house expecting a child to fuck.

If a guy says online that he wants to kill a person and shows up the next day with a knife trying to kill a person, it doesn't matter if the person in question ends up being a dummy.

For the love of god negro, I'm telling you specifically how the statute is written, and how your so-fuhnay response would just make for a slightly more entertaining bit of television before you're arrested for online solicitation of a minor, as people aren't invited to the house until after they've committed a crime.

You don't have to agree with something to understand it.

Break down into tears and tell them in graphic details how my father repeatedly sexually abused me from the age of 6 until he died of alcoholism 4 years later.

Story needs work and you’d have to be a good actor to pull it off

No nigger, the whole thing rests on the ability to prove intent.
But if the guy states he knew it was a ruse all along, how are you going to prove his intent?

>He states that he wants to fuck a child
Correction, he asks a minor for sex, which is the crime
>and he comes into a house
Not the crime, no matter what he was expecting to find there, and hansen only does it to get them on camera and embarrass them. PJ and other groups do it to make arrests easier, but they don't need to, as even hansen has had people arrested and sent to jail despite the fact they were never in the same state as the decoy.

Intent is proven by the chatlog, trying to say something different later is irrelevant, you're under arrest.

>damn, that's sad dude
>hansen gives the signal and the cops tackle you