ITT: We're all students at Hogwarts

ITT: We're all students at Hogwarts

QUICK

SORT THEM INTO HOGWARTS HOUSES. REMEMBER - ONLY ONE HUNK PER HOUSE.

Wow, this place is really dull.

I spiked a qts drink with a love potion

Location: Boys room.
We make a polyjuice potion using the hair of an attractive female. All 17 of us strip naked. Somebody pour the polyjuice potion in one cup. That same person pours faux-polyjuice potion (tastes the same but does nothing) into 16 more cups.
Everybody takes a cup and sit in a circle. Everyone drinks it. People take turns on whatever guy loses his dick.
Tell me this wouldn't happen

dae drumpf is like voldemort?

why wouldn't you just fuck some girls with magic tho

do they teach Film Studies at Hogwarts?

All Gryffindor, that's the point.

uh, h-hi Ginny...would you maybe wanna hang out in Hogsmeade after Quidditch practice?

yeah, it's called Introduction to Moving Pictures

Can someone magic me up a morning after pill?

would make a female house elf suck me off. Try and fuck those things in the lake too

Kill myself now because I'm part of one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

All keks aside, why wouldn't they just fuck actual witches?

Anyone else been shagging girls in the wardrobes?

OH MY GOD I'M SUCH A NERD I LURV HARRY POTTER AND GEEKSQUAD!!

*Shoots all of the wizards before they can say their gay little spells*

LOL BTFO

>"aaaagh!"

One of my favorite pastas

Looks like viggo in the first pic

penis erectus

because it's true

Is that meme alive again, or are you just underage?

girl on left in third pic looks like norm macdonald

It's a lot easier to get a boy to agree to have sex than a girl

How much gold for a 20 bag?

>Eats a five-pound bag of Fizzing Whizzbees
>Explodes

If I had access to a Polyjuice potion whats to stop me from commiting credit fraud/rape/impersonation?

...

Azkaban.

Hope you can cast a nonverbal, wandless patronus.

Nothing, it's so simple that some second year students can use it, yet effective enough that someone using it could fool Hogwarts for an entire year. Nerf Polyjuice plox.

But how would they know that I used a polyjuice potion in the first place? Harry and his crew got away with it twice and even infiltrated the head of magic or whatever. They have no way of telling that I am using it.

Came here only to see if this was posted. You never let me down fellas

I'm gonna shove this wand up my poo poo hole and shout ASCENDIO!!!!

Hello, user...want to get high behind Hagrid's shack again?

>Fuck, man, if Dumbledore cheats Gryffindor into victory again, I swear I'll destroy this fucking place.

>tfw weekly hufflepuff orgies

based

>Starlord
Syletherin
>Cap
Ravenclaw
>Thor
Hufflepuff
>Supes
>Gryffindor

Y-yeah. Yeah, I'd love that.

Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to Gryffindor tomorrow.

We need to speak out against Voldemort, just like Stephen Colbert is speaking out against Trump! Professor Dumbledore can be our Hillary Clinton!

I'm here to fuck some british pussy

This this is my dream.
Imagine exploring the forbidden forest with this cutie.
Imagine exploring HER forbidden forest.
Good heavens.

Dreadful

Tfw when malfoy won't let you be in his crew

So... you're saying Dumbles will ensure we elect Voldemort to be Minister for Magic?

>gets beat up daily by malfoys crew
>not cool enough to kick it with team Harry
>molested by Snape
>drops out in 11th wizard grade
>magic tricks and blowjobs for meth

>molested by Snape and both Dumbledores

Goddamn Hufflepuff girls, they’re not the best looking but lads they can succ

Hey Harry do you see rick & morty?

I would just take Voldemort's wand and break it in half. Skinny noseless faggot couldn't do shit about it.

...

You know Harry did some creeping with that cloak

>ACIO DAD'S HUNTING RIFLE

Flitwick here
#metoo

you know he stole a bunch of her hair when she was thirteen and is still turning himself into her when Ginny is at quidditch practice with the children.

I’m borderline retarded because we’ve learned no math or English skills

Orgy on Friday night in the girls bathroom near Hufflepuff common room, no Gryffindor shitters allowed.

they probably have some bullshit potion that grants you the ability to write and speak english perfectly.

What you're look at, mudblood?

This isn't real.
We can't get wifi at hogwarts

>*casts rapus erecta*

I fucking hate that pretentious cunt Potter, everyone acts like he's the fucking chosen one, but he's just some cunt.

I bet I could take he who must not be named, I looked at his picture in a old yearbook and he's just some faggot.

>mudblood
Nice digits will you go to the dance/party/broomstick game with me?

>dude disarming charms xd
fuck that faggot

>tfw sorted into Hufflepuff and condemned into a life of mediocraty at the age of eleven

>he dropped his wand
>but its ok, he has a spare

Grindelwald did nothing wrong.

Why would you need maths and English? Arithmancy and Latin are the patrician choice, you colonial mudblood.

>And your other wand.

Avada Kedavra suicide

They did have writing assignments. Gryffindor students probably had exceptional grammar skills because Snape would fail them for misplacing a comma.

ITT: Slytherin fags cry about literally everything

>muh pure blood
fuck off

AYE DAT NIGGA POTTA SKRAIGHT UP PUSSIFY
BLACK MAN BUILT HOGWARTS DEN DEEZ CRACKA WIZADS STOLE IT FROM US.
WE WUZ WIZZADS N SHEEIT

Harry?

It’s lev-e-oh-sneed

Not lev-e-oh-chuck

>tfw Ravenclaw girls have major sticks up their asses

You have it easy, I'd take a ditzy Hufflepuff slut any day.

I thought Ginny was supposed to be really attractive

how do you go from left to right?

BLACK COULD BE ANYWHERE

>Tfw the only cool Hufflepuff kid DIED before he had the chance to graduate

>t. Kangzley Shacklebolt

Don't even try and deny it, priori postato says so.

whats the spell for conjuring a gf?

I nabbed strand of hair from that quirky blonde girl from Ravenclaw.

Any one of you willing to drink the Polyjuice Potion so I can fuck your (her) tight pussy?

Morsmodre. Don't tell anyone I told you, it's a secret.

ok i did it where the fuck is my gf

>Yes goyim, accept mudbloods into your school, and racemix with the muggles. Diversity is our strength.

So I went to the old bathroom to fap and Moaning Myrtle was there. I was jacking off while she watched and talked dirty to me, was pretty hot.

Anyone going to put their names in the Goblet of Fire this year? I hope I get picked up, imagine the amount of pusy I would get.

>When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

As a black person would I survive in Slytherin?

How do people still fall for the delete your morsmodre32 meme in 2017. You just fucked up your wand, kid.

When do we start the muggel genocide fellow students?

Niggers shouldn't be on Sup Forums period

Not if you are a mudblood. Slytherin is for purebloods only.

is hufflepuff /ourhouse/?

Undisclosed Hogwarts teacher here.

If there are any young women who'd like to gain extra points for their house, please leave lewd pictures of yourselves under the broomstick closet near the fourth floor bathrooms. Thank you.

uncanny

Just imagine you and your gf being able to live out your fantasies of fucking other people while still fucking one another. Wizarding marriages would have a high success rate due to this.