Who /R A U N C H Y/ Here?!

CONFIRMED L I T T Y

not even out of touch CRITICS can deny that JUMANJI is a FUN and LITTY peice of RAUNCHKINO and that the FANS will LOVE it and PISS all over themselves with laughter

Other urls found in this thread:

rottentomatoes.com/m/jumanji_welcome_to_the_jungle/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

we fucking LITTY in this bitch!

raunchkino

I might unironically watch this in theaters when it's out

I wonder how Chris Van Allsburg feels about Hollyjews throwing out all the mysterious elements that made the original picture book so compelling. Robin Williams must be rolling in his grave too.

>let's turn the board game with eerie tokens and suspenseful dice throwing and hazy reader... into a VIDEO GAME

I want to rape that ginger's asshole with my tongue

Same. I've just accepted at this point that film is never going to be taken seriously as an art form, might as well have some fun

Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.

Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.

When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!

>I've just accepted at this point that film is never going to be taken seriously as an art form
what did he mean by this

is litty short for little effort

Merry Pissmas!

reports of FLOODS of PISS in cinemas across the country - experts blame the RAUNCHY, LITTY new KINO JUMANJI

>TYRANT MOTHS

I recognize this reference

does karen do raunchy?

The Rock is the only real A-list movie star left in Hollywood.

Everything else relies on brands. The Rock sells himself.

I meant exactly that. What part wasn't clear?

He's not the only one. Tom Cruise is also like that. Chris Pratt may get to that point one day.

PISS tidal waves have been reported coming out of cinemas all over the country. The population is advised to bulk up on adult diapers before seeing this FUN and LITTY flick.

I think its cool that an actor can pick things he enjoys, I wish I had a job I enjoyed and I was rich as fuck.

How hard would it be to write an algorithm that translates everything into Rockspeak?

NEWS OUTLETS ACROSS AMERICA ARE REPORTING ON A SISTER STORM TO HURRICANE HARVEY, WHICH THEY ARE CALLING HURRICANE "PISSLIT"
IT IS PROJECTED THAT THERE WILL BE APPROXIMATELY $800 BILLION DOLLARS IN DAMAGE DUE TO FLOODS OF LITERAL FUCKING PISS TEARING OPEN THE SKY AND LEVELING ENTIRE CITIES
ONLY THOSE WITH THE MOST POWERFUL KIDNEYS AND HIGH TESTOSTERONE COUNTS WILL SURVIVE
GOD HELP US ALL FROM THE LITTY KINO THAT IS TO COME

California might need that piss if it's still on fire.

In what way is film no longer taken seriously as an art form? Because of silly forgettable flicks? Are books not taken seriously as an art form because someone published their shitty romance novel? Are paintings not taken seriously because of porn art?

What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little out of touch critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Jumani (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some FUN, dude. RAUNCHY COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Baywatch (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO. GET F***UCKING LITTY!!

What the fuck does LITTY mean?

God damn nigger memes.

rottentomatoes.com/m/jumanji_welcome_to_the_jungle/

>85%

WHAT

LITERALLY THE FUCK

HOW

>26 reviews

STILL

.....someone let me know when they reach 100. I need to see if they have managed to effectively desecrate Williams's grave

critics can't resist this RAUNCHY little flick, they probably PISSED themselves with how LITTY this little piece was

Maybe because it's actually gee I dunno A GOOD FLICK?!

The fire rises.

Cruise and Pitt afe tge few remaining actors that sell on star power alone. Pitt is less noticed due to non mainstream projects compared to Cruise.

Is jumanji the first good movie based on a video game?

Good? Don't you mean LITTY? Audiences all over the world are going to PISS themselves with LAUGHTER. Get ready for the RAUNCHIEST LIL' COMEDY of all time.

I can't remember if Tron or Last Starfighter came first but one of those beat it by three decades.

>Williams's grave
The Rock death will have way more impact

>Jack Black
>Kevin Hart
>The Rock

Ooooh, We on now!

Finna be Quips for days! ROFL! IT'S LIT!