Manchildren: The Movie

...

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still getting over those fucking legs tbgh. never even heard of this faggotry till now

Says the Manchild posting on Manchildren: The Forum.

can we expect memes in this flick?

And your point is?

this looks like a shitty mix between .hack and summer wars combined with an autistic amount of 80s nostalgia

>.hack

And you would know all about autism.

did I hit a nerve sperg?

Nope.

But anime = autism, as we both know.

memes age like stale ass though. when's the last time you found desu or cat macros funny? if they had a meme from 2017 in this movie it would just be a terrible cash-in.

Now if they referenced the neo-80s shit we have going on today, that would have a little more ground to stand on. A kung fury reference would be right at home in this garbage. If Will Wheaton can be on the government, why can't Ryan Gosling be the head of some digital autism charity?

What the fuck is wrong with his leg??

>they won't put stale stuff in it

there is an overwatch character in it.

I bet we can expect a bit of >meme culture in it too. We are talking about hollywood here afterall.

More like Fanfic The Movie. The book had a good idea but the writing was crap, not expecting this to be any better (especially since the author is the screenwriter of this movie).

The biggest movie of next year

JUST

>implying I didn't mean the game
>implying you have to be an anime fan to know anime
so you just got triggered because I used your illness as a pejorative? interasding.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT HIS LEG
HIS LEG
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>The Matrix

Only part I cringed at. Everything else checks out.

>implying so hard to convince you're not an autistic animefag

Why so embarrassed? It's an anonymous board, junior. No one except your mom will ever know your dirty secret.

I mean the writing is shit but I think the premise of the book is interesting enough that with some restructuring it could make a solid movie

king of legs

Just IMAGINE being the kind of person to get exicted by this

Now just IMAGINE being the kind of person to get triggered by this

wait, this isn't from the book, right?

did anyone else notice they changed james halliday from a happy on the outside kinda guy to a deppresive monotone kill me now look in his eyes? almost like media wants to depict everyone whos alone in life is actually this

ready player two

The book must be 10 pages without the ebin references

lmao

Threadly reminder that this movie can only work as a satire.

The things written here... thats not something to be proud of, yet the writer sounds like its the greatest achievement in life.

OH I GET IT
THE ECLIPSE IS OVAL BECAUSE IT'S AN EASTER EGG HAHA

CLAP CLAP CLAP

It's probably the greatest achievement in his life though

Someone post his views on porn please

If this were written as copypasta in 2013 it would have been dank as fuck

Is anyone really surprised at a programmer autist character having such shit taste? Most of them are Big Bang theory like people

Autism is autism, they can’t understand emotional intelligence and therefore stay away from works that require such a mind. Programmers are NEVER into philosophy

Lmao

We all walk up here.

looks like a movie for soyboys

no it just means getting ready. like a chicken in egg getting ready to get out of egg

OY VEY THESE KIKES MUST BE STOMPED

ironic, postong this on 4chin

>wacky wall walker the movie

This is reddit, this is memes

I really couldn't have given a shit less about the premise of Steven Spielberg's "Ready Player One", which comes out next year, until I read an excerpt from the Ernest Cline book it's adapted from where the protagonist describes a DeLorean car (from the 1985 movie "Back to the Future" which stars Parkinson's sufferer Michael J. Fox) he won and then outfitted with a talking onboard computer named KITT (a reference to a 1982 American Television Series known as "Knight Rider") and an oscillation overthruster (from the 1984 cult hit science fiction romantic adventure comedy film directed and produced by W.D Richter, "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!") and the Ghostbuster's logo and ECTO-88 license plates (a reference to the 2016 hit paranormal comedy film "Ghostbusters"), and then, to be honest, I was completely sold! I can't wait til this movie comes out!

Ready Slender One

We still need to figure out who would win guys

I'm always amused when manchildren try so hard to convince themselves they're not manchildren.

I thought of Sup Forums when I read this part a few years ago

No discernible talent

Left is some kind of recursive hugbox
Right is clearly reddit vishnu

I never read the book but from what I've read about it I think it's going to flop, I feel like that whole epic bacon xkcd geek aesthetic has really died off pretty hard in the last couple years. Maybe it's wishful thinking

There's 2 Battleborn characters.

I see the battletoads now. How much money does this movie stand to lose?

I think it'll make a ton. It's done by one of the most acclaimed directors of our time, who can still snag high rotten tomatoes scores. 80s nostalgia is huge, videogames is huge.

Also one director, with a clear goal, with a lifetime of moviemaking expirience, should keep the costs tight.

Tracer lara battletoads chun li

>Everything else checks out.
user, did you somehow miss "And, of course, Kevin Smith."? Kevin Smith has made about 2 or 3 worthwhile films. Most of his filmography is awful.

The phrase "made for reddit" gets thrown around on here way too often but Ready Player One was legitimately tailor made for reddit. Everything about it screams "XD I'M SUCH A NERD!

What the fuck is this book actually about?

I'm surprised you're just allowed to write about so many copywritten things and intellectual properties. If I were writing a book, I'd think making these real life companies so central to the book would get me in trouble.

>It's done by one of the most acclaimed directors of our time, who can still snag high rotten tomatoes scores.
You're forgetting:
>Spielberg hasn't made a critically/commercially successful blockbuster since Minority Report. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a commercial hit but it got a lot of backlash from critics and fans of the franchise. Same thing with War of the Worlds.
>Spielberg's last film, The BFG, was a massive failure. It flopped at the box office and got middling reviews from critics.

Are you ignoring Lincoln, which won an academy award? And Bridge of Spies, which was critically acclaimed?

The BFG looked boring and gross. Ready Player One looks hip and fun.

If you take away the millions of references, Ready Player One is just a hodgepodge of dystopia tropes and virtual reality tropes. It's a horribly written mess that's only liked by fake nerds.

We're talking about Spielberg's blockbusters, user. You know his Oscar bait dramas have very little in common with his blockbusters.

Kevin Smith is a pretty cool guy, tho. He's geeky, but unlike most geeks, he's mostly positive instead of always negative.

for you

I'm sure he's a nice, approachable guy but I can't stand his constant pandering. It seems like every damn day he's crying/masturbating to capeshit. Excessive positivity can be just as irritating as excessive negativity.

This. I used to really like him but his constant shilling and praising of awful shit is really disingenuous. Especially considering he used to be so no-bullshit back in the day.

What?

It's the premise of the book. The guy gets a gf because he can reference nerd stuff super good.

i miss those stupid threads.

...

>“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

...

i can't imagine what it's like to have grown up hardcore into comic books and live through the last couple years of pop culture validating the shit out of your tastes. everywhere you look it's like "we pumped a gazillion dollars into that comic you read 25 years ago!"

it'd be like if i woke up tomorrow and America was completely enamored with a musical based on the music of Carnivore.

What the fuck am I reading?

justsomelyrics.com/2184628/ernest-cline-nerd-porn-auteur-lyrics.html

I'd prefer this

>“I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it. I wish someone had just said: “Here’s the deal, Wade. You’re something called a ‘human being.’ That’s a really smart kind of animal. Like every other animal on this planet, we’re descended from a single-celled organism that lived millions of years ago. This happened by a process called evolution, and you’ll learn more about it But trust me, that’s really how we all got here. There’s proof of it everywhere, buried in the rocks. That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. “Oh, and by the way … there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid Deal with it.”

― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

youtu.be/VogdofDmX74

>And, of course, Kevin Smith.

He's not a very good writer and probably read too much Chuck Palahniuk and thinks that sort of cerebral monologuing narration style automatically makes him a good writer. I used to write the same way when I was like 16 for classes. It's impressive to people who are retarded but all it requires is surface level knowledge of a subject and a slightly above average vocabulary (or just access to a thesaurus.)

I just realized the genius of the movie. By making tons of the references hidden in the background, you’re guaranteed to miss at least a few on your first viewing. Manchildren will unironically pay to see the movie twice so they can see the character they missed the first time around. It’s devious.

Nah it's actually to spread itself as wide as possible to try and trick people into seeing it once.

Read the whole book out of curiosity. Yes it is actually that bad. One thing that seriously bugged the shit out of me was this one part near the end.
The main character is pulling off his plan to fuck over the big corporation and at one point there is an entire page describing him obtaining a gun to protect himself in case the corporation tried to kill him. THEN THEY NEVER FUCKING MENTION THE GUN AGAIN. I'm not saying it had a little fun by playing around with tropes and contradicting the "gun introduced in the first act" law, I seriously mean that the main character isn't described using it, isn't described thinking about using it, isn't put in a position where he might need it, they don't even mentioning him putting it away so presumably he carries it for the rest of the entire novel.
I'm straight up convinced this hack writer included this part of the book with some idea that later on the plot would have him use the gun, but then he changed his mind on that point and then straight up forgot to take the gun part out of the book.

1/2

>I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary
Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.
These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.
But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.
You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

― Ernest Cline

this shit is so awful

2/2

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.
I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.
My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.
Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.
And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .
If you're an intelligent woman who is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

― Ernest Cline

...

>this guy has not only made a living off of his writing but is now rich as fuck and has Spielberg directing an adaptation of his work
Anything is possible. - Kevin Garnett

The audio book is pretty fun at least. I can't ever imagine trying to read that shit myself.

I like how it opens up with this pseudo-intellectual pretentious #woke shit and then immediately delves into mindlessly and autistically listing off 80s references. Wow you sure showed me how enlightened are by one paragraph of facebook-tier angst followed by an entire rest of the book of pure wish fulfilment garbage riddled with pop-culture references.
The funniest thing is that Cline creates an entire dystopian world in the book but he never goes past a few paltry sidenote sentences worth of analyzing it.

>Audio book voiced by Will Wheaton doing the most obnoxious and over acted character voices is good
Jesus christ please stop

>tips fedora

>Manchildren: The Movie

No one will argue with that but the best thing to do is to not make threads about it and ignore its existence until it flops and is forgotten, then we can all have a nice laugh about it.

>at one point there is an entire page describing him obtaining a gun to protect himself in case the corporation tried to kill him. THEN THEY NEVER FUCKING MENTION THE GUN AGAIN.
This happens in Neuromancer.

In fact if I recall correctly Case buys a taser, a bunch of ninja stars and a Makarov loaded with explosive bullets and never so much as brandishes any of them, complete with an extended passage where he buys the first two in a panic because it'll be an hour before he can buy the gun.

If this was intentional the book would have said "I bought the gun and then put it away to never bring it out again because I was caught up in a cyberpunk conspiracy like the one in the William Gibson novel Neuromancer (1984) where the main character buys a gun and then puts it away and never uses it again when he discovers he's at the center of a cyberpunk conspiracy. Also the gun was Harrison Ford's gun from Blade Runner."

>and it had a laser sight like the gun from Arnold Schwarzenegger's The Terminator

>(((media)))

after reading it, I really want this movie to fail

1/2

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary
Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.
These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.
But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.
You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

― Ernest Cline

litreally Manchild:the post

2/2

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.
I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.
My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.
Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.
And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .
If you're an intelligent woman who is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

― Ernest Cline

edit: just saw someone else posted it