ITT: Terrible film criticism

I'll start

>Cheeto dust

>lacking diversity

>male centric

>nothing happened
I need a more retarded wojack for this one

>blade runner 2049 is an almost 3 hour long R rated visually focused slow burning neo-noir sci fi film with zero quips that deals with the human condition

>boring
>ambitious
>made no money
>too long
>bold

>"Well, I liked it."

>it was on the nose

HOW TO SPOT A BRAINLET PLEB 101

>only able to discuss literal plot points and the logical order of the narrative of a film
>every film has a singular universal "deep meaning" which you have to "get" to understand it
>"The writing is the most important filmmaking element!"
>thinks that empty pretty pictures means "good cinematography"
>"I don't find this part of the narrative plausible or realistic, therefore the movie is SHIT!"
>treating a film like a puzzle which you have to put together in a certain kind of way to get it
>a film is either utter dogshit or a masterpiece, there is no inbetween
>"Who cares about editing, framing and composition sound and whatnot if the story isn't great."
>considers heavy use of direct symbolism as a positive factor
>using "boring" and "nothing happens" as arguments ever

>timely
>important
>these times

ur dind watx et in da IMAX

>whats the ''point'' in it
>whats the point in ___ character

>a love letter to...

...

>DAT ENDING

>it was boring and pretentious

I was literally imagining a wojack with his head split open and a small brain on the inside today in the car. I wish it hadthe face of the wojack face mangled and split on the sides though instead of only a face on the brain

>tour de force

>I liked the movie
>what did you like about it?
>kino

>noun is adjective
>I found the [film element] [adverb]
>Scene specifically crafted to convey a spectrum of emotions was spectrum of emotions

>the pacing was bad

>It had good world building

yeah this one doesnt belong here. its a perfectly valid opinion

>yeah this one doesnt belong here. its a perfectly valid opinion

>symbolism

DA BISHWOOLS DA SONDTRAG DA PEASSING DA PLOODT DA BIGS OTIS REDURD

>id promoats violance

>ID OFFENDES MA IDOLOGYS

yeah that didnt belong here. saying it has good world building is a perfectly valid opinion

Name 37 movies with good world building.

star wars prequels world building is as good as 37 others

>IT WAS BORING! IT WA- AAAGAHH HHHHHEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE! KIIIIHHHHH MEEEEEEEEEHHHHH

w-what?

I hate this the most. Not fucking everything you see in a movie has to be used as plot device to move the plot. Sometimes things just exists and don't need to corelate to the "epic" finale.

>DEY MAEK FUN MUH NOLAN AND MUH VILLENUV SO CHEETO IS TEH STOOPID
fuck off reddit

There's a mass misconception that >"plot holes = unexplained plot"

It fucking doesn't. It's when the plot contradicts itself. Why does everyone do this??

jesus christ, you'd have to be such a filmlet to utter this with sincerity.

>pretentious

>it's bad because I didn't like the characters

nothing wrong with these

MOTY to be desu

exactly. it all contributes to the overall movie is someway, doesnt have to have some underlying motive or play a significant role in
whatever the movie is about,
most people here seem to expect this in every single movie

>"reddit"

...

So basicly most of Sup Forums?

Bad pacing was something that IMDB plebs used all the time to criticize movies that they didn't like or didn't understand, they didn't even know what they were talking about which was actually the norm.

>it was a departure from the previous entry

>It's not what I expected to happen

>there's no colors

>it didn't follow the book/comic/anime/manga/game/derivative

thes threds mak me scare

It's a buzz word.

They never go into any specifics. Like >should this scene have been longer or shorter?
>Should there have been additional scenes?
>Different additional angles?
>Was the music too fast or slow?
>Was the lighting outside too off so the audience couldn't tell how time has passed.

Literally a buzzword that never touches anything specific.

>There are people who actually say this about the Transformers movies as if making them more faithful to some old toy commercials would fix them

>Overrated

when I say the theatrical cut of the LOTR movies has better pacing than the extended versions do I really have to talk about every single scene then?

>brainlet

I'll answer because why the fuck not?
The First 6 Star Wars Films
Dune
2001: A Space Odyssey
LOTR Trilogy
Hobbit Trilogy
The First 2 Terminator Films
Ghost in the Shell
Jin-Roh
Alien Franchise
Predator 1 and 2
Inception (Fight me)
Inside out
UP
Wall-e
Spirited Away
Kiki's Delivery Service
Angel's Egg
End of Evangelion
Iron Giant
Howl's Moving Castle
Good enough for you user

some of those are flicks, and a couple are films. Nice try though

obvious shit like the Hobbit aside, you're straight diving into the meme zone at the end

That's what you get for not liking capekino

>flicks nd films r 2 diffurunt things hurrr
>insert brainlet picture i'm too lazy to find

Sneedo Dust

You should be specific about why you think a movie has bad pacing, your criticism about LOTR is not valid because the extended editions are not the final product, the IMDB plebs used the bad pacing criticism on older movies, movies that normally have a small fanbase or are considered above average by movie buffs, these movies have nothing to do with the polished commercial movies that Hollywood makes nowadays, so like the other user said they often used the bad pacing as a way to sound smart.

BLAARG.

I said 37 not 22.

This picture is art

Ghost in the shell had terrible worldbuilding-live action one i assume you're talking about.

Also all those animated movies....

>a glib facsimile

>it was such oscar bait

Im talking about the 1995 one ofc

fuck off

>6 starwars movies
>3 LOTR
>3 Hobbits
>5 alien movies

Don't count them as one movie

every year there are several movies that get several nominations or even win oscars and nobody talks about them ever again
and they all have currently discussed social issues as their themes and get released only a few months before the oscars

calling The Danish Girl oscar bait is by no means wrong for example

>the book was better

STAR WARS PREQUELS HAD A GOOD WORLD BUILDING.

>Not fucking everything you see in a movie has to be used as plot device to move the plot

>"not every single weapon is designed with the intent to harm a human being or other life form"
Holy shit this is the fucking gayest thing I've read all fucking day. You goddamn piece of trash. Nobody watches a porno to see how good the make up artist did her hair/eyeys/lips. No. People watch porn to see a hot bitch get fucked and to climax. CLIMAX. Same with you movies you cunt. People watch it to be entertained. Nothing else. Bits in movies irrelevant to the plot are literally gay.

I can't tell if this is ironic or not

>It's X meets Y
the laziest trope out there

>Brainlet surface-level casuals watch it to be entertained
ftfy

Are you "entertained" when you watch a film like Threads? Or for example The Hunt? The Road?
Go indulge in your degenerate "entertainment" capeshit my man, just stop posting please

the world building of Howl's Moving Castle for example is a mess, just straight up terrible

or maybe it's just the shitty characters, that's hard to separate sometimes

Who the fuck makes all these?

if not entertainment what else do you watch it for? no pretentious faggy answers

>its bad because i didnt relate to the main character

To experience something I can't or won't probably experience in real life, so i have more perspective on those things and life in general?
Watch Threads if you want to know how a nuclear fallout would look like, watch The Hunt if you want to experience how it is to be falsely accused of something etc.
Film isn't just about pointless time wasting escapism, I hope you some day grow out of your juvenile phase

>when you're so devoid of personality you have to label films "casual level" and watch only "non-casual" films as apart of your identity.

I don't watch capeshit. It doesn't entertain me. Thanks for that movie recommendation though I wanna see The Hunt

I made one

>something I wanted to happen didn't happen
>fictional character I consider important seemed incompetent

Not him and he is a total pleb, but isn't actually having those experiences entertaining in the fact it makes you question your being and how facets of life works even for a second? Then there is the entertainment on how they presented those experiences in a way you can be engrossed in it.

The book was better

...

>Film isn't just about pointless time wasting escapism

That's pretty much why 99% of this earth watches movies you tard. If I wanted to learn trhough film I'd watch Documentaries. If I wanted new perspective I'd debate, write etc. Not watch a homosexual movie with shit plot.

Entertainment and experience something you don't know are the same thing: escapism to forget death

...

That is so disturbing who draws this shit

>To experience something I can't or won't probably experience in real life
>Film isn't just about pointless time wasting escapism
which one is it faggot

99% of this earth listens to David Guetta and watches capeshit, why should I give a single fuck about that

>it’s a modern, hilarious, fun film

>99% of this earth listens to David Guetta
I don't, and I don't really like capeshit.

>it’s dishonest

>Armond white hated it

How is gaining new perspective on things in life pointless time wasting?
And it's not like every film has a singular universal point everyone should "get" out of it, it's a personal experience for every viewer and everyone get's something else from it.