You are POTUS

>You are POTUS

>You have been debriefed on the Thing

>You just received word that it landed in Siberia one hour ago

What do you do?

Tweet about it

Launch nukes, better for a fiery death than to get assimilated

Nuke it from orbit

I pound a dozen diet cokes, turn on Fox News, and let someone else handle it

The Thing is Reddit core together with Alien

nothing let the Ruskies try and stop it then nuke the shit out of russia

They're both right. If it's contained to Siberia, and hasn't spread yet, nuke the place

>Good movies are Reddit core

Tell the Russians and then go public. Better people know, even if it means mass panic and murder.

Collude with the Russians as I always do

>trying to fit in this hard
go do your homework kid

Airdrop a lot of wire hangers and lighters,

two scoops.

>2k17
>Uses the r3ddit cartoon frog
Hi r3ddito

>Brainlet_Wojak.jpg

2.5/10

>Thing assimilates one bird or fish

It wins

>Post "kek the frog"
>defends reddit
Hmmmm

jesus christ user stop embarrassing yourself

what thing?

The Thing relies on jumpscares to be spooky unlike new horror like the VVitch.

call Hellboy

Make an executive order to ban all immigrants from entering the country problem solved

The witch is contrarian's first horror

Obviously tweet about it instead of doing anything productive

t. Reddit

I'd call every conservative in my line of succession into my oval office and then gas the room

why do retarded posters get dubs

it's clobbering time!

Realistically is there a way to beat this thing without resorting to extreme shit like nuking?

No

I'd summon all the bumfuck hillbillies that voted for me and send them to Siberia to deal with the monster. 64D underwater chess

No. If it gets to a single insect or bird or fish then it can get anywhere. Best to carpet nuke and risk the devastating consequences than to worry about The Thing.

Brap internally and wait for the end

Call my boyfriend Putin to make sure he's ok so I can still suck his cock every chance I get.

Nuke.

What is this? Why are you acting retarded? Are you a newfag?

Get suspicious of doggo

Impressive
Dubs or true, Reddit bfto

fpbp

[citation needed]

I would drink 12 diet cokes, watch 8 hours of tv, tweet about it, and then eat T W O S C O O P S

Convince the American public that trannies are the things natural predator, and recruit as many troon troops to go fight the creature. Then, 2 days later, nuke the fuck out of the location.

Send a fully hazmat ebola-style flamethrower military group to burn everything the fuck down

Literally nothing we can do because Politics

>Warn the Russians
They won't believe us, likely won't allow us to prove it via investigation

>Attempt to contain or Quarantine the area
Russians will view it as a threat to their sovereignity and intercept

>Bomb the shit out of the area
Russians will see it as an act of war and nuclear holocaust will ensue

>Go Public
Won't accomplish anything but unecessary panic

Once it reaches to nearest town it's all over, it's better to just sit back and watch the world burn, preferably by nukes.

Call Putin, explain the situation, share whatever intel we have on The Thing. Tell him that the area is getting nuked, whether it's by him if he likes, or us. If he doesn't like it, do it anyway, and give him the flight path of the missile so as to hopefully convince them we aren't nuking Moscow.

The Thing getting making it to civilization would result in the extinction of the vast majority of humanity, so it's worth the risk that it may result in worldwide nuclear war.

This is retarded , why didn't it infect all the dogs then

Blair killed all the dogs

Conference with the Russian government and nuke the fuck out of Siberia. Firebomb it too just to be sure.

Nuke North Korea

Why didn't it perfectly infect all the dogs and humans instantly? Because people always argue that the thing is ultra fast and perfectly capable of infecting the earth in a couple of days or weeks but we don't see that in the movies

don't let reddit deter you. Keep up the anti-reddit posting

Napalm/Nuke the fuck out of Siberia

They did calculations in the movie and the computer calculated it would take about 3 years to completely overtake the world.

you gotta neutron bomb that shit up. it's the only way. also the margins have to be big enough to accommodate however far the Thing could get if it happened to find a bird or a fish.

what form is it starting out with, anyway? is it multi-cellular?

that's what it was in the process of doing before they walked in on it...

So we just hope it doesn't go into a cockroach. Survive the nuke. Wait it out and Travel to a new place and take it slow to make people think it's dead. And take over in a few years.


Once it gets to a populated area. It's over.

I never understood why an advanced lifeform like The Thing, which can build spaceships would waste time trying to destroy earth's population

In fact, in the movie we see that it is trying to build another spaceship to leave, it probably just attacked the humans due to not being sure of what they would do to it

Macready shouldnt have gone after it desu

Do you really believe a cockroach can survive a Nuke? Fucking lol

No one said there's anything bad about reddit core movies.

I would fuck it to death.

criminally underrated post. Take my (You) and the knowledge that at least one person SWYDT.

cockroaches can survive high levels of radiation. They can't withstand temperatures as high as the center of the sun (100,000,000 c)

>letting thing assimilate Russia and get their nuclear codes

mistake

It's parasitic, it needs hosts to feed on, or to control.

>t.hippy who hasn't seen the prequel

Thing started killing niggas asap

the thing is the ultimate Mary Sue

Honestly, this is the smartest thing. Presidents are incompetent in specific matters and should delegate matters to the experts around them.

Not the case if she won though...

It's the only way to be sure

If by some plot asspull Hellboy can't be assimilated, I'd love to see this. Maybe because he's supernatural in nature his cells can't be taken over.

Wonder how in the shit they'd contain it. Liz could burn the fuck out of everything that moves but sooner or later, one single fucking airborne particle is going to get far enough to fuck everything up. The solution would have to be magic.

It Hillary won, this thread would be titled, "What if the Thing was elected President, how would we stop it?"

...

If it got anywhere near an ocean, all life on earth is done.

Really, the only reason Earth didn't get completely assimilated is because that ship crashed in the once place it could potentially be contained. I wonder if the aliens aboard who were being assimilated crashed on a pole on purpose to give the planet a chance.

Its whole goal is to assimilate. There could be a galaxy of Thing planets out there. Galaxies. Shit, for all we know, Earth is the only thing left that has non-Thing life on it.

Dude Hellboy is the spawn of Outer Gods of The H.P. Lovecraft variety.
Odds are The Thing in such a world where the two meet would also be the spawn of such creatures.
I doubt he would be assimilated. In his Universe he is destined to cause the apocalypse, so he does have plot Armor.

Add in the fact they fight against dopplegangers and the like every other day, I think it's safe to say he would be able to find a way deus ex machina style.

Genuinely a spooky thought

Most reddit posts I've ever seen. Please, stop trying to be funny you faggots.

>debriefed
So it's already over? Guess I go back to Twitter shitposting and fucking Melania.

>can't even assimilate a couple more dogs in time

Think about it, user. It was trying to speed-change those dogs. But each little bit of it is its own animal. All that fluid on the floor...any of it gets on you, you'll slowly start turning. Breathe some of it, it's only a matter of time. If a little drop of it gets in the ocean, it has infinite little microrganisms to assimilate. If it even lands in a jungle or forest, every bit of animal life and likely plant life will belong to it.

Being in Anarctica is the only thing that made sure this didn't happen. It had to try to be tactical, to turn over what life it had to work with on -site, which is very little compared to what it would have anywhere else. Most places on earth, we're surrounded by life all the time. Millions of little mites in our homes that we don't even notice. All the bacteria and other microrganisms all over the ground, in every drop of water.

If it had had anything at all to work with, it would have won.

Build a wall and make the thing pay for it.

It's an antagonist tho so it doesnt matter

Source on all that? Sounds like you are just pulling all that out of your ass. If that was true all the crew would be instantly infected

came to post this

Remember faggots, it gives it in the film 3 years for the thing to assimilate everything

Based first post

They likely would have been in due time.

Do you remember what the computer told Blair? I don't have a screencap, but it said that if any amount of Thing hit the mainlaind, Earth would be fully assimilated in like a couple weeks. It gave its projection in hours. That's why he destroyed the radio equipment, killed the dogs, and fucked up all the vehicles. He knew that no amount of this shit could ever reach mainland.

Each little particle of thing is its own organism. Its a colony creature. You only need one cell to hit a densely populated area. I mean, it has to obey the laws of thermodynamics. It has to need calories and water to live. So it HAS to have livable conditions. But if you give it even a little bit of a chance, there's little hope of stopping it. One single fucking cell has to get away.

Was it 3 years? That's a hell of a lot better than two weeks. There could be a fighting chance. I just don't see how you ensure that no single fucking particle of this fucking thing didn't get away. It drove me crazy when I first saw the film as a kid. If it only needs one cell, one single fucking cell of itself to get inside you to start turning you into more of it, how the hell do you ever be completely sure?

It was 27000 hours

holy kek fpbp

...

right, so like 2 weeks

Who would win, The Thing or Cthulhu?

what are you smoking? Hellboy is heavily emphasized to be the son of the fallen prince (aka Satan).

>briefing was too long and didn't have enough graphics so I didn't read it
>hear about it like everyone else on Fox and Friends or Hannity when it's too late
>ask my twitter followers why my predecessor didn't take care of it
>it's a rhetorical question, all my twitter followers know Obongo is in league with the Thing

>Landed in Siberia
>One hour ago
It has had a fucking hour in a more habitable land than Antartica. Pretty sure we are fucked and has spread out of Siberia into the neighboring countries so I just fuck off into space.

...

didn't happen though

lol nice

9/10 "with are with you 1000%"

Every nuke.