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>Does X die?
>Does X use the green sword?
The pinnacle of cinematic tension folks. Whoever watches this shit should be castrated for the sake of the human race.

but what of Bigger Luke?

OHNONONONONONO PFFFFFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wait. Then who's the enemy supposed to be in Episode IX?

People that don't like nuWars.

>thinks this is the part worth laughing at
Post the one where he talks about Leia getting launched into space and becoming Jedi Superman to fly back to the ship.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Force_phantom He's not dead. It's a Sith power in legends, and if they make it canon (which they have now clearly done), that means that Luke either has turned to the Dark Side.

Or he is secretly the bad guy, and we're just all being played like a fucking fiddle.

Kylo Ren

KYLO

HES THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON TO EVER FEEL THE FORCE

This might be the funniest shit I've seen.

>have cool designs for the Knights of Ren
>have a cool name for the Knights of Ren

>two movies in and do NOTHING with them

OH NO NO NO

Fookin 'ell

This can't be real.

uhju uhju wait till you see the f- uhhujuJUJUJUUU NO NO NO NO ohhhHOHOo ohh uhhuhhuhh

Oh my fucking god there's no way.

THE ABSOLUTE SHANTY TOWN OF STAR WARS

>heheuheuheuhe let's post thousand times debunked leddit """spoilers"""

...

Some of these spoilers are actually worrying me.

I thought Rian was top notch.

...

>Only other notable film is Looper, a film that runs out of steam 20 minutes in

What gave you that idea, Disney's shill team?

Yet another Disney turd that'll reek of bean counting and assembly lines.
Why do you people even still care about this crap?

>The director of Looper
>top notch

Did Rian Johnson splice in Christopher Reeves CGI face over the coke whore while she Superman flew through space?

Kylo. LIterally Jacen and Jania 2.0 but Rey is a random this time. Lmao.

>Snoke can read his mind

>Doesn't notice Kylo is using his mind to pick up a spare saber and kill him with it

>Kylo kills Snoke because

>...

>...Because

Brick and Brothers Bloom were good you fucking ninny

Now I know why movie reviewers who called Ghostbusters "great" and said they "literally cried" after watching the "masterpiece" Wonder Woman are calling this the best Star Wars film yet.

Imagine the Leia flying in the space and the "BRUH LOOK AT THIS DUDE" guy playing in the background

memekino

The guy who got BTFO by the untrained girl in TFA. WOW brilliant!

UNLIMITED POWER

Based on what?

He made one novel, decent film (Brick) a giant piece of shit (Brothers Bloom) and one mediocre Bruce Willis flick (Looper).

What's he actually done to earn any sort of trust with fans?

He was badly injured, had just killed his father, and wasn't trying to hurt her, but take her captive, after trying to even recruit her. Add to that the fact that she took him offguard by being force sensitive and it's really not as hard to understand as brainlets make out. He's still probably much more powerful than her if he's 100% and even moreso if he's trying to kill her.

>Snoke is REALLY powerful
>gets Darth Maul'ed like a bitch

Woah... So this is the power of shitty writing and catering to faggots...

He couldn’t even kill Finn.
It’s poorly written there’s no point defending it.

It's like poetry

>will there be callbacks I can recognize and clap for so everyone in the theater knows I've seen star wars?

>decent filme
>giant pieace of shit
>mediocre

really? you really have those films in such high standard? have you just discovered the 7th art?

>there's no point defending it
>haha I'm so right don't even bother arguing with me and showing me how I'm wrong haha pls don't
It's not that he "couldn't kill Finn", that's a deliberate misrepresentation, he was toying with him while he was, again, badly injured and exhausted physically and mentally.

you come off so obvious when you try this hard

Superman...

Lmao no wonder Mark wants George back

The planet is exploding and he’s injured and exhausted so he’s playing around with some goofy runaway stormtrooper?
Makes perfect sense, excellent writing.

the heart rules the mind

I think it's accurate. I don't think saying Brick is "decent" is overstating it.

What does this even mean, the faggot brainlets I come across on this board who aren't even coherent, just blitheringly hateful really wear on the nerves. I know what you look like, trust me.
Yes... framing it as something ridiculous doesn't make it so. He was never in danger of either the planet or Finn and he was being a showboating dick as villains are prone to doing.

I don't understand how anybody could be satisfied with what they did with Luke. He's a sulky old man ruminating in failure, distracts the baddy for a bit then dies. All this after a film revolving around finding him.
>shit all over his accomplishments in the original
>have him fuck up and turn him into a coward
>basically just a caretaker Jedi like Obi-wan and Yoda
>except not really because Rey already has superpowers
how is this a good resolution at all

Reminder Qui Gon was Darth Plagius the whole time.

It means you're either baiting or in the mouse's pocket
I refuse to believe someone is this stupid posting here

Sith are all about the apprentice killing the master. This is what the Rule of Two eventually leads into. Then the apprentice becomes the master and seeks out an apprentice themselves.

I don't give a shit about fanfiction, but yes, it's a bit weird that this new trilogy essentially renders the entire OT as pointless.

We don't know what happened inbetween the OT and this new trilogy, we just get introduced to our heroes as old, battered and basically in the same place they were at from the outset. Then they die.

They aren't Siths, and that still doesn't explain how Snoke can read his mind, but can't read him using his mind to pick up a saber to kill him with.

Do they tell her to do those facial expressions or can she seriously just not act?

If you have an argument make it, I'm not inclined to prove my intellectual prowess to neckbeards drooling ad hominem. I've not said anything you can convincingly dispute, it's all canon and sensible.

(((They))) want a new audience.

They probably planned for a lot more superman Leia moments in episode 9.
Carrie knew it was really bad and made the ultimate heroic sacrifice to save all the fans from the ultimate cringe.
Here's hoping that stable boy isn't a real leak cause episode 9 is starting to look like bantha fodder. Please god hear my prayers let the stable boy broom scene be fake!!!!!!

>stable boy
what?

If the stable boy is fake then this whole leak is fake

Can't wait to see the webms with a coked up hag flying in space.

It's in the children's book.

Black Anakin.

Disney is turning the force/jedi into mutant genes/x-men

>Black Anakin.
no fucking way, sauce me up please

wh*Te "males"

Normies ruin literally everything.
Why couldn't Star Wars and Star Trek remain exclusively for basement dwellers?

I got some bad news for ya

Brick was an overly pretentious genre wank.

Still good though

fuck I actually wanted to see this on saturday
I think I'm gonna cancel my ticket

>debunked
Fuck off

But user you don't want to see Phasma finally kick ass and hear classic star wars callbacks?

I climbed out of bed to get this shitty image, I hope you're happy, user.

Well that's just incredibly lame

wow, this movie will make TFA look like a masterpiece

Fuck you the latest Star Trek movie was great

>another movie with no Knights of Ren
>BUT WE GET MORE PHASMA
What the fuck, man

What the fuck was the point of this character? Like I know she was just to sell toys and merch and make the cast seem more diverse and all that, but I can't help but ask why they bothered to create this character if she means so little.

>No real redemption for Kylo and he submits to being the big bad even though he has zero believability in that role
>Leia doesn't die but Luke does(what the fuck?)
>Rey allowed to flirt with the dark side and let her emotions rule her but face no consequences again
>Luke astral projecting but still able to interact physically and Leia using the force to slowly fly in space and somehow she doesn't suffocate or freeze
>Side characters sound even more irrelevant than before and just used to space out the important scenes
>even more comedy than TFA

>...Because

To be the new top evil, he is the representative of the 'evil white man'. He will be killed by Rey in the next film, and she will then go back to Finn and be blacked, and the super diverse rebels (where the only white person will be Rey) will celebrate the death of the white race.

Who the fuck is Haldo?

I don't want to cringe when everyone claps because Yoda appears. Help me Sup Forums, you're my only hope (That's a line from Star Wars).

YYYAAAAASSSS

They are caught in a trap

You have to appeal to the old fans, doing something different doesn't do that and is a risk in itself. But doing the same thing again can't help but shit on the old accomplishments, yet on top of that they want o push their all new focus tested and diverse cast of new products I mean characters.

I said it before that this trilogy ruins the hard fought victory we get in the OT. Yeah yeah, of course evil will always exist and all that, but our characters all have such miserable endings. It just seems like they're getting them all out of the way so they can just use the references as props.

Passive force shields, EU luke withstood a black hole. I actually like the theory behind Leiah's scene just to show how far above mortals Jedi are.

Laura Dern's character

the morbidly obese azn?

>she's only in one scene
Man oh man, and she was barely in Game of Thrones due to filming conflicts, I thought. What a mess.

>speculate endlessly about a franchise you pretend to hate
Why are you guys such sad faggots?

*Beautiful full goddess person of yellow

No the one with purple hair

If this is real they should have just fucking had Phasma fight Finn with the lightning batons back in TFA.

>this could actually be the worst SW movie since Attack of the Clones
Holy fuck

What did based PO do in this film?

Or he dies like Yoda or Obi-Wan and disappears.

There wasn't much but as far as the leaks say he just bitches about the other general and does space battles.

Laura Dern isn’t Asian you underage faggot

>Killing Luke
Fuck Disney Star Wars.

Is there any reason why I shouldn't assume these """"leaks"""" are made up?