STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI Full Spoilers

The First Order attacks the Resistance’s headquarters on D’Quar. Poe disobeys Leia’s orders and leads an assault on General Hux’s star destroyer while the Resistance command flees into hyperspace. Meanwhile, in Ahch-To, Rey finds Luke and wants him to join the Resistance and train her. He refuses, but Rey is determined to persuade him.

Aboard the Supremacy, Supreme Leader Snoke reprimands Kylo Ren for the destruction of Starkiller Base. The First Order tracks the Resistance through hyperspace and Kylo leads a second attack. Leia is presumed dead alongside the other Resistance commanders, but survives. Finn awakens during the battle and attempts to flee, but is stopped by mechanic Rose Tico. Her sister Paige was a pilot and died in the first assault.

Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo takes over the Resistance and reprimands Poe, who doesn’t trust her. The Resistance doesn’t have enough fuel for another hyperspace jump and settles into an abandoned rebel outpost on Crait. Finn and Rose devise a plan to locate the First Order’s hyperspace tracker so they can destroy it. Maz Kanata directs them to the Master Codebreaker for help, who can be found at Canto Bight, but they are arrested for trespassing and befriend a slicer, DJ, who agrees to help them. They escape on stolen horse-like creatures and befriend the stable boy who looks after them.

Rey senses the Force calling her to the cave where Luke keeps the sacred Jedi scrolls. Luke realizes that she is strong with the Force and begrudgingly decides to train her. Rey is connected with Kylo through the Force, and they can communicate telepathically. Rey finds out that Luke attempted to kill Kylo in his sleep when he sensed that Snoke was influencing Kylo. Kylo overpowered Luke and destroyed Luke’s Jedi Academy in a fit of rage.

Other urls found in this thread:

forbes.com/sites/curtissilver/2017/12/12/warning-this-post-contains-spoilers-for-star-wars-the-last-jedi/#76599f0973df
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Rey abandons Luke and leaves to meet Kylo, but he captures her and presents her to Snoke. He reveals that he created their connection in order to manipulate both, but Kylo doesn’t believe it. Snoke is strong with the dark side and orders Kylo to kill Rey, but he instead kills Snoke. Kylo and Rey then fight Snoke’s guards together.

Meanwhile, the First Order is preparing an attack on Crait. DJ helps Finn and Rose infiltrate their ship, but betrays them. Finn and Rose are captured and tortured by Phasma. Before they are executed, Holdo kamikazes the Resistance’s ship into the First Order’s ship. Finn escapes and defeats Phasma in combat. She dies in an explosion.

Finn and Rose steal a ship and reunite with the Resistance. Meanwhile, Kylo seizes command of the First Order. Rey had a vision of him returning to the light, while Kylo had a vision of her falling to the dark. He tries to tempt her by revealing that her parents were random junk traders who sold her off, that she is meaningless to everyone but him and that they can rule the galaxy together, but Rey refuses and escapes in the Millennium Falcon with Chewie.

Back in Ahch-To, Luke is visited by the Force ghost of Yoda, who tells him that Rey is their only hope for a better future and Luke should leave the past behind. Yoda causes a lightning strike that destroys the sacred Jedi scrolls.

Kylo forces Hux to accept his leadership and prepares to destroy the Resistance with a massive cannon. Finn steals a ship and attempts to sacrifice himself to destroy it, but Rose knocks his ship off-course and does it instead. Finn pulls her out of the wreckage, she says she loves him, kisses him and then dies/goes into a coma.

Kylo orders another attack on the base when Luke shows up and repels the First Order. Kylo fights Luke, only to realize he’s an astral projection and that the real Luke is back in Ahch-To. It was all a ruse so Rey could evacuate the few surviving Resistance fighters, including Finn, Poe and Leia, into the Millennium Falcon. They escape.

In Ahch-To, Luke stumbles outside his hut, and dies while watching the sunrise. He vanishes like Yoda did, becoming one with the Force. Rey and Leia sense that he's gone, but went peacefully.

Kylo tries to communicate with Rey. She ignores him.

Poe reassures the survivors that there is still hope. Cut to the stable boy in Canto Bight, who was told about the ideals of the Resistance by Rose, using the Force to call for his broom. A (new) new hope.

Not even going to pirate this movie.

Holy shit. What the Hell were they thinking?

>Allowing force ghosts to interact with the world

oh boy

who's ready for Eagles 2.0

what the hell is this goy trash

Sounds unbelievably bad. I guess we'll see if RLM is bought and paid for by the Mouse since this movie basically just paints a target on itself. That ending sounds so cringeworthy and jarring.

This is fucking bullshit. Fuck Disney and fuck this franchise.

See you in six years.

it's true. all of it.

I'm not even surprised since the force awakens was shit too.

>Luke stumbles outside his hut

I legit read that as him tripping over a rock and fucking dying, lmao

>angry reacts only

...

I'm starting to think that an A.I. was created to write movies and has become self aware, but it can only destroy society via film so it's just pumping out movies that just make you lose faith in civilization's capacity to create anything of social/cultural worth.

Eagles are agents of Manwe, a literal god. They didn't have to do a fucking thing cause their dad was king of the god damn earth.

Get ready for the shitstorm if Luke really dies.

Jesus.
This is one of the worse things I have ever read.
Fuck this garbage. Holy shit.

I'm so damn sorry George.

>Force ghosts
>Cranial Skype phone calls
>Pointless side characters
>Endless quips
>Villain gets killed without any explanation whatsoever

Why the hell would such a great Jedi try to kill his apprentice in his sleep? He's not flipping Palpatine.

Did these people even study the damn characters even just a little bit?

Okay, normally I disagree with all the hate circlejerk Sup Forums does around here with extremely hyped movies... but holy goddamn lord, this sounds fucking abysmal in every way. Even if the dialogue is somehow witty, this is seriously a horrible screenplay. It's like The Empire Strikes Back, but backwards, with some SJW shit thrown in, and ignoring almost everything from The Force Awakens. I seriously am having a hard time this is real. I've read bad fanfiction that's better than this shit.

>a (new) new hope
You can only be a powerful force user if you’re a woman, oppressed, or a minority now

Reylo is literally the only thing to come out of this.

cause he's a white male and the only way they know how to solve problems is to kill people and rape women

At least we get to see a THICC asian qt get blacked. Don't know how that is going to play in China though.

>Old white man unable to teach children due to lack of empathy
>Young Mixer girl takes the mantle, educates the galaxy
Sit down Luke, be humble. I'm with Her now.

Kylo overpowered Luke? what the shit.
Fucking Yoda sucks on Rey's clit now.

you know how i know these spoilers are bullshit?
>Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo
there is no fucking way in hell someone sat through the screening and memorized every minor character's full name. no fucking way in hell.

Is this 100% legit?
Because holy shit if it is then fuuuuuuuuuuck star wars.

Script leaked (subtitle text) user. Along with multiple reviews bashing or outright wording the shitty dialogue. “Chrome dome, lazer sword”

>The Supremacy
Not even trying to be subtle anymore. This is embarrassing.

>Quads

The Force has spoken.

It prolly is.

It actually sounds real because Disney Star Wars characters and planets have similarly retarded names

>Luke attempted to kill Kylo in his sleep
Fuck you Disney. Fuck everyone that gave this piece of shit a positive review. The fuck is wrong with you?

>citation required
can you honestly imagine sitting through a movie like star wars, for the first time, and memorizing every minor character's name? theres no fucking way my dude.

>the broom

So,.....are they going to rip-off Buffy's ending? What a load of croc.

Snoke is dead? Just like that? Why?

These three movies are going to be prequels for another three they will make with Rey turning to the dark side.

They will reboot the entire fucking franchise

forbes.com/sites/curtissilver/2017/12/12/warning-this-post-contains-spoilers-for-star-wars-the-last-jedi/#76599f0973df

forbes of all media outlets also correlates this shit story that disney spat out.

I want to go back.

Rey>Kylo>Luke
How hard to understand?

OP could have simply googled Laura Dern's character's name.

Why does Yoda destroy the scrolls? Does he just tell Luke that "You fucked up kid, I'm burning these before you fuck it up even more"

>Snoke is killed off unceremoniously during the halfway point of the movie
Oh you've got to be shitting me

His toys didn't sell

>forbes.com/sites/curtissilver/2017/12/12/warning-this-post-contains-spoilers-for-star-wars-the-last-jedi/#76599f0973df

>Leia doesn't die. She lives because apparently, she had a space Force field and flies herself back to safety.

pfffftt bahhahahahahahahaaa

So that when people complain about them killing and ruining Luke's character the critics and defenders can go "YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON FROM THE PAST THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FILM"

Forbes user.
>you can’t make this shit up

Apparently due to faith in Rey's abilities and for a quip about how Jedi scrolls weren't exactly "page-turners". Yeah it sounds horrible.

They didn't sell because they though making him look like Goldfinger was a good idea. Jesus..people want to talk about Sony and WB making shit decisions with movies but holy shit Disney shat out a massive turd this time.

He literally tells him it's useless shit and that rey doesn't need anything them or the scrolls. I'm not joking.

He says that the scrolls don't teach anything that Rey doesn't already know. Luke needs to let go of the past and let a new generation carve their own path.

who /already camping out in the theater/ here? so hyped bros

>she’s alive because she filmed more scenes

How do they know she’s not a Force ghost

It's not enough that I don't go see this movie, Disney should lose money.

The past is not important. The present is. Or something like that.

AAAAAAAAAAAA

in the first couple paragraphs the author says that he didn't even see the screening, he was just talking to someone that did. i don't completely buy it.

also this
>Finn gets a new partner and she's a badass (played by Kelly Marie Tran).
BAHAHAHAHHAA

>Luke is visited by the Force ghost of Yoda, who tells him that Rey is their only hope for a better future and Luke should leave the past behind. Yoda causes a lightning strike that destroys the sacred Jedi scrolls.

So the sacred scrolls are a metaphor for the movies and fan-fiction that came before Disney right? Basically, they are saying fuck you fan boys, get over it, the old Star Wars is gone.

The first Star Wars could have ended on Tatooine if Obi Wan had simply looked at the Death Star plans and then sent an astral projection of his asshole right over the exhaust port so he could shit out a force empowered turd straight into the main reactor.

>Luke needs to let go of the past and let a new generation carve their own path.
Just like the OT fags

Pottery.

This is what happens when a studio makes the film and the directors act as puppets. This should have been seen as coming after Lucasfilm has been firing the directors that disagree with them. Sadly this will still make a fortune and Disney will pump out this garbage every year until there is no profit left to be made (which might literally never happen).

>TFA made 2 billion
>Rogue One made only 1 billion by comparison

How much will Last Jedi make? Less than 1 billion?

>it's a we drag out the old characters that you like, shit on their happy ending, beat them up and kill them episode
I don't like this episode at all

Shipperfags need to hang.

>that ending

Is this fucking X-Men or New Avengers? Jesus christ, I can't think of any bad ending shots in a Star Wars film until this. Even TFA, RO, and TPM were ok and not this blatantly awful.

That’s fine but it’s literally Rey dick sucking. There is no denying she’s absolutely Disney’s Mary Sue

>lucas says star wars is about the skywalker lineage
>disney kills off the skywalkers, and makes the new protags actual no name randoms so "anyone" can be the hero
>unironically put in a scene where yoda destroys the old texts (the old movies) and says deal with it faggot

i cant wait to see this film. im going to laugh so fucking hard

It's a nice movie to look at, but plot is so bad

Snoke is a waste of film time. These shitty writers suck. FUCK Disney. Not spending my money on SJW garbage ever again.

In the middle if I had to guess. Solo will do worse than the prequels though.

Great flick.

Bravo, Nolan.

Bravo!

>In Ahch-To, Luke stumbles outside his hut, and dies while watching the sunrise. He vanishes like Yoda did
*breathes in*

I want to have sex with Becky.

>DUDE LET THE PAST DIE FORGET THE OLD SHIT
>continues to make lazy rehashes/spin offs of OT
>The only new thing that's done is to ruin iconic characters and introduce unlikable ones
Disney is soulless and only care about money but they can't be THAT clueless? Right?

700 mil is my guess
disney will panic and bring luke back somehow so plebs get excited for the ep9

but the forbes article says luke dies when he force teleports his body or whatever to fight kylo ren?
so which is it

Drumpf spotted

I can't believe that some people are still in denial about the leaks

>X-Men
That was the first thing I thought, that and Rey being a nobody but is gifted the force anyway it seems like Disney is turning the force into the mutant gene.

I agree about poor design. But the porg design is retarded (what kind of parent would buy their child a toy that is permenently frowning) and those shits are selling like hot cakes.

If you think a little.
Even TFA was a mistake because han solo dies.
To be honest since TFA was announced i was expecting Disney doing the right thing (since after the end of the empire it was going to be The New Jedi Order) buuuuuut
>han solo dies

because they're really dumb and its just surprising disney would do something so retarded

>700 mil
Hahaha look at Rt score,it will be 1.7-2 bil

>It's just a projection, bro.

someone lay out why these things are retarded
i'm not denying they aren't

it just sounds and looks better when it's more than "LMAO DISNEY FINISHED"

*force teleports behind you*

the little kid is black, so yeah

What an unbelievably stupid fucking message. Okay, sounds good. Let's burn all our science and history books. You shouldn't dwell in the past, but you shouldn't entirely abandon it either, because the present is nothing more than an aggregation of the past and when you learn from the mistakes of the past you hopefully don't repeat them. What the fuck is going on in this movie? Why would they make Yoda such a short sighted retard?

JUST

They know exactly what they're doing. They don't give two shits about the 20+ year olds. These movies are meant to hook the youth and that's all they care about. It guarantees future profit because they will line up to see the next trilogy installment the same way fan boys did for Lucas's prequels. Once they dry the well, they'll just buy up another franchise that is ripe for the picking and do the same thing.

tl;dr: thats not how the force works

So what was the fucking point of Yoda telling Luke to pass on what he learned? Rey is already perfect at fucking everything.

But Han at least died a noble death, trying to redeem his dark-side infested son. Very Star Wars. TLJ is nothing but mockery in comparison.

we're gonna crowd-source a real sequel trilogy dont worry. itll only be watchable on Sup Forums via WEBM

You left out the part where luke is breastfed by a sloth.

both
luke uses a force projection to fight kylo (it's basically a force ghost fighting kylo in crait)
luke never leaves ahch-to. After the fight, luke is so tired that he dies