>there are """men""" on this board RIGHT NOW that would rather see some UNMASCULINE peice of OUT OF TOUCH trash like STAR WARS 8 than a RAUNCHY and LITTY Peice of kino like JUMANJI because they're afraid of PISSING SO MUCH from all the LAUGHTER and FUN they will have
Explain yourselves
Hi Dwayne.
How are you going to come back for Get Smart 2, Dwayne?
I haven't laughed from a movie in 10 years. I feel no emotion like fun or laughter.
dont worry mr rock ill see youre movie
star wars is for nerds haha
>can you smell what the rock is cooking
what did he mean by this
I THINK JUMANJI SUCKS
I've heard that Dwayne Johnson enjoys having sexual relations with other men.
Didn't Baywatch flop?
What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little out of touch critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Jumani (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some FUN, dude. RAUNCHY COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Jumanji (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO. GET F***UCKING LITTY!!
I'm not seeing either but jumanji is probs better (but still awful)
>Piss inducer is also piss color
P O T T E R Y
Why are only some words in all caps?
Is Dwayne the biggest corporate stooge in the history of filmmaking? Nobody shills more than this guy.
Who /RAUNCHY/ here? Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.
The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.
My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.
Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.
When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.
10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!
Go suck Vince´s wrinkly cock...
Oh dear god not this again. Dear Mr Johnson, I will see your movie if you promise to not spam this board the way you did for BayWatch.
Lmao what the fuck
IF youre RAUNCHY, REPLY with IM RAUNCHY or YOU WILL NEVER stop PISSING again
Just got back from seeing JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE with my crew. We roll pretty deep and let me tell you, not a dry seat in the house. The piss was intense. Piss dripping out the seats, piss flowing down the aisles, piss in the popcorn. Piss jets in every direction. I actually shit myself three times, I told the door monkey and he was like "Aww here goes" and we fist bumped. It was all a good vibe. Great night out and if you roll with a chill crew and not a bunch of permavirgin goobers then you'll have a wicked sick time. SLAYED.
>Jew-manji
>Jew Wars
Either way the Jew wins
I just saw the new Baywatch movie and I gotta be honest:IT'S LITTY
The comedy is RAUNCHY and great for a RATED R movie. I was alone for some reason,A I guess I'm the only non-critic in my local cinema. The first ever joke in the film made me piss myself out of laughter. The smell of urine was unbearable ,but that didn't stop me from watching it. When Daddario said to the HSM guy that her eyes were "up here",I took a massive shit,that would later take a shit of it's own. The smell of urine and shit apparently got the attention of the staff and they brought in the penis inspector. When he saw the fountain of urine my dick has caused,he rushed to the exit as fast as he could. I guess the penis inspector was just a critic. At the end of the movie,I felt thirsty, I barely had any existing liquid in my body. I drank the 7$ Coke until i threw it up out laughter because of that RAUNCHY RATED R JOKE Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson made! After that movie ended,I ended up in the hospital bed. BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM SEEING THIS #LITTY MOVIE AGAIN!
>door monkey
IM RAUNCHY
#MadAtMort
Wait, wrong thread.
IM RAUNCHY :)
I will NOT watch your movie also stop calling yourself 'the rock'
kek
Nah, overseas made it a success.
What do you guys think of this guy?
IM RAUNCHY
NOT RAUNCHY
NOT LITTY
NOT PISSY
NOT MASCULINE
NOT FUN
Yes rock ! I will urinate in the theater with laughter
Nice pasta
#getlitty
...
Come see JUMANJI in theaters I GURANTEE you will be laughing so hard your underoos will be filled to the brim with PEEPEE. even your SHOES will be soaked in PISS. I willbe PERSONALLY handing out diapers to the audience because I guarantee you will all WET yourselves and if you don't. I WILL eat that PISS soaked diaper. How LIT is that
this but unironically
It's not you. There hasn't been a good comedy since the 90s.
What are some masculine emojis?
I'm a huge Star Wars fan.
Unironically I would rather watch Jumanji because of the hot girl, rather than The Last Jedi which looks incredibly boring and uninteresting.
I have zero desire to follow the adventures of "Kylo" and "Rey" and the other ones.
wtf...telepathic sharks lol
IM RAUNCHY
This is my first /litty/ thread, and man, I never knew what I was missing out on.
Fucking pasta annihilated the SIDES.
>we need Dwayne Johnson but we're out of budget
>I know just the guy
>people bullying /ourguy/ Dave
I have a dual problem of not muh with it being a videogame instead of a board game and also it just feels like it would be better if it was a straight jungle fantasy without the isaki elements but still those same characters.
>we need 15 dollars but all we have is The Rock
>in films for 20+ plus
>not a single good movie
>most people only remember him from that one time he was a scorpion king or as a secondary guy in the vin diesel one last ride franchise
what a pathetic man. I remember when arnold passed the torch to him in that one movie.....what could have been. fucking jumanji? rampage? what a joke.
>raunchy
It's fucking PG-13. How "raunchy" can it be?
that good ol' movie magic...
Solid world-building.
he's definitely gonna be president