THE LAST JEDI GENERAL

Keep all The Last JEDI discussion here.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=3aV6-w-bk00
elpais.com/cultura/2017/12/12/actualidad/1513085969_936689.html
youtube.com/watch?v=8DwgitMGbp8
twitter.com/AnonBabble

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So many elements in Episode VIII are recycled that it could have been called Rerun of the Jedi.
-Kyle Smith
NATIONAL REVIEW

youtube.com/watch?v=3aV6-w-bk00

> see ya around, fucko

For those hoping that there may have been a substantial uptick in quality between J.J. Abrams's The Force Awakens and Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi-in much the same way that The Empire Strikes Back improved on Star Wars-you may need a new hope.
-Sam Mac
SLANT MAGAZINE

i have lots of upside-down clips with sound from the reddit torrent. where should i upload?

For those hoping that there may have been a substantial uptick in quality between J.J. Abrams's The Force Awakens and Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi-in much the same way that The Empire Strikes Back improved on Star Wars-you may need a new hope.
-Donald Clark
IRISH TIMES

Fuck books

irish banter cuts straight to the point

A question for anyone that's gone to one of these premieres

I have tickets for the first showing tomorrow (the film version).

How early should I get there?

>Listen
>My audio sensors are not detecting anything
>Exactly

PORG 4 LIFE

Thank fuck

That's a lot of movie. Like a LOT of movie. So much movie, I think my engorged eyeballs had to stick a finger down their throats and vomit out a couple of epic battle scenes just so they could get through the finale.
-Ray Greene
CINEGODS.COM

Before you mother was born so you can kill herself

We have a new worst film of the franchise.

Errrmm.... ok, this is not good or new, but Yoda's lightsaber duels were far more retarded than this. Eps. I and II were worse than this.

Luke's character was butchered and it is the worst aspect of TLJ. The rest is the normal SW fanfarre shit, with last-second-saving scenes, boring excessive battles and shallowness, nothing new.

I want to see Leia flying through space, plz someone leak that clip

Is there any pirated version? I want too see it but I ain't gonna pay my shekels to Disney seeing some of what it's posted.

It soars and sinks, shrewdly building on franchise lore while scoring cheap shots against capitalism. Frustrating it is, hmmm?
-Christian Toto

where is le torrent?

The movie comes off as a work that's ironed out, flattened down, appallingly purified.
-Richard Brody
THE NEW YORKER

The whole 30mins+ of the Black guy and Chinese woman on that planet were literally just to force their ugly ass romance and to promote some anti-classist agenda. What they do literally comes to nothing. Nothing at all. Benicio Del Toro betrays them and that's it. At least he's an interesting character, somewhat. What a fucking joke.

>photoshopped a fake pin
lol nice try loser

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING
I'M IN CHARGE HERE

Falsely epic, uselessly lyrical.
-Carlos Boyero

WHERE IS LEIA SUPERMAN

Also, why do technologies in the Star Wars universe continue to be so patchy and inconsistent? If warp driving a ship through a fleet is so powerful, why wasn't that their first plan? Why don't they have whole kamikaze fleets? It's so ridiculously stupid.

1. The Last Jedi
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Star Wars
4. The Force Awakens
5. Return of the Jedi
6. Revenge of the Sith
7. Rogue One
8. The Phantom Menace
9. Attack of the Clones

This is not even up for debate.

if its so long then how come so little actually happened in the movie?

Rey has stolen the books. Yoda didn't want Luke to know, that's why he intervened m8.

i aggree

>TFA
>carbon copy ANH
>that high

Fuck off

>faking a sticky
>impersonating a mod

You dun goofed

dat fake sticky

LMAO

The movie was surprisingly fucking great, maybe a bit long at places, the casino felt like something from a different film.

I love this meme.

are you ready....

no...
i said....
AREEE YOUUU REAADDDYYY

then...
for the thousands in this thread and for the millions posting at home...

oooooooh

lets get ready to SUCK ITTTT

Why do they keep resetting the state of affairs with the Empire and the Resistance?
>Star Wars Ep. VI - Empire in ruins, what remains makes their escape. Resistance victorious.
>40 years pass - Ep VII, First Order literally STRONGER than the empire ever was. Resistance somehow still weak and in shambles instead of being an actual government with an army and shit.
>Starkiller Base, that the First Order worked on for years and which housed thousands of troops and ships gets destroyed.
>Ep. VIII, everything resets. First Order strong again. Resistance weak.

I made that point in another thread.

There should be a term for this sort of thing. It's previously been known as the "Why don't they just beam a torpedo onto the enemy bridge" paradox.

As soon as you introduce some gamebreaking thing your characters can do in a book/movie/tv series, then all of a sudden everyone's going to wonder why the fuck they haven't been doing it the entire time.

Star Wars used to have at least SOME ground rules. Now there are NO ground rules. It's officially in Marvel Super Hero land when it comes to the Force in particular. ANYTHING is possible. It's gone from Low Fantasy limited magic to High Fantasy unlimited magic.

(You)

I unironically enjoyed Justice League more than this film. That's how shitty it is.

Just saw it.
Its better than TFA, but Rey is still the least interesting character.
I liked the casino tough, its a setting we've never seen before.

yoda didnt destroy the books, just the tree. he was fucking with luke to get him off his ass. its still incredibly stupid that luke is a lameass weirdo but yoda was still being in character. he just likes fucking with the skywalkers

Italian reviewers are sinking this movie.
Thankfully Disney doesn't have italian critics on its payroll.
3.5/5 is literally the best score here.

Snoke actually looked pretty cool, but of course they kill him off halfway through without developing him at all. I was sort of looking forward to seeing this, but after seeing those meme scenes of luke doing the limbo under the lightsaber, leia being superman, yoda looking like a high puppet, and hearing how luke dies i will probably just torrent it. what a fuck up. I unironically want george back.

LOL

where do i upload clips with sound? they are way too big for /wsg/

"They took my cellphone and frisked me when I came out of the toilet."
Carlos Boyero

Best review you're gonna read, pals (in Spanish):

elpais.com/cultura/2017/12/12/actualidad/1513085969_936689.html

The only way they can salvage this trilogy is to have Rey die for Kylo, which in turn fully brings him to the light

Can we get a new ship? Seriously tired of the Falcon

The casino was okay as a concept, however:
-another empty planet with one single building complex, still better than the Maz cantina.
-the casino felt very real worldy rather than Star Wars. Why would hundreds of different alien species all wear different shades of black and white tuxedos? Lucas got the galactic diversity right, as in the opera scenes.
-a fucking casino for the biggest big shots of the galaxy and their call girls, but not. A. Single. Twilek. Why bother throwing in aliens at all?

Two people died. I’m glad there was no interracial cuck-kiss. I wish that Chinese girl died. Why was the movie 3 hours? Why was the one part of the movie that could have been done like a mission straight out of Metal Gear Solid 5 done like something i’d expect to see in Stuart Little? Why is Leia still alive? She’s a fucking CORPSE. I wanna have sex with Rey.

Better, have Kylo start some "knights of Ren" bullshit and then have him completely defeat Rey in a battle, then Rey dies for Kylo in some romantic fashion turning Kylo good and making him turn into what Luke was suppose to be

Normies would complain how it doesn't feel like Star Wars if it had no Millennium Falcon

exactly. say what you want about the prequals but at least they were inventive with ships and stuff.

>94% on Rotten Tomatoes
>tons of 5/5 reviews
How? Why are people recommending this shit?

>throw a lightsaber
>it doesn't spin
>it just moves like it's on a fucking rail

My god, how fucking talentless can you be?

So why didn't Anakin ever show up as a Force Ghost to tell Kylo to stop trying to be him?

>My punished bladder and kidneys call me to visit the perfumed toilette in the middle of projection (it is unforgivably long, about 150 minutes) and when I return to the room they check my body again, in case there was a spy in the bathroom.

hack writers

She isn't throwing it. Snoke had the lightsaber positioned next to him. She ignited it and pulled it to her, cutting snake in half.

Probs Snoke, he was controlling his mind to the point that he could remotely connect him with Rey, soo...

Exactly.

How can the Rebels be the underdog when they probably have a kill ratio of 10,000 to 1 when you factor in the first death star, second death star, super star destroyer, starkiller base, etc.

Furthermore, the leadership of the Empire has been gutted in almost every movie.

The Rebels have yet to lose one single commanding officer or general. Meanwhile Tarkin dies, Vader dies, captain of the executor dies, Palpatine dies, Snoke dies.

Right, it would be one thing if it was like Russia Vs Finland and the Rebels achieved an astonishing kill ratio against enemy troops, but failed to really damage the enemies war fighting capability and eventually had to give up territory despite heroic defense.

The Rebels take the fight TO the Empire. And every time they do, they win. They destroy flagships. Moon sized space stations. ENTIRE PLANETS TURNED INTO SUPERWEAPONS.

But SOMEHOW they're still the underdog freedom fighters and the Empire is the implacable foe.

It's so fucking half assed.

It would have been better if after ROTJ the plot was something like.

>The Rebels are victorious and restore the Republic. They build a new Death Star to rid the galaxy of the Empire once and for all, dubbing it the Hope Star. It doubles as a Jedi Academy. Meanwhile a ragtag gang of elite terrorists loyal to the Empire concoct a daring raid to destroy it, succeeding and leaving the Republic unsure of how to defend against a growing menace that strikes from the shadows.

Basically turn the tables. It might be retarded but it's not as retarded as what they actually gave us.

Why is it implied that the chocobos won´t be captured and raced with again literally 30mins later? I mean Finn and Rose travelled for a few mins then let them go

>galaxy is trapped in cyclical bullshit conflict between light and dark
>Kylo kills Snoke (terrible scene in many ways but whatever), and pledges to destroy the Skywalker name, first order, resistance, republic, jedi, sith, everything, to break the chain
>spares Rey's life, asks her to join him because she's powerful but a nobody with no grand destiny afterall her parents were just selfish drunks who have long since died
>fucking stupid cunt refuses him
The Snoke scene is fucking retarded but okay... the underlying little nugget of this premise that I'm gleaning, which is hardly even really focused on all that much really, actually seems like it would be vaguely good in capable, unkiked hands

Kylo Ren did nothing wrong

I’m expecting those kids to be the Rebel’s child soldiers in the next film. There should be a scene where they raid the fuck out of a First Order base camp.

What a fucking lame death

Because they hadn't decided beforehand to hate the movie just to appear cool on a taiwanese hentai forum.

All the force ghosts were too busy playing practical jokes and spying on naked women

Sheev joined in as ratinho seagate

>Disney
>Not giving COMPED sushi for good reviews

Lmao oh my god. This is too much

On a scale from Seinfeld to Weinstein, how jew'd is the movie?

V > IV > III >= VI > VII > VIII > I > II
I'd put VI above III but that jabba and endor stuff is embarrassing

Green milk
Luke milking a teat with green milk
Then drinking the green milk
I still can’t believe this

>yoda was still being in character.
Kill yourself

The Resistance is not the New Republic.

The New Republic only wants peace.

The Mouse has got nothing on Don Corleone I see.

SPOILER FREE IF ANYONE CARES
Just got back from the kinotorium. TLJ is unironically one of, if not the very best Star Wars movie.
There are two major themes running through it: letting go of the past and defying expectations. Letting go of the past, as in saying goodbye to the old favorites, and making the new characters take center stage. Honest to god, I didn't care about Rey, Finn or Poe after TFA, but I loved them by the end of this.
And defying expectations, as in putting twists and turns in the story. I can't say that you won't see the plot twists coming, but those are a lot better than in an average blockbuster. I wonder if Abrams is salty that Johnson shaped his ideas so much?
I wouldn't call TLJ a deconstruction, though it comes close. Felt very much like Kotor 2, interpreting the mythos in a different way (Luke has shades of Kreia). The humor was also great, measured gracefully and in the adequate places, Marvel could learn a LOT from this one.
The acting is superb, Del Toro, Dern and Tran all brought something to the table.
And there is a silent space battle scene towards the end which left the audience breathless. I could literally hear jaws hitting the floor.

>not hating the movie when reading the terrible leaked script
Literally no excuse to like or want to see this garbage.

>And there is a silent space battle scene towards the end which left the audience breathless. I could literally hear jaws hitting the floor.

Super granny?

Or a home alone trap scene protecting themselves from the clumsy first order bandits

...

...

>unsure of how to defend against a growing menace that strikes from the shadows.
love it, but many would have made parallelism with terrorism
so, accuse of islamophobia
Or just utter contempt fo the audience. More probable, and justifiable.

Probably the closest thing we'll get to a plinkett review right now
youtube.com/watch?v=8DwgitMGbp8

Can you please post more negative reviews? I am tired or the shills.

That ending scene was so fucking cringeworthy jesus christ I hated this piece of shit

Sup Forums are faggots and they need to be deleted

Yeah right and the movie with the one of the best sequence of the entire trilogy (throne scene and fight) is bellow III.

Please...

>shills claiming that lukes attempt to kill kylo wasn't OOC and somehow didn't go against RotJ because apparently his redeeming vader "didn't work"
The absolute state of mousecucks

Episode I is actually comfy though, maybe not good, but more watchable than vii or viii

...

Fucking kek. Nothing matters, it's a shit show of epic proportion and they got rid of the villain they should have had as the main villain of the sequel.

Then stop going over there you crossboarding faggot

The problem is not the death is the lack of buildup.
We barely knew him.
BTW, this is exactly the criticism pleb letter media made to Maul in Ep I.
I am curious to hear the mental gymnastic they will use to praise this shit

>negative reviews
I've been posting what I can find
Clearly the mouse is stifling many

>The Empire Strikes Back improved on Star Wars
But this is not true at all. Star Wars was the better film. Fuck outta here with that "I am your father" soap opera shit.

Nope, Kylo did and passed the saber to her.

>AT-AT gets taken down by ingeniously laid traps