ITS HABBENING

THE NEGATIVE REVIEWS ARE COMING IN

DISNEY BTFO

HOW WILL NUWARS EVER RECOVER?

wow they retroactively made the old movies bad!

>people saw tfa
>thought tlj would be better
Lol dummies.

Holly shit, Disney lost one autist, how will they ever recover?

is it, dare i say, our movie?

cant wait for shit to settle and everyone to realize this was some toxic male kino

>Porgs are cool. The Last Jedi is not.

BASED Porgs.

As a rule I don't give much weight on any review where someone claims raped or destroyed childhood. Hyberboles like that are a mark of someone putting too much emotion into things. Far beyond what is healthy.

All these adjectives.

oh no a butthurt EU fag who wanted Luke to be some glorified DBZ Jedi

Is Rey being super saiyan better?

Most people are focusing on Snoke and Superleia forgetting about the franchise killing corporeal Ghost/projecting Force shit.

Super Saiyan? At this point she's Ultra Instinct x1000

>some autist complaining about star wars by making a negative review...again

oh no how will Lucasfilm ever recover

kys faggot. Nobody cares what you think about the star wars movie. You will see be there for opening night episode 9. Thanks for the shekels goy.

Only one review matters.

That's what the prequels did to the original trilogy. This has been happening for 20 years now.

>George Lucas is kicking himself
Ummm, no sweetie. He sold his rights for Disney stock. Disney is going to be worth a trillion dollars in 2030. George is going to buy himself a private planet.

what why is Kylo, Rian's self insert? He didn't even make the character originally right?

>i have loved SW since i was in diapers....LITERALLY MY LIFE IS RUINED AFTER LUKE DIED A VIRGIN HASBEEN IM GONNA KILLMASELF

Its bettet than ESB...dummie.

How is this a review

>muh childhood

umm no sweetie reddit still loves it

TFA at least left some unknowns despite being a shot for shot remake of ANH and the insulting character that is Rey. This one offers retarded answers to some of those unknowns and just flat out forgets the rest. Add in the ruining Luke and doubling down on the Mary Sue shit and I have the worst movie since the retarded prequels.

>reddit
>no signs of cancer

the Sup Forumsposter dropped his copy of Despecialized ESB and stormed out of the room, crying those OTfag tears

>Pensacolacomputer

Typical soyim screen name and not one of us, this is bad for Didney.

This is how E;R looks in real life ?!

Don't worry, your average mouth breathing Star Wars fanboy will defend this piece of shit to their last breath.

Fucking this. Being a badass force-user no longer requires dedication or training, it only requires bad writing.

it was garbage.
i want to be serious without exaggeration:
it is WATCHABLE but very forgettable and some stuff is really not good.

a) the initial joke with poe (bollywoodguy) pretending to not hear that FO bridge guy was out of place. it was at best mildly amusing, but just does not fit star wars (IMO) but it definetly took away tension that would have upped the movies quality.

furthermore the sequence following this is veeeery strange, because by using this talk between opposing forces to actually attack your enemy would result in a war without rules as you broke an important one yourself.

also this sequence already shows what is apparent throughout all FO scenes:
the acting is very over the top and just seems comical. they seem like cardboard templates taken from the "WE ARE EVIL GUYS" set.

very bad.

now something follows which only mildly annoyed me and does not necessarily decrease the movies quality. we see plenty of x wings with resistance pilots showing people of different ethnicities (usually refered to as POC) and sexes. it annoyed me because - at least with social media/disney knowledge - it shoehorned the WE ARE DIVERSITY "agenda". The women (IMO) did not even fit into the war scenario lookwise. they just seemed to be your everyday civilian from their demeanor..

leia is bad in this movie IMO and superman leia is actually in the movie bahahah. carrie fisher again has not much to do and nobody knows why people "believe in princess leia".

while im at it:
the replacement of leia, while she was recovering from the initial attack, was a HORRIBLE actress. also a horrible character as you wonder how that woman is supposed to be taken seriously by others. but it seemed like the audience is supposed to like her at least to some degree, but she is absolutely unlikeable and very arrogant.

cont.

at some point in the beginning leia slaps bollywoodguy (Poe) in the face. i was taken aback. disney apparently thinks its ok to slap man but also thinks women cannot put man in their place within a hierarchy without resorting to violence. very surprising seeing disney taking this stance seeing their usual social justice approach.

what follows is the main part of the movie:
the first order is chasing the resistance's ships (terrible names for the factions btw) throughout space and for some reason cannot get closer than some kilometeres. I did not understand why because apparently they are absolutely equally fast (else the distance would chance) and also cannot jump into hyper drive for a split second to close in on the resistance.

whatever. Finn eventually tries to abandon the resistance but is stopped by some vietnamese girl, which btw is acting horribly and also has facial gestures like she was in a disney tv show. for some reason she falls in love with Finn WHICH HAS ABSOLUTELY NO BUILDUP WHATSOEVER.

lol.

Finn and Vietnamesegirl spend most of the movie trying to find a so called codebreaker which is supposed to infiltrate the FO ships chasing the resistance to do basically sabotage them in a way that would allow the resistance ships to flee. all of this feels very rushed and has no tension at all. They introduce a Casino at which they find the Codebreaker (benicio del toro) but instead of using the setting it feels skimmed through just to get to the next plot point.

meanwhile rey is with luke trying to convince him to return to the resistance which he does not want to for some jedi nonsense reason. after seeing leias transmission from SW ANH he has a change of heart to at least give rey three lessons who ultimately are of almost no relevance for the movie lol the whole luke/rey scenes were ultimately pointless except for rey finding out that luke - for a second - intended to kill kylo ren for "his inner dark" while teaching him years ago.

luke is of very low importance despite him being hyped in TFA. all he does is force project himself onto another planet (the salt planet) to stall kylo ren who doesnt realize that it isnt the real luke. luke does not fight a single time. he dodges like two moves and then vanishes after alittle bit of talk. his entrance near the end to assist the resistance also wasnt that good. it could have been way better. i dont know who thought it was bad ass.


but back to the the FO chasing the resistance with their ships. it is resolved by the leia replacement lady using one of the resistance ships to hit the FO AND ABSOLUTELY BTFO the FO ships. thats the 10 seconds of silence. but i didnt care for her sacrifice. i dont think anyone would/will. the character was simply not fleshed out enough. bad writting there. but the collision of the ships looked good, i dont want to lie. shortly before the collision finn/vietnamesegirl/codebreaker sneaked onto snokes ship to try their little sabotage i mentioned earlier. funny enough that it ACTUALLY fails. their whole subplot is pointless that way. right before they are supposed to be executed the resistance ship hits the FO fleet and everything is getting blown up allowing Finn and the others to escape but not without finn having a brief one on one with phasma, the worst character EVER i guess. after ~20 seconds of battle phasma dies by falling down into a deep hole on fire. terrible and pointless scene. why even introduce phasma in the first place if you finish her off like that?

cont.

>your average mouse cocksucker
ftfy

now i want to get to my final point: Snoke.
what is his point? i dont think anyone will defend his death. the only good thing about snoke is his voice which sounded awesome. but else he has/had absolutely no point. but IMO this makes it clear that this is not a sequel despite its name but rather a reboot. Snoke does not get any background story at all and is killed by kylo ren with some sneaky lightsaber attack while he tortures rey who snoke tried to convert to the dark side (by showing her the demise of the resistance fleet). this smells and looks alot like a copy of the throne room scene in return of the jedi and i dont think thats a coincidence. but it is also rushed as rey is way too quick to denounce never to join the dark side where luke in return of the jedi actually showed hesistance and anger before realizing this to the wrong way. and snoke is WAY to quick to give up on rey. BABAHAHAHAHAHA that scene really was bad.

IMO the movie is at best a 5/10 which to me is watchable but extremly forgettable with terrible acting and a plot going almost nowhere.

>disney apparently thinks its ok to slap man
How can she slap ?!

It's empowering to see physical violence against men for them.

Man this sounds like fucking dogshit. How did that lady crashing into the fleet destroy it? was her ship really big? isn't the supremacy 60km wide? how would crashing into it destroy their entire fleet?

>toxic male kino
Is it tho? It looks like it was custom made to piss off the """"""white male"""""". Let's look at the male characters:

>Poe: Talented but doesn't know right from wrong and has to be told the difference by a woman or women
>Finn: A cowardly janitor who now gets a chance to do something selfless only to get slapped down by his girlfriend
>Hux: Space Hitler. Also Moe for some reason
>Betrayer Del Toro: Yeah, that
>Admiral Ackbar: Should've been in the running for leader or at least commander of the Rebellion Armada given his position, experience and track record in the biggest battle of that universe but no. The boss is Leia and the 2nd in command is some random chick with pink hair. Also, he ded
>Chewbacca: Is apparently not in this film. Wasn't bad enough he didn't get a medal or that he got snubbed by his 2nd best friend in favor of some random chick when his best friend died or that they gave away his shipped and forced him to tag along with the girl he met yesterday without even asking his opinion; apparently his role is limited to killing those sealpenguins for comedic effect.
>Snoke: Space Hitler's boss. So Hitler^2, presumably. Extremely powerful with the force and capable of reading force user's minds except when they're using their minds to turn on lightsabers that are pointed in his general direction
>Kylo Ren: Incompetent, whiny, edgy Vader. "There's light in him" which is why he kills Hitler^2. And then goes and becomes Hitler^2 himself. Whiny, edgy Hitler^2
>LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER: Basically a basement dwelling robot. He lives on an island sucking off the teat of his mo- I mean some random animal, where dreams of being a hero when he's actually a fuck-up who lets his friends die, who created the new Hitler^2 and who gets shown up by a random chick and a ghost muppet who burns all his gam- I mean books. BUT THEN he gets his big mo- oh wait, he's just a glorified distraction. And then he dies

THE FORCE IS FEMALE, SHITLORD

>How did that lady crashing into the fleet destroy it? was her ship really big? isn't the supremacy 60km wide? how would crashing into it destroy their entire fleet?
she used one of the big ships to crash it into snokes ship but for some reason it cut right through it and also hit most (or all, im not sure) of the other ships the FO had with them. it REALLY cuts through the ships around snokes destroyed, dont ask me why. looked like she took snoke's ship + 4-8 destroyers with her. it looked pretty unconvincing.

>there are literally some negative reviews from basement dweller manchilds
>disney BTFO

lol kys faggot

oh and no in comparison her ship isnt that big. its at best almost as big as a star destroyer but even that is stretching it as the large ships of the rebels were always smaller than the large ships of the empire

>sequels and spin offs are so bad people are starting to praise the prequels

jesus christ you would think disney would have hired some legit SW autists to make sense of the universe and EU to write up a storyline that would have pleased everyone

addendum:
also after the movie you still have no clue why the FO exists and why the resistance exists. no idea how they got from RotJ to this point storywise. this plus snoke having no backstory and luke dying makes me think this is supposed to be a reboot and not a sequel.

>review doesn't bring a single real argument and only consists out of "MUH CHILDHOOD RUINED IT'S SHIT"

Was this written by Sup Forums?

DAS RITE!

And now the women:

>Rey: IS THE BEST. AROUND. NOTHING GONNA EVER KEEP HER DOWN
>Rose: A nobody that apparently knows how to fly ships and dispense old chinese wisdom
>Rose's sister: Grorious suicide bomber
>Maz: Knows everyone and everything
>Pink chick: Even MORE GRORIOUS suicide bomber. Absorute herro
>Phasma: Is the only stormtrooper that doesn't go down in one shot
>Leia: Has ascended to spaceship-hood through her meticulous study of hair-buns and gold bikinis

>implying the praise is any better

I just got back from seeing this movie. I'm so glad that I didn't pay for it.

Here's what I have to say:
* the action is too long, too noisy, too incoherent, too littered with jumps in continuity, and just too dumb
* it needed to slow down. It needed time for compelling exposition, instead of e.g. Luke and Rey's dialogue basically being fucking Linkin Park lyrics
* the characters are dumb
* everything about every action sequence is dumb (why are they in trenches? why don't they just bomb the place? why aren't there any "light speed" weapons when that's clearly revealed to be by far the most effective weapon?)
* the robots all are *really* annoying and shoehorned in
* they have leia miraculously save herself from space, even though she has literally no point after that point; why?

another:
* none of the resistance seems to know what they're fighting for; is it a republic? democracy? freedom? the force? who knows?! the resistance certainly doesn't

This actually makes me want to see the new SW

Tbh I wa hoping Luke died long ago, that way they have an excuse as to why he left his old friend Han to die. I remember when Han went back to save Luke when he could have gone and paid his debt to Jabba, or that time he saved Luke from freezing to death. He was a good friend , but Luke in tfa did jackshit to save him.

maybe against tyranny