>opens with a Marvel quip
>entire fleet plot rips off Battlestar Galactica
>factually contains the single worst scene in any piece of Star Wars medium with Lea flying through space
>horrendous greenscreen
>HAHA PORGS FUNNY PORGS RIGHT? HAHA
>butthole eyes plays Laserquest while telling of some secret codebreaker
>Force skype calling
>Luke acts nothing like his actual character and tries to murder a young boy and his best friend and sister's son because he SCARY POWAHFUL
>hey let's get fucking Benicio Del Toro to act as a literal who and don't explain shit
>Snoke is the most anti-climactic villain ever conceived and dies before doing anything of relevance
>what's that, you wants some cool lightsaber fights in your Star Wars movie? No fuck YOU, have more shitty space battles with no creativity
>Rey is a literally nobody
>MORE MARVEL QUIPS HAHA
>Poe is retarded
>asian chick is disgusting
>somehow Rey has had 3 days training yet can shit on the strongest sith lord in the galaxies elite melee guardsmen
>Kylo Ren still acts like a gigantic fucking faggot for no reason
>let's give Luke a huge badass scene at the end of the movie where he can destroy walkers and shit- oh wait nah he's just skype calling Kylo Ren from across the galaxy and using Matrix moves in his ghost form lol
>let's kill Luke for no reason
Opens with a Marvel quip
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Stay mad faggot. No one cares about the opinions of a basement dweller.
so it's treason then
Big if true.
I'd say those quips were WORSE that Marvel, it was ASM2 "Sony is desperate"-levels bad.
Also, if ships can just hyperspeed and destroy the ones x100 their size you'd think they'd use that technology for weapons, but i guess NAH let's just fire lazers at each other.
And what's with all the fucking suicide bombings in these movies now? There's one in Rogue One, there's 2 in this and even more attempted ones
ahcuhyllt snoe is not sith lawd!
Why have I not seen a single person on here mention the outrageously out of place iron joke? The audience fucking burst out laughing and all I could think was how inappropriate it is for a "Star Wars" film.
I honestly can't even remember it there were so many shit """jokes""" in this movie.
>entire fleet plot rips off Battlestar Galactica
Dude, the speech at the beginning of the fleet plot!! I swear that's almost the same as in the start of the BG series. "we are X in Y ships, spark bla bla, etc"
Working atm, can someone confirm?
yeah I can't remember the exact lines but I swear to fuck the plot and the lines were ripped almost directly from BSG
At one point it showed what looked like a ship landing from below with steam shooting out of the bottom. It then zoomed out and revealed it to be an iron being used by a droid to iron an Imperial uniform. I could not believe my fucking eyes. Apparently Star Wars is now a comedy/sci-fi
All these threads just made me excited to see it. Seems to be a monumental fuck up so big not even the resident mouse shills can contain it.
This desu. OP probably voted for trump
underrated/10
that sounds litty, maybe this movie wasnt made for you
Lel my prediction that Disney would Marxist this one to death was right, but those "fight" scenes?? Ahahahahahha
Give it to me straight Sup Forums, did they really kill Luke? If they killed him after already killing Han I'm done with Star Wars.
I don´t think the movie is complete shit, but this greentext is hilarious
IT IS CHEETO DUST
He's obviously nazi.
Or Japan revanchist.
He died of exhaustion, or a force induced heart attack, or old age, or he's at peace or some shit. I don't fucking know! So much shit was not fucking explained! They don't have to paint us a fucking picture but at least explain why someone died!
My fucking sides. Can’t believe it’s true. All of it
They did
And not even like han, not doing something needed or even daring
Id get it if he came to try and stop ren once and for all and failed
Id get it if he stayed holding off the army and dying in the end
Id get it if he force fought ren and ren killed him mentally in a battle of will
He projects himself as a hologram, completely safe from harm, shittalks ren and dies
He didn't even die of some exhaustion due to fighting dark side
He falls from his altar, struggles and goes back to hus position again and fucking dissapears for no reason
They made him see that he's useful and can do shit, THEN made him suicide
That's terrible. Why would they do something like that?
Too expensive for next part
Carrie survives tho despite having two great ways to go, because she's free now
Yeah... up to that point I was enjoying parts of the movie, but killing him off like that fucked it all up.
>Luke acts nothing like his actual character
Not even defending any Disney shit but this is easily the stupidest meme yet. 30 years can do a lot to a person.
You're fucking with very serious people, Sup Forums.
There is no escape! Don't make me destroy you. Repeat it with me, and I will complete your taste!
>I swear to Infinite Force this sacred oath that to the Creator of the New Trilogy and Canon, J. J. Abrams, Supreme Director of the first and third films, I shall render unconditional obedience and that as a brave viewer I shall at all times be prepared to give my money for any Disney movie."
It supposed to be a call back to Ben Kenobi because of the same lines as the Disney shills like to scream, but it's fucking hot garbage
30 years or not nothing that's stated to have happened justifies it. Just handwaving it with "lol it was a long time don't gotta explain shit" doesn't make it not bad writing.
>And what's with all the fucking suicide bombings in these movies now? There's one in Rogue One, there's 2 in this and even more attempted ones
Are you being racist towards the inclusion of Muslim culture in Star Wars?
>HAHA PORGS FUNNY PORGS RIGHT? HAHA
i laughed at the one scene where one of the porgs was stomping on the lightsabers on switch while the other was looking into the barrel
rest of this is correct though
>Just handwaving it with "lol it was a long time don't gotta explain shit" doesn't make it not bad writing.
Fucking this.
Legitimately the absolute most unforgivable part of the film for me. Why on earth they did it was all I could think about the rest of the night.
Did JJ have any input in writing this? Or did the new guy just get a blank cheque and then the next guy has to pick up where this calamity left off and try to salvage something?
New SW movie should looks like this:
youtu.be
Wait, what?
Now that I think about it, I can't remember how the movie opened.
Holy fuck I'm a brainlet.
Someone remind me.
Does anyone have the porg twitter screencap? You know which one
>Force Skype Calling
why didnt the first order just send some of its ships into hyperspace to intercept the rebel fleet
The original star wars suicide bomber
He tried to kill Kylo as a kid so Kylo killed him in the end of the movie. That was the big plot twist. Luke had turned to the dark side for a fleeting moment.
This, he's not a retard
Of course 30 years can do a lot to a person. But when writing a good story, you can't just have things happen for no reason, or your readers/audience won't buy it.
This trailer almost made me actually attempt to play that game, thats how good it is
but he didn't even do it intentional. He lost control of his ship and did it by accident.
It was brilliant and you know it
hes right though
Which one?
I want sheev back
I actually love the suicide bombing aspect although haven't seen this movie. There was a real life idea for a warp drive, that later got found out by some Aussie scientists that it would literally explode planets if you go out of warp-drive
Which means that hyperspace/warp travel is literally the ultimate WMD, there's no point in space weaponry or fighters, just have a warp-capable android ship fly into them and kill them all