>what you got for us kid?
>well this guy's got no job, no college degree, no wife, no kids, no car or house in his name, no gym membership, no driver's license...
>Jesus boss, that guy's a fucking ghost!
What you got for us kid?
>no Snapchat, no Instagram, no Twitter! Has a Facebook but has never posted ANYTHING; only has family and extended family as friends there. Damn, this guy's good!
...
Hey I don't have any of those....
Shit.
I removed everyone from facebook xd.
>Theres more boss he is also supposed to live in his parents basement
>So?
>We've monitored their house for over 2 months now and he hasn't left not once
Now you just need to burn off your fingerprints and you're ready to be an international spy
>...and his gf record is squeaky clean. Its like he never even existed
>Dammit. Alright, what about his penis inspection report?
>no driver's license
underage b&
>so what have you got on this suspect?
>he's got no Facebook. No SnapChat. No Twitter...
>are you serious?
>Now normally I would give up at this point, but I stumbled on something...
>yes?
>look here, his email matches an account on something called SomethingAwful, an old web forum.
>a web forum, what is that?
>It's something pedofiles used to use back in the dark ages of the web, before Facebook existed
>...before Facebook? Get your gear ready let's nab this creep. You just can't trust men without social media. Bastards every one.
That's actually me. All of it.
Even having a facebook..
>these records don't show a single kiss or even a handhold. Thirty years on the job rookie, and ive never seen something like this
>made a Facebook when I was younger and posted dumb cringe inducing shit on it
>Deactivated it
>Every couple of years I get an email from Facebook saying WELCOME BACK as they reactivate it for no reason
Panic attacks.
Just delete it.
you literally cannot fully delete a facebook account
Get banned.
I was in similar situation when kid only instead of deactivating it i got banned and i never had a fb somce
How do I get banned?
>If I didn't know any better I'd assume this guy has no friends, no family, and no significant other.
>How was he able to hide all of that
>I-i don't know sir, I've never seen anything like this in my life
Post swastika or trump or smth "offensive"