>This episode’s sameness might be reassuring to legions of the faithful, but had Star Wars not already dulled their appreciation of visual and kinetic fantasy (by congratulating their taste for humdrum sci-fi, cute robots, and outré creatures), they might instinctively realize that Johnson’s two best-looking sequences are not imaginative enough. Luke’s confrontation with Kylo on the red-salt tarmac only hints at the shock of bloodshed, and the centerpiece skirmish between Supreme Leader, Kylo, and Rey — the film’s visual highpoint — features only rote gymnastics. You cannot have seen any Chinese martial arts or Zack Snyder movies if you are impressed by this. Johnson’s backdrop — before the scenery goes up in flames — is a stunning red cyc wall that goes up in flames, revealing nothing. Psyche.
This episode’s sameness might be reassuring to legions of the faithful...
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Done it again.
The Shape of Water review is even better. Hits all the classics.
BASED
the only critic worth reading
yeah boys, im thinking hes back
SO
FUCKING
BASED
idk who this smiling nigger is, but if he's comparing the action in TLJ unfavorably to Snyder films it must be awful
The king of Sup Forums has spoken.
>idk who this smiling nigger is
>having reddit images saved to your HD just so you can demonstrate how NOT from reddit you are
I was hoping back in 2012 that the reddit boogeyman would go away soon but no, here we are five years later and everyone still spams about reddit and uses the word 'le' whenever they want to be ironic... fuck this place basically
...
>idk who this smiling nigger is
Great. Where the fuck are you from? Just go sit at the back and don't talk for a few more months.
I was hoping back in 2012 that reddit would go away.
But here we are.
thank you armond. the only review that matters
literally who?
>armond white
>not review screw
DROPPED
>based negro armand praising zack snyder
i knew he was good but THIS is spacetacular
>mad cause shes not fucking the nigga
>thinks women DONT want to fix the bad boy or that getting with a nice guy is more realistic or interesting
this guy is sucha fucking faggot. when one of you wants to post one of his horrendous fucking maymays here again just reconsider and abort your post
>But as critic Gregory Solman pointed out, this isn’t reflected in Kylo Ren’s personal conflict; Kylo gets reduced to Good-versus-Evil pouting. (Hey, it was only patricide!) Instead of achieving grand operatic depth or the emotional intensity of Fritz Lang’s Die Niebelugend and John Boorman’s Excalibur, Johnson is just goofy enough to keep fans holding on, renewing their dedication to the series and leaving them, like Elvis movie fans, content with their own complaisance.
>Based Armond putting over Excalibur
Star Wars isn't sci fi.
In the literal sense, no but anything set in space is sci-fi for broad film genre purposes. People who say this are just being autists.
t. reddit
Women are awful and they ruin everything. There is nothing titillating about the idea of a woman slaying the dragon. Men want to slay the dragon and save the damsel because then we get to sleep with the damsel. If a damsel is the one slaying the dragon then what do we get? How do we get interested in that story? How do women get interested in that story? They shot themselves in the foot from the get go with the heroine bullshit. I wish that their stupid SJW sensibilities would just give way to pragmatism. Give me some bed time stories. People like bed time stories.
>women love the idea of fixing the bad boy
I heard girls talking about making “bad boys” into nice guys.
Based black man dropping truth bombs
zack schnyder movies do gymnastics?
oh wait he's still butthurt about bvs
LOL
>“You’re just a child in a mask” one angsty character is taunted, and, here, that mask has been modeled after the Marvel franchise — as if the child has become father to the child.
Can he not do one review without mentioning Zach Snyder.
Yeah the movie is so bad Armond can't even be a contrarian.
>You cannot have seen any Chinese martial arts or Zack Snyder movies if you are impressed by this.
>mfw BvS and JL are better movies than the last cuck
>Space opera is a subgenre of science fiction
Consider the fact that most top critics loved it. In that sense, he's still a contrarian, although this time the public actually agrees with him.
BASED
I didn't get the last part, is he saying MCU has influenced it?
You aren't fooling anyone, newfag redditor.
>as if the child has become father to the child.
damn...
This is the whole paragraph:
>Only devotees can care about the on-going story that pits Rebels against the First Order, a reboot of the 1977’s film’s fantasy that was an homage to the historical conflicts of American Westerns and Kurosawa’s samurai movies — only in juvenile, movie-brat terms. The issues of maintaining civilization and taming the hubristic impulses in individual characters and throughout the universe were trivialized into kid stuff. Juvenilia has become the series’ raison d’être, and touching on the audience’s childhood affection is The Last Jedi’s special weapon. “You’re just a child in a mask” one angsty character is taunted, and, here, that mask has been modeled after the Marvel franchise — as if the child has become father to the child.
I think his point is that Star Wars' whole shtick influenced the MCU, which in turn eventually influenced the new trilogy.
The issues of maintaining civilization and taming the hubristic impulses in individual characters and throughout the universe were trivialized into kid stuff. Juvenilia has become the series’ raison d’être, and touching on the audience’s childhood affection is The Last Jedi’s special weapon.
Wait a sec didn't Kylo say he wanted order? Instead of the chaotic state the galaxy is in he wants civilization. Rey rejects that.
>they made eye contact and had screen time together, so they must fuck
t. soylet cuck
This, bow down to the king.
He seems to have wanted a proper war scene and deaths like in samurai movies, with blood and corpses.
>There is nothing titillating about the idea of a woman slaying the dragon.
what about a YASSSSS QUEEN slaying the dragon
>Niebelungend
Embarrassing. White reveals himself as the pseudo-intellectual hack that he is in a single word.
I think the point he's making is that they try to sell it as such (muh angst and seriousss business), but they don't actually go through with it. It felt like watching a censored AMC movie.
>or Zack Snyder movies
Based.
That's what fixing is - making bad guys into good guys.
its for hipsters, and its for irony, and the vast majority of people aren't in on the 'joke'
...
BOOM HEADSHOT.
Truly The Last Film Critic.
>that overbite
>gave My Life as a Courgette and Lady Bird positive reviews
>ended up being my two favorite movies this year
How does he do it?
It doesn't take a nigger's review to know TLJ was shit.
SO FUCKING BASED
>BvS soyboy haters utterly 100% BTFO.
Armond is so based.
Ppl say armond is a contrarian but he praises a lot of critically acclaimed movies.
Soyboys just get upset when he critizes their trash franchises
Plus he wasn't the one to ruin the Lady Bird 100% streak, it was Cole Smithy this time, Chris Chan's half brother
Never go full retard, user.
...
I just discovered he liked Showgirls (1995). Truly ourguy
My man Jolee Bindo saying it like it is!
Zack Snyder's DCEU status: Vindicated.
Legendary. If your movie is doing bad with both general audiences AND armond, you know you've made a real stinker
>Juvenilia has become the series’ raison d’être, and touching on the audience’s childhood affection is The Last Jedi’s special weapon.
I knew Armond was based but I didn't know he was THIS based
He's on fire in this one.
> The Last Jedi falls short of the visionary excitement that distinguishes Justice League or Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
Oh Armond
daily reminder that even armond white loves the prequels
you like the prequels too don't you? you don't want to be on the wrong side of history, do you?
Is he dead?
Armond White is the only reviewer whose shit I even bother to read anymore. I don't care if he's being a contrarian for it's own sake, he's still right most of the time
Child is the father of the man
> You cannot have seen any Chinese martial arts or Zack Snyder movies if you are impressed by this.
Kino as fuck.
What a crazy world.
his love of Snyder capeshit makes me think he might actually be a huge hack, but thats every critic.
lmao go fuck yourself you big dum-dum
>You cannot have seen any Chinese martial arts or Zack Snyder movies if you are impressed by this
He's absolutely right. It's hard to enjoy generic Hollywood action after these films. What Snyder does is being mimiced by Disney but fails to capture the same sense of awe and wonder. Just compare Superman returning from getting nuked to Leia's "emotional" space tour.
Snyder should've directed the new Trilogy with a Lucas story instead.
He'd be better put to use directing the inevitable Boba Fett spinoff instead
More like Review Who
Hed saying finn is useless and just used to introduce rey now hes being tossed aside. Hes not saying he wants the BBC to deep dick the little white girl you fucking faggot
What are you talking about? He brings up Excalibur all the damn time, whether it fits or not.
That and 9/11 are his biggest go-to crutches
>MEN BLEED ON THE BATTLEFIELD; WOMEN BLEED ON THE BIRTHING BED
>*tips*
BASED ARMOND
>dulled
Still not the dullest.
He read the first page of Blood Meridian and wanted to copy that line but didn't know how to
>hurr durr im a dumb faggot
Fuck off to reddit
Not Armomd but there was a review posted a few days ago that ended with something along the lines of “if you mock your mythology, it’s powers won’t be there when you need them” and I thought that was perfect with how TLJ treats everything that came before it, especially with Luke’s character.
>reading comprehension
>capping your own fucking reply
>using a phone
>watching shitty reviews of shit movies on youtube
grim
THE KING WEIGHS IN
THE KING WEIGHS IN
>post 9/11 america
>post obama america
if you dont use these in your reviews you are soyboy
BASED
>You cannot have seen any Chinese martial arts or Zack Snyder movies if you are impressed by this.
P R A I S E
R
A
I
S
E
This is why Armond White truly is the kong of Sup Forums
>snyder did this first
you guys really believe he is some prophet, inventing all these new visuals and whatnot. all of these things have been done countless times in movies and anime
>daily reminder that even armond white loves the prequels
No, he doesn't. He's mixed about SOME parts. I remember him calling AotC incredibly frustrating. He acknowledges that RotS has some brilliant parts, though.
He truly is the king of Sup Forums
i thought this guy was a joke but he's actually the voice of truth. how have we been blind all this time...
>