What the fuck went so wrong

what the fuck went so wrong

It didn’t pander enough to soyboy audiences and they didn’t like it

need to update this meme, it's at a rotten 59% now

This

Compared to TLJ Yuuzhan Vong arc is basically a masterpiece

>Yuuzhan Vong are legitimate galactic-tier threat whose level of power makes sense, "First Order" are just a comically inept nonsensical "not empire" and nobody (even the writers) don't know why it exists.
>Sense of threat and stakes to conflict, as opposed to TFA's bland, harmless atmosphere
>Galaxy seems like a big community instead of a tiny street full of coincidences
>Chewie's death was a heroic sacrifice built up for ages and with meaningful consequences. Han's death in TFA was a shitshow everyone saw coming that was a spit int he face to the audience and just JJ copying Obi-wan in ANH
>Jacen Solo's powerups is somehow much less retarded than Rey being a master-level Jedi with no training
>Did a new thing with the setting (a truly alien outside race invading, republic & empire uniting, etc.) instead of just rehashing Episode 4 near scene-for-scene
>The new alien culture is well-developed and internally logical, as opposed to TFA's throaway gag races built up mostly so JJ could say "LOOK PRACTICAL EFFECTS XDDD"

user, pls keep up.

bruh

look at this dude

>implying audiences didn’t just finally realize its fucking garbage

Motherfuckers made the fans wait 30+ years after seeing Luke become a Jedi master just to see him do the
>le epic dodge attack in slow mo, missing it by one inch because HES THE GREATEST WARRIOR!!!!!!!!

Quick work. Nice

oh my fucking god

You have to be retarded to not notice shit they try to pull in this movie.

Like Kylo not instantly demanding to now how Luke has the Lightsaber that Rey and Kylo just broke as soon as he see's it; even when it was just the hilt.

This is fucking atrocious to where any normie and their child would take notice of.

How the fuck did anyone think this was a good idea? It's beyond comprehension. Just one lightsaber fight, or at least him owning a fuckton of storm troopers with a wave of his hand. They have the technology to do this. Who signed off on the matrix move? What happened??

What went wrong???

Um, more like what went SO FUCKING RIGHT?

For every needle-dicked neckbeard GamerGater hating on this new film, there's a young PoC or young girl feeling inspired. That's who this film was made for, and Johnson, Kennedy, and Lucasfilm deserve credit for that.

None of your impotent naysaying will do anything to stop this film's success. It's a new myth for a new generation. Your little insular hobby has grown beyond you. Deal with it.

>ERRGHGG MY FABORITE CHARAGTER DIDNT HAVE A MINDLESS ACTION SCENE ERRGHHH
God you're fucking children

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Inspired to buy their products?

too much of the movie is pointless and the rebel's are constantly just about to be defeated before some asspull shows up to save the day just robs the movie of any sense of danger

>there's a young PoC
dafuq is a poc anyway? a piece of cuck?
And I pity girls and boys being inspired by such a lowest denominator designed product. Maybe there is value in not being inspired at all when it comes to trash like this?

Person of color you literal newfag mongrel

Not seen. Won't be seeing it.

What were the most SJW moments in the film? I'm intrigued to know

Taking RT Seriously

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>They kill of admiral Ackbar for no reason
>When Leia gets wounded instead of aforementioned admiral Ackbar taking her place it is a pink haired literally who admiral that refuses to tell anyone her plan

well for starters, you can tell it was written mostly by women. There's a woman in just about every frame explaining something to a guy, and Poe starts getting frustrated. He's constantly being given shit by either Leia or Admiral Dildo. At one point he loses his shit and starts knocking things over, proving how men are prone to overreacting and act like children. Finn gets an earful from Rose throughout the movie. She knocks him out and drags him around too. Poor Finn. BTFO as comic relief once again. He does get a moment but it doesn't last long as he gets shown up by Rose a few scenes later.
It also feels very disnified, with moments like Finn and Rose stopping to look at a race track where the animals are being beaten while watching evil 1%ers gamble at their casino.

REEE CANON

CANOOOOOON SCREEEEEEEEEEEE *Inhale* REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

even better than that, before lavender Bea Arthur shows up, Leia's 2nd in command, also a woman, announces her. It's so obvious there's an agenda to this film that it's distracting and completely takes you out of the film

>tfw the anger of having two major plot points spoiled for you is replaced with the anger of the movie being shit
>tfw the anger of the movie being shit is replaced by the joy you get shitposting on Sup Forums and watching the user score on rotten tomatoes drop

>We could've had Admiral doing the lightspeed trick with Hux realizing slightly too late, yelling "it's a TRA-" just before the impact
what a waste

Holy fuck I just realized that the two new Star Wars movies take place in a time span of like 4-5 days when the OT took place over years and years.

Also, I just realized that the entire space scene with them burning gas took place in 16 hours but in that same time frame Luke trained Rey over the course of 3 days. How does this make any fucking sense?

Lukes island was closer to a black hole so time went slower

I don't know. Luke's death was handled as Wagnerian as possible. He following the path of Obi Wan and letting his derailed padawan to kill him, as a final teaching. The Christ subtext. The cinematography. Literally kino scene.

I guess what went wrong was the focus-group shit the studio execs hammered in: the pointless sideplot of the pointless diversity characters, the Guardians of the Galaxy humor of the first half, the purlple-haired tumblrina/slow ship plot that served only for politics...

You mean faster? 3 days took 16 hours

IT'S OVER WHITE MALE, I HAVE THE VAGINA!

This movie makes complete sense once you realize it for exact what it is. It's a postmodern Star Wars film, made by ideologue hacks who love nothing and believe in nothing and have no respect for archetypal stories about doing what's right and overcoming the darkness inside yourself.
>The rebellion is Antifa, a matriarchal and diverse band of heroes whose violence is uniquely justified
>The First Order is Western society, dominated by emotionally stunted white males
>Admiral Purple is feminism, who is so much of a hero that you'd almost think she was a villain
>The sacred texts are the original trilogy- "Page turners, they were not."
>Luke Skywalker is the common white male, who was never a true hero to begin with, whose time is over, and who can only redeem himself by sacrificing himself for the cause

PoC = Picker of Cotton.

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woke user is woke

>Home one, Raddus and a few small ships are the last Resistance ships standing
>Holdo and Ackbar(who isnt killed by bullshit) concoct a plan
>tell all non-essential crew of both ships to leave for the escape pods
>Home one shields the Raddus from the first order fleet
>gets mauled by the Supremacy as a result
>Ackbar proclaims that "it was a pleasure serving allong side of you admiral"
>Holdo responds with something allong the lines of "the pleasure was all mine looking tensed yet with a slight smirk"
Camera switches over to the bridge of the Supremacy
>"sir, the Raddus is engaging its hyperdrive trusters"
>"...Sir?"
>Hux realizes what is happening, fear turns to anger as he screams for the shields to be raised emediatly yelling that its a Trap
>"To late!"(mirroring episode 6)
>Epic scene quess where the raddus plows through the Supremacy's wing and spalls through most of the First Order fleet

K I N O
I
N
O

forgot to add of course that the Home one aswell as Ackbar die a dignified death during this scene

>An iconic Star Wars character was killed in the background, completely out of focus, practically off screen, so he wouldn't be around to outrank somebody's feminist OC
I wanted to vomit.

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