CONAN!!!FACT!!!

It's strange, I always kinda liked Conan the Barbarian but the cinematography always looked cheap and shitty, on VHS and whenever it was on TV.

I just finished watching it in HD and HOLY FUCK, it's like watching a completely different movie and was revelatory! The cinematography really captures that "lived in" feel and doesn't give off the normal artifice of fantasy movies. I'm soo impressed that I ordered it and can't wait to check it out again.

But then I started lamenting that we didn't get a Paul Verhoeven Directed sequel instead of Destroyer and that when Arnold reunited with John (Predator) McTiernan in 1993 that it wasn't KING CONAN, with Stan Winston/Rick Baker/ILM on make-up and FX duties, instead of that shit Last Action Hero.

Arnold really should have done King Conan about 15 years ago when he was the right age. Now we'll never get it and are left with that shitty Barbarian remake with that scowling metahead Momoa!!!FACT!!! youtu.be/5ZY2mRG5mzg

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/Q15RX_fayv8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Nothing to say about a real mans movie, eh faggots? Too busy watching SJW Wars?!?FACT!!!

this is among the most awesome of all movies.
I heard the Jason Mamoa reboot was terribad.

op is gay

It sucked shit!!!FACT!!!

The reboot is the closest I've ever come to walking out of the cinema half way through a movie

Then I'll watch Conan's R-rated sex and violence while you fap yourself raw to SJW Wars then, faggot!!!FACT!!!

"Barbarism is the natural state of mankind. Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance. And barbarism must always ultimately triumph." - Robert E. Howard, Conan's creator. I get the feeling he was right!!!FACT!!! youtu.be/Q15RX_fayv8

This movie rules so hard.

It does and, holy fuck, I'm reading that Howard died when he was 30 and that his Conan stories were published in Weird Tales which is where H.P. Lovecraft got his start!!!FACT!!!

The film is legit kino.

Conan the Barbarian is one of my favorite movies of all time. The characters and story are fucking perfect.

Conan's personal philosophy: "Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content... I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."

“Barbarian” captured the tone and ethos of Howard’s work. Take, for example, the end of the Howard story “Beyond the Black River” (the one I’m always talking about):

"Barbarism is the natural state of mankind," the borderer said, still staring somberly at the Cimmerian. "Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance. And barbarism must always ultimately triumph."

Compare this with the discussion throughout “Barbarian” about “The Riddle of Steel.” In the beginning, Conan’s father, a blacksmith, is sitting with a young Conan and shows him his blade, saying, “No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. This you can trust.” He also mentions the myth of how man first discovered the working of steel, stealing it from the gods as it was left on the battlefield. He says, “… and we who found it are just men. Not gods, not giants… just men.”

Of course, everyone in his village is slaughtered by Thulsa Doom who, when confronting Conan later in the film, says that he used to “search for steel” also trying to master it and learn it’s secret. He notes Conan’s interest and tells him what he’s learned of the riddle of steel, saying, “Steel isn’t strong, boy. Flesh is stronger.” He then beckons a young follower to step off a platform to her death. He continues, “That is strength, boy! That is power! The strength and power of flesh. What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength of your body, the desire in your heart. I gave you this. Such a waste. Contemplate this… on the Tree of Woe.” I love that last line.

Flash forward to the final confrontation between Conan and Thulsa Doom on the temple balcony. Thulsa Doom says to him, “My child. You have come to me, my son. For who now is your father if it is not me. Who gave you the will to live? I am the wellspring from which you flow. When I am gone, you will have never been. What will your world be without me… my son?” Conan is moved by this and is clearly at an existential crossroads. Thulsa Doom is attempting to own his creation and his existence, taking from him all he truly has left. He thinks about all he’s been told throughout his life about the power of steel and flesh. Finally, he comes to the conclusion that I believe Howard would: The only thing a man has in life that is truly his is what he’s born with. Conan uses all that flesh and steel to bring a swift and bloody end to Thulsa Doom and we watch as his snake cult crumbles away, his followers dissolving back into the mass of humanity whence they came, probably searching for some other artificial human construct to attach meaning to their lives. But not Conan. By the end of the film, he has learned what his “fathers” have been trying to teach him.

And it’s the tenuous nature of all these artificial human constructs, such as politics, religion, etc. that Conan (and Howard, I presume) has no use for. Conan exists in a world sometime after the glory of Atlantis has faded and before the beginning of our recorded history. Mankind is barely differentiated from animals. Material wealth, for Conan, is a means to an end, not an end in itself. Politics give him hives, and religion doesn’t do much for him either. If the gods aren’t helping then they should stay out of the way, to paraphrase the film. Also, remember the “prayer” Conan makes to Crom just before his nearly one-man battle against Thulsa Doom’s soldiers? He says, “Battle pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen… then to hell with you!”

Adding to the lesson on the emptiness of material things, during the scene with Max von Sydow as King Osric, he throws a king’s ransom in jewels at Conan and his companions, imploring them to bring his daughter, who has fallen under the spell of Thulsa Doom, back to him and he says to them, “There comes a time, thief, when jewels cease to sparkle, when gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father’s love for his child.”

I never felt that “Destroyer” had any of this going on. “Barbarian” is as different from “Destroyer” and “Terminator” is from “Terminator 2”. Between the two films, Arnold became a superstar and the tone of his films changed. There was a greater attempt to cast him as a “family-friendly” hero. There was still blood in his films, but the ‘spirit” changed and there certainly wasn’t this pessimistic worldview. He also had MANY more lines of dialogue, befitting his superstar status. “Destroyer” more closely resembles that “Conan the Adventurer” television series. No, “Destroyer” should be considered anathema to true Conan and Howard fans.

Also, the score to “Barbarian” by Basil Poledouris is a masterwork

The characterization of the civilized kingdoms of the Hyborian Age was influenced by creator Robert E. Howard's own views on progress and civilization. They are wealthy and developed, but frequently lawless and mostly corrupt. His personal view of history includes "a repeating pattern of civilizations reaching their peak, becoming decadent, decaying and then being conquered by another people." The setting of his work tends to be in either the period of decline of an entire civilization or in the ruins it left behind following its demise.

Not your blog, faggot

FACT

FACT

FACT

LELELE FACT

...

I almost walked out of inception, I wish I would have.

Conan is legitimately a cinematic masterpiece.

dumb factposter

Interesting perspective.

There's a podcast on facebook that goes through every Arnie movie with local comedians.
The Conan episode comes out in a few days I think.
It's called the "I'll be back catalogue"
Very funny show

I found Hour of the Dragon to be his best story, but I tend to disagree with his theory with barbarism in Beyond the Black River. That might be because his conception of barbarism is a bit more hackneyed than a reality, in which case it is true that civilization and stability gives way to instability and violence. But those two and the tower of the elephant and definitely his best stuff.

Why aren't you taking about star wars? It feels so wrong.

The soundtrack to this movie is fantastic btw, basil palodoroius, or something, did so many great sound tracks

Oh that's how you spell it I've listened to the music far more than is reasonable.

I always believed the "answer" to the riddle of steel is willpower.

It is your will that shapes the steel. Your will that shapes the flesh that wields the steel.

Believe Conan comes to realise this when he shatters is father's sword in the battle at the burial site.

I also love how conan tests his body and stares at his clenched fist after hsi revival, as in taking in Doom's words and philosophy about flesh.

>>>>reddit
FACT!!!

Yeah. I think there's an essay on the internet that explains "will" is the answer.

The Atlantean sword (Conan's symbol) breaking his father's sword (obviously his symbol) is Conan stepping out of the shadow of his father (and his death) by getting revenge on his killers.

When he's on the temple after killing Thulsa and ponders this is him taking the final step in becoming a truly independently thinking and operating man.
He's avenged his family which was his life's purpose. Now he sits and thinks about what a man should do with his own life.

You need to go back.

No, not really. I watched it not long ago out of boredom. It was just regular bad. Felt more like a bunch of missed opportunities.

If I had to choose a word, I would go with "Inconsequential".

Robert E. Howard was a fat, socially retarded loser who killed himself.

Oh no, he's something much worse than that.

what took you so long?

easily the most kino film of all time

Welcome to the grown up world.

He was actually strongfat, a boxer and shit.

He was pretty socially retarded with regards to women though yeah.