Spark Thread

Ahahahahaha....

>$112,352 from 365 theaters

>The Lost City of Z outgrossed Spark this weekend with $112,633, and that film was playing in just four theaters.

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so is this another one of those Sun Wukong adaptations

What is Spark about? I didn't even know that it exists.

You know I did some really dumb shit at work yesterday.
But knowing how bad this shit bombed it makes me feel better, somehow.

Did you put your dick in the deep fryer?

I don't really understand what they were trying to do with Spark. Seems like the bad attention the movie got from a forced theatrical release is going to cut into the potential profits they would have had if they just sold the movie to Netflix or even went straight-to-DVD.

This movie is just a money laundering scheme. Let it go.

Not everything is The Producers.

No but this is.

Unbelievable. I thought you were full of shit, but after looking it up I can't help but chuckle. How do you fuck up THIS bad with all that advertising? I mean yeah, they play them at the last minute, but still.

You would think they would learn a lesson from Norm of the North. But no, they did the exact same thing and earned less money too($17,017,118 (USA) (11 March 2016)Norm -- 14 April 2017 (USA)).

Never mind, I think I can picture this film at the top of my head:

>The main character, who is a monkey, is picked on by everyone for "being different"
>The girl on the left is thelove interest, and is the best at everything, but for whatever reason gets captured at some point during the film.
>The fat pig is the unfunny comic relief character

>main character,
>picked on by everyone for "being different"
Why do writers still do this? It's been done to death(both for shows and movies). The animation industry needs to rev up a new blacklist. End this already.

is that Hans from Frozen?

Wrong, its a whole world 9f monkeys
Wrong, bjg sis type
Wrong best part.

Bye bye, BTFO FAG

did you pay to see the movie, user?

Fuck no
I streamed it

Thank fucking god.

This is the same studio that produced "The Nut Job", which somehow made enough money to get a sequel greenlit despite being a critically-panned abortion of a film with absolute shit jokes that only a retard could laugh at.

They deserve to fail, and so did this film.

That's illegal, I'll have you know. Just sayin'

I don't believe in you, user.

>absolute shit jokes that only a retard could laugh at
To be fair, it's a film aimed at children, which are really just little retards.

The only reason why this failed was that it was barley advertised at all. I mean, at the very least, Jace Norman could've used his star power and begging in order to promote the movie in which he stars in on Nick but nope, they instead promoted the new Smurfs movie which has no Nick actors on board.

That is sad, in any case a brave or crazy user would watch it and tell us how much it sucks or not.

Delgo is laughing at you, Spark.

Fucking Delgo!

Didn't even know it was out

No, the trailer was also pretty garbage.

Just watch it
youtube.com/watch?v=CicSHrDKw0M

This movie had a lot of problems going for it.

is there one original thought in this entire movie? the plot is about as generic as they come, as are the characters

It doesn't matter, I just want some fox porn.

bitch looks like hogarth

Rock dog, Spark, Emoji, Smurfs, Boss Baby, Cars 3.

2017 is a year of shit movies.

At least this movie give us tomboy vixen. That's something.

that's like third vixen this year

>Can't find a single theater showing it in my county.

This movie has a depressing backstory as well.

Shouldn't this movie have to had made money to work, then?

>365 theaters.

That is the only way he could have seen it, user.

Nut Job is the one that had the dance party to Gangam Style right?

Yeah no, that studio can burn

Subsidy from the nut industry. Not even kidding.

oh god, you're not op of , are you?

>third
So this one, Drama from Rock Dog and who?

movies with monkeys as the main characters never succeed
why don't they understand that no one gives a shit about monkeys?

I think the one from Rimba Racer.

I know that no one cares about this movie, so I will just post then only good thing that come out of out it.

...

...

Your mentallity is why bad movies exist in the first place,

never heard.

Last one.

>patrick stewart
wait, THE patrick stewart? what the fuck?

m8, Patrick Stewart does whatever nowadays.

The Nut Job did decently financially despite its lambasting by critics thanks to its marketing, something Spark didn't have.

>Vix
>Bananny
I already fucking hate this movie and have no idea what the fuck it is

>you'll never see a captain simian reboot now

Thanks Spark.

>At least this movie give us tomboy vixen
Rock Dog already gave us a better one

>that only a retard could laugh at
You know, recently I've come to think that this is literally where a lot of the worst movies actually make their money from. I have this friend that as a job works with what in his business he refers to as "developmentally disadvantaged individuals." So, low functioning mentally retarded. People that can't really take care of themselves or be left all alone for much of a length of time. Much of the time they're cared for by parents or care givers or live in special homes set up for them. But for the parents, it's a very taxing existence, so they hire guys like my friend to just take them out of the house a couple times every week so the rest of their family can get a break. And since there's only a handful of things they can do that they enjoy without the risk of a disturbance, they often go to the movies. A lot. Sometimes for stretches it amounts to more than once a week, every single week. And they can't really go see very complex or violent movies because it's hard for them to process them, or enjoy them, or very intense parts can make them upset. So they have to settle for whatever mild children or family film happens to be out at the time, and if nothing better is out, or sometimes even if it is but they've seen it a couples times already and they or their escort doesn't feel like rewatching the same movie that much, they see this shit. And I can't help but think what a market there is to be made here, with these people going to the movies so damn much, sometimes in groups of twos or threes, plus the guy hired to bring them out, who of course also gets a ticket. My poor friend saw Nine Lives, a movie about a businessman turned into a cat, seven times while it was out. And I can't help but think how much money that is, from such a small audience. I used to think it was just kids, but there's this whole other unseen audience going to these.

That's the best part of money laundering schemes. The people running the scam run off with most of the money that was supposed to be used in developing or advertising the product before said product is even released. If it makes money and gets too popular it's actually a problem because then the scammers get stuck having to be responsible for the success, when the aim is to make quick and easy money and then cut ties and run away.

I think they just have different flavor of tomboy. Drama is more of cute tomboy while Vix is
tough and athletic tomboy.