Based Rian

>Makes Rey nobody
>Kills Snoke
>Kills Luke
>Kills Phasma
>Kills the Rey/Finn ship
>Destroys 99.9% of the Rebel Allia--I mean """"The Resistance"""""
>Destroys all of the First Order's "muh Empire BUT BIGGER" shit
>Gets all the "Return of the Jedi" moments out of the way
>Destroys the lightsaber
>Gets rid of "le red arm"
>Forces Jew-Jew to deal with all that
Based Rian

I miss lucas

Destroying is fucking easy. And it takes effort to build stuff.

Don't forget
>Kills basically everyone old except Leia
>Her actor is dead and can't be in IX anyway

Madman

my boy JJ will undo all he did to get back at the fucker.

Rey's real name is Nob Oddy?

Easy.
Rey is a Kenobi.
Snoke isn't dead, he's Plagious.
Phasma dead
There are now outer rim rebels like ISIS.
Rey makes her Staff saber to become Jedi Knight
Red Arm?
Make Rey turn Kylo. Fight Smoke. Kill Snoke and remove the Sith once and for all.
Too much was set up in TFA to be nothing.

...

Masterful fuckign banter, once you consider all the big fucking mess he left for JJ.

What a madman.

>kills Phasma

She'll be back again in ep 9

He's actually fucking genius. We all know Jar Jar Abrams would make Kylo and Rey fight in front of Snoke, Luke would have his final, "badass" lightsaber duel, etc. All those boring, rehashed trops he established in TFA were completely annihilated so Jar Jar is forced to come up with something original for IX. He will probably fail anyway but that idea was genius. And the movie is pretty good too.

This is pretty fucking great when you think about it. No more jew jew mystery box. He created a blank fucking slate

I hope not. She's useless.

Movie is a Fucking diaster. I don't think he had even seen a Star Wars movie.

>creates an hour long subplot that is invalidated by the fact that it does nothing and could have been avoided by a character being honest who had no reason not to be

JJ will be like

>Makes Rey's parents adoptive, true parentage revealed
>Snoke is darkness itself, can never die
>Luke is light itself, also never dies
>Phasma is cyborg now
>Does Finn-Rey-Rose love triangle
>brings the resistance back with a huge fleet of diverse alien ships that answer the call
>makes a bigger badder weapon than anything ever seen and must be stopped
>we get to relive a save han like scene in ep 9 just like in ROTJ
>rey makes a new double bladed light saver out of anakins
>C3P0 sells his gold to jews

I think Snoke might be dead but Rey's parents definitely aren't nobody.

But it would be cool as shit if Snoke just appeared in the next movie like "Do you know how many times my enemies have thought me dead?"

The RLM review made me realize something very shitty about this movie.

Even with all the twists and turns, we're still left with Rey vs. Kylo Ren like we were at the start of the film, only now all of the mysteries have been solved and so many characters have died that there's actually nothing left to salvage OTHER THAN Rey vs. Kylo Ren.

It's deliciously ironic. In trying to subvert all expectations, Johnson has railroaded IX into a single, predictable plot thread.

Last sentence.

MUH LUKE WAS RUINED IT'S NOT STAR WARS

In all honesty I don't think Rian Johnson likes Star Wars nor do I think he likes JJ Abrams, I believe this movie was the equivalent to shitting in your hand and smearing it over someone else's painting right before the big show.

this is why we shouldn't let people with fetal alcohol syndrome write movies.

>Phasma dead
Didn't she show up in the battle on the planet of salt?

>episode IX starts
>opening scene
>fin wakes up in med bay surrounded by Leia and poe
>"man I just had a crazy dream that the entire rebel fleet was led by a purple haired granny and that I was being stalked by a small asian lady"
>film picks up with rey handing luke his lightsaber
there you go

>fuck Lucas!
>fuck JJ!
>fuck Disney!
/ourguy/?

>In all honesty I don't think Rian Johnson likes Star Wars
Well he's in charge of the next trilogy so he better learn to like it real quick

Imagine being the Disney exec that gave WRITING AND DIRECTING to ONE NO-NAME director, who ends up killing off the series' biggest character and shitting up the entire move ou give him

I don't think he's ourguy, he took the check and directed a shit movie. He could have made it good while staying fuck the establishment but he didn't

I would honestly love this. A literal fuck you to Rian Johnson

The only way to save it is if the first order non sith commander grows a pair and dethrones Ren and hunts him and his knights across the galaxy maybe forcing him and his knights to do good rather than just being space cunts.

It ain't going to be Star Wars. He's going to make some crazy shit about morality and Communism.

I heard this guy confirmed that he played KOTOR 1 as a kid, which probably means he played KOTOR 2 too.

which means this whole fucking movie was him trying to pull a kreia.

wait what? the morality stuff I get, but I don't remember anything about communism

i'd watch it desu cause it's closer to good star wars than TFA or TLJ lmao

>lol i fucking hate star wars
>fuck those nerds
>so glad they think it's shit
star wars current audience is so strange

...

wow you just fixed star wars, too bad JJ will never do this

This feels like the last movie desu like they skipped the middle

This actually makes me want to go and see it.

>C3P0 sells his gold to jews
lost hard

The only bad part of this movie was the Finn-Poe-Rose subplot, which should have been either cut or severely edited down.

Prove me wrong.

I would actually not be upset at all and think he's pretty based if he's trying to sabotage JJ and Disney like that.

Underrated post.

So he's basically having Star Wars' last movie...start from nothing? A fresh start? JJ Abrams' setup in TFA was pretty shoddy. Even though I disagree with many of Rian's decisions his movie did basically kill off the Resistance and every important OT character left. Now all that stands are MaRey Sue, Based Poe, and Finnig against the now Supreme Leader Crymore Ren. It's an open playing field. The movie could be set anytime, anywhere, with nearly anyone.

Is Rian secretly a kino genius?

How will they kill off Leia? They had such an easy out with the vacuum of space...

>Gets rid of "le red arm"

Go back and re-watch the very last scene with C-3PO in it and, I shit you not, his red arm is gone despite it being there just a few minutes earlier.

All of this would be fine if the film wasn't a fucking borefest.

But Reylo was the best part of this movie. If they limit their interactions to force projections in the next one, and play up the emotional aspects, that would be something interesting that was only really done in KOTOR, not any of the other movies. I mean, Kylo isn't really EVIL, and he isn't trying to turn Rey evil either. He just wants her by his side, and she's so conflicted that maybe she thinks she can change him by doing it.

I don't know if Disney is brave enough to really go through with a conflicted romance between the main antagonist and protagonist in a movie like this though.

Find a way to write out Canto Bight, the codebreaker, plus write in another way to distract you from the boring chase and the movie is pretty good.

And yet,
>Finn Rose kiss
That was outta left field. I saw ZERO attraction between them.

>That was outta left field. I saw ZERO attraction between them.
Almost certainly one-sided. Finn's going to have to friendzone her, just like Rey's going to friendzone him (if she hasn't already).

I love this movie for fucking everyone in the ass that I hate.

>TFA-fags who thought JJ's mystery boxes weren't shit.
>Race-mixers
>Reyfags counting on her lineage to explain her power level.
>Anyone that still cares about SW after the prequels.
>Disney.

all you need to replace leia is a computer, user

Kek

How great would it be if star wars just became a battle ground between jj abrams and rian johnson? They just switch off directing every other movie just to see who can fuck with the others movie the worst. we'd never get a decent star wars again, but, if thats what we get in return, it'd almost be worth it.

The movie was a total shitshow.

Rian fucking wishes he had pulled his shit off as elegantly and with as much good writing as KOTOR 2 pulls its shit off.

You've still got to deal with Luke and the way the movie butchered him, though.

My solution to that is just don't kill Luke. Keep him alive to the end of the trilogy and have him and Rey work together at the end. Killing him was such a pointless decision.

you forgot
>triggers nerds on Sup Forums
BASED
A
S
E
D

She sounded like a dying frog in the new movie. Every time she fucking talked made me irrationally upset.

I think people read way too far into sheev's comment about plageus

You people are literally so deluded and jaded that this Star Wars could have been the best ever and you faggots would whine about it anyway.

Shit, I meant to say "Go back and re-watch Episode VII"

They probably just found the right parts? Who the fuck gives a shit?

You people are the worst

>pretty good

That was just a generic tie pilot I believe, it’s just hard to tell since phasma was like a dark silverish color and tie pilots are black but with the same suit design otherwise.

I love you.

thank you based Rian. although Last Jedi should have been episode VII that way you clear the slate and then have two movies to work with

would redeem the franchise desu

ironic

Lol
>C3P0 sells his gold to Jews

Holy fucking shit it just makes me fume that ,that complete no talent kike gets to direct star wars and con everyone.

>Kills the Rey/Finn ship

Also kills the Finn/Poe ship thank fuck.

>kills the Rey/Finn ship
except he didn't

>kills the Finn/Poe ship
which would be better than Finn/Rose

YES WELL DONE JJ WELL DONE, NICE MYSTERY BOXES...

HOWEVER