Chocolate cake, gameboy... or me?

chocolate cake, gameboy... or me?

chocolate cake
my face
game boy
my face
her
et cetera

Her Milkies are too small, so gameboy

yes, yes but what if the roles were reversed?

I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at this.

Make her sit in the cake and eat her ass

>her face when

Any response other than gameboy is objectively incorrect.

I want those old 80s and 90s panties with the super high waist to come back. I grew up shamefully jerking to media of these things, then they went completely out of style by the time I got a real girl. Now I'll never get rip those off with my teeth. :(

They're back, at least with bikinis.

Why does every male secretly have a fantasy of being a young boy getting preyed upon by an older woman?

mommy!!

baby want MILKIES!!

>no role in movie or me?
I get what you’re saying.

Don't trust the things that advertisers imply about reality, retard.

what if a boy came into a womans room offering her cake, Gameboy, or himself?

Or, assuming you actually got a "real girl", you could just ask her to wear those.

How did they get away with this?

This is what a rapist looks like.

When what? Fucking hell, user, are you okay? Did you die while typing this? When WHAT?

it's what they fantasised as young boys

m8 it's hardly just advertisers, it's all over the internet. I think it's essentially an extreme form of femdom

Because males can't be "preyed upon" you fucking shitlord.
Fuck you for making me reply.

Good point actually.

It's a dream sequence played for comedic effect, in an episode that deals with the son's onset of puberty
Only a pervert would see anything inappropriate here

Well first its because I was insanely horny as a 12-13 year old, just what puberty does I guess. And second is that men have to do so much shit to get laid, it would be nice if a woman was forward like this.

Lauren Holly was super fucking hot. She was still hot in Dumb and Dumber but she's off the charts here.

>Mint
>Pulls it out of her ass

Just imagine how much shit particles she got on the card in her attempt to be "sexy". Dumb roasties.

Can you imagine the smell haha I'd probably sniff it she gave it to me haha just as a joke and stuff haha gross haha.

*sniff* What's that smell?

Jim Carrey ruined here

>Just imagine how much shit particles she got on the card

Jesus christ my wee willy is as hard as a rock

That puddy tat looks pretty comfy.

Well the actual reason was girls at my age seemed disgusted by me but older women seemed to dote over me, so you can see why

this
it's basically the least you can ask her sexually, and you should be thankful you don't have some weird fetish that won't happen with the girl you like

not everyones buttocks are covered in dingleberries like youres retard

Probably gave her genital warts.
That little butt scene in Dumb and Dumber though.

>itsenoughtomakeamankek.png

He does have something of a habit of sucking the life force from his women.
Dat ass though.

this just reminded me I'm a beta virgin

Just hire a prostitute ffs. Sex isn't the fucking awesome life-defining thing it's made out to be. It's pleasurable, just try it and see so you can move on with your life.

I spanked it to that scene a lot.

...

You're only human, mate.

real reason is most older girls have bigger boobs when you're pre high school. lets be honest.

>normie who had sex no probelm and does it regularly telling incels to lose their virginity to a hooker
every time

I cant imagine weirdo virgins in their 30's and 40s getting laid for the first time and them then realizing they were fixating on something that probably is just as good as wacking off, eating a great tasting pizza and having a nap.

It has to be such a let down if you are a beta loser that old.

Your moms never walked around in panties in house?

Don't you just hate how you never feel your orgasms in sex dreams?

>tfw granny panties
needless to say no milf fantasies for me

I have. Like 3 times

Last few times I've had sex have been with prostitutes. It's way less fuss. There's fucking nothing wrong with it.

Yeah, it'd be a huge letdown. There's zero point in romanticising it, it's why anyone that age should fuck a prostitute just to see.

Femanon detected. Present Mammaries plixy plox.

All I ever hear from people is that their first time sucked.

>hey virgin just fuck a prostitute!
>realize the reason chad and stacey stay fit is they fuck constantly and it's light exercise you can't master in one go.

I was 18, barely got hard, couldn't cum and was so self conscious I left my boxer shorts on and just stuck my dick through the fly.
It was terrible.

>hooker fucking degenerate trivializing sex
>not romanticizing the most intimate act you can perform
I'd rather die a virgin, if there is god pretty sure that ups my candidacy for paradise.

It's just sexual release, nothing more, nothing less. Denying you want that is basically denying your humanity. Your life though, die a virgin if you like.

I get them a lot. The pleasure is gone but i still feel them. Sucks waking up with cummy undies though.

this
when I was in year 7 with no friends, I'd go to the library and read and became friends with these girls in year 9 who all had boobs

God damn the OG GameBoy packaging was boss.

Joke's on you. She's willing to indulge my actual weird fetishes, but oddly defensive about her style of panty.

Sadly, I've never had a sex dream... Not one I remember at least

MOOOOOOM! I cummied in my undies again! And get me some chicken tendies!!!

nah, that is not my problem, I do not care about that part. My problem is more idiotic than that

I've had three and they all had me fucking my mom, no idea why but when I woke up I came as soon as I started stroking every time.

Tetris>>>>>>>>>>her>>>>>>>>>>>>chocolate cake

>I do not care about that part. My problem is more idiotic than that

Well, you knew this was coming. What's the problem?

35 here.
Haven’t fucked since 2013.
I can feel my virginity growing back.

Now this is a situation where it makes no sense to not just fuck a prostitute.

33.

Haven't fucked anyone apart from a black hooker since 2009. The shame, disgust and smellz have put me off hookers but may try again soon.

>I left my boxer shorts on and just stuck my dick through the fly

That's how men fuck.

Why would you pick a black one?

I haven't done that since. I like feeling my skin completely against hers. It's a beta or nervous kid thing to do.
Or lazy man thing to do.

what's next for his career?

Being my fuckin hero.

I'd never slept with a black woman before and she had massive tits.

Thought it would be nice to try but she was pretty uninterested, lived in a squalid flat and I could still smell her pussy days later.

...

>want to post on Sup Forums
>immediate get tempted to fap

Cya later

I'm guessing you like in the US, which sucks for prostitution. In most countries it's legal and regulated so you just go to a brothel and have a nice selection to pick whichever one you want.

>I like feeling my skin completely against hers

That sounds pretty gay, tbqhf

I am from the UK.

It's pretty much illegal here but there are websites like Adultwork were you can browse prostitutes. I just made an error of judgement on the one I chose.

Not him but I feel the same way. America hates virgins, everyone is so fucking puritan (outwardly anyway), wanting to fuck a 17 year old is pedophilia, and yet we're bombarded with sexuality in the media everyday. Honestly if prostitution were legal here I'd have lost it years ago, I even live in so cal so there would probably be a ton of hot women in brothels. Pretty much the only reason it isn't legal here is because of our retarded puritan values, thats fucking it.

the problem is that I haven't mature, I think. I'm egotistical when it comes to relationships, but not confident enough to just go and fuck someone.

>ca
>puritan
more like does poor witty women are being exploited.

Guess I'm gay.

>It's pretty much illegal here but there are websites like Adultwork were you can browse prostitutes. I just made an error of judgement on the one I chose.
That's for sure, tons of the Hungarian and euro pornstars do UK frequently and they're fucking dirt cheap. You could get a real euro hottie GFE/PSE for peanuts.

I'm all for family values but at the same time believe that biologically we need sexual release. As you said bombarding the population with sexuality in the media and then turning around and telling them they've wrong for wanting it is retarded. People want it and let's face it, some women have nothing else to offer, at least let them monetise it safely.

I remember cumming to her when I was 14

lady I don't think my poor shota dick can satisfy you

It's kinda bizarre to think that every single day in California 100s of 18 year old girls are having sex with strangers whilst being filmed and that's fine but if they were to do it privately that would be a crime.

I wish a cute girl would rape me

I don’t know. I’m a romantic and still believe I will find my qtpie while shitposting in my cum stained undies.

wow anally?

because mommy

Best of luck.

Ive ordered escorts in the us, did it like 5 times when I was in between girlfriends, was in the military and had good income. Would rent a hotel room, get drunk, google escorts, ordered them, never got caught

>those armpits
dear god

Yeah, the chances of getting caught are slim but it's not a particularly safe environment, especially when you consider all those Mark Spiegler stories.

Womens rights (muh evil male pimps) is at odds with wanting to be as degenerate as possible.

>that fucking thigh gap
FUCK

The fuck are you trying to argue?