What went wrong? Not even meme-ing. Try to explain why this movie is bad

What went wrong? Not even meme-ing. Try to explain why this movie is bad.

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youtube.com/watch?v=R0QPCS4a84k
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nothing you just havent watched it for the 22nd time to realize its kino

major problems:

>Casino sideplot
>Slo-mo chase sideplot
>New characters are non-characters
>SuperLeia
>Nihilist Luke: character assassination
>Child-murderer Luke
>Force hologram pulled off the screenwriter’s ass for the sole purpose of robbing Luke of a real, heroic death

lore and suspension of disbelief breaking stuff and retarded stuff in general:

>dropping bombs… in space
>an x-wing can solo a dreadnought now
>lo-fuel in spaceships
>slo-mo chase (why don’t use hyperspace to move destructors a little ahead; why don’t send fighters)
>Snoke reads minds but cannot sense the lightsaber moving or Kylo’s intentions
>a whole plot reserved for an anti-mansplaining lesson
>hyperspace suicide ships are a thing now
>Kylo doesn’t recognize Luke/Anakin/his blue saber in Luke’s force hologram (he destroyed it 5 minutes before)
>Rey masters the lightsaber in 5 minutes
>Rey moving rocks
>Finn’s suicide run+Rose’s love “arc”

“humor”:

>I can hear you can you hear me?
>yo momma
>Finn “naked & leaking”
>*throws lightsaber
>milking scene
>”yeah Jakku’s pretty much nowhere”
>”reach out” -> literally reaches out with her hand
>ship is an iron visual gag: we spaceballs now
>drunk alien puts coins in BB8
>opera singer alien
>porg puppy eyes
>porgs chew Millenium Falcon
>porg falls against a window
>rock falls on wheelbarrow

dropped/destroyed plots from TFA’s shit “Mystery box”:

>Luke went to the island to die but left a map that was the main McGuffin of TFA
>Finn as a stormtrooper
>Rey’s parents
>Snoke

TFA couldve been made good by some editing and a couple reshoots

TLJ is rotten to the core and just 2.5 hours of trash apart from some rey/kylo scenes

literally everything

>A lot happens, but every scene is brief and insipid, devoid of any feeling
>Entire fucking lengthy subplot of nignog and chubby 4/10 vietcong amounts to nothing but their capture just to strengthen their 'bond' (which we the audience felt nothing for)
>So nignog nobly goes to sacrifice himself to stop the canon, but she idiotically saves him out of love, surely dooming them all (if not for avatar Luke)
>Didn't Phasma die in the last one? Here she is again for a moment. Buy our action figures.
>Following Princess Leia Organa, the next in command is naturally... this out-of-nowhere purple-haired dyke with an insufferable, pushy attitude who chit-chats with Leia like we should know they're long-time buddies
>Luke drinking his protein shake. I can't believe it's not milk.
>No two lightsabers make contact in the entire film. Luke could have died in a meaningful battle like Obi Wan, but decidedly appeared as a hologram avatar
>Goldmember is finally revealed, and it doesn't matter.
>In an entire galaxy, the Resistance is a small fleet of vessels and the First Order is run by incompetent monkeys
>Hey, remember Yoda? Just look at that CGI
>Porgs $$$ and crystal foxes $$$. Buy our action figures!
If there's anything to take away from this shitshow, it's Adam Driver.

>>Hey, remember Yoda? Just look at that CGI

Wasn't Yoda actually a puppet? It sure as hell looked like PFX to me, but I might've been mistaken.

>character assassination

This is b.s. The only real issue is the casino side plot.

They used the original mold and made a puppet dumbass. It was really obvious too.

Casino subplot completely stupid and unnecessary.
0 follow up of TFA open points.
Stupid "humorous" marvel moments.
Everything they did with Luke.

And many more....

TFA have a better build up for the next installment. I was really hype for the TLJ but I didn't get the same feeling after watching TLJ. It felt like a bitter sweet ending but you don't want anything more from it.

It was Guardians of a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Literally everything with Rose and Finn.

>THe humor was horrible and out of place
>The entire finn sidequest was filler to give him something to do
>kylo kills snoke to just become an asshole again 2 min later
>purple hair bitch and benicio were useless
>leia flying like superman
>luke being too lazy to get off his island and dying from fatigue
>teasing rey background just to tell us shes no one to give a big TWIST
>the fat chink stopping finn from pretty much sacrificing himself to save his friends
And for me most of all,the fact that the next one will be "giant laser weapon that has to be destroyed and kill kylo while he regrets his decision in his deathbed"

My boys over at Red Letter Media gave a great explanation for it. Just watch that.

Rian was desperate to subvert and deconstruct Star Wars. He didn't care what people might want to see or what JJ had set up, only that he get his fanfiction onto the screen.

I has a question. Who am I supposed to be afraid of in this movie?

>No chemistry between the main protagonist casts after two movies

Poe just literally meet Rey and introduce each other and the end of the movie.

Men

It's the longest star wars movie, it's poorly paced, there is little dramatic tension, characters don't develop and there are a myriad of poor plot devices.

Most of this is accurate, except the milking scene was kino

Here are my biggest flaws with the film:

>Lots of moments that just chuck out the tension that's being built. The entire Casino sideplot is the biggest perpetrator here. It felt like it existed entirely because Disney wanted to make sure the tone didn't get too dour and to show off toys & setpieces.

>The most pants-on-head retarded Military things in the whole franchise that I've seen. From entirely nonsensical bomber designs that exist only to create "oh will the good guys win" anxiety, to the worst CO who isn't there literally to be a bad CO that I know of in Holdo, and I could go on.

>Very awkward empty sentiments and moralizing that go nowhere and are not effectively delivered to the audience. The whole "Good guys/Bad guys" arms dealing thing is brought up like once and dropped, "Yeah we're gonna light a spark!" is just empty words with no explanation or anything

>Does not effectively communicate changes in setting, leaving way too much to the EU to fill in. How did the Republic, the galactic body of governance, end up at like 3 ships? Who is Snoke? Because he clearly has a place in the history of the galaxy, but that is left entirely empty.

>Very poor job establishing character interactions and dynamics. The biggest example of this is the Rose & Finn kiss that just comes out of nowhere because the film didn't work on building that up.

>Cool cinematography shown off in the trailer is the extent of noteworthy shots in the film, besides the FTL Ram (which has been needled to death here I won't go into it) and Space Leia (which was fucking ludicrous and I couldn't take seriously)

>Only music worth remembering was OT callback themes.

I'm not gonna lie, I thought it was mostly enjoyable in the theatre, but it definitely has gaps that get wider the more thought you give it. There were some cool setpieces (and some stupidity in them, yes), some of the humor was alright (a lot was eye-roll worthy), but overall, I give it a high-ish pitched "eeeeh"/10

the problem with that moie is that i want my money back, my gf begged me to watch it she's a star wars fan (star wars pillows pyjamas books etc ... at home). i never regret spending money in my life than for this movie... 2 tickets god damit

But none of them are the least bit intimidating. One of the greatest screen villains of all time has been replaced by a disposable decrepit and an emo hair boy. And a paleo-anthropologist who got lost on her way to the hunger games. Even for a kid's movie, the epic scale has been diminished down to Harry Potter.

>he pays for his gf

glad i didn't, i am to endure her star wars fanboism everyday at home already

One thing: It's still too much of a rehash.

which is her favourite episode

The bombs would be acceptable to me if they were somehow pushed towards the ship, and if there was something keeping Rose's sister from the open vacuum of space.

lol what do you think her favorite episode is, as a robot star wars fan consumer of course its empire

I'd bet money on it being a CGI 'puppet". like, it's a computer generated thing, but it's made to look like puppet yoda. It was really distracting.

...

reposting:
I liked it because it broke down the old tired structure of the Star Wars movies that all the fanboys obsess over. Not every risk it took paid off, but when they did, they did spectacularly.

Casino plot could've been trimmed down but it ultimately destroyed the trope that every single one in a million plan will always pay off, as they always do in star wars. Poes plotline similarly destroyed the 'hotshot daredevil pilot is always right in the end because he takes ridiculous risks' ideal and showed that not all heroes are the same. Kylo reaffirming his belief to the dark side after killing Snoke, subverting Reys belief in him, destroyed our expectation of redemption for the main antagonist.

That's what TLJ was to me, a destruction and a deconstruction, but the kind you do to an old dilapidated building so a better one can be built in its place. That comes later so I understand why some people feel empty about it now, but it needed to be done if this series is going to have a future.

Rian Johnson ripped an old bandage off of the fans of star wars, and the first reaction is anger from the stinging pain, but once that passes I think they'll come to see that they didn't need the bandage after all.

Most of the movie was spent on literally worthless subplots that amounted to nothing. And when shit that mattered happened, it was okay at best and definitely not enough to redeem the dumb rest of the movie.

>The Casino sideplot could have been great
>No dapper fellow
>Chink didn't do shit
>Luke's hologram just robs any meaning of the fight
>Yoda just smashes shit for the lulz
>Kamikaze a fleet
>Rey just fucks around

But the last scene looked cool for me.

>A lot happens
And yet almost nothing happens. The story didn't really advance that much. They killed Luke, because they had to kill somebody for some reason (Shock? Not sure), they killed a bunch of resistance fighters nobody gave a shit about, and Snoke died. Who again added exactly nothing but contrivance to the plot.

They literally didn't know where the subplots where supposed to go when the made TFA so they just gave it to Ryan Johnson and let him do whatever he wanted.

Imagine a katyusha pointed down. Would have looked cool and fit thier ideological leanings better

Why did Luke leave a map to his hideout if he didnt want to ever be found?

youtube.com/watch?v=R0QPCS4a84k

Review sums it up.

Logic. The writers can't think fucking logically. I know SW isn't exactly a war story with well written tactics that we watch play out, they're mostly set pieces. But holy shit this movie was more glaring than ever. Characters are retards, and not the fun comedic type.

3rd post covers most it. It was just too much stupid to pass off as a 5/10 okay and went full retard. It looks pretty and has one character that makes sense, everything else is fucking trite.

Well a lot of scenes that loop back onto themselves, and ultimately the movie just kills some plot points, like Luke.
I mean it goes through most scenes at a brisk pace, but they're completely meaningless by the end of the movie.
That island sequence felt really fucking long, though.

>”reach out” -> literally reaches out with her hand
That and Luke's reaction were great, the problem is that they didn't follow theough with it, with Rey having trouble not taking things literaly and Luke making her understand the force, because right afterward Rey just gets it and becomes enlihtened or something.

That's all well and good, but while Rian was trolling the fanboys he forgot to establish any hooks to get people to want to see the third movie in the trilogy. That's a colossal fuckup that goes well beyond any of the other issues the movie may have had.

or maybe the movie was just trash

okay I had to stop for a moment.. you DON't pay for your girl? Which is it, poor/teenager/lousy job?

we don't believe in that stuff

This.

Entire bombers thing makes zero fucking sense.

Why develop those slow cows when they had Y-wings and B-wings before?

Why develop a ship for space combat that needs to be directly above the enemy to do anything?

That negro character and his story was fucking pointless. He did things in the last movie but this movie anything involving him was pointless. They could easily edit him out and nothing would be lost

>I liked it because it broke down the old tired structure of the Star Wars movies

It didn't.

You still end up with big bad Empire vs weak heroic rebels. You still have a guy in black with red lightsaber as big bad. You still have giant superweapons.

>EU to fill in
How much of the world/explanations are not left up to EU? Like are all the shitty books (encyclopedias), comics, games and TV shows post disney purchase the new canon that I have to consume just to attempt to fill in the plot holes their mainline product (the movies) creates?

The movie is literally filler. The characters are in the same position they were in at the end of TFA. Nobody has an arc, nothing has changed

The movie span it's wheels for 2.5 hours but moved no where & killed any anticipation for a "who cares" episode IX.

Established plots in TFA were ignored or trashed. Inappropriate Marvel humour in a Star Wars movie. BB-8 was Jar Jar throughout.

The CGI chase scenes had horrible "Hobbit-tier" CGI.

The bombers make plenty of sense.

Their slowness is compensated for by over a hundred heavy bombs.

One bomber can bring down a seven-kilometer siege dreadnought.

That makes zero fucking sense?

One bomber can bring down a seven-kilometer siege dreadnought. That makes fucking sense.

They changed. Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader now, and Rey learned how to be a Jedi and Poe learned that he needs to follow orders

I mean if you want to nitpick everything. Here's everything wrong w/ Rotj.

1) the first 30 minutes of the movie. Don't they have an army? What kind of a dumb plan is this?
2) the puppets and goofy aliens and robots going argh beep beep wee wee.
3) the ewoks
4) we don't really know who the emperor is. #genericbadguy
5) how does barely trained kid defeat Darth Vader? Is he a Mary sue or something
6) too many forced diversity. The bad guys are all white males

>Their slowness is compensated for by over a hundred heavy bombs

That's no excuse for a weak ass engine in a gravityless environment

>they killed a bunch of resistance fighters nobody gave a shit about
i also noticed that the female pilots died bravely and heroically, while the male pilots died screaming and holding their hands up in panic. it's jarring how much you can feel the agenda in this movie.

>Rey learned how to be a Jedi
I don't think so. Jedi is a religion/teaching, she's just a fucking force user.
>Poe learned that he needs to follow orders
Why is that even a thing? Wasn't this asshat already following orders years before? He's been in the resistance well before TFA, it's not like these movies were his 'coming of age' story, where he needs to learn some life lessons and work together. The fucktard starts a mutiny and gets his squad killed. Pink hair is to blame as well, but he should just accept chain of command or split off and make his own resistance movement. Clearly he was out ranked and never going to get command the moment Leia dies.

>1) the first 30 minutes of the movie. Don't they have an army? What kind of a dumb plan is this?
you mean when they're rescuing a hostage from Jabba?

Luke Skywalker was handled and written so fundamentally different from how he was originally depicted to the point that Mark Hamill had to think of him as a different character ("Jake Skywalker") just so he could competently play the part.
youtube.com/watch?v=EIY-PsHrj9A

...

requesting "attack the knowledge" pic

have a pilot for your troubles

>dropped/destroyed plots from TFA’s shit “Mystery box”:
C3PO's red arm

it was directed by an indie director by star wars standards

rian cant into a giant production like this and it shows

pick either

A) a well oiled machine made movie that takes no risks like force awakens
or
B) something interesting but george lucas tier sloppy

we got b this time

also mark hamill and carrie fisher cant act

>everything with the casino is pointless
>Rey doesn't actually change or learn anything, all she does is move rocks at the end to the movie
>porgs are litterally just toys
>Rose was a pointless character who does nothing except for (as far as she knows) sabotages the last hope for the rebellion. This is portrayed as a good thing for some reason
>Luke doesn't actually teach Rey anything, there's no sense that she's actually wiser or stronger after leaving the island like Luke was in empire
>Why does Rey even need training if she's allready beteen the strongest guy in the first order in TFA
>what's the point of Luke using a hologram to fight Ren if the hologram will just hill him anyway?
>why didn't the purple hair chick just tell everyone her plan?
>cringey flying Leia scene that's never explained or brought up again
>Leia does nothing the whole movie and should have been the one to crash the ship
>scene where Rey goes into that hole is pointless
>Phasma cones back to life only to do nothing and die like 5 minutes latter
>the whole thing with Poe needing to learn not to disobey litterally contradicts the very foundation of starwars, movies where rebels are always the good guys
>the hacker character was pointless
>none of the questions raised in TFA are answered, such as Snoke, where the Mao to Luke came from, or how the orange woman got his lightsaber
>way too quippy.
>Hux is basically the only purely bad character left and he's shown to be a buffoon
>litterally 1 x-wing is able to cripple one of the strongest ships in the first orders fleet
The biggest problem though is the length. This movie is almost 3 hours, but there's really only enough plot progression and character growth for about 40 minutes, the rest is just filler.

no one cares what that washed up liberal thinks

back 2 reddit

Filler, main heroes is in the same state they were at the beginning of the film.
No Character progression but for Kylo, whose motivation is still a mystery, and he is not that threatening as a main bad guy.
Shtting on Luke's arc and legacy
Not explain why you shit on Luke's legacy or why things are the way they are because still no Snoke backstory, and he is crucial in why Luke failed/Ben fell/Empire came back. Who is he, how did he do this and why?

What's the point of IX? I just don't care about any of these character. It will just be Rey talking/fighting to Kylo, and no one else has anything to do. Kylo will just die because he is irredeemable, Rey will continue the Jedi. There is nothing else they can do.

This is sloppier than lucas. I've never walked out of a star wars movie thinking the series couldn't recover from it until this one. The prequels had a decent core that was dragged down by bad CGI and dialog. Everything about TLJ is bad

>muh plebbit
Underage or bait.

lmao fuck off

the prequels had no core, they were just boring fluff about nothing.

last jedi is a decent core dragged down by bad cgi and dialogue

>last jedi is a decent core dragged down by bad cgi and dialogue
>not the other way around
Yeah no, you're absolutely retarded if you actually think this.

>Everything about TLJ is bad
WAAAA THEY KILLED MY 80 YR OLD CHILDHOOD HERO

>you're absolutely retarded if you actually think like most star wars fans who aren't autistic millennial children who imprinted on the nothingquels

They used the original molds from the 80s to make a new Yoda puppet.

The biggest problem is that it fucking kills the universe. How the fuck can there be a next movie with any stakes to it when the bad guys are Admiral Starscream and a conflicted sith that's been bested every time the hero shows up on the screen? What the fuck is there to watch? Another movie were miss perfect wins?

>absolutely irrelevant shitposting from the discussion
Wow you sure showed me.

Nah, the biggest problem is that once Finn and Rose use an X-wing to escape and don't get followed, the chase should be over. Just pack critical personnel onto your remaining X-wings and send them off to get reinforcements.

she has the jedi texts and ghost luke is going to mentor her now dumbass

poe isnt learning to take orders, hes learning saving lives is more important than heroism

the biggest problem might be the casting

none of these people are a harrison ford

i think picking amateur actors was a mistake

the fans is what went wrong

Rian hints that Snoke can still return if they want him to, and how it can affect the powerplay between him and Kylo. It sounds kinda stupid but hey, it's one of Rian's suggestions.

Well for the luke being a hologram issue:
>his decision to help comes after rey fucks off
>his ship is fucked so he can't get off the planet at minutes notice
>how the fuck did he know when to show up, what planet etc? just supeeeeer force sense what planet his sister is on?
>if we assume the contradicting scene is the tree burning (he'd decided to help rey after the r2d2 hologram) then that entire scene wasn't needed and he could have gone with rey in the falcon and fought kylo in person

>entire chase sequence makes no sense
>the first order is a joke and its leader has no precense, every scene hes in is for the sake of comedy. Making the entire conflict a joke in itself.
>luke isnt luke and the director doesnt understand the character arc of the OT.
>casino planet is useless and honestly doesnt make sense. If all the yuppies thrive on war why would none 9f them try to protect their investment in the rebels to keep the war going?
>rey is still a mary sue whos ability to just be good at everything still has no charscter flaws, made even worse by her being a nobody.
>everything is so narrowly focused that the universe seems small
>cgi everywhere and its not even good. Hell rogue one has better cgi than this.
Its a giant mess of a stupid plot wrapped around a directors attempt to give all sw fans a middle finger. Normalfags will act like its some bold new starwars when this was already done multiple times in the eu, only not as retarded.

you're the one shitposting

nobody, literally fucking nobody but the most heavy afflicted retards thought the prequels had a decent core

the backlash against the phantom menace was many times bigger than this, stop revising history underage

Are you a retard? She at the time of TLJ is not a jedi. No formal training, sure she nicked the books but that's it. Can she read the language? Did she magically completely read them, understand them and put them to use in the flight from Luke's rock to Salty Hoth?

That doesn't make sense for poe either. You could be right. My interpretation of him is that he's a rash idiot, but throwing away soldiers would be something he learned years prior. They've apparently been a dwindling force for the last 30 years. If he had a history of suiciding his troops, he'd never have been given any sort of command.

Except I was talking about Last Jedi and nowhere in my post did I mention or praise the prequels . That was a different user you shitposting dingus.

we already got more lightsaber duels than we need you autists

force projection was cool

its even more exciting now that we dont even know how far the lid can be blown on the force, since when the two force messiahs were connected by snoke water got teleported onto kylo

So I wasn't seeing things. Why the fuck did that happen. Force rules being rewritten. Full on teleportation, if lightning is anything to go by force users will be full blown elemental wizards next movie.

Who literally gives a shit about the new characters? Kylo is one upped at every opportunity and rey has no meaningful backstory or internal conflict. The first order is a complete joke who got their greatest warmachine out done by one fighter and one bomber.

Theres nothing to care about in this universe anymore.

Say it again, shill.

my "oh no" moment came 1 minute after the rolling intro where poe wanted to talk to "general hugs"

atleast when marvel do comedy its atleast funny sometimes

"I won't be the last jedi"
what the did you think he meant

tfa: rey is just some girl chosen by the force
9: rey is a jedi

last jedi takes us from here to there, and its good it had some drama to it

how boring would "you passed the first test by finding me, lets train and together we can go kill snoke and kylo" have been

>Except I was talking about Last Jedi and nowhere in my post did I mention or praise the prequels . That was a different user you shitposting dingus.

">last jedi is a decent core dragged down by bad cgi and dialogue
>not the other way around
Yeah no, you're absolutely retarded if you actually think this."

you literally said the prequels had a decent core dragged down by bad cgi and dialogue

either that or you meant the last jedi had good cgi and dialogue, is that really what you meant?

spbp

Why did Phasma had anti-blaster armor?
Why do other top commanders NOT have anti-blaster armor?
How can a force ghost call thunder?
Why didn't Luke call thunder on Kylo?

people have already been doing it user, did you just watch it and miss all the discussion?

"there has been an awakening, the dark side and the light" - powerful force wizard man on the state of the force, 2015
"higher midi chlorian count than master yoda" - ol ben on the potential of skywalker blood (luke, leia, kylo)

how is kylo one upped at every oppurtunity? he literally did what vader started but failed to do, overcome his master and rule the galaxy