HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Time to get litty y'all!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Brody Rogers
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Owen Morgan
Who /RAUNCHY/ here?
Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.
The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.
My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP.
Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB.
When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.
10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again!N
Mason King
"The alt-right are now boosting Jumanji to damage Star Wars" , gawker exclusive
William Kelly
OH NONONONONONO
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Liam Harris
fucking Russians making Jumanji look good
Charles Martinez
Nah, there's just a MASSIVE DISCONNECT between the critics and the FANS. The CRITICS can't get into the RAUNCHY FUN. LITTY. PISS.
David Sanchez
Whatever will they do?
variety.com
>Box Office: ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Blasts to $536 Million Worldwide
Oh, that's right....
Levi Jenkins
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Luis Green
>Jumanji starring The Rock is going to make more money on Christmas than The Last Jedi
lmao
Kayden Harris
>this kills The Mouse
Brayden Kelly
>58% drop off vs TFA's 30%
RIP
Bentley Hill
...
Jayden Peterson
I'm going this weekend, looks like a fun, litty flick, I get to help embarrass the Mouse, plus a little Karen Gillan tummy on the side. Sounds like a good deal.
Parker Martinez
>paying to see a shitty movie
Julian Jenkins
NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE
Carson Edwards
>Movie has already made over a half a billion dollars.
>rest in peace
kek
Landon Smith
>t. TLJ was my favorite movie I saw it 6 times
Jumanji actually looks funny as shit, pleb. It's not trying to be Shakespeare.
Bentley Gutierrez
>i'm a retard communist who has no understanding of how corporations and shareholders work the post
Oliver Howard
>a-at least we made money
F I N I S H E D
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Bentley Rivera
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ayden Roberts
Jack Black is also in it
Robert Rodriguez
/litty/ boy checking the FUCK IN! Me and the #crew are ready for the most raunchy lil' rambunctious jungle romp of the holiday season! We are gonna be PISSING ourselves non-stop thanks to this litty kino! #GetLitty #FansAreLOVINGIT