Normal citizens in comics

ITT We are just normal people in comics.

A friend of mine told me to goto Gotham. He said if I talk to some guy named Falcone I can get a cushy job. Is this a good idea?

My cousin made 1000 just hiding some question mark trophies around the city of Gotham wtf is this shit

thats a bad way to start threads like this.
try to use
"MEANWHILE IN GOTHAM CITY Sup Forums"

I saw that. I went and tried to pick it up and I got shocked

that would imply that there are super heroes in this situation

Good for you, user. Where are you now? Let's talk about that

not really. These threads go on all the time in Sup Forums for various different games.
"meanwhile in usg Sup Forumsshimura"
"meanwhile in mother base Sup Forums"
the idea is it's pretending to be a board for people who live in said area

>A friend of mine told me to goto Gotham.

Your friend wants you dead.

why would he do that? We've been friends of 10 years.

These metahuman freaks are a terrible influence.

I mean, my God, do you see the way they dress? If it ain't skintight, showing off every scintillating curve and bulging muscle, they're damn near naked!

"Wonder" Woman, pffft. It's a wonder how she sleeps at night, the tramp.

Oh, I don't know. A lot of them seem pretty okay to me. But you know what I really hate? MUTANTS! Seriously, FUCK those guys!

All those budging muscles, nice big package, nice hair. Admit it user, you want a super ass pounding.

What for? I already get fucked enough by the brass at LexCorp.

Nah, I'm just kidding. It's an okay gig. Luthor seems like a cool guy for a smart-aleck businessman. I dunno what it is, but I was always put off by brainiacs.

kek

Most people with a higher IQ normally are smartass smuggy people when you really get to know them. I know this one dude, black, really smart, he works in Star City. Talks about his boyfriend all the time and how they will change the world.

SO many god damn puns.

and they want to go to school with are children?

Fucking muties stole my job

Gotham? Why on earth would you want to move there? I ain't going to no city where there is a crazy clown killer. I'll be staying in Star City, Flash actually keeps us folk safe.

>star city
>the Flash
you wanna try that again?

I bet you secretly like to dress like a whore

Here on Earth 316, The Flash works in Star City

God, that scene was so cringey.

Falcone and his criminal operations are vox populi.

Really wish the GCPD would just shoot the Batman and be done with that lunatic. I mean, you ask me, it's obvious every other costumed criminal nutjob in this town is just following his footsteps. He's a menace, that's what he is.

Did you see they had a mutie kissing a human in the background of some kids cartoon? It's sick the way [[[they]]]* are brainwashing normal people.
For the bluepills reading this... [[[they]]] = Skrulls

Do you not remember when Batman disappeared? Gotham got EVEN worse

Thankfully Senator Kelly is hard at work to make the genepool great again.

That's just what he wanted you to believe.
He was definitely behind it all.
Don't you see?
He pretended to leave the town so he could create the illusion that we need him. He was probably running all the high profile heists that happened at the time, to fund his sick operation.
WE HAVE TO STOP HIM, PEOPLE!

GET THIS NUTTER OUT OF HERE!

>live in Gotham
>ger mugged daily
>one day Batgirl comes in kicks and the muggers ass
>as she leaves scream "Show me dem tits baby"
>she doesn't
>get a new job at Central City
>move out of Gotham
>the freeway out gets blocked off by the Joker for some reason
>starts pumping gas on to the road
>everyone runs out of their cars
>just sit there waiting for death
>Batgirl smashes my window and pulls me out
>puts me behind the police barricade with the other people she saved
>she puts me down and before she flies off ask "can show me you ass?"
>she looks at me with disgust and punches me
>wake up a few hours later
What a bitch

Ok. Serious talk though.
I think I've cracked Batman's identity.
Please don't overreact. It's pretty heavy.

I'm 100% certain that Jack Ryder is the Batman

I want to know why the hell the Joker and Batgirl were doing in Central City? Where the fuck was the Flash?

What makes you say that?

Eh, he doesn't seem creepy enough to be The Bat.

Speaking of Luthor, I have a weird story to tell.

I work as a receptionist at Lexcorp tower. The other day, something really weird happened.

It was a normal day like any other, but then suddenly bossman walks through the front door, and he's pushing this cart laden with cakes. I'd say there were at least 40 of them. He doesn't say anything or look at anyone, he just pushes this cart to his private elevator, gets in, and closes the doors.

What was all that about? Pretty sure there weren't any birthdays among employees that day.

I FUCKING HATE MUTANTS but I love Spider-Man!

Hey guys Poison Ivy said she'd fuck me if I let her "plant her children in my body". Is this just just some tumblr sjw fetish shit?? Wat do

user, Marvel citizens hate the X-Men and Spider-Man but love the Avengers. Get it straight.

Spider-Man is a menace! Only the Bugle is smart enough to realize that. You oughta buy it for some real news.

What's up with criminals who commit their crimes in the DAY time? Amiright?

Why would you even DO that? That's stupid. We can all agree that's stupid. EVERYONE knows the night is the perfect time to break the law. Only a fool doesn't know that.

I think my computer has a virus guys. Every now and then, my screen goes blank, and a weird symbol pops up for a few seconds. I managed to get a screencap, anyone recognize what it might be?

I dunno, I mean The Flash is a pretty cool guy. Ever seen a Green Lantern? Now those guys, they pretty sweet.

Make way for the homo superior while your species goes the way of the caveman.

I've totally been right where you are.
Like, for real. You can trust me.
I've done it a couple times. She's a friend of mine.
The... uhm... The sex is amazing. Yeah.
Do what she says. You won't regret it.
Nothing bad will happen.

Hi, Lois Lane of the Daily Planet, can you tell me more about this experiment?
How does it work?
What will happen?
Is this a new way to help people who have lost a limb like fighting over seas or to cancer?

Hey Mr. Wayne!
Care to adopt me?
I'm a 11 year old dark-haird boy orphan and I just know I could help you...

...you know...

...take the loneliness away...

Half of you people are alright, don't go to Gotham Second National Bank tomorrow.

fuck I forgot to delete username

And why's that?

Anyone ever been on mutant-sluts.com?

Thought I was gonna see some mutie bitches get fucked but it turns out it's just chicks painted blue. What a ripoff.

Where did my new people go?

Hey guys,

Loneliness + Alienation + Fear + Despair + Self-Worth ÷ Mockery ÷ Condemnation ÷ Misunderstanding x Guilt x Shame x Failure x Judgment n=y Where y=Hope and n=Folly, Love=Lies, Life=Death, Self=Darkseid

Must. Preorder.

Bane?

Has anyone seen Bane?

DIE FOR DARKSEID!

Fuck off Sup Forums

>implying Adblock doesn't catch memetic viruses

>move out of Gotham
>the freeway out

Okay, so something really weird happened to me several years ago. Like, it was trippy.

>Be me
>Live in NYC for a gig I got as a painter and move into a not-bad apartment
>Its got a nice view that I can walk out and stare at.
>One day, I set up my canvas and get my brushes to paint with glorious Bob Ross
>I have no yellow ochre paint, but I make do
>then, suddenly, the hungers gods strike my stomach as it lets out a monstruous growl
>needtoeat.jpg
>I can't find my wallet though
>Fuck.
>In my sorrow, I walk out to stare at the city skyline, needing to clear my head
>step out
>There's a stack of pizza on a ledge.
>No, literaly a whole fucking stack of pizza boxes, and they were just fucking made too!
>Like, you could see them steam, they were still hot.
>Fuck they smelled like haven
>I stare up at the sky
>Is this God telling me something?
>Should I go to church?
>I don't care, I just want dat peetzer.
>I open up a box
>Smells like PURE SEX
>It's incredible.
>I grab myself a slice, staring at it appreciatively.
>This pizza, lemme tell ya...
>It was special...
>However, right as I'm about to take a bite, the fucking pizza boxes fly the fuck away.
>ITS FUCKING SPIDER-MAN.
>WHAT THE SHIT.
>Was I stealing his pizza?
>DId he steal MY pizza?
>To this day, I don't know
>Fuck it, I still have the one slice, right?
>lelnope.jpg
>Fucking SPiderman fires his fuck web-cum whatevers and steals that too.
>I eventually ordered pizza later, but the kid delivering it was fucking late.
>Fucking heroes, man.

Comic citizens are entitled and annoying

I always knew that guy was a fucking menace. He probably put those pizzas there just to fuck with you.

Friendly reminder that Gotham is a cesspool and was built on cursed land and no one sane would actually live there.

Signed your neighbor from the city across the bay: Metropolis.

Holy shit, that Blades game a week ago. That was brutal.

If I pray to Darkseid enough do you think he'll spare Earth?

who /opalcity/ in here?

So, uh... This is kinda embarrassing... But I ordered some 'liquid lubricant' from Bad Dragon... Roughly 30 gallons... But when the shipment got to my home it turns out the delivery guy sold off the wrong shipment and offered me %50 of the original costs PLUS the mixed up shipment to keep quiet.

So long story short, I have about 30 gallons of this "Renuyu" facial cream and I don't know what to do with it.

Can I jerk off with it?

So this building fell on me and broke both my legs.

Should I sue Superman?

I want to know HOW you would. I say take spray paint to all the statues of him and fuck them over

Guys, does anyone know much about the Gotham sewer system? I got a new job cleaning the place up. The pay isn't bad, but I keep hearing rumors, and the place is like a labyrinth.

Also, why is it so huge? I swear, I'm not a small guy, but it feels like I should stand on my own shoulders before hitting the roof in some places.

I don't think that's a good idea. I saw and FELT what Superman did to Zod when he was trying to zap my family. I'm still deaf in my right ear from the sonic boom and my kid died of straight up SHOCK.

Now what do you think that fucker will do to you if you fuck with his shit?

GOD could you imagine the insurance policies in comics in general? Jesus christ. They would be out the fucking roof

user get out right now

I'd love to, but the pay is really good. Apparently the last guy bailed on the job, and they needed someone to fill the position ASAP. It's been hard to find a stable job since moving here, so I don't want to give this one up too easily. Besides, it's not so bad. I kind of like a job away from people.

The idea of Matt Hagen just having gallons of dragon cum poured over him instead of the cream stuff is hilarious.

FYI

Insurance companies are aware of people using the Superman incident to get a quick buck and claim all sorts of injuries and damage.

this mind sound dodgy as fuck, but go to Gotham Academy. Find the grounds keeper, slip him a fifty and tell him you "want to speak to Maps"
You'll be introduced to this crazy good cartographer who can draw you up a guide on which parts of the sewer to avoid

I think i had a bad experience with him once.

>About to head on the road
>Want to have a good time with the fellas at the local bar
>Tend to be a bit of an asshole when i'm drunk, i'm working on it
>9/10 qt brings us our drinks and i start to flirt
>She's not having it
>queuethewhiteknight.jpg
>Gets in my face and tells me to GTFO
>Pour my drink on his head
>He's looking ready to tussle, so i push him
>nope.jpg didn't move a fucking inch
>Think nothing of it cause he was a pretty big dude
>He walks away, and i throw my buddy's can at him because fuck that guy.
>A few hours later, i'm sobered up enough to drive, so i head out
>My truck is completely fucked beyond belief, like a hurricane bitch-slapped it

Looking back, it had to have been him, no other way.

>lives in NYC downtown
>survies tsunami from some magnetic guy
>dies with the rest of the earth when othe earth crashes in
why

>Earth 316
you wanna try that again?

the only people who go to gotham are the insane, and idiot college students doing their spring break 'Gothfaze' hazing ritual

Okay, now I know this'll sound crazy as all Hell here, but you know the night that Superman and Batman fought that big monster thing? There was the gal there too, wonder gal or something, and they all destroyed that completely uninhabited area? Yeah, well I work at the Daily Planet and do all the obituary junk. Well, some guy a couple floors up, a reporter, died the VERY SAME NIGHT! Louis Lane herself comes in all teary eyed and shit, tells me to write him up something nice and gives me a picture of the guy.

Now here's where the shit gets real. I'm looking at this photo and he looks EXACTLY like Superman. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT! 1 TO FUCKING 1! I think I might be onto something , guys, especially since we haven't see ass nor head of supe's since that night...

What do you guys think?

why muties are so autistic. yeah you can make clouds, yeah you can jump. so what? cant you act like a regular person?

>muh genes
>muh depression


also the fuck is wrong with that kike hitler?

You know, now that I think about it, with all those factories and buildings and what not, what does Gotham even produce? I never hear about exports.

>ALIENS ARE INVADING THE WORLD

Spider-Man
>LIKING AN ARROGANT EDGY FAG

how old is he anyway?

they produce raw materials to repair and replace the building regularly blow up by supervillains

if you ask me the whole thing is just one big racket on the part of the construction companies

my dad happened to have some shares in a brick manufacturing company based in Gotham when that huge earthquake hit. he sold half right after and became a millionaire

Guys I was walking home from work last night and I could've sworn I heard something HUGE in the Gotham sewer system. Whatever it was I think it was watching me for a moment because I saw these weird steam puffs come out of the storm drains running parallel to me as I walked.

I called animal control when I got home last night but the guys still havent come back.

Im scared guys what do?

I kinda fancy that chick the Joker always has with him.
How do I get her to notice me?

It was Killer Croc and he was going to eat you. You should let him because Killer Croc is cool and ur a faget

is this a fucking selfie?

we all have to die someday

Be a redheaded pansexual slut or a pale skinny flamboyant psychopath

;^)

>tfw homeless in Gotham
Anyone know if any of the bosses are looking for guys?
I can't get a legit job with no address.

Fuck fuck fuck I need to get out of town. Now.

Oh dear god please let it not be him.

....fuck

Go work for Wayne Ent. if you have any skills, and a clean record. You don't have to waste your life being some crazy's bitch until he/she decides you're "not needed anymore".

Anyone else faps to the clown girl or the cat lady?


Sometime I go to rooftop and fap for hours....

I hear The Carpenter is looking for a new apprentice after the last one tried using a glue gun for autoerotic asphyxiation and suffocated

I once got caught by Batgirl. She was apparently mad at her boyfriend who wears all black and blue. Wing Night or something. She told me not to stop and to finish. I told her it was too awkward and then she said "fuck it I'll do it" I know it's totally unbelievable but it fuckin happened!

>clean record
Nope.
I've seen those adds, that just might work out.

>the clown girl
How about 10+ of us guys surround her and go to town on her? She's a criminal. It's not like anybody will care.

>fapping
m8 I fucked the clown girl. that's me behind the overturned table

Why the fuck were you dressed like a serial killer in a room full of other people dressed as the same serial killer?