ITT: we try to rewrite the new star wars

ITT: we try to rewrite the new star wars

anybody has any ideas?

Rey is played by leslie jones

Luke is played by leslie jones

Chewbacca is played by...wait, isn't he already played by Leslie Jones?

Im thinking

>new republic is established with Leia as one of the leaders
>the new sith is in hiding and is trying to scheme its way into dominance
>luke is out and about trying to fight the sith
>Han ran into Rey on Jakku and saw that she can use the force
>Han asked Rey to come with him
>they go no adventures together

>New Republic 30 years latter. Everything is peaceful. Han is still a general and a war hero, Leia is a senator of the planet New Alderan, Luke has his Jedi Temple. However, Darth Plagus has regenerated and has organized The First Order into an ISIS like terror group. They are small but are avasting an army from outside the galaxy. Ben Solo will probably be in this story too on the dark side and Luke’s daughter Jade/Rey Skywalker must fight to rescue her father. They meet Poe and some new alien character and they form a trio!

>new jedi order with luke as grandmaster
>new dark siders around the galaxy fucking shit up for fun

At least for the Last Jedi, cut everything not directly pertaining to Rey,Snoke, Luke, and Ren.

Here's 3 (You)s can I get you anything else?

Rey gets drunk with power and Kylo has to stop her and save the galaxy.

I'm sure that would actual kill some SJWs in real life.

>empire is crumbling but so is the rebellion
>after emperor dies the empire fractured
>rebels lack recruits as everyone thinks the threat is gone with the emperor dead

>build up an enemy throughout 3 more films
>mark hamill gets jacked
>plays luke as a badass jedi master
>teaches a small team of jedi trainees

>han dies in the first one
>leia dies in the second
>if mark still wants to do the flicks, luke lives

>terrorism subplot

Disney execs would never allow this

>Han is still a general and a war hero

there's no way Han would settle for a political job

Actual character development
Buildup to events which actually matter

Can't just give snoke the badass music and expect ,me to give a shit about him
Actually have rey break a sweat learning some shit

With neither the emperor/empire nor the jedi to suppress force users in general anymore there should be wild talents and new orders/doctrines of force practice arising from said wild talents. Luke probably should have been more invested in gathering/documenting them than anything else. What was left of the Empire should have become a neutral force without the emperor that was more worried about preventing further deterioration than anything else. The story should probably be about a BBEG being more of a warlord/pirate playing cards with and trying to take advantage of the breaking empire and new republic both being in vulnerable/suggestive states. Less is more, keep the problem localized to a single system, and the problem not being galactic in scale just spanning a system or two. Only connection to original should have been a kid or two of the original's characters being part of it, but even then they should not be the main characters so much as taking a supportive role.

still be a shit movie

I mean the idea of Luke's Jedi Academy being destroyed by Han's son who ultimately kills Han and challenges Luke is great. But it was poorly executed and mostly off screen.

I legitimately think this will be the plot of the third one

Building off of this user's start:
>FO has been striking at the edges of NR space, Ben and Luke argue whether or not Jedi should be dispatched to repulse the FO incursions.
>Ben strikes out on his own against Luke's warning and is capture, he is brought deep into wild space and is shown to a shadowed figure at the FO base.
>He tries to attac but is rendered completely immobile, no matter how much he fights he is simply overwhelmed.
>"Who are you, how are you so much stronger than a Jedi?"
>"Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"
Back to the New Republic's perspective.
>FO attacks have been increasing in frequency, Luke it interrupted while training Rey and is told a distress call from the edge of NR space, the FO has mobilized a sizable fleet of upgraded warships and appears to be ready for war.
>Luke rushes off to pick up Han, they use their influence to call together a fleet to stalemate the FO.
Switch to the FO flagship.
>The unknown Sith Lord trains Ben who is struggling to lift a starfighter, the Sith strikes Ben with lightning and Ben throws it up into the ceiling of the hangar, crushing it.
>The Sith Lord explains that to fully harness the power of the force you must lash out with your emotions, the Jedi are weak because they hold back and he compares this to the New Republic.

>The two fleets meet and clash, the FO quickly gain the upper hand by sacrificing some of their smaller ships. Luke and Han board the FO's flagship but the Sith Lord is nowhere to be found, Han confronts Ben and implores him to come home. Ben refuses and kills Han saying that the only way for him to grow stronger is to sacrifice those things he cares about the most.
>Luke and Ben clash, Ben is freshly empowered by the Dark Side and Luke is forced to retreat, the haphazard New Republic fleet is routed.
>Movie ends on a somber note with Han's funeral, the Unnamed Sith congratulates Ben on his first step to the power of the Dark Side.

SHUT IT DOWN MOUSE THEY'RE ON TO US

The best part of OT is Empire. The best part of PT are lone Jedis, so let's combine these two.
The first movie is set right after the OT and tells the story of a downfall of the remnants of Empire army. Main character is an imperial admiral desperately struggling against the Rebel fleet. Basically it's whole OT from the standpoint of Empire who are allowed to have some humanity. There is also some random Sith on admiral's ship and remnants of 501st legion (viewer is introduced to their backstory) who sacrifice themselves halfway through. In the end admiral has to surrender and gets imprisoned and Sith runs away. Second two movies are 30 ABY and focus on adventures of a young Jedi (probably Luke's padawan) searching for aforementioned Sith. In the process he frees the admiral from prison (admiral deeply hates the New Republic but still agrees to help because he's also angry at Sith or has some other motives), they also stumble upon private detective searching for that Sith (it's implied that he might be a Sith in disguise, but it turns out he is either another Jedi or just some fucko), friendship ensues. Characters from OT make cameos to show that they're doing fine, Han is a military general, Lando does Lando things and Luke teaches at Academy or Jedi Temple. You might kill them off throughouth the movie if you are an incompetent writer who can't build suspence any other way, I dunno. Obviously, heroes unravel that a sith had a complex plot to dominate the world once again relying on New Republic and Luke's naivity. In the end they find the sith and destroy his evil plans because we need a happy end for Star Wars saga.

>flashbacks to kylo in lukes academy
>kylo is a loner. Separates himself from the rest of the class
>they treat him like the school shooter
>luke tries to be a neutral mediator throughout and kylo is upset he won't protect him as his uncle
>students go full metal jacket on kylo
>kylo snaps and goes school shooter on the academy
>luke can't pick sides and is frozen in uncertainty as his students destroy each other
>exiles himself after.

It's not that hard Disney. For fucks sake

Dont do another "empire vs rebels" story, doing that again but BIGGER is just fucking lame and invalidates the previous movies accomplishments.
>we want to do something different
>but were going to do the exact same thing again

Do something with this new order they have established after the OT where there is no Nazi regime anymore and people are rebuilding, its years later in a state of peace. Stormtroopers and all that shit are gone, at most well see some characters wearing armour that is old and busted like Boba Fetts armour is, but its just an old stormtrooper, instead of there being a death star the first order are a secret organisation with Sith among their ranks, who are waiting for the right time and place to strike and rise up again, they are looking for jedi to take under their wing to bolster their power, our hero gets involved and has to stop them with the help of people they meet along the way. We actually get to see what the fuck the universe is doing outside of the war, and fights are more small scale between groups of people, not whole armies.

Have Luke be in a with 12 foot or more alien penises hanging from the ceiling, and he has to swing like Tarzan from penis to penis and all he has to drink is cave alien jizz. At the end he makes it out of the cave then turns around and goes back in.

Hux is a cool older military guy that takes Kylo under his wing, but is manipulating him just for his considerable force powers.

Trump essentially is born into immaculate conception like Anakin but as a dark side prodigy, then later makes a turn to the light side and redeems himself and overthrows the evil leftist empire

They did some shit setup then

Make the movie about Kylo ren's character. His rise as a Jedi, the fall and creation of the knights of Ren. His then decisions to kill and become the new supreme leader of the first order. That story is far more interesting then Rey's shit. Plus Adam driver kills it in his performances.

it’s really easy to come up with interesting and logical things to do with rey/kylo/luke but pretty fucking hard with the rest of the garbage characters/situations desu

I want them to spend at least as long to characterise Rey as they did with Luke and family in ANH. There's a lot of supplementary material about her that you don't see in the movies that would actually humanise her.

>loves flowers, has a vase of withered flower at home
>loves fairy tale, dream of being someone like Luke Skywalker and go on amazing adventures. Wears that rebel pilot helmet, plays around with a doll of the pilot, flys x-wing simulator on salvaged computer in her spare time
>sneaks into the spacecraft junk yard to fly them for fun when no one is looking, hence why she can pilot and knows the Falcon parked there is an unreliable piece of junk
>wants to leave Jakku to go onto bigger and better things, but unable to accept that her parents left her in a shithole and move on

Copy the story from the legacy of the force series 100%

Han / Leia have twins, one is good and one is evil

The evil one becomes emperor of the empire.

Evil twin dethroned by the good twin and killed.

Leia is secretly seduced by the dark side and becomes the new sith lord, following in her dads footsteps. Follow the same footsteps as Episode 1 of the new young Jedi, trained by Luke (possibly due a Qui Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan dynamic with Luke/new Jedi even), look for this sith lord (Luke detects a dark force, maybe knows its leia but is in denial)

End of the movie ends with Leia betraying Luke and killing him in front of the new young padawan, the padawan runs away to train with force-ghost Anakin/Luke/Obi-Wan/Yoda until he is called back to help his friends in Episode 2.

Episode 3 ends with Leia's redemption arc or some shit

Disregard TFA and make a trilogy based on Timothy Zahns Thrawn trilogy.

the new trilogy is good so far lol u guys r morons

Episode 7

>after the Empire's destruction and the destruction of much of the rebel fleet, the galaxy has no ruling force for the first time in a long time
>an arm's race takes place as different star systems want to come out as top dog, the empire's resources are all taken over
>gang groups like the Hutt family gain significant power through these arms deals and chaos ensues
>Luke realizes that the empire was in some way a necessary evil to keep peace in the galaxy
>Luke proceeds to take the rebellion and set up base where he will find and train the next generation of Jedi to restore peace and strengthen the rebellion
>Leia begins training as well. Han and Leia have a child.
>The Trade Federation is shown to have massive stores of battle droids and war machines as seen in Episode 1, still hidden from the empire and the republic all these years
>with funding from terrorist groups, they come out as the ruling force
>Luke tries to be diplomatic with them but ultimately they declare war against the rebellion.
>The Trade Federation launches a massive strike against the rebellion, killing most everyone including Solo
>Leia loses her child and leaves Luke to mourn
>Sheev appears to her as a force ghost and tells her he can resurrect her lost child
>Leia becomes a recluse as a Sith Lord
>Luke works at rebuilding the rebellion, all the while feeling a disturbance in the force

>Adam driver

he's kinda an uggo tho

Bumping before I effortpost. I've been thinking on this for awhile, so strap in, you magnificent niggers.

EPISODE 7
>60 years have passed since Luke Skywalker defeats the emperor and bring balance to the force. A new republic now stand replacing the old galactic empire.
>Luke's son, Ben Skywalker is the new head of the jedi order. No longer involved in politics, they are a religious warrior order/ronin performing noble deed protecting the galaxy from evil forces intend to break it apart.
>Among the new padawan, is Rey, a strong but unskilled female force user, a free spirit, she constantly break the rule and get in trouble, though she constantly find solution through unconventional way (kinda like Anakin). She is constantly at odds with Jake Skywalker, Ben's son and the most skilled of the young padawan (but also a very strict, to-the-book, and kinda snarky man, basically the new young Obi-Wan)
>The galaxy first line of protection is an intergalactic cop. Poe and Finn are a member of it. (Poe will be Rey's love interest here)
>The first enemy they face will be a mysterious group of terrorist, claiming they are trying to resurrect the Sith empire.
>The main sith villain is a young female and a mysterious masked man (Kylo Ren). The female will be the more active villain, Kylo will only fight Ben during the climax.
>We will also see how the new republic works, how there is still stigma towards non-humanoid alien & droids (they are viewed as bad, thanks to the Clone Wars)
>Movie ends with our hero saving the day, but both sith villains escape.

there must be balance with the force and luke defeated the last of the Sith .so fate creates a giant or sith monster thing to try to bring balance or take over the galaxy or something.

Like this a lot. Good job. Fuck Disney

Cont.
EPISODE 8
>Movie will be the first to be more 'sith-centric' delving into their lore, power, etc
>Darth Plagueis revealed as the main villain behind ep. 7 (he is immortal and changing his body to survive)
>Kylo Ren will be revealed as Palpatine's grandson (joining Plagueis after constant suffering he received thanks to his origin, even though he despises Palpatine)
>Luke will appear here as a force ghost, playing Obi Wan/Yoda's role
>Rey matured up and begin to accept her responsibility as a jedi knight.
>There will be a sub-plot about a science vs spiritual group (peoples who think midichlorians as the true source of power and want to use it through scientific ways and the jedi who is more spiritual)
>There will be a big space battle here, the sith army will try to take some of the weaker planet (their army is small but strong)
>Ben Skywalker will confront Plagueis, there it will be revealed that his masterplan is to wipe out all living beings, by returning them into their basic life essence, the force itself.
>Plagueis after witnessing the fall of Palpatine realizes the way of the sith is flawed too. He believes free will is evil and the only way for peace to be achieved is by wiping out everything and recreate life from the beginning, which will be under his control.

Cont.
>Ben will attempt to fight Plagueis but fail, and turned into force ghost
>The female sith, Finn and several other main characters from episode 7 will die here
>Kylo Ren witnessing his female friend's death finally embrace the dark side (there will be a scene where he takes down a space destroyer using the force)
>Movie ends in a bleak note, but there is still promise for the survivor to fight back and prevent Plagueis plan
>The conflict sub-plot about non-humanoid aliens, jedi vs scientist will be solved will be put on halt as they are forced to work together to save the galaxy again.

>Farse Awakens

I keep forgetting that Hux is even a thing. There are literally no Sith/space fash waifus in Stars Wars. It's bullsihit. So now, Hux is female.

Instead of Phasma betraying The Fo, Finn sneaks in and disables the shields but gets killed by Phasma.

>TLJ

This one requires more fixing.

>no Finn, so no Rose and Casino planet subplot trimmed down

>Rey trains with Luke but he gets spooked by her power and send her away. This royally pisses her off

>We see dark side training with Snoke and Kylo. Snoke tells him about his previous apprentice, and we see him train a red-haired boy in flashback


>Phasma is absolutely badass and wrecks real scum John Wick style. Poe Flys around and shit

>Rey hunts down info on Snoke, goes to casino planet

>finds out Snoke's wealth comes from a vault on Munnilist

>Kylo is tempted by the light since Snoke treats him even worse than Luke. He dreads having to kill his mother

>Rey goes to Munnilist and finds Snoke's vault. She finds a stash of holocrons. These are dark side holocrons but she doesn't know that. Still passed at Luke, she uses her anger and is instructed by these holocrons, which could have Sith like Bane and Zhannah

>one holocron is Snoke

>oh shit nigger what

>Snoke is Plaeguis

>Snoke finds Rey, offers apprenticeship

>Rey's parents were Imperials. They dropped on Jacku to protect her

>The rebels shot them as they begged for Mercy

>Snoke offers Darth Zhannah's lightsaber, Rey takes it

>Darth Rey is born motherfuckers

>Snoke executes order 66 on Kylo

>he narrowly escapes and seeks out Luke

>ep X

>butch of shit idk yet happens, probably Plaeguis flashbacks

>Rey X Phasma happens

>Luke narrowly defeats Snoke

>Kylo battles fem!Hux. Kills her but gets wounded

>Rey kills Kylo

>Luke overpowers Rey

>Rey mind tricks him subtlely

>BAM, Phasma blasts Luke

>Phasma and Rey rule new empire

>The good side finally wins for once

NO

Luke, now an old Jedi who has trained many, begins to worry because he hasn't yet mastered the ability to have force afterlife.

TWO WORDS
TIME TRAVEL

They should have just adapted the Zhanah/Bane trilogy.

The entire plot is unsalvageable and needs to be ditched.

Also, repeat of the same basic plot cannot possibly be good. No concept for characters needed to replace Palpatine and Vader would ever compare favorably with the originals. At the very least, the idea of yet another Empire led by super Dark Side user fucking shit up across the Galaxy needs to be given rest for at least a trilogy, so OT characters would not look like abject failures.

Instead, have adventures of Solo kids, now a students in Luke's Jedi academy (the idea was such an obvious way to print money and pull in new audience that I'm still baffled they haven't used it). Teenage hormones added to immense potential should create enough of a threat of corruption without not-Sith Lords lurking everywhere. The villains are a group of alien demagogues who preaches hatred against Force users and humans in general, as ones being responsible for the Empire, and their cybernetically enhanced hitmen.