You've been hired to work for one Batman villain

You've been hired to work for one Batman villain.

Which one do you pick and why? No, you can't fuck Harley or Poison Ivy.

Calendar Man

Bruce Wayne. I hear Wayne Enterprise pays well and has good hours.

Bruce Wayne isn't a villain.

Catwoman.
Just burglary, so I won't rot in prison forver, and I don't hink she has ever offed a henchguy.

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Riddler or Great White Shark. Maybe Penguin. Anyone who wouldn't kill you for trying to quit.

Owlman, duh. Chicks on Earth-3 are way easier.

Mr. Freeze. Cold doesn't bother me and he seems to be an alright guy.

At least can i fuck Baby Doll?

Lord Death Man. I want to be a skeleton ninja.

Penguin. And not the monster designed Penguin either, fuck that one.

All big businessmen are villains in one way or another.

>Baby Doll, a failed actress, resorts to a life of crime
>doesn't make millions as a porn actress who looks like a kid

Japan alone would leave her set for life.

They didn't say you cant. Im working with Baby Doll

Penguin might be a bad choice.

We all live the human condition, but this man speaks it.

i would love working for that penguin, just being able to toss ideas around with a mind like that would be payment for me.

>"This stupid fucking git thinks he's the brains of the operation"
>"Let's see how smart he is with his mother suffering one of his 'smart plans'"

Mr. Freeze. I'm a sucker for a love story and a comfy winter day.

I'm sure one day he'll go too far and Batman will bring him to justice.

That depends on your point of view.

Rather than invest the millions of dollars he spends on all his wonderful toys into Gotham City and beyond, Bruce Wayne uses that money to arguably worsen the city by being Batman and thus causing a continual escalation in crime. And for all his charitable donations, Wayne's philanthropy has never really done much to improve the average quality of life within Gotham City. He may make life better for a few people, sure, but there is no reason to believe that will last forever.

Bruce Wayne is as much a villain of Gotham City as The Joker. But where The Joker directly kills people for the sheer thrill, Wayne indirectly kills people because he cannot be bothered to give a damn. So if I am going to work for any villain, it is going to be Bruce Wayne, because that son of a bitch at least provides a good dental plan.

nah, i'll let him know upfront everything i think will be only for his use. i have no need or use in ratting him out and the better off he does the better off i do. i'd take publicly silent partnership and if he needs i'll take the rap if he gets caught. a mind like that needs to be allowed to flower and grow.

>Bruce Wayne is Batman

WELL WHO ELSE HAS THE RESOURCES TO BE THE BATMAN, HUH?

What, you think I'd work for Joker or Twoface? At least I could be a super-lowly employee at one of his legitimate businesses and never cross paths with the man.

The Royal Flush Gang, classic gangland principles but a little bit above. Unlikely to have anyone kill me for funsies, so any death/dismemberment would be my own fault.

Selina Kyle

Whoever Mariam is working for.

Who the hell is Bruce Wayne?

You didn't say I couldn't fuck the male villains.

Does amanda wahler count as a villain? i could use some govt benefits

>Poison Ivy

I can't fuck her but I'd still work for her.

>Mariamfags

Pepe's dead, man.

Pepe's dead.

I think mister Freeze would be the least likely to throw an autistic shitfit and kill me over something stupid, and that really is the name of the game for this question.

Imagine the rashes you'd get from fucking her.

That just means you'll be feeling her warmth for longer.

you wouldn't, sex with ivy is death to all who don't have immunity to her poisons and toxins.

>Ivy will never cream pure poison right into your dick.

If I work for Riddler he'll probably just send me around planting clues around places right? All I have to worry about is Batman occasionally beating the shit out of me to get information. And if I give it up quick he may only punch me once.

I don't recall tas Selena ever employing henchmen.

Killer Croc.

And what about when the Riddler gets out of Arkham and goes full jigsaw on you for ratting one too many times?

oh yeah. I was confusing her with the girl from cats can't dance, who was an actual kid. but that's way hotter.

I'd just stroke his ego and say that I spilled the beans because the riddles were too good and I knew Batman could never solve them himself.

At least now we know why she never appeared in anything else.

come on user, a super rich man, who strangely disappears a lot? I guarantee you hes at least a part of some underground mafia, and I bet batman has foiled his plans tons of times. He'd definitely want revenge on batman, he'd be down to be part of a plan to get rid of the batman once and for all.

Killer Moth.

I can see Mothy being the kind of guy who actually cares about his minions or would just be happy to have anyone work with him. Maybe I can even give him advice and help him become a bigger threat.

Fuck you that is the best one

Gotta go with Penguin. And not that shitty Arkham one.
He's not nice but he tends to avoid messing with Batman and the other freaks whenever possible, and he's loaded with cash. I just have to not get on his bad side and mock him.

bruce wayne is clearly the joker.

I guess but he works in shitty conditions and he barely even commits crime since he throws all his resources in his research and to keep Nora alive, so he probably doesn't pay well.

Clock King is probably the best bet for not randomly killing me.

Though Mad Hatter lackies might get nifty hypno cards as a bonus.

According to D.A.V.E. there is one other person in Gotham who can do that.

Red Hood because good protection.

I'd be worried about some unavoidable failure resulting in me getting fed to a monstrously huge man eating moa bird or something. Or that big ass condor from Batman in my basement. Penguin does shit like that.

At least it's not Pam though. Giant pitcher plant is a bad way to go.

Two-Face isn't even that bad compared to The Penguin.
Statistically half the time anyway.
And he generally doesn't seem to mistreat his goons unless the situation calls for it, and even then there's a coin flip.

Given her issues, I'm fairly certain she would appreciate the companionship.

And I could probably find some way to fuck her.

The correct answer is Rupert Thorne. Why? Because he's a regular crime boss and not a freak with a gimmick and a mental condition that might randomly kill you to prove a point. No costume no theme, just normal gangster stuff.

All you have to do is not be Clayface.

Ten-Eyed Man

Hasn't Red Hood become more of an Anti-hero as of late or am I mistaking OOC stuff for canon?

Baby Doll is a pretty obvious choice. I doubt she pays well and in reality she probably looks like a gross creepy midget with underdeveloped features but I can deal.

Penguin isn't really the kind who kills goons for failure. He has a hair trigger temper but he has to keep his organization alive. Remember, he fancies himself as a gentleman thief, and these don't kill people for failing them. He isn't The Joker.
He'd probably smack you with an umbrella and insult you with fruity language and an incorrect Shakespeare quote, but unless you fuck with him or his birds, you should be okay.
And half the time he is just going to ask you to follow him on some dumb quest to rob some jewelry or hijack a plane or even free some birds from the zoo.

Until someone like the Phantasm starts picking off his guys.

Regular criminals in Gotham tend to get chewed up in internal conflicts, if my recollection of Gotham Central and Hitman are anything to go by.

Is there literally any reason why someone would work for The Joker ?
It seems like they never bother to explain why people work for him unless those goons are insane circus freaks.
He's not that rich (and TDK Joker even does stupid shit like burn money), his plans always fail, he is the worst boss in all of Gotham, Batman is on his ass more so than any other villain.

Joker's not the choice for pragmatic people. It's for people easily drawn in by charisma, or people who see him as the antithesis to the status quo of authority, shit like that.

So his employees are edgy Joker fanboys.
Okay, that makes sense.

Or people who are stupid enough to think that working for the most feared and influential villain in town is automatically the best route.

Reminds me of how he took over the Joker gang in Beyond. People idolize him, romanticize his antics, and by the time they figure out they're busting their ass twice as hard for practically no reward working for a deranged sociopath it is too late. Leaving might mean a fatal joy buzzer or exploding whoopie cushion down the line.

That or having the balls to beat him at his own crazy game. Speaking of which I bet a fair amount of them never had the option to turn down working for the Joker.

Ra's because I hate myself

I'd work for the Punisher.
Wouldn't be too different than what I do now.

I have no idea what you're trying to say.

Bane.
He doesn't seem that likely to kill me compared to the others and he generally fights Batman alone.
He'd be a big boss.

>a big boss
Militaires Sans Frontières, eh?

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Can Lex Luthor be considered a Batman villain?

I'm not entirely sure what Lexcorp and Wayne Enterprises do, but it seems like they would be pretty serious business rivals.
I'm surprised they don't come into conflict more.

>Rather than invest the millions of dollars he spends on all his wonderful toys into Gotham City and beyond
>And for all his charitable donations, Wayne's philanthropy has never really done much to improve the average quality of life within Gotham City.

>his charitable donations aren't working
>what an asshole for not donating more money to charity that isn't working

If he's a Batman villain, then so is General Zod, so no.

Can I fuck OP's picture? Technically legal.

Hugo Strange seems like the least dangerous to regularly be around.

Can't I just stay unemployed. i don't want to get punched by Batman

As long as I get to fuck her then sure I'd be down for working for Nyssa.

Definitely the Riddler, cause I really like games, and he REALLY puts that into his crime work

>payday
>has to solve a puzzle to get your salary

He should be investing his money into creating jobs and infrastructure instead of paying medcial bills for poor people every once in a while.

Charity is good. Charity can even help people survive. But charity does not fucking solve the issues that create the need for charity in the first place - and neither does Bruce Wayne running around in a fucking bat costume like some kind of deranged furry freak.

I would love a comic where everyone is convinced Bruce Wayne is Gothams version of lex luthor. The more Bruce trays to devote to Bat man the more people believe all the villains are actually Bruce Wayne's legion of doom and he funds them. That would be unique and possibly really fun.

BTAS Joker seems alright, other than corny tricks and dressing up like a clown he never seems to actually reprimand them. He's usually too busy being mad at something else or obsessing over Batman. I'm also holding out for Harley getting bored of never getting the J so she puts a mask on henchmen and tells them corny jokes.

Killer Crock, depending on the writer he can be one of the most well meaning of all of batmans foes

Killer Moth, ESPECIALLY the LEGO variation.

At least with Ivy, you'd be too drugged up on pheromones or poison to care.

Honestly the Carpenter has a fairly sweet gig going on, and I do have a little experience in construction.

The only man the matters in the long game.

He only takes dedicated followers, the kind ready to sacrifice themselves for the greater cause.

You gonna die one way or another.

that does sound pretty interesting

Comrade Bane is the only right answer

I think the problem with Orca is that you have a large chance of being crushed to death in the throws of passion. You gigantic fucking furry.

fuck off joker