EP 9 Predictions

Besides Rey crafting a double bladed lightsaber what else will happen?

The worst opening week of any Star Wars movie

Leia dies offscreen. Rey & Ren start a new Jedi academy. Force ghost Luke appears at the end.

...

Movie will open with a funeral for Princess Laertes. Eventually Kylo Drumpf will meet with Rey at his mother's resting place and then they will have one more chitchat about join me no join me before they have a huge battle, and Rey will sacrifice herself in a suicide maneuver to destroy Kylo Ranch and the first order, freeing the galaxy, and then Rian Johnson's trilogy will be about that newly reborn galaxy. Phasma will return and will be on a solo mission to kill Finn, abandoning the first order. When she meets Finn he will be like "Captain Phasma!" and she'll be like "Formerly Captain, now just PHASMA!"

Screencapture this

If they give a shit about canon, it'd require two crystals to do that. Ideally, if they have any brains, they'd make her build a Lightsaber Pike, which would bring some more stuff in from Legends, fit in with her expertise in staves, as well as have something new in the films to show off/sell.

women will be empowered, blacks will be comic relief and white men are gonna be villains/bumbling idiots/irrelevant

kek'd out loud

Snoke uses his dark regenerative powers to come back to life.
Luke comes back with a new outlook on life and is basically space Jesus.
Leia dies and Poe is voted leader of the Resistance
Rey has a battle with the darkness in herself and anger that she's not special, but she gets over it.
Kylo Ren becomes a reluctant anti-hero
Hux dies like a little bitch
Finn and Rose do nothing because their story is over.

How can people still think Rian has a future with Disney? He's toxic to profits and will be for at least a decade. They're not going to let him do another SW movie any time soon, if ever again. Any support now is just damage control to squeeze as many pennies out of his train wreck before they quietly abandon him and move on.

Snoke is a force parasite that changes hosts on death.
It was his plan all along to take over Rey, which is why he had to be killed by Kylo.
Rey goes evil, Kylo goes good and stops her.

Nice try JJ not even us genius Sup Forums alt-righter manchilds can save this one.

Ummmm stay mad sweetie

They probably heavily regret signing him on for a new trilogy right now, if not regretting announcing a new trilogy in the first place.

When TLJ's disappointing gross is all said and done, Rian will "leave the project" over "creative differences."

...

They're going to show full penetration

Snoke is plagueis he bodysnatches benecio del torro whilst the knights of ren stand round in a circle chanting old sith shit

You all better get ready. Inside scoop on the next movie will certainly address many of your concerns... For example here are three you might all like:

1) Rey and Kylo. Snoke did more than link them telepathically... he linked them physically. There is a scene in the next film early on where Kylo's notices that he has a scar on his arm in the same place where Rey was cut by Snoke's bodyguard. He starts to observe Rey through the Force and turns on his lightsaber. He slowly brings his hand closer to one of the cross guard beams and slightly touches his wrist with it. Rey reacts to the pain and sees she has a burn on her wrist as does Kylo which is very reminiscent of the wounds of Christ. Where they go with this no clue, but it will probably be some self-sacrifice thing where they both end up dying.
2. Luke and Force Ghosts interacting with the world. Disney clearly hasn't gotten the message on this and they are planning to have Luke confront Kylo as a Force Ghost. Well, Force Lightning from a Sith has some extra powers as we learn...Kylo now more powerful than ever fires lightning at Luke and it actually affects him. We see Luke's Force Ghost actually burn up and disappear forever and it's also how they're going to explain why Force ghosts didn't just show up to stop the Sith.
3. Hyper Space Ramming. No one does it because shields are EXTREMELY powerful in Hyper Space which is another dimension. If you try it on anything with even a slight amount of shields you'll blow up but the other ship won't. The ships of the First Order had no shields however because they were redirecting power to their engines and guns to pursue the Raddus.

It's going to be a good one...

>British First Order
>American Resistance
The most powerful characters on both sides are the opposite of these nationalities

>implying they didn’t announce the Rian trilogy as a way to broadcast false confidence in TLJ

Hopefully Disney will learn their lesson from TLJ backlash and negative reviews.

There were no openly transgender and/or muslim people of color in the main cast. This is a complete white wash of reality. star wars should fairly and equally represent real life society. Disney has turned Star Wars into pure science fiction fantasy.

It's like pottery

It's swiftly becoming apparent that this is the case.

No way in a million years is 'Johnson's trilogy' happening now.

The movie will end in a cliffhanger to springboard the next trilogy. Nothing resolved, no questions answered, no reason to keep watching.

The Supremacy having fully functional and activated shields is literally an explicitly established plot point

There’s literally no damage control for that awful, unearned scene aside from “just turn your brain off hehe”

Rian Johnson is a brainlet

Leia undergoes sex reassignment surgery and changes her name to Luke for Ep. IX. That's how they get Mark Hamill back.

Screencap this pls

Who cares. Someone's penis will be a lightsaber or whatever. C3PO will die for some reason.

TO BE FAIR

For sure. Johnson's trilogy is going to be total vaporware. He will never direct a blockbuster again. He pulled a Thor: The Dark World on Star Wars and he will suffer the same consequences.

Ok but seriously, what are the odds that Holdo, Rose, and Canto Bite where at least mostly because of Kathleen Kennedy and her vagina monologuers' executive meddling?

How about "the section of the shield that Holdo rammed was exactly the section of shield DJ hacked to sneak aboard the craft, due to the will of the force?"

> implying Rian Johnson isn’t a meek, @femfreq retweeting soyboy all on his own
She might’ve hired him for that reason, but he’s still directly at fault

Honestly, we’re lucky this nu-male didn’t get the opportunity to gay things up even more

His trilogy would’ve been atrocious

IIRC that was only an opening created for a split second, but regardless it was 100x smaller than the Raddus

A timeskip. Leia's dead. Kylo got an apprentice. New deathstar. You know the drill.

It’s bizarre bc Brick was pretty redpilled