Times in real life you acted like the Driver

>at grocery store
>cute girl is at the cash register
>as I put my groceries on the belt, she goes "Hi!"
>I say nothing and just nod
>as she's scanning she says "so did you find everything ok?"
>i stare at her for ten seconds and say nothing
>she keeps scanning and finishes the order
>she asks "do you have a store card?"
>i stare at her for ten seconds. i then slowly reach into my wallet and pull out the store card, and hand it to her
>she tells me the price
>i scan my credit card as if its the easiest thing in the world
>she says "thank you for shopping here"
>i stare at her, and after a few seconds of silence I say "it was nothing".
>i walk out with one hand in my pocket

shit, i always walk with one hand hand in my pocket. plz dont tell me its meme thing to do.

should have said "you're parents were nothing, they sold you off for booze money, you're nothing. but not to me." then invited her to her job. ffs

seriously why the fuck cant i be as cool or smooth as the driver. its not fair.

Imagine someone actually doing this. I'd knock his ass out right there.

No your wimpy 120 wimpy soy eating white boi ass wouldn't.

>Get pulled over with my neighbor's wife
>Cop: License and Registration please
>Stare at cop for 10 seconds
>start kissing and feeling neighbor's wife up
>reach into glove box
>pull out crowbar
>clock the cop in the face with the car door
>get out and beat the cop to death in front of her
>Run him over twice
>tell her to get out
>Drive off
>A REAL HUMAN BEAN

Watch Drive.

>i always walk with one hand hand in my pocket
tell me you're joking.

>tfw nothing will be as comfy as 2011 Sup Forums Drive posting

I bet you walk around with a toothpick in your mouth too lol

no im not!
shit, i didnt think there was anything wrong with it. i put my hand on my pant pockets whenever i walk.
i dont want to be seen autistic

that is not the driver though

>Soy
that's how I know you're gigantic faggot

I just want to be the goose.

Is that so hard? Why did God curse me by making me an ugly duckling?

>driving a girl home
>I say "hey, you wanna see something?"
>she says "um, what?"
>I say "Ok"
>drive into a concrete river basin
>she cries out "what the fuck are you doing!?!?
>i smile at her and play "a real hero" on the radio

...

>i always walk with one hand hand in my pocket
It's called "driving." It's what Sup Forums posters do to recognize each other in public.

Wait, what the fuck was this character's name again?

I said watch Drive you fucking idiot.

say that shit to my face and not online and see what happens, fucker

This isn't Driver, this is Adam Sandler's character from Punch Drunk Love.

I thought we were supposed to do the power pose

Is this ironic autism or unironic autism?

If you're a fucking memer who doesn't watch film.

I'll be there in 10 minutes, baby

>go to mcdoalds in new jacket, order the usual
>small cup of big mac sauce, a liquid mcflurry, 20 chickie nuggs
>take my meal with a smirk and sit in a booth, comfortably housing my girth
>i double dip each nugget at an admirably impressive rate, and count them in my head
>1, 2, 3.. ..18, 19
>nineteen nuggets
>take the nugg, still dripping with sauce and cream to the counter
>stand silently as it drips on my jacket
>"you cut me short. one nugget"
>she can't reimburse me
>ask for the manager
>tells me he can't refund it or replace it because i ate most of my meal
>don't respond, clench the nugg in my fist and leave
>sit in my car, waiting
>manager comes out to smoke
>approach him, knock him to the floor and hold him down with my weight (i'm big boned)
>hold up the nugget
>"do you remember this?"
>hold his mouth open, force my final nugget down his gullet
>run through the back door, grab a box of frozen nuggets and flee
>that was the last mcdonalds in the city which would have me back

>be me at a BBQ
>guy who I haven't seen since I was like 30 says hi to me
>didn't remember him at first but realized that he was my cousin's bf when I saw him last
>start talking to him about what we're up to in life
>say I just finished my first year of college
>tells me he wants to be a chef and get his own food truck
>seems really excited about it
>tells me he'll be the one at the grill for the BBQ
>wait a while until the first round of burgers is ready
>get one
>it tastes dry and too salty
>guy asks me how the burger was
>"It was a little too spicy. Not like hot spicy but too much flavor"
>realize how I'm fucking up
>"...but that's just me though. I don't know"
>phew, what a save
>later hear him call at someone
>think he was talking to me and turn around
>"No, not you"
>goes up to other guy
>"You like the burgers?"
>"Yea, it's good"
>"Not too spicy?"
>"No, it's fine"
>realize I should've just said the same thing
I went back for another burger in good faith but it turns out he burnt the next round. I took one of the less burnt ones and ate the whole thing to hopefully show him that I didn't mind his grilling. He probably hated me.

Is your other hand making a peace sign?

>Be an Uber Driver
>Watch Drive 96 times
>Pick up a girl at the airport and drive with Kavinsky: Nightcall on
>"Wow, user, this a really good song."
>"You like it?"
>"Who is it by?"
>Don't answer.
>She keeps talking and I turn it up to drown her out, watching her confusion grow in the rear-view mirror.
>I start speeding across a bridge, looking for helicopters. She's terrified and I think she's calling the Police on her cell-phone.
>I run a Cadillac off the road
>It doesn't flip, and I am disappointed. I see lights and sirens behind me.
>I outrun them and start doing evasive maneuvers in back alleys and residential neighborhoods.
>I pull over under a little-used underpass and get into the back seat and confiscate her phone
>I put on my knuckle-cut-out driving gloves and backhandedly slap her, covering her mouth
>"Have you seen the movie Drive?"
>She's crying, obviously confused and paralyzed with fear
>"I'm going to take my hand off. The next words out of your mouth better be the truth, or I'm going to hurt you."
>"T.. t-that movie with Ryan Gosling?"
>I smile.
>She smiles.
>I take out my claw-hammer and use it to make her swallow a bullet
>We're best friends now, she writes me letters in the institution
>They won't let me wear the jacket, they think I'll hang myself with it

>in army
>finish 3 week nco academy
>eating/drinking clean for 3 weeks straight
>friends pick me up at airport
>we go out for mexican and margs
>go back to their place later
>sleeping on couch
>wake up in middle of night to take massive shit
>don't want to go in their rooms and blow up their toilets all night
>sprint down stairs with a turtle peaking
>jump in my trick
>run over curb and through red light
>make it to bathroom at gas station
>Unleash cthulu out of my ass hole
>literally cannon like force of projectile shitting into this toilet
>you ever have to shit so bad you take all your clothes off in the middle?
>finish after about 20 min
>literally blackest water you've ever seen in your life in the toilet
>looks like chunky oil
>can't even stand up up straight due to massive vacuum in stomach steal trying pressurize
>flush
>water starts going up not down
>oh fuck time to go
>literally stops at the rim of the bowl almost completely even with it
>start walking bow legged back to car
>Middle aged female gas station clerk says "you're lucky"
>"Excuse muah?"
>"You're lucky, I was about to close the bathroom to clean it."
>Half jogging towards the door at this point
>Remark that lucky has a funny way of working.
>She starts saying as she walks into the bathroom"yeah that's true I gue--WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>jump in the truck and drive back home laughing so hard that I would have shit myself and I hadn't already given birth.

Relative newfag, what to expect from drive apart from sperged geese? Watching it soon.

ending ruined it

I asked for a revival of these threads just last night. T-thanks user

The driver definitely would post on Sup Forums

terrible

o-ok, bring condoums

no, it just swings as i walk

Long stretches of absolutely nothing happening (but with style) punctuated by brief periods of brutal violence.

Like every Refn movie

>hold him down with my weight (i'm big boned)

>looks like the poster of 300
>movie is boring as shit

> Be at the family dinner with 3 of my older siblings
> Broken family home: 2 of them are from a different dad.
> During the dinner an uncomfortable topic of work comes up.
>One of my brothers is deep into creating shell companies and tax fraud.
> I am sitting with my phone out listening to music with my headphones. (yes during the dinner; no wonder nobody like me in my family)
> stop the music.
> for the first time in my life get to hear the older brother talk openly about his business.
>Get excited. Hit the record button.
>He goes on about this dry wood suppler company for which he created a shell company to increase fake expenses so they would be taxed less.
>Record every word he says.
>dinner ends.
>Go back to my room. Transfer the recording to my flash drive.
>Next day my mom looks for a flash drive to get some family photos.
>Finds it.
>Older brother calls me the day after and says that he will remember this if something goes awry in my life.
>Just shrug it off. and put my earpiece back in.

Sounds more like Baby Driver than Drive

It is.

just do both, power stance when standing still, driving when walking

See, if you're a sexy gosling type who can pull off that sort of air, that'd work. Low-key playing some synth on your headphones around your neck might help with that.
But I'm currently imagining a 40-year old neckbeard who's fatter than he is tall, and it's very funny.

Reposting my OC from way, way back.

I'm amazed you can still find it on the internet.

>3 week nco academy

That's the gayest thing to call BLC i've ever heard.

To be fair, it's pretty perfect.

The heck is BLC?

>that was the last mcdonalds in the city which would have me back

This.

kek

>looking for some acid
>go to convenience store one night
>see some sketchy teens
>begin chewing on toothpick
>spit out toothpick
>"hey...you guys know where to get some acid... "
>they do
>drive back to their place and pick up the stuff
>afterwards they ask for a ride to another convenience store, they tell me their gonna shoplift
>"......I drive... "
>pull into the parking lot and tell them that I'm only here to drive, that I'm theirs for the next 5 minutes and if they're even a second over and I'm gone.
>they look confused but understand
>3 minutes later they rush back to the car with armfuls of merchandise
>security guard is right behind them
>turn on my CD player and punch it
>THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE YOU, IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN, THE-
>teens turn off my radio and begin asking where were going, tell me I've past their apartment 3 times, etc...
>"...... "
>drop them off and speed away

>get your plates backtraced and go to jail because it's real life and you're not driving a throwaway car

So he pops the lock on that Mustang GT and just starts it like he had the keys. Can someone explain this?

i always wear a bomber jacket and keep my hands in the front pocket. i dont know what else to do with them

>say I just finished my first year of college
this is where you fucked up. You're supposed to just stare at him.

As if. I parked and drove away with my plates facing away from any of the cameras. What kind if driver do you take me for ?

I've actually been the getaway driver in an extremely, extremely low-tier crime and got away with it.

This is the seem I'm talking about. Seems like an obvious plothole.

i always feel like Driver when i chew on a toothpick.

uh, did you forget the fact that he works as an auto-mechanic, so he definitely knows how to hot-wire a car?

the whole "i know how to hot-wire a car" schtick is a common trait applied to protagonists who are supposed to be good at stuff.

>implicit timelapse with off-camera hotwiring

doesn't seem like they even imply it from the way it's shot.

or that he was a known criminal for hire that specialized in cars. not sure but I think they jumped a head a bit from when he broke in to the car to when he drove off, I don't think he jumpstarted the car in 1 second.

I chew on toothpicks when I want to feel like the Driver.

They cut the shot but it seems pretty immediate considering it is not much different from the cut they do when he's sliding it in to when he actually opens the door.

What country are you in that you can just watch the entire movie on YouTube?

It's fucking YouTube.

fucking kek

Fucking kek

Fucking kek

Fucking kek

I love this movie, sometimes I go camping and walk around wrapped in big billowy cloaks and sit on rocks just staring

medium lel

>be me
>go to restaurant
>notice some of the waitresses staring from time to time
>waitresses are pretty cute
>eat the food
>time to leave
>start to walk out
>see some waitresses near the entrance
>walk past them and they all say goodbye to me at the same time
>keep walking but turn around and nod
>hear giggles
>become insecure whether those giggles were good or not
>get out of there as soon as possible
>realize that i did a good driver larp
>realize it was fucking stupid because i never even got to talk to any of them

>on me way to me mum
>some faggot is tailgating me
>snowing
>grab cricket bat
>get out the car
>what are you doing stupid wanker keep yer distance
>drive off
>nofx blasting

How can someone as milquetoast as Refn consistently create such stylish, cool characters?

>be a loaner
>be a car enthusiast
>work as a mechanic

>be me at 22, virgin
>im normally very talkative and friendly with people
>this has gotten me literally nowhere
>my friend is less atractive, but his autism keeps him quiet, he is drosning in women
>at a party, i stay by myself in the kitchen leaning against the counter
>girl comes in, i ignore her
>”what are you doing in here?”
>look up incredibly slowly, about 10 seconds to face her, and when i do i lock eyes
>dead silent for another 5 seconds, every instinct is telling me to speak
>you should come out and come sit with me and abby
>i look out the window into the night
>i dont go in for smalltalk
>okay
>she leaves
>im still a virgin

REAL HUMAN BEAN

My favorite

Thats funny

I use a car often.

these are by far the best Sup Forums threads

I recently re watched it, and the Driver isn't as autistic as you guys paint him, he's just kinda reserved. He wasn't staring at people for thirty fucking seconds straight.

you're wrong but ok

...

>i double dip each nugget at an admirably impressive rate, and count them in my head

Bravo user

Absolute kino

>get home after a long day riding around on the train, staring intensely at cute girls
>take off my scorpion jacket and throw it onto my bedroom floor
>notice how worn the fabric is
>it's covered in rips and brown stains and still reeks of the time I spilled one of my piss jars on it
>pick up the jacket and inhale deeply
>remember all the great times I've had wearing the jacket
>put it back on, one last time
>one final drive
>stride coolly out of my room
>travel up the corridor
>step into my mother's room to ask her to drive me to the shops so she can buy me another polo shirt to draw a scorpion on the back of
>my mother is on the bed, four fingers plunging furiously in and out of her quivering vagina
>she's shocked but too close to cumming to stop
>about to back out but the jacket infuses me with the spirit of the driver
>leap onto the bed and whip out my phimosis encrusted dick
>stab at my mothers engorged labia, ejaculating dark grey semen all over her hand
>collapse on top of her, whimpering "I... Drive"
>take the jacket off my face
>I'm actually lying in a gutter
>covered in shit and garbage
>my mom kicked me out six months ago due to my NEET lifestyle
>pop the collar on my crusty scorpion drive polo
>point my fingers to the stars like a gun
>fire the gun and bring my finger to my lips and blow
>"See you, space cowboy..."
>tense my bowels as hard as I can and shit diarrhoea down my legs for warmth as I roll over for the night
>it's going to be a long winter

lovecraftian

i get your reference user

crimes like what

That’s called severe anxiety user

Top this faggots

>be me 27
>go to bar with cute tinder date
>enjoying beers before skate date
>see pool table and offer a game
>hours pass at pool table and we abandon skate date
>bar gets packed and band shows up
>improv show date now
>good buzz going
>band is ok but it allows me to wrap arms around her
>she moves one of my hands on her tits
>OMGWTFBBQ
>Start to gently caress her tits
>she likes it and starts grinding her ass on me
>Fuck a tent, I got the Statue of Liberty going on in my pants
>band goes on, more beers are drank and foreplay go on
>beer starts to set in and I know im drunk
>will power is keeping me from stumbling over
>she says let's go to your car for a 'talk'
>we stumble to car and I act all cool
>start saying random shit trying to keep her impressed at how much beer I've had and still function
>we get into my car and start making out
>I touch her tits again and she takes my hand and shoves into her bra
>HOLY SHIT THE PROMISED LAND IS IN SIGHT
>tell her I got more drinks at home and she says yeah let's go
>driving like a boss despite all the beer
>feel funny
>she asks what's wrong
>im ok, nothing like a few beers at home can't fix
>Holy shit I feel the beer coming up
>keep driving and holding back puke
>I ask her for some water
>as she hands me a bottle I blow chunks
>she screams
>FUUUUUUUCK
>I pull over and apologize
>tells me off and walks off
>HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND
>start long drive home alone
>put on Pandora
>Real Hero plays
>start feeling like shit
>realize I actually shit myself I'm so drunk
>become real human bean

lmao

>laughingnicholascage.jpg

I've acted like a baby driver if that counts

kek

>wimpy 120 wimpy

best move in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2