Why were they so shit?

>track down the fellowship
>ambush them
>outnumber them like 20 to 1
>get BTFO by Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli
>run away
>leader is dead and more than half of the soldiers too
>only killed one guy and captured two hobbits, neither of whom had the ring
>get slaughtered a few days later by Eomer and dont even put up a fight

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To be fair they expected to kidnap a bunch of halflings, not run into what were probably pound for pound the best fighters in Middle Earth. Totally green troops as well.

Even more to the point, how did they know what a menu was?

Saruman sent them though and he knew about the fellowship.
So surely he told them that

Aragorn is from a bloodline of big guys

How did treebeard not know what Hobbits were?

he never saw one

Not even kidding here, didn't Merry and Pippin find a menu after the fall of Isengard? Or was that just some kind of inventory?

They stopped at Arby's along the way.

They found drugs and salted pork

In the books, the only characters of the fellowship the uruks encountered were boromir, merry, and pippin. Boromir managed to kill several before he was taken down, at which point the uruks scooped up merry and pippen (who they believed to be sam and frodo) to bring them to saruman. Aragorn is only alerted to the presence of the uruks upon hearing boromir blowing the horn of gondor. However once aragorn reaches boromir, it is too late and the orcs are gone. Gimli and legolas show up right after aragorn but it was too late for them to do anything either.

this feel's like an Arby's night

Aragorn is superhuman. Legolas is an elf, who is worth dozens of human fighters, and Gimli is a battle-trained dwarf, who is also worth multiple human fighters. And however big and strong the Uruk-hai are, they're still orcs, and orcs have a core of wickedness and cowardice that they can never dispel.

You're forgetting that Boromir is a Numenorean descendant just like Aragorn, although Aragorn is half-elf unlike Boromir.

fell asleep before their race even existed or some shit like that

Orcs are actually shit warriors with shit morale, they are slaves that fight because they fear their masters whereas the free peoples are organized, disciplined, and have actual integrity. Orcs are pathetic shits that can’t do shit but banditry and scavenging without the power of Sauron or morgoth, they fight amongst themselves and hate themselves and each other. They are a worthless fallen race of the deformed and the tormented and are completely pathetic as individuals, even the hobbits manage to kill them without much trouble.

LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU TONIGHT BOYS

t. Orc chad fucked my prom date

Weren't they literally born yesterday?

No, Boromir doesn't have the Numenorean blood the way Aragorn does. At least not in the books:

"By some chance the blood of Westernesse runs nearly true in him; as it does in his other son, Faramir, and yet did not in Boromir whom he loved best."

Seriously can we crowdfunding or petition for a CGI Lord of the Rings? That movie was cool for 1999 but fuck you can't recreate an army of a hundred thousand and fucking wraiths with live action.

>orc
>chad
its literally impossible.They cannot help but be subserviant to someone who is not an orc

Niggers are actually shit warriors with shit morale, they are slaves that fight because they fear the job applications whereas the White peoples are organized, disciplined, and have actual integrity. Niggerss are pathetic shits that can’t do shit but banditry and scavenging without the power of Schlomo, they fight amongst themselves and hate themselves and each other. They are a worthless fallen race of the deformed and the tormented and are completely pathetic as individuals, even the KKK manage to kill them without much trouble.

The books describe the orcs as pretty much always outnumbering their enemy but it never matters. The knights charge and the orcs flee like little girls in every battle. A couple hundred Gondor knights show up at minas tirith and each one of them starts racking up dozens of kills, outnumbered 10 to 1 they just smash right through and slaughter the orcs, who are completely routed until the evil men arrive, who are actually competent because they’re not pathetic orcs that run at the first sign of real armies.

Yeah but Saruman was smart and would not have told them that.

Boromir has more elven blood than Aragorn.

but they're both like 0.0000..0001% elf, so it's basically nothing.

They both have numenoran ancestry, but Aragorn is descended from the royal family, which means he also has Maia ancestry like Elrond(who is only 56% elf)

Exactly. Orcs are trash soldiers. Their biggest virtue is that they're absolutely loyal to Sauron. The men of the south and east are better warriors, but when it looks like things are taking a turn for the shit they will cut and run because they're not thralls to the Dark Lord, and thus have some care for self-preservation.

Aren't orcs described as being intelligent and technologically advanced? In Bilbo they even have functioning societies. As opposed to niggers who have never really accomplished anything of report, I mean.

Gimli is from the second-most-noble branch of Durin's line. He's a bit more than a normal dwarf.

>butthurt soy elf

>absolutely loyal to Sauron
One of the few dialogues we have with Orcs they shit talk Sauron and discuss the possibility to desert the army.

Sauron is the industrial mastermind that wills his stupid servants towards his ends, the stupid servants themselves are useless shits though, orcs are literally tribe-tier without a dark lord to tell them what to do, when morgoth was imprisoned they literally scattered like rats and did nothing of note for a thousand years.

Lurtz soloing Aragorn for a while was pretty gud

According to the Hobbit they invented all kinds of shit on their own accord.

yeah Boromir's a badass, probably among the best fighters in the realms of men but he's not the total package like Aragorn and to a somewhat lesser extent Denethor and Faramir. also fun fact Aragorn was born shortly after Denethor and served as his most valued advisor for a while (i want to say like 15 years) before leaving to go ride with the Rohirrim iirc, either that or go work with Gandalf.

Was Lurtz, dare I say it, /ourorc/?

>he's not the total package like Denethor
t. denethor

Those were Uruks, mate.

And defeated the Corsairs of Umbar, killing their leader in single combat on a burning ship, before passing out of the knowledge of men once again. truly /ourguy/

lol at the butthurt nerd foaming at the mouth because of how nuch he hates orcs

It says the misty mountain orcs had traps and shit but nothing comparable to the free peoples’ creations. They don’t even have a real language it’s just a mishmash of other languages, everyone Sauron actually trusts are fallen men, not orcs, because Sauron knows better than anyone that orcs are shit.

Same thing retard

>deheehehehehe elves are soyboys
>shows up at dagorlad with massive numerical advantage, get BTFO by elves and witness almighty master get shown up by a filthy human
>wallow in Mordor until Maiar daddy enslaves you again
>elves meanwhile live in heaven on earth
orc tears are delicious

orcs are just redpilled elves

in the book he killed like 20+ uruks before he died to arrows
which is ironic since he's the only one of the fellowship to carry a shield

legolas, aragorn, and gimli can all solo a unit of uruk hai easy in lotr bfme 2, simple

>the free peoples are organized, disciplined, and have actual integrity
Until a Nazgûl comes around, lol

Nope. Uruk-hai were mixed with men.

denethor was one of the best Stewards of all time, great military leader, he had it all. unfortunately under the weight of stress and age he eventually grew prideful and chose to use the palantir (which no one had used since Sauron got the Minas Ithil one.) he got a lot of useful info because he was very strong-willed but it eventually wore him down and made him fatalistic. tragic end for a great defender of the West

>elves are so badass that one literally challenged a valar to single combat
>orcs never accomplish anything without massive numerical advantage
So I guess “redpilled” is slang for “cowardly?”

>red pilled
>live in total misery literally all of the time
sure

yup he was the chad of all chads

more cunning than intelligent, they make devices and things but they're all crude and of poorer quality than stuff made by anybody else
they can dig almost as well as dwarves though

The prancing pony had a beer menu

Uruk-hai does not mean half-Orc, retard. It literally translates to "Orc folk" and the term is not unique to Saruman's hybrids. It essentially designates any Orc that is especially big and mean.

>soyelves
>spend all your time huffing galadroastiel's farts and frolicking in the woods
>explode when you get raped, which is often

>orc chads
>cut down forests
>rape elves
>dine at restaurants
>sack villages

they work metal probably as well as lesser men, and are the best war engineers

they also learn fast from their slaves

>nazgul
Oh you mean those bitches that got: beaten up by a man when they outnumbered him 9 to 1, whose leader was killed by a women and whose subordinates were finished off by eagles? Cool champions you got there, also not orcs lol.
Also you’re a retard, orcs are literally already mixed with humans and elves movie-fag, Tolkien never made any real distinction between orcs, Ursula, and goblins. They all mean the same thing, they’re all mutts, they’re all described as having varying sizes, literally synonyms

>Nope. Uruk-hai were mixed with men.

Seeing as how you know fuck all about what you're talking about how about you just piss off?

>elves meanwhile live in heaven on earth
>writing poetry
>singing
>brooding
>baking soy based lembas

No wonder elf girls crave the BOC

The Fellowship are literal superheroes, the best of the best possible amongst their fellow species.

An Uruk is about the same or better than a normal man.

Nice headcannon that Tolkien dismissed before he died

Orcs were not already mixed with Men and they weren't mixed with Elves either, they are Elves.

shit-tier savage elves captured and perverted by melkor you mean

The fuck are you on about? Are you even replying to the right post? "Uruk-hai" means Orc-folk and Tolkien explicitly refers to Uruk-hai who are fully Orcish, not hybrids.

holy shit this is pathetic.
The maggots in your bread must be making you delusional.
Its already rare enough for an elf to want a man, what makes you think they want anything do with you mongrels?

Uruk-hai is just slang for a big orc, it isn’t a separate species or anything, all orcs are mixed already that’s how they were made, they’re already half elf or half man or whatever, you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about

>explode when you get raped, which is often

>dine at restaurants
good shit user keep it up

>Why were they so shit?
why are you amerimutts so dumb?

you know the answer

Are you? Seriously look at he post you replied to, you replied to a person who was basically agreeing with you and then you went off on an incorrect tangent. All Uruks and orcs and goblins are the same thing, Uruk is a big orc and it has nothing to do with their percentage of man or elf genes.

>the most brainlet and low tier board of Sup Forums trying to discuss a book
Oh, qt.

>The Fellowship are literal superheroes, the best of the best possible amongst their fellow species.

besides aragorn, not at all

Yeah, but these guys been in the ground forever right? I still don't think they would have the concept of a menu, let alone a restaurant. But then again there is that even in 3 where they are in the dark tower and end up in a food hall place right?

>elf girls literally cant get enough of orc cock
>elf virgins throw a fit and sail entire race to the other side of the world

Can't even make this shit up.

>Uruk-hai is just slang for a big orc, it isn’t a separate species or anything

Yes, I know.

>all orcs are mixed already that’s how they were made

No, Saruman's hybrids are mixed with Men, and Orcs themselves are descended from Elves, they weren't interbred with them. This is the canon Tolkien settled on. Whatever else he wrote about Orcs being animated from mud or descended from Men was retconned. But when Tolkien retconned something, it sort of remained canon, because everything he wrote he "translated". So he didn't change his mind by saying that Morgoth didn't give the Orcs life, just that's not what actually happened but it's what the Elves said happened at some point. The legendarium evolved over time see, partly by design. Tolkien wanted his mythology to shift the way real world myths did.

Anyway, the last word final established canon is that Orcs are descended from fucked up Elves because this is what's in the Silmarillion as published.

t. Incel

there is quite literally not even 1 instance across the entirety of middle earth mythology where anyone is attracted to orcs
they dont even reproduce sexually.
Orc virgins forever salty

"There are suggestions that the Uruk-hai were the result of crossbreeding orcs and men."
lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Uruk-hai
>don't fear sunlight
>weapons are similar to humans

>a man
Yeah, sure, Aragorn is just a "man" when it's convenient, huh?
>leader was killed by a woman
Leader was killed by a barrow dagger that pierced his protections
>finished off by the eagles
Yeah, who were cowardly enough to wait until Sauron was dead. Rank and file humans flee like little bitches when Nazguls are around.

>Tolkien doesn't make distinctions between orcs
He literally does. Simply because they act different. Common orcs fear uruks, it's made pretty clear in those few inter-orc conversations that are in the books.

Gimli and Legolas are literally royalty, boromir is nobility and one of the best warriors Gondor has to offer.

>also fun fact Aragorn was born shortly after Denethor and served as his most valued advisor for a while (i want to say like 15 years)
I think that's fan fiction.
He served in armies under Denethors father though.

>you went off on an incorrect tangent

No, I didn't. I replied to the wrong posters but what I'm saying is that Uruk-hai ≠ half-Orc. All of Saruman's hybrids were Uruk-hai because their mannish blood gave them greater stature, but not all half-Orcs are Uruk-hai because like you said the term essentially means "big Orc".

Didn't Saruman have a human fixer that was rumored to be "at least part orc"? Obviously it could just be a malevolent rumor by the townsfolk but for what its worth.

Boromir was said to be the best warrior from Gondor, along with his brother

Gimili is equally the best of his species

Legolas is Legolas

>reading a book, like 20,000 words, like you're some faggot in school, when theres a movies of the exact same story, probably sits there in his gay little cloak eating some lemnas bread his mum baked him

No, Saruman's hybrids are mixed with Men, and Orcs themselves are descended from Elves, they weren't interbred with them. This is the canon Tolkien settled on.
This is just your headcannon m8 Tolkien didn’t “settle” on any of that, you just made it up. Nowhere does Tolkien distinguish saruman’s orcs as specifically mixed with men or orcs as specifically being not mixed with men, literally all your headcannon. Post proof or admit fault.

>citing a fucking wiki

All of Saruman's hybrids were Uruk-hai. Not all Uruk-hai are half-Orcs. Because Uruk-hai does not mean half-Orc, it means "Orc folk", and it's a generic Orcish term for Orcs that are especially big and mean. Sauce is the fucking appendixes which Tolkien wrote not some dweeb with an internet connection as uninformed as you are.

Head
Cannon

>
Shelob is a major character in the video game Middle-earth: Shadow of War, where she serves as both the narrator and an ally to player character Talion. In the game, Shelob uses her Maian shape-shifting ability to assume the form of an attractive human woman. Following criticism of this decision, creative director Michael de Plater explained his interpretation that Gollum and Shelob were "the unsung heroes of The Lord of the Rings", with Shelob sensing Frodo's weakness and making a pact with Gollum to hasten him to Mount Doom and the confrontation that destroys the ring. De Plater envisioned Shelob as a dark counterpart to Galadriel, noting how both manipulate lesser beings, but that Shelob is more honest.

So Shelob was a good girl after all?

There were several elves better than Legolas still in middle earth at the time, Boromir wasn't one of the best warriors of Gondor, he was the best, but Faramir was still a better choice. I can't say much on Gimli.

The fellowship wasn't about the best there were or even the most powerful around, Elrond and Gandalf chose the members out of a gut feeling.

>Post proof

Proof is in the fucking books every time Tolkien refers to "Goblin-men" "Orc-men" and "half-Orcs" which he does repeatedly.

it's in the appendix of lotr. he went by the name Thorongil or something iirc

>He fell for the lotr weed meme
Retard

So your headcannon? Only thing he ever admitted was using terms interchangeably and having very little internal consistency, certainly didn’t lay it all out like a wiki article as you suggest.

>explode when you get raped, which is often

Elf slang for an orgasm, something they've never experienced with their own race. Elf stacies need to be satisfied by and bred with the BOC.

Absolutely fuck off Jesus Christ don't even start.

holy fucking shit

who the fuck wrote this lmao. Shelob being most honest than the most fair elf whom ever lived? Shapeshifting? She was a child of ungoliant, not a elevated spirit.

nah, you'd be hard pressed to put together a better company of nine in all of the west. even the hobbits were the absolute cream of the crop. ironically the most important (Frodo) was the least renowned among his own people

I never suggested anything related to wiki articles you fucking faggot, I'm citing the God-damned legendarium as written. It would behoove you to read the material for yourself because you're clearly as well informed as any wiki scholar or any other moron who has never experienced Tolkien's material outside of Peter Jackson and video games.

Imagine how much your mind must have degenerated to make these posts. Things you once knew have been erased.

Yeah go ahead and keep being vague instead of actually citing anything really proving your point, orcs=goblins and Uruk=big orc literally the only things that are confirmed.

yeah tolkien literally says it's tobacco multiple times. damn stoner degenerates. jackson's the main person to blame for this meme