Post a better detective

Post a better detective.

Everyone created by Agatha Christie

The virgin columbo
The chad poirot

Columbo had a wife. Poirot was a permavirgin autist.

CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS.

Maigret had a wife and wasn't a dirty manlet like Columbore

Barney Miller

Yeah, but Columbo was played by Peyer Falk, not some dude whose name soinds like the flavor you *don't* want added to your coffee.

>having a wife means something

It looks like the text is his massive cock and Columbo is flashing it at his latest suspect with just one more question he has to ask

COLUMBO'D

HOW CAN BELGIANS EVEN COMPETE?

Monk

Easy kinda

Was gonna post this

He's not even a cop. Doesn't count

Belgians are hardly humans

>Belgians are hardly humans

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whats an ass dick

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this, too bad that he was too exhausted after 1 season

remake when motherfuckers?

faaaaark that would be great

Not even close

Do prosecutors count?

what hell was monk?

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Did they ever explain how he became a child, I don't feel like watching 8 billion episodes to try and find out.

>set it in the 70's, lots of period clothing and scenery
>Netflix, AMC or HBO
>70 minute episodes witha a 90 minute finale
>famous film celebrities play the killers (we could even get Marvel folk for some episodes since they're buddy buddy with Ruffalo.)
>Spielberg comes back to the direct the first episode
>have small references to previous cases to appease the nerd fans

The rest is all on how great Ruffalo's Columbo impression is. Because it's guaranteed all the Emmys and Golden Globes and shit.

Does anyone remember the tv show Ms. Columbo? I used to think it was a joke my dad made up but it's real.

>The rest is all on how great Ruffalo's Columbo impression is.

Nah, if you're playing someone like that who's already been portrayed, you should never just impersonate them, because it's super hokey and distracting.

Ruffalo is good enough that he could do his own take on the character of Colombo without having to resort to a gimmicky impression.

Easy.

It's considered non-canon, mainly because it was shit

Yeah. It’s not super important to the story tho. He was “poisoned” and the effect didn’t kill him, but instead made him smaller. It’s basically a murder detective groundhogs day. Some stories are really great tho.

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Was captured by some guys during an investigation, they gave him some experimental poison and instead of dying he turned into a kid for some reason. Don't know why they didn't simply kill him with a knife or something.
They explained it several times but most of the time it's not really relevant.

This granny was better.

from the dusty mason...

Yeah

Pink panther, he fucks everything up and still solves the case

Just one more thing, sir... This has really been bothering me... Earlier, you said that you were aboard a plane on the night of the murder, and you have the flight plan to prove it... and hmm the victim was shot but what doesn't add up is... you see, he was also on the flight plan, using another name... so tell me sir... just an idea, but if the killer was on that plane, why would he shoot the victim instead of simply, oh I don't know, throwing him out of the plane?

Wrong

plot twist, columbo doesnt have a wife, i have a solid theory about it

Fair enough, but I feel like Columbo is too ingrained to his mannerisms and idiosyncrasies. This isn't like recasting Bond or Doctor Who or even Indiana Jones where there's a lot of open ground for an actor to bring new stuff in, Columbo HAS to act in a way because he was essentially Peter Falk.

>Columbo HAS to act in a way because he was essentially Peter Falk.

I respectfully disagree. Falks interpretation of the character was all him, but that's as far as it goes.

It is like Bond, you're right, and there was a time when people thought that even recasting Connery was a bad fucking joke, but here we are decades later.

Crawl back to your desert, Ahmed

>It is like Bond, you're right, and there was a time when people thought that even recasting Connery was a bad fucking joke, but here we are decades later.
Where they were proven right?

Every Bond has there own pros and cons. Some have more cons than pros.

Connery probably does have the definitive performance though, lets be honest.

>Connery probably does have the definitive performance though
Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it.

>and there was a time when people thought that even recasting Connery was a bad fucking joke, but here we are decades later.
Okay, I understand you. You're right, maybe Ruffalo's own take on Columbo would be better than just doing an impression, but still, I feel that the character himself is closed down to be done much differently, you know? He has to ask one more thing and all that, Bond never had this much characterization.

Still, you never know. Maybe.

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Does duo count too?

>Columbo pops by your work place
>asks lots of snide questions
>feed him some bullshit
>phew, finally the retard is leaving
>"eh, just one more thing"
What do, Sup Forums?

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Immediately start covering my tracks. That bumbling idiot won't outsmart me.

delete cunny folder

A show this wholesome will never exist again =(

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This is the only correct answer mon ami

I don't understand this, HBO is always looking for new shows
Columbo is certainty a hit

>Columbo is certainty a hit

Not guaranteed in the modern day. Colombo by its very nature is more often than not a slow burn.

spbp

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disagreeing makes you sexist

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really? how so?

Oh shit, I'm definitely going to have to check this out.

And, obviously, the best detective is Tom Barnaby from Midsomer Murders

The woman in that episode who was into him was so beautiful.

Did she even solve a single case in her show?

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Fuck off you disgusting weeb

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Seriously have any of you seen how Kojak treats mob bosses like the little pieces of shit that they are or when he talks to them like they're dumb kids? It's glorious.

comfiest show in the history of ever. I'll never forget coming home from high school everyday and turning on USA and watching like 3 hours of Monk. It was like massaging your brain

Such a comfy character.

curling up with daddy on a Winter's Sunday watching this

>its a Cooper throws stones at bottles to solve the case episode

> you see according to the flight plan, this guy here is Dr. Pavel. He even has some of the same blood. But I've dug a little deeper. This guy was dead long before the plane crashed with no survivors. And most of his blood is different from Pavels.
>what is it you saying Quincy?
>This guy isn't Pavel. Pavel is alive, and this guy was murdered.

Fucking underrated.

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I love Stabler but any competent police department would have fired this guy after the 5th or 6th time he let himself get emotionally invested in a case and physically attacked a suspect

Come up with a convenient lie/reasoning to explain some seemingly superfluous detail about the circumstances related to the murder I committed. This is great, I can innocently steer the suspicion towards someone else!

>a better detective

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yeah, but he was just a genius, meanwhile columbo had to work his way up to solving