Wew

wew

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If your anus has a tip, it might not be your anus

Gotta love the inherent implication that Paltrow is into anal sex for some reason.

What the hell is she still doing in the Marvel movies?!

Meh some Kevin Spacey anal tips would have more intrinsic value.

Have we really fallen so far from God's light so quickly?

In fairness they seem to be trying to write her out of them as best they can.

>taking relationship advice from someone who is divorced
Why? Why?! WHHHHHYYYYYHHYYYY?!!?!??!???????!??!!!!

Every lame middlebrow actor just does capeshit now. It's pathetic and immediately really makes me lose respect for any of them.

Remind me.. how many limes can she fit in her ass at once?

What are they?

the tips?

>year 1 + 2016
>still within God's Holy Light
afraid not my friend, may he be merciful.

My dick

You have to use goop

communication, "it's not like in porn", lube

Make sure you shit all over his dick for maximum pleasure.

anal douche with 7 limes beforehand
it's a three step process

Don't do it. It's honestly gross and the whole room smells like shit and there is shit on your dick and shit everywhere. It's so fucking vomit inducing. It's nothing like in porn

You clean the ass first, retard.

This is not true. It depends on your girl. I've had anal where there was shit on my dick. But I've also had anal where there wasn't shit on my dick and it didn't smell. Anal feels different than vagina sex.

lol @ this sodomite

gotta use an anal douche

>Anal feels different than vagina sex.
Yeah the vagina is warm and moist and massages your entire dick. Its feels so much better. It's also fairly clean and you don't need a 45 minute enema to have sex.

Women have an involuntary reflex whereby, upon first entrance to the anus, they say "no, don't". Ignore this, she won't respect you if you stop.

She might squirt, but don't worry, it's just urea, drink it down, it's good for the skin

It's best to go from "just" the tip" to balls-deep in one swift movement, it's like ripping off a band aid

>Tip No. 1 - Lay out a plastic tarp if you've got the diarrhea shits
>Tip No. 2 - Have some bug spray handy in case the smell attracts too many flies
>Tip No. 3 - Don't wipe your dick on the curtains afterwards

Unfun fact:

Anal sex SMELLS FUCKING TERRIBLE if the receiver didn't really wash up well.

Maybe some people are into that feces smell as an element of kink but poop smell just makes me lose my hardon honestly.

You gotta do what said. There is a reason why dubs guy told Sabrina to "Don't stare at it, eat it" in Dubsguy: The Motion Picture.

The Great Frog slew Yahweh last year. Things are just going to keep on getting weirder and there's no End Times to save us.

you're supposed to shit on his chest, have you never seen not another teen movie?

#ANALSEXTIPS
#CLASS

I would take back that possible blasphemy if I were you. You don't just speak so lightly and insultingly of God. Good luck, user.

It really does. And the shit smell is still pretty strong even after they clean it. It's honestly just utterly disgusting.

anal sex is for homos

I want to ram my dick down her throat, fucking stupid ass limey bitch

>come back from club with gf
>both drunk
>try anal
>it's too tight
>use condom and lube
>still too tight
>pull the condom off
>there's shit on it
>pretend to fall asleep instead

What does Goop's butthole smell like?

>if you stick your dick in an ass it smells like shit!!

woah..glad the great ass slaying chads on Sup Forums set the record straight for me...i had no idea..

Underrated post

If you train your asshole sufficiently you can actually discreetly store a compact enema rig up there so you're ready to go any time, any place. You can get just such a "travel kit" complete with collapsible bag stand on GOOP.COM for only $165.

Wait...are you trying to tell me that girls shit out of their asses?

Girls don't poop. If you're doing anal and there's shit it's a trap

>massages your entire dick
What do you think is beyond the asshole? In your mind do you just enter an asshole and then there is nothing behind it? Anal massages the entire dick too. An asshole is also warm like a vagina, it's called body heat.

Sorry you've had to deal with girls who don't wipe their ass and are walking around with shit allover their asshole.

she's running out of things to do with those jade vagina eggs she can't sell.

if god didn't want us to fall from His light, then he shouldn't have given us each an anus.

I really like to lick girls' assholes.
Not like gape the shithole and lick their rectum but go ring around the rosie with their tushy.
I swear bros, it's so fucking hot how girls react to it. Girls don't do any sort of anal activity besides the natural act of taking the browns to the super bowl.
It's so taboo for them, and I get off the thought of them feeling dirty from how much they're enjoying their asshole getting licked.
Then you add a finger to the pussy. Two fingers, "walk" in that spongy bitch.
Another hand grabbing their ass cheek, JIGGLE IT!!!!
Fuck yea. That or having a girl who's a virgin and you play with her pussy. The way she grips onto your arm, wew. Diamonds bros.
I just fucking love eating pussy and licking ass. Nothing makes me cum quickly like a girl sitting on my face

Eleventeen.

flys always ruin the scene

hey look a stray housefly just buzzing through the scene

I kind of think you have to have somewhat of a feces fetish to be into actually engaging in anal sex. Like I sometimes like how it *looks* in porn, because female asses look great and fuckable, but the smell is just so repulsive that the people I've known who are into it tend to be the types who talk about how they like eating ass partly BECAUSE of the nasty 'corn' taste of the shit juice etc. Euuugghh.

Anal is something you dive into. It is something you plan

To clarify, *the girls who DON'T do any assplay.
It's still hot but not the same with dirty hoes. Conservative cuties are top tier

So you're saying that people in this thread are fucking traps? And following the 11th commendment from god declaring "traps are gay" that those people are therefore gay....

Oh fuck, am I in a thread with a bunch of homosexuals???

found the completely inexperienced virgin

Great thread

good thing it's her anal that has a tip.

What makes you think they care? Your opinion is a drop in the sea. It's their job to act and right now superhero shit is popular and brings in the cash. It's all about the money.

1: Talk about it with your partner first:
>Couples who do not have excellent sexual communication, who don’t freely give and receive feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t, and who don’t have a high level of trust should not be having anal sex. There are some couples who enjoy anal sex a lot, maybe 15 percent of all straight couples. But if you ask them how often they have anal vs. vaginal intercourse, they’ll say maybe they have anal one time for every five or ten times they have vaginal intercourse.

2: Forget what you've seen in porn
>The way the rectum curves shortly after the opening tells us we need to make a lot of adjustments for anal to feel good. Also, the two sets of sphincter muscles that nature placed around the opening of the anus to help humans maintain their dignity when in crowded spaces (to keep poop from dropping out) mean there’s an automatic reflex if you push against them from the outside. So one of the first things someone needs to do if they want to be on the receiving end of anal sex is to teach their sphincter muscles to relax enough that a penis can get past their gates. This takes a lot of practice. They show none of this in porn.

3: Lube is the key
>Unlike the vagina, the anus provides no lubrication. So in addition to teaching the sphincter to relax, and in addition to getting the angle right so you don’t poke the receiver in the wall of the rectum, you need to use lots of lube. Do not use numbing lube, and do not have anal sex while drunk or stoned. Pain is an important indicator that damage can occur if you don’t make the necessary adjustments, including stopping. If there is pain, perhaps try replacing a penis with a lubed and gloved finger. The glove will help your finger glide more easily, and might be more pleasurable for the person on the receiving end. Also, this allows a woman to do anal play on a male partner. When it comes to anal sex, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

I thought she wasnt in any since iron shit 3?

xhamster.com/videos/she-shoves-a-dildo-in-his-ass-7659503

Well, obviously; but I disdain them nonetheless. And thus have more respect for people like Robert Pattinson, who seem to at least put in some effort into doing interesting and challenging things.

If anal sex is always gay? Then what does eating ass make you? I'm asking for a friend.

Haha I fucking knew it I have the power to sense which females love anal by their appearance

This is what I get out of eating ass bro
See

>Goop likes to fingerbang men's buttholes

Haha look at this faggot trying to have film discussion This thread is all about anal, get out loser.

>anal sex was created in our lifetime

it's not relationship advice, it's anal sex advice

I will never understand eating ass, it is absolutely disgusting

Goop is a member of the chosen tribe so I'm going with Sup Forums's default answer on this one.

you only enjoy it when in that extreme frame of mind. it's not like they go around putting shit sauce on their food

Hollywood is going down the drain. Gotta get those shekels before shit hits the fan. I mean I'd probs do the same.

Anal sex tips are not "relationship advice". Even if your relationship hinged on how you fuck someone in the ass

t. virgin

>ywn watch a Seymour Butts VHS with teenage Paltrow

Judging by the given dates though, it sounds like Sasha Grey and Jenna Haze really invented getting F'd in the A. I mean, Jenna Jameson and Asia Carerra didn't do it when they were at the top of the world.

I wish someone would fuck me up the ass. No homo

I can't watch interracial anal because it looks like the girl is taking a shit

not really fren, just not into anal stuff

once I fucked my ex gf in the ass and shit came out, fortunately we were in the shower... after this event I never fucked any girl there again

never had the will to eat ass, you should be really an extreme case as said

>porn (((producers)))

no no, I feel this way too

although I would like that someone to be pic related

>Then what does eating ass make you?
Beta

Me too.

A cute girl so it's extra not homo

>extreme frame of mind.
Just say mentally ill, sheesh

How do I meat a girl like prime Goop?

At temple?

Found the brainlett

They hang a sheet in the middle of the room that stops you from seeing girls

so cute girls have comb overs?

Why is she so heckin lewd?

Anal doesn't massage your dick, you've been watching way to much porn. It's only the sphincter that does it. The anus/colon is a large empty cave in which feces it suppose to accumulate

she was wein and steined

She was peak sexy in Iron Man 1.

found the GRIDS sodomite

>tfw taste in porn changes almost daily
>tfw always looking for the next weird porno or fetish and feeling terrible after fapping to it

>gets dumped for Rihanna
>pretends to be a sex goddess

bitch please you a dead fish and you know it

Lube, listen, and lube. /Thread

Sue is so cute

but poop comes from there

I swear incest just got "invented" too.

Like there's 100 times more incest-themed porn in existence right now than there was one year ago

She technically hasn't been in any marvel movies, but she did make a last-minute appearance in Homecoming.

1. Take a really massive shit BEFORE

and now you know how she got her Oscar

rape my b-hole goop!