Helium tank arrived today

>helium tank arrived today

don't do it user, you have nothing to live for. Might as well go out in a cooler way.

just ride it out, bro

>cb6000 arrives wednesday

See you in hell.
Lol joke, you will just reincarnate again

>delivery drivers working on 31.Dec.

your country must be shit. no wonder you order helium tanks.

Then stop shitposting and get to it

Helium is a precious commodity, don't waste it

>There are people who actually kill themselves without leaving a trail of blood and bodies behind them

Top soyboyism

>dragon dildo arrives next week

I love doing phone pranks in a squeaky voice too, user.

dont google this unless you wanna look like a fagget in front of yo girl

What now?

>using helium instead of a bullet

we can recycle metal user the helium you aspirate after you die is going to be lost to the vacuum of space forever

please think this through

you realize there's only a finite supply of helium in the world you asshole

You know you can just use a belt and a door, right? Suicide is much easier and cheaper than you think.

>finite supply of helium
>infinite supply of humans
So it's confirmed. We are in hell.

where are you from op? if you are from a 1st world country, you have no fucking excuse. you have it so easy

Anyone have a good recommendation on the type of mask I need for this?

>humans are a renewable resource
at last I understand the riddle of steel

they put oxygen in those now.

why do you wear the mask?

They're shit. My erection split my last one in two after a few months of very irregular use (and only for a few hours at a time desu)

Go for solid plastic, not this cheap shit thats two parts glued in the middle. Or go metal.

new year just now lads. I was taking what are essentially asian hotpockets out of the oven when the fireworks starting going off outside.

we are all going to make it this year. friends. gfs, jobs and success.

>the helium you aspirate after you die is going to be lost to the vacuum of space forever
thats not how the atmosphere works

>we are all going to make it this year. friends. gfs, jobs and success.
How fucking old are you to believe that bullshit

rip
guess I'll just route my exhaust into my car

He's either a boomer or too ignorant of the current year.

>Trump is president
>still can't get laid

None of this is difficult unless you're an autistic moron like yourself

>fuck up hanging yourself
>live as a vegetable for the rest of your life

Just don't forget to say "goodbye, cruel world... " when it takes effect and the Donald Duck voice kicks in.

Pics please

DONT DO IT user

You should get a gun, get rid of a few politicians/Disney execs before you go out in a blaze of glory, and write yourself into the annals of Sup Forums forever with a banepost before you die

>implying anyone will pay to keep him alive

...

where would someone theoretically get a helium tank?

Heidi was kino

Party supplies store.

Are you sure it's pure helium? I've heard they put oxygen in those stupid balloon tanks.

>you realize there's only a finite supply of helium in the world you asshole
There's tons in the universe though.

>fuck up hanging yourself
Except you know you're doing it right when you feel dizzy in 10 seconds. It's really easy.

In non-third world shitholes people don't have to pay just to have their relatives kept alive.

to make funny voices

>I've heard they put oxygen in those stupid balloon tanks.
Yep. They changed up the levels so that people like OP can't do homemade exit bags.

Just go to your local Airgas and rent a tank, it will cost around $150, 99.9% pure

Use argon instead idiot.
Its inert like helium and they cant cut it with anything because itd fuck up the weld.

>europe
>bullet

Am I gonna use a hammer to put it in?

oh great now user will just get severe brain damage

>not hanging yourself from a building or elevated surface

Fucking n00bs I swear

how would one theoretically make an exit bag?

Tie top trash bag

user, many of us had considered it some time back, and eventually you come to really see why you definitely were right not to have done it. Things get much better, but you just have to stop sitting and waiting for it. Life will not come find you in your bedroom or on your couch.

I'll pray for you.

AND THIS IS WHY THE CHINESE ARE BEATING US.

Serious question. Are helium tanks good to go nowadays? I heard the mix the helium just to prevent this kind of things.

Depends on the country

Just hang yourself. The most effective low cost suicide method. If you want to go, you can burn coal in a closed off space and raise the CO levels and basically choke without the feeling of choking. But really what's a minute or 2 of suffering compared to an eternity of rest.

Look at this bad baby.

Sometimes people survives hanging although is the most popular method of suicide by far.

Apparently very painful way of going. You use helium because your body can't tell the difference

I'm genuinely enjoying the memeing going on around here about suicidal ideation. Keep it up thanks for the hearty keks my fellow 4channers

Goodbye Sup Forums.
I'll see you big guys on the other side.

...

reminder they all put oxygen in their tanks so you can't die anymore

just have the worst hangover ever

Is 80% good enough?
Asking for a friend.

Nope. If the other 20% is oxygen you will survive. Our own air we breath is only 20% oxygen.

Maybe he just really likes balloons

Thats exactly how it works

Thank you Grim Reaper.

What and all those fucks filling up balloons are off the hook? Fuck off and let the man use the limited helium for something actually important than filling up fucking balloons.

Do it.

Thanks

come for a swim in the skeleton cave

If you're shopping around for methods, you probably aren't ready to do it.

>all helium released just floats off into space
yeah you're retarded

>got a gf
>got a job
>I'm stupid af so I cant climb the ladder
>shit payment
>50hrs a week
JUST

my uncle works at the helium store, how much can i sell pure uncut helium for on the black market?

Why do they do this? Isn't it preferable to have the guy just kill himself instead of botching it and living with brain damage for the rest of his life?

>Why do they do this?
Spite.

>le helium is in short supply meme
Stop posting any time

You can still get 99.9% helium you just need to go to somewhere like Airgas and ask for it

Why do you use it?

giv pur heyyum

her fren take a puff

im breezzing oxden no heyyum

Use a long rope and jump off a window. 100% success rate.

goodnight!

>open stove
>start lighter once the room is filled with gas
>kill your normie neighbors and belongings as well as yourself (so no one can enjoy them or go through them)

hehe sory fren dat wos jus mi fart

Dis gutsing

Do the mods let this thread stay up because they all want us dead?

h-hes fast

...

>user knows how fucked up the world is and wants to kill himself
>does it in the most pathetic way possible instead of getting rid of some corrupt 0.01%ers
I'll never understand this. If I wanted to kill myself I'd find a way to take out a couple of high placed assholes before dying in a blaze of glory.

>Sit there and empty an entire helium tank into your lungs
>"Well that was a disappointment" in squeeky helium voice
This has me laughing so hard

Watch this kino

>Exit bag doesn't work
>Rage in your room screaming FUCK, SHIT, GOD DAMNIT with helium voice

which is better, this or just straight up jumping off the building

Some people survive jumping.

>Airgas

I'd hesitate to send even my worst enemies to deal with those fucks

>dying before you've taken revenge on everyone who has ever hurt you
What is this, amateur hour? You're supposed to live to spite them and then in 20-30 years when they're old and frail you come back and destroy their lives and everything they've accomplished in life. You're fucking doing it wrong my man.

If you kill their enemies, they win.