Disney has just given you $2 billion to rewrite the Star Wars prequels and sequels. How would you do it?

Disney has just given you $2 billion to rewrite the Star Wars prequels and sequels. How would you do it?

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I would make a Kyle Katarn/Luke Skywalker buddy-cop trilogy

I made tales of the jedi instead with some changes

fuck off JJ I'm not finishing your movie for you

make everyone a cute little lesbian girl and let Sup Forums write a script, then give script to studio Mappa to make anime out of on shoestring budget, buy cigars whores whiskey lsd aeroplane car and yacht with rest of the money.

Would still be better.

Set up crossover hints throughout. A ship named "the Black Pearl", the villain "must not be named", rumors of "Starlord".
You're welcome Disney!

Get David Lynch for the job.

Keep George in charge, but don't let him surround himself with yes-men. Limitations of technology and other creatives in the pot were what made the OT great; he has good core ideas but is a pretty terrible writer

12 hours of emma roberts trying on, taking off, and modeling a variety of outfits

The biggest problem with the prequels was all of the scripts were first drafts. In the case of Attack of the Clones, the script wasn't finished as they began shooting.

i'd cast attractive minorities as important characters and not kill them off after 2 minutes like the bomber in TLJ

I'd start off one movie following an alien running through a market. We never start with aliens.

No Luke I am your fada stuff

Story focuses on Obi-wan's perspective since he's arguably the best character from the prequels and serves as the perfect bridge between the OT and the prequels.
Also more emphasis put on their relationship, less on the Padme one

1. Han solo is a dindu
2. increase luke cuckold scenes
3. Sometime after leia kisses Luke, she reports him to Alliance high command for sexual harasment
4. After they find out they're twins, he is registered as a sex offender
5.leia flys throughout the 3 films to fix the continuity.
6.Darth vader is luke and leia's mother, her name is changed from padme to esther.
8.Palpatine is replaced by Shiva, and orders esther to spirit the younglings away from the temple instead of murdering them
9.Loosely implied that jedi are child molesters
10.She gives birth to luke and leia while also having her limbs replaced.
11. anakin is some hot guy from naboo, who obiwan murders out of jealousy
12.Luke is literally retarded, which is why he lives with his uncle and aunt. Esther visits from time to time.
13. Instead of turning back from the dark side at the end of ROTJ, she simply kills everyone and 'lets the past die'

what's 7?

hire George back on

I'd probably read the EU novels and pick stuff from there.

i have no idea i'm already drunk

>Sequels are not about defeating an even bigger empire, that was supposed to be defeated years ago, but about tracking down a supposed sith terrorist organization.
>The new Jedi Order is an extremist organization, obsessed with tracking down and punishing "heretics".
>MC is a newly formed Jedi, mentor is Kyle Katarn

Why, user? Why

Happy New Years, user

Hooly shit prime hershlag was hot

fanfiction.net/s/12751194/1/STAR-WARS-Episode-I-AN-ENCROACHING-EVIL

Leave the prequels alone

Retcon the fuck out of the sequels. No Luke, no Han, no Leia, no not-Rebels, no not-Empire, set a century or two after Return of the Jedi.

Why rewrite the PT/ST and not all? Start from 0.
Rewrite both OT/PT/ST. All of it with better effects and actors. Fuck off with your OT nostalgia.

>set a century or two after Return of the Jedi.
That defeats the purpose. Episode's 7,8&9 are supposed to finish the saga, not just be filler. You're making the same mistake as Disney.

there is no need to remake
they are perfect for what they are

>just remake everything
Hollywood, is that you?

No rewrite, I'd just film the first draft of Star Wars.

i really feel that the prequels told a good story. few major changes are necessary, mostly post production stuff. settings of a few events.
new sequels would follow luke after the defeat of the empire. main focus of the three movies would be rise of the knights of ren. completely eliminate the first order, rey, finn, and poe.

I just came in my pants

The only issue i have with the prequels is that there is too much of a timegap between Ep I and II. So change attack of the clones to Ep I, basically have the new Ep II be in the style of Clone Wars Tv series but the battle over Coruscant is the ending of Ep II instead of the beginning of Ep III. Ep III remains mostly unchanged.
For the sequels you throw out the entire new Disney story. Fuck that. Instead we do something interesting and do a reversal of the OT, in which the Republic is the dominant force in the galaxy, but a small but slowly growing Imperial Loyalist Rebel group tries to reform the Galactic Empire. The protagonists here will be the children of Luke/Mara Jade and Han/Leia while the old cast will be supporting roles with Leia as Chancellor or Vice Chancellor, Han as Admiral of the Republic Fleet and Luke as Jedi Grand Master, but since Luke is busy rebuilding the order, Leia needs to completely rebuild democracy and Han is busy keeping the new Republic under control so the new cast will have to do most things alone or with a small task force of people.
I just think that would be interesting

>Luke "I feel a disturbance in the force"
>Kyle "You always feel a disturbance in the force"
that would be amazing

>still have Rebels
>this time they're trying to FORM an empire

You are just as creatively bankrupt as Disney/LFL.

George?

My name is George so that totally creeped me out for second until I realized what you meant.

I'd just ask to make my own trilogy. If Rian Johnson gets his own, and he fucked up, why can't I?

>and he fucked up,
Thank god someone else sees it. TLJ was terrible, right?

Star wars really could have been neet

>more empire and rebels shit
Yeah, get out. You're fired.

So then how about we just leave Star Wars alone and let it die?

Are you sure...I know where you live...You know me...

Make everyone black

You want some Bailey's?

IF you're going to make a finale trilogy, then actually have it end the saga, do't just have it be about something else. That's what Disney is doing; just making a story about something else that happened after.

My name is John...

I'd make a short, shitty film for free, and then by 2 billion dollars worth of tickets to give it a head start. That, combined with people wanting to see it because of the press (guy but 2 billion dollars of tickets) and the fact that it's star wars, will make it one of, if not the highest grossing films of all time.

You are an absolute genius.

>no little boy anakin
>play up more that Anakin is a legendary star pilot with a temper
>Anakin is destroyed piece by piece by the jedi/sith. Wounded horribly in each movie until he becomes a Jedi cyborg.
>Obi is a Jedi detective
>clones are a mysterious race of blue skins from the outer rim created by Darth Grevious (who was being manipulated by Sidious)
>Tyrannus is the first "militant" sith lord in 1000 years or something. He is a sith reformist who is creating the empire. Sheds title of Darth for Count Dooku
>in contrast to Dooku, Sidious is a sith fundementalist, and beggar whose apprentices all left him for Tyrannus' more attractive offers
>Sidious manipulates politicians and commanders by making a meager living as a fortune teller -- only his crystal ball is a holocron
>Maul is a sith assassin
>Jango (sans "Fett") is Dooku's infamous mandalorian champion (not a bount hunter -- no tie to Fett)
>Yoda doesn't fight
>Mace is the militant Jedi leader, and only foil to Tyrannus
>Padme is Anakin's wife, but she ultimately leaves him as he becomes too unstable
>no pod racing
>limited droid federation
>storm troopers are good guys (essentially clone troopers)
>no reveal that Anakin is Vader at end of final movie. That reveal can be left for ESB
>no R2D2 or C3P0
>Anakin secretly idolizes Dooku and Grevious, which makes his ultimate transformation into a Cyborg sith lord ironic -- he's essentially created in their images.

Put 1.9 billion of the budget into my bank account as my fee, use the other .1 to remake the movie scene for scene with random actors, first come first serve. Use the money to disappear and live the good life away from Star Wars autists.

TPM is pretty close to that anyway. It actually kind of freaked me out the first time I watched it after reading those comics; I'm pretty convinced all Lucas did was re-use that draft and change a few things around to fit the lore that was already established.

Get rid of the Rule of Two for the Sith. Make Darth Maul the main villan until a new hope when Vader takes over. No Gungans or droid armies. No trade wars or senate speeches.

It's just HIDDEN FORTRESS in space.

Its more unique than what Disney has now while not copying the EU. I'm also not talking about what Diseny currently does which is just slapping a new paintjob on old stuff like vehicles and scenes, but a new story where the bad guys aren't the dominant force. Having the Empire/Bad guys be the underdogs and having them grow slowly is something unique a new and opens up a lot of possibilities

You just took out all the bad, but replaced it with nothing? Are you Rian Johnson?

>Its more unique than what Disney has
That is a LOW FUCKING BAR you've set for yourself, user.

Prequel
>It's
Sequel
>Shit

Thank you Disney,have a nice day

That doesn't make it any less true, and its also better than people who just want to film the EU and thats it

Exactly. It's actually kind of funny how everyone likes to talk about the Kurosawa influence in Star Wars and completely ignores that TPM is much more of a remake of The Hidden Fortress.

Or for that matter, how much people seem to be missing the Kurosawa influence around Luke in TLJ and complaining about how out of place they are.

Disney ran out of ideas

pretend im doing star wars,
but do 40k instead, knowing it will flop cause audiences dont like grimdark, but you know fuck disney.

>Star Wars VII: The secret of the new death star, Boba fett goes to the sun, and R2D2 fights a lava snake

Would have unironically been better than what we got.

>mfw Mickey trashed Kyle and butchered Luke

An episode about Obi-wan and Anakin getting involved with the Twi'lek sex trafficking and deathsticks.

The Rashomon sequence might be the only inspired part of the whole film, but the context in story is still awful and destroys Luke as a character.

I'd have Anakin be a young man in his 20's who wants NOTHING to do with the Force. He's happy being with his mom and building C-3PO and Podracing. He knows he is strong in the Force but represses it, only using it in small doses for good. The entire first movie is spent focusing on this and ending with his reluctant agreement to training with Obi Wan.

Then, through whatever means, Obi-Wan comes across him and pushes hard to the Jedi Council to train him. Everyone, (the Jedi Council, Anakin, Palpatine, etc) is against it. They all see him as TOO powerful (Palpatine especially, since he doesn't want anyone in his way) and instead only wants him watched over. Obi-Wan is assigned to this, but attempts to train him in secret anyways.

The second movie is Obi-Wan training him in secret. At first, things go well. But, slowly, the two begin to butt heads and hate one another as Anakin doesn't want this life but Obi-Wan does as his mentor died tragically before the events of the trilogy and he wants to make good. This eventually leads to Anakin being off planet with Obi-Wan training and coming to blows with one another over whatever. He returns home to find that everyone was slain from whatever. Anakin loses it and unleashes his raw power, killing his family's murderers. Yoda feels this and almost passes out from the raw energy.

This leads to Obi Wan being found out by the Jedi Council and Anakin becoming corrupted as he is thrown into a life he does not want. Now that he is at his weakest, Palpatine takes him under his wing and eventually persuades him to take out the entire Jedi Council himself.

He sends Anakin after the council and this ends in all but Yoda and Obi Wan being slain. They do incredible damage to Anakin but flee. This leads to the rule of Palpatine and Darth Vader.

Basically take parts of the prequels and expand on them. Flesh out good parts and leave out the bad. Focus on Anakin's internal struggle.

Include the Anchorhead scene. Use the rest of the money to pay royalties to John Williams' son and save Yub Nub and the Max Reebo tune.

>no pod racing
You lost me

They can hire the best director and get the best writers, they will never make a good star Wars movie because the cunt in pic related will meddled in the film. She hand picked the actors, she will injects an anti-male feminist narrative in the story. She wants asians actor to pander to China etcc... There will never be a good SW again

wow i saw xmen too

make it a fan service, but also action packed dumbed down shit with a side love story so it makes billions of dollars and im guaranteed to work in hollywood forever now.

wtf is he doing here

I'd give Grievous more screen time, better fights, and a better send off.

He's a lot of wasted potential

This, and pay him 60 grand, pocket the rest

Did the prequels always exist? If they didn't, did Indiana Jones 4 exist? Because if either still exist then I'd just have 120 minutes of George getting kicked in the balls. We'll get people into the theater by having a Warwick Davis cameo.

just watch genndy's run and forget sith every existed

this. Grevious in Tartakovsky clone wars was dope as fuck
youtube.com/watch?v=WIj7gIDFDe4

I think the best idea would be to make them thematic, not actually using Skywalkers in all three trilogies.

>PT
Prequel Trilogy for instance deals with the corruption of a Jedi hundreds or even thousands of years ago. You could make the settings technology completely different, or even just have it on a single planet and be more LOTRish. But you tell the story of the fall of a society and of a man(or woman even).

>ST
Sequel Trilogy, again thousands or hundreds doesn't really matter, just much later. Showing how even though good won that life is actually a bit more complicated than black and white and dealing with the grey areas of the force and how the light and the dark can exist with each other. Again the look of the galaxy can be overhauled.

pink=real
yellow=cgi
blue=things that not going to suck

>Warwick Davis

Yeah nothing puts asses in the seats like Warwick Davis lmao

The Empire wins.

>prequels
Forget childhood. Nobody wants to see Darth Vader as a toddler. Start when he's already an adult and freshly approved Jedi. Don't make him some dumb hothead with authority issues, but a balanced guy who has it together. The exemplary type everyone agrees will go far. Until he falls in love and his act starts to come apart, bit by bit. Episode 1 tells how he meets and bonds with his future wife while on a mission. He doesn't marry a princess, but an ordinary civilian girl.
Luke and Leia are born already in Ep 2, but Anakin doesn't get to see them much, because he's always out on missions over the unstable galaxy and such, and it gives him stress.

Meanwhile the corrupt republic goes unstable with constant rioting and terrorist attacks. They clone an army to keep order in the galaxy, which raises public ethical debates and opposition. And sparks the clone wars.

Anakin tries to protect his family while trying to keep his private life a secret, all the while conducting his duties as a veteran Jedi. The council figures something's amiss and he gradually loses their trust and all the privileges his hard work brought for him, until being finally exposed and fired from the order.
Everything culminates on a revolution spanning multiple systems. Anakin finds himself powerless to save those he loves in the mayhem, until Palpatine lends him a hand. He argues that only a military coup can restore order and Anakin chooses to help him out of noble reasons, even though it leads him to fight and kill the Jedi. The accidental deaths of his wife and children then push him over the edge. The children are saved, but he doesn't know it, leading him into the final, tragic confrontation with Obi-Wan.

Literal reddit

You've got my vote.

>sequels
The Empire doesn't suddenly come back with a new name after being utterly crushed in ep 6. They control a portion of the galaxy, while the new republic holds another. A lot of systems have separated from both sides and declared independence. Leia's organization leads an effort to reunite the separatists with the republic, while the first order tries to break them further apart. Both lack the military power to directly conquer the galaxy.

The Knights of Ren could change the situation, being a group with the power to overthrow local governments overnight, their fame intimidating the others. Luke's few remaining apprentices search individuals attuned to the Force to help defend planets from the siths' influence. Rey is one such person they find. She's not the only Jedi in the universe nor super special.

Somebody's going to have to pay me to write any more of this bullshit.

I make the empire a little more diverse. Nothing too wild, just enough so stop the lefties calling the empire white supremacists and Sup Forums tards to stop idolising them

>If I had taken the prequel trilogy to a marketing company, episode I would have started here [episode III] and episodes II and III would've been about darth vader killing people. But at the end of the day, I just couldn't write movies like that.

A young Anakin Skywalker's mother is killed and he is enslaved by the Tusken Raiders, who gradually acculturate him into their savage lifestyle until one day when he is a capable adult, the tribal leader casts him out of the village for as he is an alien he can never lead them, but may try as their strongest. After his alienating escape into the desert, Anakin comes upon a minor Jedi shrine/mausoleum by opening its massive stone door with the force while fleeing a sandstorm. Within he finds the lightsaber and robes of a Jedi who vanished while praying around an idol carved out of pure kyber. He spends days lost in its mysteries, contemplating the idol while foregoing food or drink until the door opens again, stirring him from his meditation, and Obi-wan Kenobi enters, having sensed his enormous presence of the force. Obi-wan takes him for a Raider by his clothes, demanding to know what he's done with the Jedi who dwelt in the shrine, until he realizes, after Anakin picks up the lightsaber to defend himself reflexively, that he felt Anakin's presence. Obi-Wan holds a hand out to him in friendship and the two of them leave the temple, after Anakin has dressed himself in the abandoned Jedi's clothes, and the two of them trek through the desert to Mos Eisley. Anakin having no experience with civilization indulges his thirst for women and drink, and while Obi-Wan sleeps that night, seduces a traveling woman of the Republic with the force without even knowing it. Obi-Wan and Anakin board the next transport to Coruscant and the Jedi temple, where the monks are astonished to find a naturally gifted force-user of such savage countenance. He is inducted into the order and begins training to refine his impulses, nearly besting Obi-Wan while sparring and giving him quite a scare while doing so, only to thrust his hand out in friendship, apologizing. The two of them are then tasked with protecting the princess of besieged Naboo…

In the skies above Naboo, Anakin and Obi-Wan meet Sheev Palpatine, Senator of Coruscant, who is attempting to negotiate the settlement of a cold war between Naboo's province of the galaxy and the outer rim trade federation, who introduces them to crown princess Padme Amidala. Agents of the trade federation have attempted kidnapping Amidala for ransom in recent days and the two Jedi are placed under the authority of Senator Palpatine to safeguard her and her father, with the older and more experienced Obi-Wan assigned to the girl. In his time spent around the negotiating table guarding the king of Naboo, Anakin establishes a bond with Palpatine, who appreciates the hardship of his upbringing among the sand people and cultivates in him a jealous hatred of the trade federation and other non-human inhabitants of the galaxy. When trade federation spies sneak aboard their shuttle to return to Naboo's surface, killing the pilots, Anakin slays them and commandeers the craft, culminating in a thrilling fight between the cumbersome shuttle and agile fast attack ships send by the federation, in the end losing his lightsaber by throwing it across the void into the cockpit of one of the cutters, stunning Palpatine and the king with his skill as a pilot in overcoming such tremendous odds. When they return to the surface, the king insists Anakin be reassigned to guard his only daughter, awarding him a personal suit of armor and the materials to build his own lightsaber. Slowly, Anakin and Padme fall in love, and Palpatine draws him ever closer into his own political circle as a trusted lieutenant. When the Jedi council recall Obi-Wan and Anakin to report on their progress after the termination of negotiations and the outbreak of open war, Anakin at first refuses, but at his friend's urging agrees to return to Coruscant. There the Jedi sense his attachment to Princess Amidala and deliver him an ultimatum to not grow too attached, lest he forfeit his place in the Order.

Personally I'd make episode 5.5 which focuses on Leia's time as Jabbas sex slave.

After numerous missions many years later, Obi-Wan and Anakin find themselves on Tatooine once again infiltrating the front lines of a nearly-defeated trade federation. A band of Tusken Raiders ambush a Republic outpost near their camp, and upon rushing to aid it, Anakin sees the familiar tribal symbol of those who killed his mother and took him in so long ago. His mind hardened by long association with Sheev, Anakin flies into a rage, slaughtering the tribe, ignoring even Obi-Wan's orders to stop pursuing them once they begin to retreat. Unsure how we would explain this to the Jedi council, Obi-Wan suggests Anakin disappear for a while back to the safety of Naboo, where, finding Padme again, he falls entirely out of the Jedi way of life in her arms. Months later, Obi-Wan comes back to explain that he has smoothed things over with the Jedi Council and Anakin will be accepted again, but finds his friend a changed man. Under the influence of the aristocratic life of the Senators Palpatine and Amidala, Anakin has grown proud of his strength and begun using his way with the force to subvert the Republic for his new wife and friend, telling Obi-Wan that the Jedi point of view of their power is one of weakness and sterility, and that the strongest humans should rule the other races of the galaxy by force; a stunned Obi-Wan orders Anakin to return with him to Coruscant for judgement before the Council and Senate as a threat to the Republic. Anakin refuses, and the two of them draw their lightsabers to a thrilling tie of a duel in which Anakin mocks Obi-Wan; shrugging off his force attacks and warning him never to return to Naboo unless he wished to see the full power he could harness by drawing on the dark side of the Force. Obi-Wan retreats and enlists the clone troopers of the Republic to return with him and the Jedi Council to subdue and contain Anakin before he threatens anyone further. Having grown to be Chancellor of the Senate, Sheev isssues "Order 66".

For the prequel:
Have attack of the clones be the first movie with Darth maul being the apprentice of Dooku. Change the rest of the story to focus more about how Obi-wan and Anakin discover the secret base of operations of the CIS in what is suppose to be a Republic planet. Ends pretty much the same with A.k.a. getting assblasted by Soon I, but successfully killing Darth maul. Have him get heavily berated by the council for killing instead of capturing. Making Anakin start to hate, or at the very least annoyed by the Jedi council.
Middle movie is just the first part of revenge of the sith, ending at the order 66 scene, accept Anakin help the youngling escape, because he still isn't pure evil. General Grevious is given a bit more importance.
Final movie has Obi-wan as the mc and he desperately tries to find all the Jedi he can. Manages to find a couple dozen and finds out that Sheev is planning a peace conference with the CIS on space station orbiting lava planet. The dozen of Jedi he gets assaults the station while Obi-wangoes down to fight Anakin on the planet. Obi-wan defeats Anakin but station assault ends horribly. Obi-wan gets the fuck out.
Don't really know how to deal with padma and the kids.

3 movies of 4 hours each exclusively including Senate discussions and Jedi sleuth work to discover the machination.

just shut the fuck up retard

As Republic Clone Troopers murder Jedi across the Galaxy, Obi-Wan flees to the side of the man he once considered his friend for protection. The Jedi having attempted to siege his and Padme's home, Anakin is vengeful and attacks Kenobi on sight; loosing all his restraint and fully embracing the dark side to begin tearing the castle apart; in his rage, Anakin, now crowned Darth Vader, injures Padme with the force as she rushes to try to calm him. Suddenly realizing what he has done, Anakin is frozen by fear of harming his pregnant wife, and Obi-Wan takes the advantage to disarm him. Drawing on the full power of the dark side, Anakin overexcites his own body with the power of the force to defeat him, glowing with energy until his limbs begin to char and blacken from the inside out, finally bursting into flame as the castle falls down around him; Obi-Wan retreating with the unconscious Padme and fleeing the planet. Sheev arrives to retrieve his apprentice, finding his body twisted and ashen, and forces his half-living body into its new cybernetic enhancements. Obi-Wan delivers Luke and Leia to the far corners of the galaxy, assuming Vader will never look in as personal a place as Tatooine for his son. We close on Mon Mothma calling a special session of the Senate to discuss limiting Palpatine's power.

...

Aka is Anakin
Soon I is Dooku

Episode I
>Clone Wars are already happening in the first movie. Evil monster clones are invading the Republic, no one knows why, it's been going on for years
>Obi-Wan is a new Jedi and his old master just got a new apprentice, 13~ year-old Padme, who's judgmental and too proud
>Obi-Wan goes on whatever adventure to learn about clones on Tatooine and meets 13~ year-old Anakin and his older brother Owen. Owen wants to stay behind and just farm, but Anakin is already a merchant pilot and dreams of becoming a warrior
>The clones do something evil, Qui-Gon Jinn and Padme show up to help Obi-Wan, Anakin saves the day at the end but Qui-Gon dies
>He gets accepted as Obi-Wan's apprentice but the Jedi Council isn't happy

Episode II
>4/5 years later
>Jedi are forbidden to love, but Padme thinks she knows better and seduces Anakin
>Meanwhile the war goes on
>Obviously power-hungry Chancellor Palpatine insists he gets more power, fearful senators agree
>Movie ends with Anakin losing his hand and marrying Padme

Episode III
>Anakin and Padme are now full-fledged Jedi
>Padme gets pregnant and concocts a reason to avoid going out
>Obi-Wan goes on an adventure to find a clone base and learns Palpatine is behind it all
>Anakin becomes more frustrated with the Jedi because he knows Padme's life ambition to be a Jedi will be destroyed if they learn she's pregnant
>Yoda learns somehow and is all "you two are fired"
>Anakin by now is proud and judgmental and scares Padme
>Palpatine realizes Obi-Wan knows so he enacts Plan Kill the Jedi
>Anakin and Padme survive, Anakin agrees to help Palpatine, Padme is uncertain
>Obi-Wan finally returns from the Outer Rim and tries to save some Jedi, he fights Anakin and throws him into a volcano or something
>Padme decides that she was wrong and wants to just raise her kids, but Obi-Wan says it's wiser to split them up
>Padme agrees to change her identity and become Bail Organa's wife or something, Obi-Wan takes the other kid to Tatooine