Fucking Hire Me Disney

>Luke hands saber to Rey
>The island is where the very first Jedi were trained
>Rey's abilities lets her see the memories and emotions that correlate to objects/places
>We see short glimpses of the very first Jedi and what happened to Luke's Order

>Finn and Poe are part of a mission
>First Order claim the map to Luke
>First Order is now on track to the planet with Kylo breaking forward from the fleet to kill Luke himself

>Luke senses Kylo coming
>Luke fights Ben to let Rey escape with the ancient Jedi texts
>Ben realizes the diversion and follows Rey while the First Order ships now hang over the planet
>Chewie and Rey try to break through the fleet
>Rey is taken to Snoke, the Falcon left stranded in space
>The Resistance receive the distress call of Chewie and choose not to bother, telling Finn their efforts are needed elsewhere
>Finn eventually finds the planet Snoke is on and where they have Rey through the Falcon

>Snoke wants to disown Ben, he finds Rey's foresight abilities with artifacts more interesting, he treats her like a daughter
>Snoke makes Rey touch the texts
>A series of quick flashes followed by a still image of tall 'beings' are shown to Rey
>Ben flies into a rage and tries to kill Rey and Snoke
>Throne room is torn apart, paralleling how Ben destroyed the Jedi temple
>The room is exposed, the Knights of Ren walk in with the order to kill Ben
>Kylo fights off various members before being bested
>Knights of Ren reveal themselves to Rey
>Twist is Rey was a student of Luke, as were they
>Snoke asks Rey to kill Ben
>Luke shows up and takes the Saber from her, dueling off the Knights, besting them

>Finn convinces the resistance to reach to planet
>Snoke and the Knights flee, Rey willing goes with them after Finn calls out to her
>Ben duels Luke in a rage
>Luke is a ghost, he died years ago. Acht-to kept his form
>gives Ben his last words as he fades
>Movie ends with Ben wounded and unconscious, the resistance finding him, his mother's hand on his

wow that interesting

>the point was to make an interesting movie
>the point was to propagate SJW propaganda and affirm the chinese cultural revolution to gain market access.

Choose wisely op.

What about the Indian market? Surely they're next.

Please read it, I spent fourteen minutes typing it out.
Then you can share your ideas on your own script.

It's shit

I'd rather just sit in silence and read more interesting threads, sorry! You should tighten it up a bit so that it isn't so long

Put your trip back on Rian.

Wow that's even worse than what we got

>Luke is a ghost, he died years ago. Acht-to kept his form
>gives Ben his last words as he fades
>Movie ends with Ben wounded and unconscious, the resistance finding him, his mother's hand on his


ENOUGH

Sorry sweatie you don't have a vagina

>t-this is how Disney SHOULD have made the movie!! I know more than the team of highly skilled writers that were hired to create the original script

TLJ was badly written, this was also badly written.

I thought it was written by Rian and Carrie on a bed.

Sounds great op

That is literally a more unadulterated ass sandwich than the one Disney served up. Fucking manchildren.

>duuuur mah script is da goods.
>duuuur not fan fiction tier donkey anus
>duuuur my mom says me write good.

Cunt.

How is this badly written? It's real good.
Look at that character growth.
Look at those revelations.
Look how Finn has something to do.
Look how it actually sets up a universe to explore.

That was terrible. Disney probably will hire you provided you're a woman or black.

Y-You write a better one.

how dare you insinuate that my genitals define my gender!

Not the user you were replying to but-
The problem is we cant get rid of TFA, and its a problem because its the foundation of the new shitty trilogy.
Ive got ideas, but I'd have to redo TFA.

I like your ideas more than TLJ by a long shot, although there are some parts that I'm not big on. The "Luke is a Ghost" twist in fact feels pretty hollow to me; it looks poignant on paper, but I often find that it leaves the viewer feeling vaguely dissatisfied after watching, like they had the wool pulled over their eyes for no substantial reason. Why not just have Luke die at the end of your story? It has for more emotional impact, Hamill gets to act, and Kylo experiences consequences. I'm not saying that's the best way necessarily, I just don't like that style of twist. In my opinion, the best reveals are gently foreshadowed throughout the film and add an emotionally-resonant narrative component instead of taking one away.
I like that you gave Finn something to do, I like that you expanded the world, I like the resistance has more texture and nuance than "good guys", I like the idea of Snoke feeling threatened but ultimately coming out on top (more or less) and I like that our characters have arcs.
All that said, Sup Forums probably isn't the best place to look for constructive criticism or to advertise your talents.

Share your ideas user.

>Finn has something to do
>He accomplished nothing throughout the whole movie

I stole the Luke was always dead idea from another user because Luke physically dying is predictable along obiwabs death.
To me it feels less of a twist and more predictable. He was dead and waiting for someone to pass in his legacy, much like yoda in a way.

>First Order=Imperial Remnant
Between ROTJ and TFA the New Republic has been trying to stamp them out. Mostly successful but theyre fanatical. What was once a war became border skirmishes and guerilla warfare.
>NR citizens and the senate are tired of fighting, oust Leia
Fighting has become costly and, to many, pointless. Chancellor Leia disagrees vehemently, it surfaces that she's Vader's daughter, she gets voted out quickly
>Causes an ideological split between NR and Leia Loyalists
Leia is joined by people who believe the IR are still a threat, some new (Poe), most older (Akbar). A sizable number of military are with her. GR ""allows"" the split because they want peace and stability, all who joined Leia lose rank and become more akin to merc fleets, and lose GR funding

Thats the text crawl in the beginning. More?

You'd obviously go more into depth with his character.
His past shows him as a taken child turned soldier.
You could always play with that.

Course more. That's what the thread is for.

this was better than the femi Nazi propaganda we got who's bright idea was it to kill off the main villain in the second movie in a 3 movie saga' also i would have much rather seen ray die than snoke. also the only original cast member that will be left in the next film will be a the character nobody likes c 3po

>Though IR are a shell of their former might, LL are barely keeping a stalemate with them
Opening sequence shows a fierce battle between the two, both on ground and in space. Loyalists eventually win. Celebrations are cut short when Leia recieves a holo from Coruscant- She's ordered to return.
>IR has brokered peace with GR, mostly on the accusation that Leia is a terrorist
The deal requires Loyalists to disband and disarm. A passionate speech by Leia falls on deaf ears as Ben Solo, her son, corroborates Leia's parentage. She refuses to back down and flees the planet before she's arrested.
>Turns out the GR split was orchestrated by Snoke
He's much like in regular TFA- Strong Sithy guy. Played on GR's desire for peace and stability and Ben Solo's desire for power. Claims he's all nasty looking because of Loyalist atrocities.
>Leia goes to Luke's Academy on Yavin for help and answers, Poe goes in search of Han Solo
Leia hasnt seen Ben for nearly a decade as her and Han left him with Luke to train. Costly decision, as it ended up splitting her with Solo. Han went back to smuggling with Chewie as it was comfortable, Poe heard he was last seen in the Outer Rim, so thats where he goes.

That was terrible fan fiction tier. Congratulations. You managed to write an even worse movie than the one we got.

>Leila gets outed as Vaders daughter
That's a really good plot point.

How exactly is that worse than what we got?

>um, no sweetie

>No Luke on Yavin, but there is a Rey
Through the years Luke sought out and personally trained many. Those he gathered on Yavin to train others, one of them being Rey. They dont know where he is-he left after "trouble" between he, Ben, and a few neo-Masters.
>Rey thinks she knows where he might be, Leia accepts her help
Audience should get a sense that Rey is hiding something. She grabs R2 (who has been with Luke for a long while) and flies off to search.
>Poe finds and saves Han and Chewie
Han ran afoul of the Hutt Cartel because he's Han, Poe saves the day with BB8 and his X-Wing. Disillusioned by his years of war and leaving his son behind, Han doesnt want to go back. Poe and Chewie try to talk him out of it, as well as a twi'lek gunner the two hired for the Falcon.
>Ben trains under Snoke
Due to his hand in throwing Leia under the bus, Ben gets some of the recognition he thinks he deserves and becomes an advisor to the new Chancellor. He comes across as antsy though, as we can see during his Sith training. He lacks focus. Snoke constantly goads and prods his apprentice's ego.
>Ground battle on a new planet, Finn gets disillusioned too
We see the after effects of Loyalist disarmament- some agreed to the senate ruling and were thusly wiped out by General Hux and his subordinate, Captain Phasma to the last-no survivors. Finn wanted peace too, but not at the cost of outright murder. He defects with plans on informing the senate about what went down, Phasma goes after him.

Assistant to Disney producer here. I'll have my own assistant read it and get back to you.

>Rey's adventures
Plug in toy adverts here as well as some fanservice and cameos. She's planet hopping, hooking up with jedi for info on Luke. Some sympathetic, some not. We see Rey as colder as time goes on.
>All roads lead to Nar Shaddaa
Han and crew because thats where he's dropping off his goods, Finn pilots a stolen Loyalist ship there because thats where he was born and there may be allies (Phasma is in pursuit), Rey because thats the last known location of Luke.
>Intercut scenes of IR taking out Loyalists left and right
IR poured money into planet-killing superweapons? No, technology to black out communications around a planet so they can do their dirty deeds without the senate knowing. Throughout Ben's storyline we see the folks he hangs around with away from the senate are sith too. No more Rule of Two apparently.
>Finn meets up with Han and Co, Poe gets lekku fever
Poe and the twi'lek start a romance, Finn convinces everyone but Han, who thinks this is all pointless, to bring him to Yavin to meet Leia and the Loyalist leaders. Phasma finds them and a fight breaks out, she's on the losing side until she calls in reinforcements-Mandalorians. Turns out Phasma is a Mando herself and joined the IR for the thrill of battle.
>Rey eventually finds Luke
In one of the scummiest parts of Nar Shaddaa. Through the tense conversation, we find out he came here to commune with the Force. As it surrounds all living things, and Nar being heavily populated by both the wicked and the just, it was a good place to see how it flowed more naturally. Why? Because jedi and sith have a tendency to bend it to suit their needs, good intention or not...and Luke had good intentions on splitting up Ben Solo and Rey.
The two of them fell in love with eachother, but the jedi forbid such things, and Luke following in his predecessors footsteps followed suit, expelling them both from the Order.

I can't believe believe all these years at Sup Forums academy and pusey posting are finally paying off.

This is better than TLJ
Don't get excited. That's not saying much.

That was SOOOO much better than what we got

>Snoke convinces Ben to step out from dad's shadow
While all this is going on, Snoke senses through the Force that things are coming to a head. He sends Ben to Nar to kill the father that 'abandoned' him. We can see Ben struggling with the idea, but he eventually relents and heads off.
>Luke and Rey concludes
Luke himself was majorly conflicted by his decision, a handful of his personally trained jedi peers disagreed with it as well (hence why Rey was allowed to stay on Yavin). So he left to sort things out within himself. He concludes that his judgement was wrong, perhaps many of the Old Ways were.
Rey is still pretty angry, says that doesnt erase the fact that a hero of hers cast her dreams and her love for another aside for the sake of ancient dogma. She attacks. A brief battle ensues between the two, Luke with his green saber defending himself easily against Rey and her saberpike. R2 tries to help as it can, but gets force pushed against a wall, taking the droid out. Luke senses the arrival of Ben and breaks away from Rey, taking R2 with him, Rey in pursuit.
>Fight at the Falcon
Phasma and the Mando squad have backed Han and Co. to the Falcon in a firefight. The Mando's are pretty competent, nearly killing Poe when he went for his X-Wing and severely wounding Chewie. The wookiee is still a great navigator though, and with the help of the twi'lek the two of them bring him aboard the Falcon and prepare to take off while Finn and Han attempt to hold off Phasma and the Mando goons.
It seems hopeless until Luke shows up, using the force to smash a number of the Mandos together and knocking them out, but is himself nearly stabbed through by Rey as he suspends a grenade thrown by Phasma (the concussive blast of which knocks Phasma out and Rey and Luke apart). Han is happy to see Luke again, and Luke apologizes to his old friend for failing him and his son and not explaining what happened.

>The End
Han forgives him, explaining that he probably rubbed off on Luke and gave him the idea to run away from his problems.
They share a smirk for a brief moment before Ben's red lightsaber stabs through the ramp, impaling his father Han. Luke, disbelieving, catches him with Finn before he crumples. Blaster fire from the Mandos prevent the pair from retaliating.
As the trio remain on the ramp on the departing Falcon, Han makes eye contact with his son. They share a brief gaze, a son sorrowful for murdering his father, a dad happy to have seen his son again.
The Falcon heads to Yavin, Ben and Co. to Coruscant. Roll credits.