Get text message

>Get text message
>"Hi, your Uber's here."
>Go outside
>See this

wat do?

be prepared to leave a hell of a tip

Why would you tip them? You already paid them.

Get in and enjoy a conversation free ride. Fuck you uber drivers I don't care about your hopes and dreams.

I've never used Uber before, are they really that annoying?

>tipping Uber drivers

Ask him where he got his jacket

go back inside to put on my scorpion jacket

>using uber

lolno, i'm content enough with my shitbox

>Be an Uber Driver
>Watch Drive 96 times
>Pick up a girl at the airport and drive with Kavinsky: Nightcall on
>"Wow, user, this a really good song."
>"You like it?"
>"Who is it by?"
>Don't answer.
>She keeps talking and I turn it up to drown her out, watching her confusion grow in the rear-view mirror.
>I start speeding across a bridge, looking for helicopters. She's terrified and I think she's calling the Police on her cell-phone.
>I run a Cadillac off the road
>It doesn't flip, and I am disappointed. I see lights and sirens behind me.
>I outrun them and start doing evasive maneuvers in back alleys and residential neighborhoods.
>I pull over under a little-used underpass and get into the back seat and confiscate her phone
>I put on my knuckle-cut-out driving gloves and backhandedly slap her, covering her mouth
>"Have you seen the movie Drive?"
>She's crying, obviously confused and paralyzed with fear
>"I'm going to take my hand off. The next words out of your mouth better be the truth, or I'm going to hurt you."
>"T.. t-that movie with Ryan Gosling?"
>I smile.
>She smiles.
>I take out my claw-hammer and use it to make her swallow a bullet
>We're best friends now, she writes me letters in the institution
>They won't let me wear the jacket, they think I'll hang myself with it

A few are

Take creepshots of him for the entire drive so I can get (you)s from Sup Forums

Some are worse than others. The best case scenario is small talk about weather or sports. Worse case the asshole will try to sell you some pyramid scheme bullshit. Uber drivers are pretty stupid for the most part and most of them are working for near minimum wage.

You're rolling the dice. It's either some middle-aged dude who doesn't make enough at his day job and has to drive Uber to make ends meet (and treats you like his psychiatrist), or some college aged dude who plays music from his soundcloud, and asks for your opinion.

Where I'm from they're all smelly antisocial Indians

This was good take a you

Wait, its already here? The application said 10 minutes! I don't have five minutes to get ready!

Psst hey you're not the chosen one btw

nice ending

Wondering what shitty choices I've made that I don't own my own car, and my life revolves around waiting for people to drive me places.

Become afraid because i'm a faggot

get in and home

so what's Sup Forumss obsession with this movie all about?

>ITT: memes redditors will never understand

Can you be an autist uber driver and say nearly nothing? I love jobs that require minimum input on my behalf verbally.
Get your shit, get out, leave me the fuck alone, neither of us care about one anothers lives, lets not fake it with small talk.

Time to leave, newfriend.

>Driver
>conversation

taxi drivers like this exist
if you don engage, 99% of people get the message pretty quick

You're a real hero, user. We don't deserve you.

Autists like me will tip you, most normies will give you 1 star for being weird which will lower your assignments.

Just like haircuts. You probably like when your barber doesn't talk, but they all talk because normies enjoy it.

It's entirely possible. You might not get a great star rating, which could affect how many fares you get down the line.

>doesn't understand the phrase conversation free

Are you able to put information on your uber thing? I've literally never had to use it, can you advertise yourself as a conversation free ride?

Pop some pills and slowly get more and more desperate and obvious in my attempts to suck his dick.

Get in.

Brilliant

>2011
>Watched Drive like once
>try to act like the driver
>no money for jacket
>my lobster sweatshirt will suffice
>wear it backwards so it matches the scorpion on the back
>get invited to party by some acquaintances
>this is my time to shine
>girl stand next to me
>she tries to make small talk
>"So what do you do for fun?"
>I wait three seconds
>"I drive"
>Really? You think you can take me home? My friend is being a bitch."
>Panic I biked here
>"alright"
>randomly grab a pair of keys in the bowl near the entrance
>we're in the car
>I turn it on, put it in reverse
>accidentally slam on the pedal
>we jut forward, turns out it was drive
>we slam into the garage door
>her head slams into the dashboard shes bleeding and silent
>people come pouring out of the house
>"What the fuck?!"
>I stay still like Ryan Gosling at the end of the movie
>"I think user and Jenna are dead! Lets call the ambulance"
>Wait til there is only a couple people out watching for emergency vehicles
>unbuckle myself, run, and hop on my bike and drive away
>Real human bean

>not Blade Driver 2049

this is america dumb swedistani jihadi

I could snap at any moment and just beat somebody to a pulp who insults my mom even a little.

Faggots are afraid of me, I am exactly like the driver, although nobody has given me a chance to display my bottled up fury.

Don't even do it, uber sucks ass and with all your expenses you get really fucked as an 'independent contractor'. Good if you need short term money but you have to deal with so much shit and basically have to give up fridays and saturdays working 9pm to 3am to make a measily $150 b4 taxes and gas. Also uber is basically collecting all you data and shit so they can replace you with an ai car.

Couple that with the fact on weeknights you are mostly driving poor walmart and ihop workers to their late night jobs where basically a third of their salary for the night is going to uber to get them there and it's pretty depressing.

>not Blade Driver Only God Will Forgive: 2049

>not Lars and the Blade Driver Only God Will Forgive: 2049

Kek

"I really enjoyed the trip and want to leave you a positive review! Whats you Uber name?"

*30 sec of silence while he stare at me through the rearview mirror*

"RealHumanBean"

I'm just some guy people like to look at. That's nothing I want to be. If I thought I was capable of something I'd leave my room

...

>not The Place Beyond Lars and the Blade Driver Only God Will Forgive: 2049