At theater

>at theater
>trailer for something dumb
>person next to me leans over to their friend: "No thanks!"

>at the theater
>mixup in assigned seeting
>have to sit between a couple
>girl keeps reaching over me to rub her bf's crotch
ugh

>at theater
>trailer for a bad movie
>i shout out "check please"
>everyone starts laughing and chanting my name

>trailer for next capeshit comes up
>dad leans over to me
>"we gonna go see that one?"

>at theater
>someone on screen ingests or references drugs
>scream "I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING!"
>fellow tokers in the crowd knowingly smile

>at theater
>Fifty shades of grey sequel trailer comes on
>Start booing
>People laugh
Feelsgoodman

>at theater
>trailer for some demon/monster movie plays
>audience screams at scary bits

>At Theater watching The Last Jedi
>Infinity War trailer plays
>First time seeing it on the big screen
>It was better than the movie

>a character on screen says something racist
>yell "ummm, sweetie... 1800s called, they want their racism back"
>whole theatre respectfully nods in unison

>at theater
>whisper during previews
>watch movie and say nothing throughout
>leave

absolutely devilish

>at theater
>watching Blimp: The Hindenburg Story
>just as it catches fire this guy yells out "that gotta hurt"
>mfw

i've been seeing movies by myself more and more lately. pretty sad overall but at least i don't have to make comments/listen to people make comments after trailers

most autistic post ITT

>Faggot!
>Faggot!
>Faggot!

this happened to me on a plane once

Some 40-50 something couple thought they would game the system by buying an aisle & window seat and hope nobody sat in the middle seat. I sat in the middle seat. Neither would switch with me. They just carried on talking the entire flight with disgust and distain for me for ruining their flight because they wanted the middle seat empty

>at theater
>some cringy romcom trailer starts playing
>yell out "Ugggh Where is the theater shooter already?"
>everyone in audience laughs and jokingly waves their phones hoping the shooter uses the light as a target

>at theater
>seating scrambled
>wind up with a little girl on either side of me

>at theater
>they're out of crab legs

That's not how I remember it

>at theater
>sexy tween on screen
>"i'd fuck the shit out of that little whore"
>forcibly removed from theater

I thinking the same thing

What kind of theater do you go to that sells crab legs

I had something like that happen to me. I had the middle seat and the lady at the window seat asked if I wanted to switch with her. I told her that it was alright and that I was fine with the middle seat. It wasnt until 5 minutes later that I realized that the lady and the guy at the aisle seat were a couple and they wanted to sit next to each other. I had to sit in the middle of them for the next 2 and a half hours and pretend like I didnt realize they were together.

did you sue?

>at theater
>silence before the previews
>some teenager yells "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
>entire fucking audience *clap clap*
>followed by roars of laughter
>mfw only person who didn't clap

Lol I do this all the time

It's definitely a high end theater, it's near the casino and a third party theater. There is a strict no singles policy so I don't go much but the one time I was there and I was told they were out of crab legs, I wanted to shoot up the place.

no, should I?

>at theater
>forget to clap at the end of the national anthem
>escorted to the theater magistrate
>sentenced 100 of shower cleanup services
>designated shooter privileges revoked for a year

>his theater doesn't sell crab legs
lel

Very strange and draconian punishment, the precedent is just a couple hours in the popcorn mines

>at theater
>mfw I realize I was in the wrong room
>not leaving because I didn't want people around to know I'm reatarded
>watch the whole thing instead

>before movie starts
>that old spice commercial comes on
>look at your boyfriend, now look at me, now look back at your boyfriend...
>at the end of the commercial some dude sitting with his 10/10 girlfriend yells out 'at least I'm not a nigger!'
>the entire room loses it, everyone laughs hysterically
>hear screamlaughter from the projector room
>guy working the projector slides his hand in front of image and gives a thumbs up
>there is now a 50 ft thumbs up on the screen
>crowd starts cheering and gives a standing ovation
>people go up to the guy and pat his shoulder and shake his hand
>everyone begins to shake each others hands and hug
>this goes on for like 5 minutes
>when the room quiets down, a black family hiding in the front row gets up and walks out the theatre
>the whole room loses it again

>character gets wounded or killed in a brutal way
>shout "ooh, that's gotta hurt!"
>everyone lifts me onto their shoulders and carries me through the village square
>ivory statues are created in my image
>future generations build a religion based on them after the apocalypse

and Americans wonder why the world laughs at them for applauding in theatres.

Nice work, americlaps

I was already on probation breaking the no singles policy and the prostitute I hired fled when the security came

>watching movie
>its absolute dogshit
>attempt to walk out
>can't open plane's Exit doors
>go back to seat and pick another movie

Lost

You did the right thing, user.

>in theatre
>trailer for the new Rock movie
>shout "#LITTY"
>everybody buys me a beer

Hahaha

>at theater
>movie begins
>everyone starts clapping
>clapping continues throughout entire movie
>movie ends
>entire audience enraged because they couldn't hear shit
>everyone storms manager's office for refunds

oldie but a goodie

>just another day in clapistan

This perfectly describes every Sup Forums thread

>Not changing seats
What is wrong with you fucks?

the original post was a joke tbH

nigga have you been on a crowded plane before

there isn't just another seat to switch to

>in theater
>movie is playing
>topless scene
>A sole cry rings out
>Sound of liquid hitting the floor

>at the theater
>be having my ceremonial pre-movie rub
>theater attendant comes up to me
>uh excuse me sir, this is a couples only theater
>I pull out my cum-soaked hand and say "not to worry sir, I've got mine right here"
>entire theater erupts in laughter as everyone gives me a juicy high five
>mfw I got to see a movie without having to ask my mom to be my date

>A sole cry rings out
a fish was wanking?

Wish I had a dad to watch capeshit with, or anything fun really.

>at fancy prescreening
>have to give phones to security
>sit in dark room before screening starts for unmeasurable amount of time, no one has their phones to check
>doors are locked
>kino never starts, no one ever comes for us, no way to contact outside world
>days pass as hunger strikes
>people start forming factions and alliances and voting on who to kill
>narrowly avoid own death by using mob mentality to put attention on 12 year old boy who stole popcorn
>remember the first taste of human flesh vividly
>after 5 days doors suddenly open
>we stumble outside rubbing our eyes to discover the entire world has been massacred, we're the only ones left
>I shout "was the movie THAT bad?!"
>entire remaining population bursts into laughter, slapping their malnourished knees
>one of the elderly literally dies from laughing
>get voted leader of the new post apocalyptic world for my joke

...

>Trannies can look like wom-

This is me. What are you going to do about it, faggot?

I wish that my dad wanted to go see movies, or anyone in my family for that matter. The only for sure is my sister's family going to see whatever Nu-Wars is out on Christmas day, and whatever early Summer Marvel movie releases, because it always coincides with my nephew's birthday. Beyond that, nothing.

Lol
Wrong thread retarded 56%

>At theater
>watch movie
>dont say or do anything awkward or disturbing to other patrons
>leave

what's wrong with me?

based

Whiter than you Ackbar

I bet you don't even own a Falcon you fucking pleb

>at the local kinodome
>watch an entire movie
>get up and leave when the credits start rolling
>forget to clap
>secret police catch me on the way out
>six weeks forced labor in the falcon latrine

Lel my bad

...

>Trailer for a movie that I'm looking forward to comes on
>In the silence afterward, before the next trailer starts, I hear a comment or two about how it looks stupid

>rowdy teenagers start throwing their crab leg shells at you from the back row

Same, always thought that when I had kids I would be that father that would always love to take them to the movies, or just do anything fun anytime, then I became a wizard.

>at packed theater
>watching movie
>clap randomly during middle of movie
>leave as soon as credits start to avoid the rush
>usher notices and is about to write me a ticket
>"but I pre-clapped"
>confused, he lets me go

>bad movie trailer plays
>falcon flies over and mockingly screeches into my ear about it
>sentanced to 5 weeks of falcon cage clean up dut

Hi biff

>#RAUNCHY teenagers start pissing on you and yelling #LITTY

Oh, user!

>AT THEATER
>PROMETHEUS STARTS
>FALLS ASLEEP
>WAKES UP TO SOUND OF EVERYONE LEAVING BEFORE IT ENDS

>at theater with group of "friends"
>trailer for dumb comedy
>they laugh at every stupid fart/sex joke

>at local cinema yesterday
>see my "1 free singles shower" coupon in wallet
>it expired the last day of December
>had to shower with a couple
>both guys started making out

The theatre policies are so easily aboudable these days. I once showed a month old penis inspection receipt, and told the usher that penis inspections were no longer required every 2 weeks. Moron desu

>my theatre lost its tv license
>went from a designated shooter to stabbed to bicycle tyre thrower
>falcons now outlawed due to being haram

>reserve single seat in the middle of a row
>turns out I cut through a string of teenage girls who decided to seat in the same row
>don't change seats cause then they'll think I'm being a pussy
>they spend the entire movie flicking popcorn at me and giggling
>pretend I don't notice and look straight at the screen the whole time
>stand up to leave when credits start
>pile of popcorn on my lap spills onto a Chad in front of me
>the girls laugh
>the Chad blocks the end of the row when I try to exit
>have to walk to the other side to get out
>girl seating at the last seat trips me
>they all laugh
>look back from the ground
>all of them are pointing their cameras at me

>at theatre
>kid starts crying

My dad is more of a modern movie fan than I am and he's in his mid 60s. It makes me realize how apathetic I've grown.

So uh how'd that turn out?

I'm quietly jealous of one of my friends, who basically makes a day out of every major movie release. His family, his brother's family, and his parents all meet up for dinner and stuff, go see a movie, and then maybe go hang out at one of their houses.

Hearing him describe that makes me realize how starved I am for that sort of interaction with my own family, and how much I wished that I had a normal life growing up.

>go to Lincoln with ex
>trailer for Les Mis comes on
>see Russel Crowe on a boat
>unable to contain myself
>"Makin' Movies, Makin' Songs, an' Foightan' 'Round tha World"
>ex is giggling, old folks are glaring
>movie was ok, kind of boring, Mary Todd is a bitch.

>Lincoln
>ok
No, you mean terrible.

>"Makin' Movies, Makin' Songs, an' Foightan' 'Round tha World"
that wasn't even funny when it aired first on South Park

>at theater to go watch Guardians 2
>Stah Wahs trailer plays
>yell out “they’re still making Star Wars movies?” in the silence between the end of the Stah Wahs trailer and the beginning of the next trailer
>some fat nerd tells me to shut up

it was the couples fault for not communicating that they were a couple

Is that a tranny? Because she looks pretty hot and that stomach is very lickable.

>Les Mis
Fuck I hate your kind.

>Local theater has stupid Coke ads before every show
>It's a cartoon character drinking from a giant soda cup
>Some guy at the very back lets out a massive burp that is clearly audible over the entire theater
>Everyone, including me and my buddies, laugh for a solid minute into the movie (Fury Road)
>While laughing, cute girl next to me makes eye contact and smiles at me
>Ignore it and pretend that it never happened

Good times

a smarter man than you would have already lawyered up

Lës Mísèræbliéß
even French people call it les mis

...

beautiful

Fkn lost. It's faggots like u that kreep me here

>Black Mirror season 5

>visiting NYC
>watching The Post in theater
>person beside me doesn't move entire movie
>lights come on
>it's a dummy.png
>plaque on seat: *This seat is reserved in memory of those who suffered in the Holocaust"
WTF

Lost, 5 stars m8
I think we would be friends irl

>finally get a falcon
>his recovery is trash, he has no out of shield options, and gets comboed hard by all top tiers