/trek/ thread

Weird 90s suits edition

>tfw STD makes you go back and rewatch Enterprise, and marvel at the sheer amount of effort they put in to respect canon

>computer, create a thousand dr crushers
>computer, create dr crushers ideal lovers
>computer, commence copulation
>computer, remap all faces to ensign wesley crusher
>save as CRUSHER-DREAM-99
>run when the next person enters the holodeck
>computer: disable safety controls

what the fuck were the writers thinking

would you watch it? i would

They were thinking skeletons are spoopy

>watching through TNG on Amazon Prime with my wife
>the inevitable occurs
We laughed for a minute straight. You know, I love all you folks. Life just wouldn't be the same without you. Have a great New Years, Sup Forums, you magnificent bastards!


>p.s. Good God stop banning my IP range, fuckers! I can't help it I'm on AT&T!

>it's a Riker eating episode

THICC BOY

die phone poster

What was Rikers fattest episode? Not counting ENT finale

I actually think PStew looks really good here.
No need for that.

I live in a very rural area and there are no physical high-speed options. I'd gladly pay $100 / month for cable... I couldn't hold out hope of a dream for fibre. Tethering my phone is the best I can do, else it's dial-up.

...

all phone posters should die

Damage report

The best kind of episode. Why did he eat in such a weirdly erotic manner?

Convince your town to pay for a fiber line

>It's a Sisko gets revenge for his wife episode

He must have a food fetish

Shields at 85%

I banged my knee on the console...smarts. Jeez.

Captain, were being hailed.

alcohol levels are at 10% WE CAN'T KEEP ON LIKE THIS CAPTAIN

I saw Commander Riker at a 10-foward yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for holo-recording or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and went back to my raktajino, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to turn in my dishes to Guinan, I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen KFC family meals in his hands.
Guinan was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Commander, you can't take those to your quarters.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the bar.
When she told him to sit at one of the tables to enjoy his meal and he stopped her and told her he would eat at the counter “to prevent any hull breaches in the lower decks, if you know what I mean” and then turned around and winked at me. I didn't. After he ate each bucket and threw them on the floor, Guinan attempted to tell him he had to dispose of them, but he kept interrupting her by patting his belly really loudly.

what kind of asshole doesn't wink back at riker? fuck you and your shit pasta. fix it

Why are the Romulans such dicks?

I saw Commander Riker at a 10-foward yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for holo-recording or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and went back to my raktajino, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to turn in my dishes to Guinan, I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen KFC family meals in his hands.
Guinan was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Commander, you can't take those to your quarters.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the bar.
When she told him to sit at one of the tables to enjoy his meal and he stopped her and told her he would eat at the counter “to prevent any hull breaches in the lower decks, if you know what I mean” and then turned around and winked at me. That one wink sent my loins into a tizzy. In that moment I felt fear,happiness,curiosity and above all, a need to rub that belly. I could feel my hands shaking from the need to caress and feel the folds in between my fingers. The thought of feeling that belly rest on my back as he penetrated my over and over, caused my asshole to quiver and me to force my eyes close from the sheer sensual overshock. I could only sputter "y-you t-too". After he ate each bucket and threw them on the floor, Guinan attempted to tell him he had to dispose of them, but he kept interrupting her by patting his belly really loudly.

>you will never cook him a big meal at the end of the day that you hand feed to him
>you will never rub his belly
>you will never cuddle him to sleep, his soft and thicc body wrapped around you

>besides, you look good in a dress
what did he mean by this?

In terms of him acting like a fatass, probably In terms of how fat he looks, probably Second Chances because Will doesn't suck in his gut for the whole episode in order to distinguish him from the starved-for-8-years Thomas Riker. He was pretty big during season 7 too.

I just watched that ep on BBC America

I feel like most nerds own suits that look like these today.. its very fedora.

...

>that part where he slapped his ass
What were the writers thinking?

I don't get it

much better

lol

Are there Risan children or are they spawned as adults? I guess the degeneracy issue would be different if there were kids running around desu. Typical of Star Trek not asking the hard questions.

Coworkers yelling "Come to Quark's, Quark's is fun, come right now, don't walk, run!"
>"We have replicators in the replimat!"
>walk upstairs and go to Vic's instead
>"Come to Quark's, Quark's is fun, come right now, don't walk, run!"

For sure, Garak episodes are the best.

Which is weird considering he was just some plain old carpenter

>Simple tailor Elim Garak was asked what it felt like to kill another person
>"I wouldn't know, I've only killed enemies of the state".

Kira should be "during the occupation we didn't have McDonalds".

>Mr Garak proports to be plain and simple
>Is actually a very talented tailor
Is he a liar?

>ten minutes into Star Trek and chill and Jonathan Frakes give you this look
wat do?

We don't know how well the average cardie tailor is.

But Garak is pretty talented, considering he used to be a gardener during the occupation of Bajor.

Sloppy kisses

Why did I laugh so hard at this?

imagine how much cake he could fit in there

What reason do we have to believe that Garak is a good tailor? He mostly seems to like ominous tailoring puns, like his monologue about how the Cardie "students" are fashionable, but it's a shame to be stuck with last year's look.

Look at how other spoonheads dress, then look at Garak’s clientele

2 C A K E S
C
A
K
E
S

Divert all power from auxiliary relay systems to the maneuvering thrusters

How many lights are there?

The holodeck is draining power from all systems and refusing commands.
Warp core containment field breech is imminent.

>computer, create a thousand Ferengi genitalia
>computer, increase size
>computer, darken skin
>replace all enemies in commander worf’s exercise programs with enlarged genitalia
>disable safety interlocks

how was this allowed

>tfw 604 images in your Riker folder

Why didnt he get laid

...

All fucking phone posters must hang

>Commander Riker, tell me about your sexual organs.

What did Keiko mean by this?

I thought it was going to be Odo from the thumbnail

riker made a joke which was sort of funny. If he delivered the same line in std micheal would start crying about how awful trump is

What whould someone call Patrick's type of suit?
I just call it a Steve Martin suit.

Can geordy see s hapes?

Well there's those four you got shining bright in my face and then the one in the hallway behind you to the right.

Wtf is the source?

Celebrity poker.

>ywn try Data's special cat food recipe

The ship seems mostly fine but, sir, this is the first time the holodeck power has been completely down. I... I think in the back of our heads we all knew it would be ugly but, sir, I don't think anyone could have imagined it would be this bad. We're going to need to replicate some sandblasters and a few thousand gallons of bleach. Even then I'll never use this thing again. Tell Counselor Troi I'm cured. Barclay out.

Why do you people like this show?

Did you just assume my species?

I dare you to start watching TNG and not get into after a few episodes.

>in 3 seasons of DS9 Quark got both a vulcan and a klingon hot under the collar for him
How the fuck does he do it?

...

it's hopeful and optimistic where everyone can get along without having to be dishonest about being themselves to get along. It has great characters and can tackle some big ideas with grace. It treats the human element as the thing that binds us all together instead of the inherit downfall of civilization.

There isn't much in modern society that make me feel like everything will be okay so trek became my go-to thing to cheer me up.

You skipped season 1 & 2 by any chance?

Was sisco religious with the prophets or arheist??

...

Do ya think if they had the Cardies in STD (don't ask if it makes sense or not, just go with it), would they still be /ourguys/ or would the show find a way to ruin them?

>youknowwhy.jpg

I read somewhere in youtube comments that one of J.J. Abrams movies mentioned Cardassians. Where was it?

5 lightyears from the planet Retcon in the Soft Reboot system

10/10 post, would agree with again.

>YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!
>Honey? I'm HOOOME!
>Maybe there is something wrong with YOU!

Data using contractions AND having emotions?
Does In Theory prove that Data was a person all along even without the chip?

>I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen KFC family meals in his hands.
Got a good BELLY laugh at this one ;D

Grossly obscene, negating the feel good laughter of your previous pasta.

>Do ya think if they had the Cardies in STD (don't ask if it makes sense or not, just go with it), would they still be /ourguys/ or would the show find a way to ruin them?

It's not canon so nothing can be ruined by it. At this point it's just a bunch of Jews getting mad at the people they're trying to sell their propaganda to. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Just a bunch of...

all the characters have some form autism like I do.Except riker.

Where is Ezri? And Weyoun?

Are you snowed in as well?
I'm never in /trek/ this early.

>orders a single black coffee and leaves

Kek,also dukat would buy a bigmac menu for ziyal.

So guys why did sloane crash o'brien's plane?
Was it revenge for him and bashir stopping the founder genocide?

there's just some rain around here, It's almost 15:00.

>almost 15 hundred

So I was right, you are a spanish Jew. Post more OC pls!

why does people keep insisting I'm jewish?

Do they eat meat in the 24th century? They're so afraid to hurt any sentient being's feelings I bet meat has been outlawed

Always liked that tunic.

>Soup_Kitchen_Little_Heeb.jpg_LARGE

They replicate inorganic matter that that's textured and looks and tastes like meat but isn't actually real meat. Or something like that.

They replicate it, but there are still places where you can eat real meat. Supposedly, Grandpa Sisko's restaurant serves typical New Orleans Creole dishes, which are made with real meat.
wot

There's a picture of you on the ground somewhere, up against a wall and it looks like you're holding soup in your hand.
Like it was given to you to keep you warm because you had no place to go?

>textured and looks and tastes like meat but isn't actually real meat.
>tofu burgers aka soy boygers

That explains wesley...

soulles minion of unorthodoxy
may he actually fall into an uncovered manhole