SUIT UP, user! THE KINOPLEX IS UNDER ATTACK BY THE CINEMA DOWN THE LANE!

SUIT UP, user! THE KINOPLEX IS UNDER ATTACK BY THE CINEMA DOWN THE LANE!

SUIT UP QUICK, THEY ALREADY CAPTURED OUR THEATER LAKE

FUCK SHIT I'M NOT READY AAA NO I JUST WANTED TO WATCH JUMANJI

PROTECT THE CRABS

lol what the fuck are you guys talking about, the parking lot is completely empthy

NO user! WE’RE OUTNUMBERED BY THE FLICKGOERS. ARM THE CRABS AND THE FALCONS.

Are you a spy?

EVACUATE THE PREMISES, BLACK MEN AND WHITE WOMEN FIRST

ROBERT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING? THIS IS SERIOUS

Oh FUCK! THEY'VE WEAPONIZED THEIR CRABS!

What are you retarded?

Can I get my popcorn or not?

...

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MY FALCON????

TAKE SHELTER IN THE MINES, FIND THE VIRGIN TUNNELS!

Oh SHIT CONTACT CONTACT THEY JUST SHOOT ROBERT THEY JUST SHO-

...

Say, wouldn't these threads be much easier to make is somebody just bought the highest quality version of the image and post it?

WE NEED HELP IN THE MINES
THERE HAS BEEN A CAVE IN AND THE VIRGIN MINERS ARE TRAPPED
PLEASE BRING CEMENT SO THEY DON'T LEAVE THE MINES

>It Ain't Me starts playing

It would be hilarious if some user actually bought the Robert image

WHAT IF IT WAS THE SAME MACHINE BUT YOU WERE THE CRAB

Great, I guess this means my butter rations are getting reduced again.

>SIR?? SIR!! SHIT SHIT WE JUST LOST CONTACT WITH KINO-TEAM ZERO

Engage the kinoplex defensive scissors!

BUTTER SPILL IN SHAFT 7

No, you won't buy the Kinoplex film franchise, I won't let you!

It's over gringo, give me the keys to the popcorn mines and I'll let you live

Who are you?

Where is Robert? He isn't answering his phone.

these threads are so fricking reddit

i already called in the sole survivor from the kinoplains, he's a level 3 kino shooter victim so he'll get the job done

Someone please post the kinoplex audio.

OI WOT IF TECHNOLOGY KILLED CRABS

Robert is...gone... The Virgin Uprising...at the worst possible time! We're surrounded now!

If i made a kikestarter of fundme or whatever would you guys be interested in buying the full image.

I used to crowd source payments for photosets on celeb forums cause we wanted high quality pics from events etc without watermarks

SCISSOR TEAM REPORTING SIR

WE'LL CLEAR A PATH FOR YOU KINO TEAM SEVEN! THEY'VE HACKED THE PENIS INSPECTION MACHINES SO BE SURE TO WEAR YOUR CUPS

We got a redditor, someone stop him!

It's too late user. The kinoplex is under new management now, courtesy of CIA. Now take this big popcorn and enjoy the flick or it'll be a bad day for you in the popcorn mines.

Who the FUCK are you?

what the fuck is a theater lake

Yes

WE ARE OUT OF CUPS, REPEAT... WE ARE OUT OF CUPS, FALL BACK NOW!!
THEIR INSPECTION TECH IS TOO ADVANCED!

Not so fast CIA
WANANANA

!!!!
He's fast!

SHIT, TANGO, THEY GOT BRYAN, I REPEAT THE CIRCUNSISION RAPTOR GOT HIM, ASKING FOR AIR SUPPORT, BLOW US UP

Y-YAMERO

No, it can't be...the war is lost!

CINEMA INFILTRATION TEAM PLUTO HERE
CENTRAL COMMAND PLEASE RESPOND
WE NEED BACKUP
I REPEAT WE NEED BACKUP RIGHT NOW
WE ARE ENGAGED TO A SINGLE KINOPLEX EMPLOYEE
HE'S ALREADY KILLED TWO SQUADS
I REPEAT WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS IN TH-

Look at these virgins, not knowing about Roberto

Positivity and optimism are survival tactics to keep both your own morale and the team's morale up. At least it is in wilderness survival.

YOU WATCH MOVIE TOO SROW GAIJIN! HIT FAST FORWARD! THREE HUNNA DORRA! PRUS TIP!

S-sir, do I call it? those are our men down there...

>And your OTHER keys

answer me stupid cunts

this board needs to be nuked

NOBODY FUCKING MOVE

it's over lads he's got a fingergun :(

Don't give up, user, you're playing right into CIA's hand with this defetist nonsense!
There's still hope, the Big Guy is still out there...

SEND EVERYONE TO HELL CHARLIE, I REPEAT LAUNCH ALL YOU'VE GOT, OUR BULLETS CAN'T PENETRATE RAPTOR'S FORESKIN

OH SHIT HE'S GOT A GUN

>his kinoplex doesn't have a lake

Where tf do you get your crabs? Have you ever even watched a movie from your kino kayak?

UNLEASH THE MANLETS FROM THE PITS!

W-what? Can't you see I'm busy right now?

WHERE THE FUCK I S THE PENIS INSPECTION COMMISSAR

THEY FOUND HIM SIR, HE'S DEAD! THE WHOLE ISNPECTION BOARD IS DEAD!!

ROBERT IS HIT, I REPEAT ROBERT IS HIT!!!!

May God(™) have mercy on us all... CALL IN THE NUKES

NOOOOOOO

THE EAGLES ARE COMING

>jesus christ! we need to get to... the BUTTER BUNKER

SHIT I THOUGHT /K/ TRAINING WOULD BE ENOUGH, THIS IS NOT LIKE THE SIMULATIONS, EVERYONE RETRIEVE, FIND COVER, WE'LL BEGIN THE EVACUATION IN THE SHOWER ROOMS SEWER AT 1600 HOURS

I fucking love these threads
WOULD SOMEONE TEND TO ROBERT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! IF WE LOSE HIM WE LOSE THE WAR!

WE WERE JUST KIDS... WE DIDN'T KNOW

HOLD THE LINE

WHATS ROBERTS STATUS

There's a secret escape route in the manlet pit! GO!
THIS IS FOR ROBERT YOU SONS OF BITCHES

NEXT DUBS DECIDES IF WE COMMIT SUDOKU OR WE FIGHT UNTIL OUR BONES CAN'T HANDLE THE GUNS.

N-NANI?!

He's dead.
But there must always be a Robert.

God fucking dammit you guys

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BLESSED
HE'S O- OH SHIT #€*€@€*€€@,€_@#*
*Call ends*

I'm afraid its true.

WHAT'S THE STATUS OF THE SHEDS?

Guys, it's just a simulation

SCISSOR TEAM IS DOWN! REPEAT, SCISSOR TEAM IS DOWN
OHHHHH NONONONO
AAAAAAAAHHHHH

He's not with us anymore either user, we must do what he would have done in this kind of situation.

Understood.
The Big Guy is in command now.

Just ring me up for my goddamn popcorns you filthy negro

Our future is doomed

WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS SIR

There's still Eva-01. Status on it's pilot?

You do NOT talk to Robert like that!

Apologize RIGHT now!!

Damn them all, they're growing too powerful

>He's dead.

GODDAMNIT! I TOLD THEM NOT TO RUN!

e-engage the contingency plan...
release the designating shooting squad

Never thought full out war with the local cinema would be a part of the kinoplex lore. Huh.

I mean HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FALCON

FUUUUUUCK, SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF THIS KEK SHED!! I HAVE TO SEE IF MY WIFE AND DARTRAVIUS ARE OKAY!!

Crash this Kinoplex

you crazy son of a bitch

ATTEEEEEEEENSHUN Y'ALL ELVISES

GROOOOOOOMING STANDARD

...

MOTHER FUCKER!!!