What would you do with his powers?

What would you do with his powers?

Jedi Mind Trick for shits and giggles.

Fuck my cousin

everyone

I'd want to see what would happen if I told people to look at the back of their own heads without the use of cameras and mirrors.

Become a lawyer that specializes in defending civil liberties and rights issues, especially against the government and big corporations

Obviously, I'd have to hope my judgement was right

Become Black Bolt in every other aspect of life to avoid accidentally influencing people

Not much. It's very hard to do good things with those powers. If someone is annoying me I'd tell them to leave me alone for a little while. If someone is bothering someone else I would tell them to leave. But other than that I'd like to think I wouldn't abuse the powers. It would be very easy to just let them tempt you though.

Found Matt

Get free shit, what else?

GET UP ON MY FEET AND STOP MAKING TIRED EXCUSES

This guy has some good ideas for using the powers heroically.

You'd probably have to specify cremation for your death, otherwise, if the virus is found in your system, everyone you ever helped and their estates are getting fucked.

Pretend to be homeless and ask people for their money

Return of The Fappening: Fap Harder. Starring Taylor Swift, Emma Stone, Selena Gomez, Kendall Jenner. And a special 5 hour bondage video starring Emma Watson.

Work my way into the White House as a staffer, tell the presidents that they want to do good shit to help people, fuck their PACs and corporate friends, etc.

People might start to get suspicious when I'm on for every president's administration, liberal or conservative.

Ideal me: Use it to live comfortably and try to achieve my dreams. Feel hollow since I eventually doubt the validity of anything I achieved.
probable me: Try to live like ideal me. Either fuck it up because I didn't think it through thoroughly. If I don't fuck that up a moment of impulse I do something I regret and either an hero or try to move on continuing the cycle until I either kill myself or am a sociopathic monster who someone figures out how to deal with.

You'd have to be more specific

Bush and the Patriot Act, Obama and his drones, Trump and his lack of stable healthcare, all probably thought they were doing good

>go to a very crowded place
>shout "fuck the police, fuck the bankers, fuck the government"
>enjoy the ensuing chaos from the sidelines

Probably this.

My Sup Forums related thread is deleted
DO you know why ?

Hand Chris Pratt a raccoon during a live interview and tell him to fuck it

Kill feminism, making all important representatives of it accept to do a facial abuse porn

And if you don't love me now

Rape.

Acquire wealth. I may be able to force people into doing whatever I say, but that doesn't mean I like going out in public, so in the end I'd just stay home, order shit off the internet, and live the ideal NEET existence.

>Gloria steinem ends up getting fucked by a horse

get a radio or tv show where I interview famous celebrities, people in various forms of political groups and movements, and corporate big wigs and ask them what it is they want and why they do what they do. force total honesty from them and present it to the public.

Can I have a much weaker but much more interesting influencing powers instead?
The kind that would make people agree with any thing you say instead of it being an order they can't resist?
For instance it's much funnier to make a priest believe that whipping a dick out in public and blaspheming/praising Satan is a good idea, than ordering them to do that.

just phrase things the right way and thats exactly what his powers would be.

Nah, it's still making people do things against their will.
I want to be like personification of alcohol. Make people do stupid things, then have them justify it as "it seemed like a good idea at the time".

Make people with big tits have sex with me and forget about it later

Is there a way to use his powers to rape people, but make them not be upset by it?

Well you could do

you could order them to be open to the power of suggestion. then you never have to order them to do anything else. just suggest stuff to them.

>Sup Forums's answer to every question, "How can I fit rape into this"

Well to be fair it's purple man. Rape was basically a forgone conclusion

...

Well I don't think he can make someone forget something, he can just order them to do something they could normally physically do and people can't forget on command.

Getting poon and drain people's bank accounts.

Destroy Islam
Open an addiction clinic
Force the heads of state of every European nation into a massive fistfight and declare the winner to be the new Holy Roman Emperor/Empress

Probably not in that order

Well first things first, I'm going to use the phonebook to go to someone's house, force them to make a snuff movie with their family, kill them all and order the person left alive to cut out their tongue and break their fingers, forget me but know they're innocent.

>Not forcing masses of mudslimes into the sea and force them to drown to death and their bodies are ate by various sea life, sprinkling their bones across the ocean

no no you misunderstood
I have sex with them but I don't bother remembering about it

>Become a psychotherapist.
>Tell depressed people to have only happy thoughts and forget all the bad things
>Try to test if I could treat things like OCD by telling people to stop having intrusive thoughts and compulsions
I'd make millions by doing literally nothing a quack couldn't. I wish I could expand to the suicide hotlines and make money there, but I have to be up close so it wouldn't work out.

Why does it all sound so creepy when I reread this post?

I'd run gangs via proxy-control. Even if They were caught, I wouldn't be.
I'd move up in the world, try to find some Maffia or whatever, and just be the dude in charge, but also no in charge.

I'd convince everyone I met to attack and kill every person that isn't me. In few years I'd finally be able to get some peace and quiet.

Fuck bitches, get money.

This, but I'd also make rounds on college campuses and tell the teaching staff/administrators to denounce communistic ideals for the trash they are, abhor political violence via immediate expulsion of any instigators, and cease any and all policy that favors one race/sex/etc over another.
No idea if that'd work but it'd be worth a shot to save the soul of the nation.

I'd choose some international organization if I were you, like Sinaloa Cartel or Sun Yee On

Make you shove three pineapples up your butt

This, but I'd also make rounds on college campuses and tell the teaching staff/administrators to denounce right wing ideals for the trash they are, abhor political violence via immediate expulsion of any instigators, and cease any and all policy that continues to promote racial hegemony and sexual discrimination.
No idea if that'd work but it'd be worth a shot to save the soul of the nation.

Cuck

can he not? I'd imagine if he could force someone to do something like enjoy rape and murder he could force them to blank a memory

Get myself a harem of sexy villains and heroes.

because you're probably not actually curing them and it'd be be a worse Hell. also thinking only good thoughts could quickly lead to them neglecting anything bad in their lives which could bite them.in the ass.

my peter quill x rocket fanfictions will finally become real

Well they kinda already do that.

Jaywalk with impunity
Tear off mattress tags
Fill out forms in blue ink

See you gotta be specific.

Like when he told the chick to put a bullet in her mouth and she interpreted it as shooting herself but jessica just unloaded the gun and made taste the bullet.

Does it have to be immediate? Can I not just eat three pineapples and wait?

>Creating an orgy in the middle of a crowded City
>Letting the feds, bankers and government get laid easier than they already are

Well done

Probably just get someone to give me a job. Maybe use it to cut in line ahead of people. Nothing big.

Not in any way that counts.

How can you interpret "shove 3 pineapples up your butt" in any way other than having 3 pineapples going into your butt.

>Not in any way that counts.
Have you ever met a liberal arts professor who *didn't* spend an entire unit on Marxist theory regardless of the class? Cuz I haven't.

Anthropology - MARXISM
Lit theory - MARXISM
Film theory - MARXISM
Creative writing - MARXISM
American Civics - MARXISM
etc

Become an extremely successful politician.

Convince someone to hire me, I'm tired of being a NEET

This. Taking over anything from a country to even a company, person by person, would be such a hassle.

Isn't this how Marvel 1602 happens?

A good majority already espouse left-wing ideals and support the various liberal political movements that take place around the country. What more do you want? Throwing anybody southwest of Oregon to the gulag?

i'd steal shit and have sex but protective sex and bj's cuz i dont want no babies

also be sad at how lonely id get

They'd just skin the back of their heads and look at it.

They literally already do this, and it's what got trump the presidency.

rape... lot's of rape

I have. And even if many of them do, it's not like all the students suddenly get brainwashed. Especially nowadays.

>not shouting BEHAVE
deviant

>it's not like all the students suddenly get brainwashed
he says while campus antifa groups are running around swinging bike locks at college republicans.

>Kill feminism
And replace it with equalism. Where every individual's mind is linked to every other, resulting in a super organism that is above such concerns.

>Anthropology
>marxism

you lying savage. They literally go over origin of species and do their best to wed the ideas they're teaching to actual fucking evidence.

I've spent nearly 10 years at university over process of 3 degrees and nobody brings up marx.

State schools funding are tied to graduation rates, not propaganda consumption.

Literally who?

You blend those pineapples into a juice and do it enema style.

That's just sloppy. You could literally force them to take a poll for how radical they are and get the red flags to kill themselves. Thus surgically removing the violent idiots from the population. Hell, just have everyone poll and cull every so often. Naturally you'll need to leave a few on the off chance they're genius level.

Tell them all that they only keep tenure by providing research of actual merit. 90% of Women's studies can run sanitation and food services.

>Visit the real high crime black neighborhoods
>Have a megaphone to get their attention
>Gather as big of a crowd as I can
>Tell them to grab as many weapons as they can
>Tell them to start massaciring everyone else that lives in that area (except me)
>Quickly leave
>Watch the result on TV
>Repeat

No, because you can force yourself to watch mlp and even enjoy it but you can never blank it from your memory.

>Convince India to launch its nuclear arsenal at the highest population areas of China
>China will retaliate
>Cut the global human population in half

dislodged their eyes and try to hold them to the back of their heads

>implying their tastes are that broad.

>

You would not make it through your second incident before you were grabbed by a team of deaf CIA agents and stuffed into a cell.

>Do the same thing, but now backed by the CIA

Hmm good point. I didn't think about that but you're right it is never good to wipe out large swaths of dna completely but idea of removing the violent ones or sympathizers would take a lot of work.

On other hand, education and jobs would also remove the need to be a bunch of backwards monkeys.

Hell we could fix most of our foreign policy problems with a massive jobs program.

>Have two sets of jobs
>One to create, One to destroy
>the first group builds a massive public works project
>the second group tears it down
>infinite economy

It'll cut the population by 100% you dullard. Don't you know about nuclear fallout?

Just convince India to start using toilets. Better for everyone.

I mean the biggest terrorist hotbeds not created by saudi/iran proxy planetary war are all created because of poverty and lack of jobs.

How can they expect them not to come out messed up in areas that have 90 percent jobless-ness. Where entire populations survive on refugee food drops, controlled by corrupt dictators.

If our own problems with welfare has shown anything, you need to incentive people to work, not incentive them to remain impoverished.

If we actually put our money where our mouth is, we should be doing massive infastructure/jobs building in countries that are riddled with crime instead of helping to avoid the problems.

Problem with purpleman's abilities is you need to see the people to affect them.

>be purpleman
>meet with middle eastern dictators
>tell them to make their respective third world shitholes into tourist traps
>all the sandniggers are employed building new infrastructure or working to scam people with actual money
>too busy to Allahu Akbar
>world peace

>Get free food whenever where ever
>Have others pay my bills and tax
>Make people enjoy everything I make
>Get those kids who bullied me in highschool to kill themselves
Life would be great, senpai.

Yeah ok and after 20 hours they change their minds and are so pissed that someone mind controlled them that they do the opposite of what you wanted in the first place.

From the thumbnail I thought it was House

The most depressing thing about being Purple Man is imagine life of having his powers after 20 years. You've long since done everything you wanted to do, you've grown tired of everything and nothing is exciting to you anymore.

And if you try drugs to make life less dull then you've become an addict with the ability to make people give you as much drugs as you want and then you downward spiral