Guess i'll die

>guess i'll die

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Why didn’t they just hit the ring with something really hard? A hammer or an axe perhaps?

Why didn't the dwarf just break the ring?

realistically how many orcs would have gone down before Aragorn was overcome?

>Well, if I'm going to die anyway... may as well try this!

>I'll try running, that's a good trick!

>"The real war does not resemble the legendary war in its process or its conclusion. If it had inspired or directed the development of the legend, then certainly the Ring would have been seized and used against Sauron; he would not have been annihilated but enslaved, and Barad-dur would not have been destroyed but occupied."

Tolkien on accusations that lotr is an allegory for ww2. what did he mean by this?

How is he so perfect?

200?

He was saying that the Allies weren’t paragons of virtue. This is of course true of any side in a real world conflict, despite what propogandists might tell you

uhhh are you guys stupid???

visit hownew.ru to get it
some Sup Forums and many Sup Forums memes are stored there

100 at most.

OP, are you by chance a woman m'lady?

excellent bait....?

Why they didn't give the ring to the eagles and fly to mordor?

why didn't harry potter just stab the ring with the basilisk fang to destroy it?

>Fight and probably die, small chance of ending evil forever though
>Run and you will definitely die at a later time and evil will certainly win

Really joggins my noggins

It's a movie, it's a script.

Scene doesn't make sense without the mouth of Sauron telling them that Frodo died.

Legit answer? The Eagles are actually demigods, and their race is older than the elves. They didn't wouldn't have wanted anything to do with the ring for the same reason that Galadriel refused Frodo's offer. If I remember correct they were literally the first "race" to be born, but they were like the original dwarves; they didn't have free will until later.

are you an idiot

he's butt ugly without beard tho.

why they dont just kill sauroman

Because an eagle could become more vil that Sauron?

Technically you can't kill a Maiar, just their physical form.

Both Saruman and Sauron actually survive the events of Lord of the Rings, but are left as impotent spirits who cannot effect the living world in any way.

No are you? Basically everyone had given up hope because the ring was back in Sauron's hands, that's why he charged in like an idiot.

>On horseback
>Camera cuts
>All the horses disappear for no reason
>Still win an oscar

This is the power of patriarchy

Why was aragorn so mean to best girl?

That there sound like some religious bullsheit up that "you can kill me but I have an everlasting spirit" neck of the woods some such

This

Cus she makes a shit stew

gimli tried that during the council, did you even watch the movie?

>wasting food on a weeks journey
He should have been whipped

>fly you fools
gandalf literally tells them to use the eagles and they dont, wtf

it's a joke retard

Considering he would have quickly become swarmed on all sides, 5

Melian (Maia):
>Together with her husband, she rules Doriath, one of the basest kingdoms in the history of Arda.
>On her power alone, she raised the Girdle of Melian, a protective 'shield' that guarded her kingdom against the servants of Morgoth, the strongest Vala in existence. In a time when Morgoth reigned supreme and brought terror to Beleriand, Doriath stood strong and mighty, and completely unaffected (until Carcharoth at least)
>Foresaw the great destiny of Beren and the great deeds he would achieve

Gandalf (also Maia)
>smoked some weird tobacco with Bilbo
>was mostly unaware about the One Ring, only suspected what Bildo had found in Gollum's cave
>was completely oblivious about Saruman's betrayal, was imprisoned in Orthanc like a brainlet
>*dies by a single Balrog*

Gee, I guess not all Maia are born equal

>not all Maia are born equal
osse pulled an island the size of france across the ocean and fuck knows what eonwe is capable of

why didnt they give the ring to the valar to destroy?

why didnt they just toss the ring in the sea and let Ulmo have it??

for real, he even said 'my axe' why didnt he just use his fucking axe

why didn't they try and break the ring with some kind of heavy bladed object?

no one answered this before, makes me believe its a viable option.

How the fuck would you contact beings in another dimension

>yanks stole all the Nazi scientists
>make Atom Bomb
>BTFO'd the Japs
>took over Germany for 40 years and still have troops there to this day

He says in the preface to one of his book editions that the First World War, in which he was a veteran, was as much an influence as the second if not more so.

Pretty sure he can forage his own food since hes a raaynga

He probably doesnt even have to eat since he is a memeadain

Air mail was highly taxed under the Eagles' tax policy.

He does in the extended edition.

Cutting out a lot of the jokes from the theatrical edition was probably a good call.

The Valar were butthurt about Feanor's departure to hunt Morgoth, despite their advice to stay in Aman, so they secluded themselves and from whatever was happening in Middle Earth.
Manwe sent the Istari (Saruman, Gandalf etc) as a form of help, and that's it

it's a joke you fuck

Gandalf answers this in the book.

youtu.be/sUrJdsN_-B0

They stopped intervening because they sunk an entire continent to unfuck the situation in the First Age, not because of Feanor. Ulmo actually shows up multiple times near Gondolin.

Balrogs are corrupted Maia

this is 100% not bait, I can genuinely tell you are retarded. Tolkien was talking about WW1.

Gandalf and radagast are both low tier spirits iirc

The fact that gandalf was in the fight at all during his grey form was impressive desu. dude had some basic spells and some fire/smoke/light based tricks and wanted to march up the gates of hell

People have to understand the timeline on which Tolkien is writing these books, with some early drafts done before the second world war even begins.

But WW1 solves nothing. Nobody won. LOTR actually succeeds in their war.

I remember being online and reading a shitpost about how the final scene would have a tangible Sauron fighting Aragorn during the eruption of Mount Doom while Frodo and Gollum had a swordfight at the same time and then when I finally saw RotK I got pissed off because I thought Peter Hackson took artistic liberties with the film instead of staying true to the shitpost

those were the days

pretty sure Sauron was the exception because of the ring

Why didn't they just hide the ring for a few thousand more years until they developed fighter jet technology?

he was saying that they're not comparable, clearly you agree

Holy shit, every day more plotholes are uncovered. I don't really want to say it but.. what choice is there? Tolkien was, dare I say it, a hack.

Mid or I feed
*does both*

Why didn't they just hyperspace-ram the gate of gondor and throw the ring in the lava?

Realistically, zero or just 1.

Why didn't Rey just bypass the ring compressor?

if Sauroman could create Orcs from nothing then why didn't he simply make infinity Orcs to take over the world? Why did he settle on only having a few thousand? Or did his Orc creation machine have some sort of global cooldown?

I thought the ring was the reason why the technology didn't progress much. It gave Elves and shit their long lives, so they remained the dominant force. When the ring is destroyed, the Elves can no longer sustain long life, so they have to fuck off and make room for Man to dominate, which allows for technology to progress.

Maybe the elves had fighter jets? There isn't a single sentence in the entire trilogy that states they don't.

Maia are basically angels. Tolkien's works have a heavy religious aspect to them, yes. He was aiming to make a creation mythos basically.

They literally are not, but it's still nearly impossible to destroy the spirit of any maiar, even the weakest maiar like the istari.

Sauron tied up so much of his power in the ring that when it was destroyed he became functionally powerless, but his spirit did survive. He can never regain that power and is doomed to wander arda as a powerless disembodied spirit until the end of time.

Saruman's physical form was destroyed and he is cursed by the Valar to a similar fate as Sauron, but it's unknown if he could gain his power back over time since he didn't loose 2/3rd's of his spirit like Sauron.

nope. tolkien was talking about ww2 in the passage i referenced from "foreword to the second edition". he claims many parts of the tale were written before 1939 and weren't influenced by the war. and further explains how he doesnt like allegories in the first place.

Yes especially the scene where Merry and Pippen get stoned off Saruman's weed.

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Why didn't they just send people to Mount Doom to bring some hot lava back to riverdell and pour it over the ring
>durr but user what would they use to carry the lava
mithril chainmail you dumb fucks

Why didn’t the fellowship just nuke the ring from orbit?

i thought dwarves had beards?

>Sauron is becoming stronger without the ring
>Hurr durr you destroy the ring yiu destroy Sauron

Why didn't they just apply for a 30-day Mordor Visa, get in legally through the Black Gate, destroy the Ring, then have 29 free days to climb Ephel Duath, swim in the sea of Nurnen and visit the Barad Dur museum?

due to plot armor, 100

He's a Mary sue, so all of them

*heaves*
*sweats*
gahhhrghh
*leaves bloated corpse*

They would be corrupted within seconds, it's the same reason Gandalf doesn't want to touch it

he could have lived on elf island forever
he could have had it all
instead he died for a bunch of unwashed pleb mortals
what a dummy

There was a total and complete shutdown on little hobbitses until they could figure out what was going on

Endless elf wine and Lothlorien pussy has to get tiring after a while.

why didn't Sam, the largest Hobbit, not simply eat the other three?

Were the Uruk-hai swords practical at all? These designs always bugged me.

Why not? It's just a machete

Quite so.
The blade looks thick as fuck but if you are strong enough to wield it you can use it to your advantage.

but the edge at the tip is backwards.

What a based man. Based quads as well.

Machetes usually have rounded or flat tops, they aren't meant as stabbing weapons

Besides, if you really wanted, you could stab someone with the point on a backswing. But that's not the intended use

It isn't a stabbing weapon.
But I'll tell you what.
You smack someone in mail with the spike and that thing is going trough for sure.
Same goes for most lightly armoured targets.

That's a spike for pulling shields down and piercing armour. Uruk-Hai weapons are super practical, they even have fucking bombs alongside pikes and crossbows.

seems more or less functionally equivalent to some primitive swords, that are used like axe-swords as they are tip heavy, like the falcata or the falchion

most more sophisticated swords are balanced more towards the hilt as that allows them to move faster