Wonder Woman - Episode II: Attack of the Amazons

THIS IS IT, FOLKS
THE BIG ONE
THE WORST WONDER WOMAN STORY OF ALL TIME

Also, AMA anything about THE MOVIE!

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...how old is this kid supposed to be again? Fucking millennials

OH FUCK YOU, SAXET, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. THAT IS NOT FUNNY.

It's like fucking Mordor but with more estrogen

have a bump OP but I am not gonna stick around to read it since last amazon story time gave ME cancer

B E E S
E
E
S

Why do the amazons only have war ogres when they're the villains but never when they're attacked

Who would win in a fight, Abe Lincoln's statue or Supreme Leader Snoke?

Because fuck you, that's why

>that plot point referencing the Patriot Act
>US military besieging woman's shelters and imprisoning random chicks for being potential "Amazon sympathizers"
It's all comin' back to me. And it all fucking hurts.

arrows > guns

>Oh thank god, Static is here!

>Oh, it's just Black Lightning. Nevermind

DAMN IT I WANTED REBIRTH

But overall thoughts on the film Sexat?

They're not even bullshit techno arrows or anything, just regular ass arrows.

Much I like Perez's run, I will never understand what he was smoking that caused him to reduce Themyscira's tech level.

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I think my evil twin did Rebirth
ANYWAY
So, the movie:
I really fucking liked it. It's well paced, well structured, it's surprisingly well acted (and I say "surprisingly" because I didn't expect much from Gadot, but she surprised me). The good guys are all pretty charismatic and likeable (even the stereotype sidekicks), and, surprisingly enough, there is actually character growth for Diana in this movie, which surprised me because usually in superhero origin movies the protagonist stops growing the second he puts on his costume.
The bad guy's motivation makes sense but he doesn't appear much so he's not terribly memorable and the CGI's a bit spotty at times, but that's about all my major gripes with the movie. Some minor ones are overuse of slow mo and the Germans speaking English for some reason

>but they'll never take OUR FREEDOM!!

What the fuck

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How about Dr Poison? Everyone I hear is talking about Is is really even a spoiler at this point? Ares

I wonder if this was one of those events that the more tie-ins you read, the less sense it made.
Jodi Pichoult's entire run was quietly setting this thing up, with the distrust from the US against Amazons, and Circe resurrecting Hippolyta
Did anything remotely good come from this?

Spooky

JUST FUCKING NUKE THEMYSCIRA. AMAZONS AIN'T SHIT. THROW FUCKING CAPTAIN ATOM AT THEM.

Good Lord, this one piss me off.

It was a Countdown tie-in, so no.

Abe's all like "really, bitch?"

This entire thing would end immediately if Diana, or rather if the writer, remembered that the Lasso can break mind control spells.

Just, everything about this story is stupid and contrived. Nothing about Amazons Attack makes any fucking sense.

Dr. Poison was mostly just there, I did like the scene where her and Ludendorff gas their superiors so they can keep the war going and then cackle evily because they left them one (useless) gas mask that shit was kind of hilarious for some reason

Yes, a WAR is out of your league, sure

>the big gun
>the other big gun
Why are they talking like this? Are they literally stupid?

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Diana saying "mom" is weird.

>Wonder Woman event
>Batman is front and center

inb4 Deadly bee weapon

Bees...My god...

It's the title of the comic!

I know they're Amazons, but how is a shot like that even possible

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She's always had a formal manner of speech. It's Circe who speaks like a more modern chick.

Also, I gotta give Flashpoint one bit of credit, at least it gave us an invisible air fleet. Amazons Attack doesn't even give us cool shit to look at so we can ignore the "plot". And frankly, I always hated that the Amazons are Bronze Age nowadays.

Not sure what the point of that sequence even was

if Amazons have one ability, is to know where the enemy neck is at all times. Didn't Wonder Woman slice off Medusa's head while completely blind?

Took you long enough

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This is in a fucking comic book with Batman and Superman on the cover. How did this get past editorial?

Is the movie really only a 7/10? That's Marvel teir

Batman's nose looks weird

You should have saved this for the Weekend of Pain.

The only opinion that matters is your own user, don't let some website decide how good a film is for you

I personally thought it was way better than a 7/10 (I don't like assigning scores though)

What makes it even worse is that Diana herself is barely in the comic to begin with.

That's just so fucked, since Diana has only ever had two events centered around her mythos, War of the Gods, which was fine but suffered from being way too ambitious, and this piece of shit.

Interesting though that Circe is the big bad of both. She's always made more sense as Diana's arch than Cheetah.

i'm not seeing a movie that's got a 7/10 as an average.

Yes, this cliffhanger got resolved IN ANOTHER BOOK

>Shit my joke didn't work on the president. I'll have to save it for the league
>"H-hey Batman ya know MONITOR duty is rarely this exciting. Haha!"
>nailed it

Really? Not even a camrip? You must be awfully busy then

Like I said, I personally don't give a shit about scores because the idea that my opinions will perfectly line up with someone else's is absurd, no matter how many "credentials" they have

kek

>You must be awfully busy then
No, it's that I don't want to waste my time on something I'm going to forget in a month. I can't even remember the basic plot of GOTG v2 after I got dragged there by my boyfriend

Hopefully we get something soon now that the films doing well.
Though I imagine it will be something toyetic as Darkkseid War except now the JL is GREEK GODS WOW!

Also still waiting on Wonder Brother which'll probably be a big event

Hal knows where ALL the air bases are

I don't get why their helmets have those black screens

Well whatever I guess

>Oh no, I'm being derailed by another shitty event!

That's Red Hood by the way

Starfield!
I wonder if Kyle was still in his Ion suit at this time

Artemis, what the hell did you do to your hair

She died during the imperiex war or am I mixing up amazons?

Gimme your Wondy playlists
The official DC one isn't exactly what I imagine when I think Wondy
open.spotify.com/user/official_dc/playlist/36tH883130qnmbg4nB7zQFIs Artemis in the film at all? If so how is she? I haven't been keeping up much

No, he was back on his Lantern duds by now. This is around the time of the Challengers of the Beyond

Polly? Yeah, she died in Our Worlds at War.

I'm pretty sure everyone at DC immediately forgot about that. Probably even Johns forgot that.

I mean, it's such a nothing idea that really has no potential whatsoever. I'm way more interested in the relationship between Diana and Donna as it currently is. That's always something that's gone tragically unexplored.

Artemis is in the film, she's played by a huge black lady. She doesn't have any lines though.

I thought we were done with this distrust bullshit after Infinite Crisis

HERE IT COMES

>war lions
>not even kangaroos
why does this comic do everything wrong?

YES
ALL OF IT
THEY SET FIRE TO ALL OF KANSAS
WHICH IS NOTHING BUT CORNFIELDS BY THE WAY

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So the artist doesn't have to draw faces

Wow, Kansas must be awfully small

Hey-yo, are you watching the movie after all?

I'm impressed that Kara and Cassie actually have different faces, but my expectations for these things are at an all time low

It's sad that the only recent Wondy book to feature kangas was Earth One. Really? I gotta rely on Morrison for old school COMIC BOOKS goodness?

I'm kinda starting to hate Trial because it keeps forcing me to praise Grant Morrison. Goddammit.

My mother surprised me with a ticket last night, so I will be seeing it this evening.

These are like the TV screen panels in DKR, but shittier and boring

I like Woods' art, but is it me or does it keep getting significantly worse as the story goes?

WHAT
NO

Coolio, I'll be interested to hear your thoughts.

Who is it?
Agreed

>guy gets his head chopped off
Well that's gratitude for ya!

Peak Woods was his Tec run around the time Steph was Robin.

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Beaten by a fodder Amazon! How embarrassing!

I can't help but ponder if this story could ever have been good in the first place.

Like, what could you even do with this setup?

Just the physicality of the art feels so off. Nobody seems to be moving or expressing like a human being. Then again it is a cape comic.

>I don't kill
>Yeah, me neither
Uhh thanks?

Oh boy

Short hair doesn't bother me, but this is way too short for Artemis
You are reminding me that I haven't actually read a lot of Batman and Tec. I did a large read through of Batgirl (Cass and Steph), Catwoman, and Nightwing, but never actually got around to the main Batman stuff (Morrison stuff notwithstanding)

Well in Greek mythology Amazons are like a thing you can throw into a myth or a war when you want to spice it up. They've been involved in a lot of conquests, you could borrow liberally from there.

My fave is Herodotus' description of how the Amazons start tribes of women warriors in Scythia. It's a bit 'Odyssey of the Amazons' in its own way.

Maybe an Elseworlds?

THERE IT IS FOLKS
THE MONEY SHOT

>Texas Mom: Sweetie, I know you're a big Wonder Woman fan, sooo, I got us tickets for the movie!
>Texas user: Um... Thanks, Mom.
:3

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>they didn't have Barbara-Ann Minerva get fused with an insect god and turn into a sexy honeybee woman named BEETAH in this
fucking dead to me