What if me mum was a PlayStation 12?

What if me mum was a PlayStation 12?

AHAHAHA YOU STUPID FUCKING NITWIT KARL I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D FUCKING SAY THAT FUCK ME OH JESUS AHAAHAHAHA

WOT IF MUM WAS PLAYSTASHUN 12?

wot if brain anuva ed

>"A'right, so there was this truck"
>"A Truck?"
>"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."
>"WHICH desert."
>"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."
>"What?"
>"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."
>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"
>"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."
>"You mean he was with the CIA."
>"No, no, he just says CIA."
>"He’s the entire CIA?"
>"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"
>"‘What Doctor?"
>"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."
>"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"
>"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"
>"His given name."
>"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."
>"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."
>“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”
>“While on the plane?”

>“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”
>“What do you MEAN Karl?”
>“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”
>“Of the plane?”
>“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”
>“‘Shoots him you mean.”
>“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”
>“No, he didn’t.”
>“Yes, he did.”
>“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”
>“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”
>“Oh CMON!”
>“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”
>“Jesus Christ.”
>“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”
>*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”
>“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”
>“Right.”
>"So CIA is like, well you're a large fella, aren't ya? but here's the thing right, then Blaine says..."
>"Go on Karl"
>“For you.”
>“What.”
>“It would hurt a lot…for you.”
>“WHAT DO YOU MEAN! WHY DID HE TALK ABOUT HOW TALL HE WAS?!”
>“No no you've got to understand cos see its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”
>“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

Get me Clive Warren!

wot if we din'n 'ave computahs n' we just bummed about our garden with a nice cuppa

wot if we din'n fuss wit all da hospitals an we jus died wen we got tuckered

wot if we din'n fink about anythin beyond our garden wall an jus rejected anyfing new and diff'rent

kino

>iPhones, do we need 'em?

outstanding

Amazing

>What's a polar bear do? It's sat on a block of ice, floatin' about

me dad put one of them forrest gump types in a wheelie bin

this is literally the best banepost I have ever seen
it's amazing you managed to inject actual humour back into baneposting this late in the game
10/10

Well done. Very nice

Karl literally wrote the last episode of Black Mirror season 4 almost a decade before it came out.

He wrote the two consciousness in one brain as a potential movie script, and he had the idea for the medical equipment which would let a doctor feel the pain a patient was experiencing to quickly diagnose them.

It's like a joke.

What if I ad' my clone in a plastic cup but he was me?

KARL KARL YOU'RE AN IDIOT
PLAY A RECORD

My favorite stories are about his brother. Wonder what happened to the lad, probably dead after a miserable life.

Ladies, it's a pasta. I've just been tasked to post it the last time someone asked for it. A few months old tops. I just took the torch. I bet whoever wrote lt would appreciate you. Have a good afternoon lads and happy epic year.

>British “comedy”

>I'm just sayin', what do they do?
>Who, Karl?
>Those Sup Forums fellas.
>It's instant global communication Karl, they're discussing art, politics, sports, philosophy. You don't believe in the power of the internet?
>Yeah, and that's fine right, I'm on there as well, lookin' at science papers 'n' whatnot but what I'm sayin' is they aren't doin' any of those things.
>What do you mean?
>They're not talkin' about any of those things. Why do we need 'em?
>What the fuck are you talking about "why do we need them"?
>All I'm sayin' is right, whenever you go there, all you see is a bunch of blokes knockin' about, talkin' about breasts, Jews and black people. We don't need 'em.
>But Karl, you can't just say that some people aren't valuable to society, don't you believe in leisure and hobbies?
>I do, it's just that they're not addin' anythin'. When I'm doin' my hobbies, right, I'm doin' DIY, fixin' the house 'n' all that. They're just sittin' there talkin' about interracial sex.
>Stop. Talking. Shit.

"brilliant"

weird innit?

I was laughing all the way through the Love of Two Brains segment in that episode, just because it played out like Karl's story. Pretty sure it was supposed to be slightly funny too though.