Robert Jordan's THE WHEEL OF TIME is coming to television. Are you prepared?

Egwene. Moiraine. Morgase. Faile. Matrim Cauthon. Elayne. Siuan Sanche. Draghkar. Nynaeve. Slayer. Blind Guardian.

where have you been user, i was worried with no wheel of time thread for over a month
>they have caged shadowkiller
>we come
i have no hopes for it, but im still excited for dumai's wells

I ragequit when my sacchan thread was censored. Can't ever truly depart, though, haha! ha... ha...

*cuts to stock footage of Nynaeve tugging her brain*

braid that is, brain would be difficult, perhaps not for an Aes Sedai

>tugs braid
>calls you a woolheaded farmer
how about that scene where rand told all three grills he loved them, while nyneave and lan were in the room with them, and lan "studied the bowl of his pipe intensly" fucking lan knows whats up, and nyneave just sat there ripping her braid out

What do you think Lan got up to with Nynaeve in private? I'm thinking blumpkins

I'm excited for the ENORMOUS TITS everyone has.

well in one of the chapters after they got married, it said according to borderlander tradition, whoever had the power in public, had to be the servent in the bedroom, and since nyneave was aes sedai she was the big shot in public, so lan was getting poopy on his peepee every night i think

It was only a matter of time before some studio exec wandered into Barnes and Noble, then made a phone call that included "...IM SEEING AT LEAST 10 MOVIES HERE BOSS...LOOKS LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS BUT EVEN LONGER..."

imagine an Aes Sedai jerking you off with the one power, now we'll be able to see it, or at least see it be heavily implied on tv

What kind of weave would work the best? Simple Water and Air? Some Spirit added? Might Nynaeve know some instinctual weave using all five that would be superior?

A little weave of fire and spirit for my prostate.

>2018
>Still no big budget Dresden Files series

Was it even worth it, bros?

From Sony Pictures...

kill me now.

I want to get into it, can user tell me what this series is generally about?

Lan is a fucking giant in that pic

Its a fucking awful high fantasy series that tends to have 50 pages of plot at the start and 100 at the end of each book and a whole lot of *tugs braid behind you* in between

Basically Lord of the Rings with too many characters but better world building

Are any of the books worth reading?

I remember a lot of low cut dresses and women calling men oafs.

The first one is good, then each one after that is a little bit longer and a little bit worse, so just stop when you get bored.

No it's not, stop making the same thread over an over as an excuse to discuss your shitty books.

>it's an Egwene, Elayne, Nynaeve, Aviendha, Faile, or pussy-whipped Perrin chapter

I gave up on the series after the third book, did it secretly get good after that or what?

Yes, I would say it's high tier up until book five. Then if you have no patience (and I wouldn't blame you) skip to where Brandon Sanderson takes over. And then you're prepared to read Sanderson's cosmetics, starting with the Way of Kings

That whole scene and the build up leading to it has to be my favorite in the series.

>I told you to make weapons, Taim, show me.
>Disperse the Shaido.
>Break them.

3rd book is where everything starts to really go downhill. 8th book and beyond is irredeemable shit.

If it gets worse than what it already was I fail to see why anyone here cares about it.

Not skipping all female POV and by female I include Perrin in that grouping

>tfw really enjoyed the Forsaken and found most of them decent, enjoyable villains
Why can't bad guys just be evil and have a good time anymore? Even the more humanised Forsaken kept the sob story bullshit to a minimum.

>I had no clue until I finished it that "pillow friends" mean lesbian sex
Can someone please give me the run down on who was pillow friends with who?

i wonder how i read 9 books of this, i hated pretty much every character but rand

*great prologue*
*250 pages of nothing*
*10 pages of action*
*250 pages of nothing*
*good climax*
>tune in next time!

Can't believe you misspelled Lan that badly, it's only three letters user

>WoT
>great prologues
The only book that had a decent prologue was Eye of the World.

The prologues are when you can read about the Forsaken talking to the big bad or one of them playing that chess game that's so old that it references current events etc

will it be
>game of thrones
or
>young herculese

>way of kings

They really should just make a tv show of that. it has a great yassss queen character and surgebinding could have some great cheap directing.

are you one of those people who love the transformers movies cos of all the action

>rated R
or
>PG13

if its PG13 it will suck balls but since the books is basically written with teenagers in mind i bet it will be

I hope Thoms cloak looks realistic

>14 books

bruh, if you can't smell the useless padding from glancing at it then I feel bad for you

No but I also don't love several hundred pages of literally nothing happening either

The great hunt is god tier and winters heart is shit tier

No kidding, these threads are comfy as all get out.

The first book should be doable enough, and most of the second, but then we get to Falme - there's no way they can do justice to that.

There's literally no way to make the magic in this show look good

Oh I figured that there's a lot of fluff, I'm just curious what the general consensus of the series is

i wish i could get into reading but im too dumb and my attention span is gnat-like

Why do brainlets post things like this? Reading is easier than playing a video game. You're sitting down and looking at a page. Look, you're reading right now you fucking idiot.

Start with Glen Cook's Black Company. They're short and easy to read but will lead you into the wonderful world of fantasy.

Or having an orgasm while embracing the true source. Aes Sedai would probably be total cockfiends.

do you ever get so immersed in a book and then finish it
then you get depressed because its over?

Why do you think they keep those hunky men around?
No. I once got so pissed off I threw the book against the wall (Dark Tower) and if I really loved it I'll start reading it again immediately (I read through Lord of the Rings 8 times, mostly during elementary school).

>Dark Tower
thoughts on the movie?

Didn't see it and never will.

Never read the books, can't stand king. It seems like the people adapting it were forced to make it as much like the YA adaptations as possible. You can really see the, for lack of a better term, harry potter influence.

Yes it is. Rafe Judkins, motherfucker. Fuck yeah.

kek

>years ago
>friend introduces me to WoT, tells me it's his childhood favorite series
>make it 7(?) books in
>becomes first series I've ever dropped
>get carried away bitching about everything I hate about it to him
>couple weeks later, notice he hasn't been reading despite having said he was gonna reread WoT when I started
>ask him why
>says I ruined the series for him
felt bad but god damn those books were irritating
>tfw faithful Book of the Long Sun adaptation never ever

I am prepared. I have been buying hardcover copies of the series when I come across them in thrift stores. When the television series drops I will list them on ebay for a nice profit.

you are not an intelligent man

>buy book for 50 cents
>sell on ebay for $20

I do this with whatever is popular at the time. Been doing it with ASOIAF for years now.

giv aes sedai gf

Self-employed > unemployed > NEET > wageslave

It's so easy to be self employed these days I don't see why any person intelligent enough to be reading this message at this time needs to put themselves through wage slavery. There are too many resources at your fingertips to make a living without having to have some asshole tell you what to do all the hours of the day. And I'm not talking about gambling shitcoins.

What do I do for a living? A few things:

>buy decent laptops on facebook marketplace for less than $100 each then flip them on ebay or craigslist for $150-200. I make about $50-100 a week doing this
>go through thrift stores, peddler's malls and flea markets and buy hardcover fantasy novels for $1-5 and resell them for $15-100 dollars. I usually make about $30 a week like this.
>go through the above and find cameras and lenses. Usually get them for a buck and can sell for $30-50. I make about $30 a week from this.
do the same for
>keyboards
>video games
>dvds
>vhs

I familiarize myself with what is popular and sells. Not just the surface casual fag stuff but the deeper fantasy novels like stuff by Piers Anthony or Jack Vance.

You have to find your niches. Some people repair sewing machines they get at yard sales for $20 and resell them for hundreds. I'm not in that action because they are heavy to fuck around with and I have bad back from a wreck.

If it's not this it can be something else. I know a guy who makes money driving Amish people up north and back.

This is the new world of employment. A lot of little jobs here and there that add up. Sometimes you hit a big donk and make a few hundred or even thousand dollars for just a couple of hours of work. I sold a Canon f/1.2 lens for $800 last year I paid $5 for. You can't depend on these things but they certainly help you stretch it out through the lean times when they do come along. The trick is to not spend money on shit you know you will eventually come across for pennies.

My sister works in Hollywood. Trust me when I say not a single studio exec reads.

She's had to deal with people that think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are hip, current references.

>Blind Guardian

i love posts like this, since i'm reasonably bright but epically bad at translating it into making monies.

I wrote that. You are replying with pasta to the person who originally wrote it. Incredible.

>OH PLEASE, PLEASE NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT

Yeah, I was a little upset too.

I'm Summer Glau. You've posted a pic of me in response to my pasta which you originated. This is truly an insane world.

>on the fifth book

Every single chapter can be described as this: fuck these hoes in my motherfucking meal, I want the entire attention on Rand, Perrin, and Mat.

Monomyth with detailed descriptions of dresses

I made $50k off of mechanical turk one year just by brokering others' services. I worked on average 3 hours a day that year. Money is out there to be taken, my reasonably bright friend.

>Perrin
Gay.

>>Perrin
>Gay
Bara

Regardless of pasta, I have a semi-disabled uncle who supports himself and his crippled wife like this.
Lot harder to do outside of cities, though. He gets by in a rural area because he's got charisma out the ass and knows hundreds of people who'll let him root around in their shit and buy stuff off them for refurbishment and resale. Makes a pretty penny just making shitheap cars usable and selling them to high schoolers, and he doesn't even rip them off like he easily could.

>Makes a pretty penny just making shitheap cars usable and selling them
If you can get an auto dealer license and have enough to cover a few months' lease for a lot this is another way to generate free money

I have tried to get /reseller/ general going on /biz/ a few times but it has never taken. I've been thinking about retrying it on /r9k/ since there are a lot of NEETs there and it might help that board out from its slow-death of relationshit threads.

>trying to sell going outside and haggling with strangers to /r9k/
user pls

stop making this thread

Just wanted to thank the random Sup Forums user who may or may not be on this thread. You talked me into skipping a very specific book and finishing the series after a five year hiatus and I'm so happy I did. Loved the series and it had such a delightful conclusion.

Thank you :)

tfw done mechanical turk as a monkey not the guy directing the monkeys

>buying 50,000 silicone keyboard covers from chinese supplier for $500
>selling 2500 of them on ebay for $1
>selling the rest for $.50
you don't need to go outside breh

2018 would have been a good year for it to start since GoT is delayed to 2019.

Too bad this shit is literally NEVER happening.

I've done monkeywork too there, user. In the early days when you could make pretty good dosh if you were canny.

The whole thing you asswipe.

That would be part of the point. Getting /r9k/ back to actual NEETs (who do venture outside from time to time) instead of meme posers.

The only easier way to make money besides reselling that I've found is battle rapping. Just find a straight up mark who thinks he's the shit, wager several hundred thousand dollars on the spot, and murk his ass with dope rhymes.

Like if I rolled up on the OP of this thread I'd be like:
Nynaeve, yo fuck your braid
I'll tug on the peace you and Malkier made
Lan is a bitch and Two Rivers a shit
Men are superior to women now deal w/it

I'm not into it but I've heard Madden money matches are easy money if you're black.

I would've been excited before but in today's day and age it will be a disaster.

>Quadsome romance will be too sexist to do
>Perrin the sexy manly but slightly autistic will be nerfed and castrated.
>No way will they let Mat be the lovable bastard he is.

Robert Jordan wrote Aes Sedai the way he did and people in the universe hate them for being such manipulative cunts. I liked that the best female characters had integrity instead of just strength. The female Chosen also used the dark side of the feminine to conquer instead of just trying to be men.

Best bara Perrin

Why not just do an accurate adaption and embrace the publicity from the shitstorm it would generate?

>mfw not the only one who keeps checking if there's a new comfy WoT thread
I don't even know why I've made waiting for this show such a big deal for myself considering there has been literally no new info in a fucking year. I just want the show to be decent with good budget and get the important scenes right. That's all I want.
Also Sean Bean needs to be LTT. He's fucking perfect for the role.

>born with the body of an alpha, but the mind of a beta and the soul of a furry

Damn, talk about wasted potential

I don't know, Sean Bean's too big for ITT in my mind. Struggling to think of anyone who could fit the role, though. I'd say Nikolaj, but Nikolaj is perfect for Mat.

MATING
PRESS
>according to borderlander tradition
It was the seafolk tradition.

Ask Graendal.

Gotta be spirit, there's a whole world of dreams to indulge your magical realm in

>fire
>prostate

m8 you wot now

Because they won't get the financial backing to get it off the ground. It would be legendary though