I WANT TO BE STRONG IN THE REAL WAY

I WANT TO BE STRONG IN THE REAL WAY

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youtube.com/watch?v=OtTmR_v6pz4
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youtube.com/watch?v=5T5rCSmduaY
youtu.be/ckZlj2p8W9M
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This was a good song to be quite honest family.

Then stop eating pancakes with popcorn and whipped cream for breakfast, and donuts everyday, and throwing fits when your favorite icecream get's discontinued. Also Your pizza bagels have very little protein and nutrients.

>pizza bagels
PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IM THE ORIGINAL STEVEN

I'm regular Stormy.

No bars? I'm right next to a satellite!

just cry you fucking pussy

We'll you were. But giving yourself up to the diamonds was retarded.

I like when Pearl sings and I like this song, but it is ruined by not having Pearl sing all of it

Maybe one day.

...

I see you have seen the first few episodes, I too have seen the first few episodes

Bruh you literally have super strength, If you'd just quit conveniently forgetting you have super powers for narrative tension you could be strong any way you want.

Steven's entire purpose in the show is to be a fucking retard. What do you expect?

>three women raise one child
>turns out retarded and emotionally stunted

Wow...so this is the power...of modern parenting

...

Rippetoe episode when?

Four technically

> 10 squats, 20 push-ups, 20 sit-ups.

> Everyday till the end of the year.

> At the beginning of the new year increase all exercises in the routine by 10.

> Repeat ad infinatum.

Keep to that and I guarantee results within a year, no matter how disgusting or lethargic you are...

man steven just eats shit all day doesnt he
you didnt even mention the bits

Thank you Saitama.

better version

I want to be hypermasculine ( in the real way)

god i hate the songs in this shit show

>why do you have to look up to him (aside from in a literal sense)
>Can't you see that gains he's got, comes at a bigger expense

Is that Dipper or Mabel who's saying that?

What the fuck else was he supposed to do? Aqua s fucking broken

Oy vey, here we go again...

yes

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TELL ME YOUR SECRET NOW

I wonder what the show would've been like if Greg had been voiced by Danny Devito

fuck you weeb

Stop posting the worst Ruby Gloom girl

>Greg throws a trash can at Jasper, but accidentally cracks her gem

You're dead. DEAD!

I can't really see Greg being voiced by DeVito, he's too much of nice guy. But what I can see one of Greg's relatives being voiced by him if we ever see more of his family in the future.

And for the record, DeVito's actually a decent singer.

>youtube.com/watch?v=OtTmR_v6pz4

just go to a martial arts gym

Are there numerous alternate worlds where the gems just carry on with their lives without Steven?

Stop hanging around a bunch of magical emotional stunted space rock slut lesbians then, and find a real man to be a role model, you filthy nu-male scum.

I thought violence would be the answer

who is greg?

Some kind of weird pseudo-hippy?

Who is:

>A disgustingly overweight balding beach bum rocker slash surfer enthusiast who runs a mediocre car wash business whilst he lives out of the back of his jalopy hippie-mobile, always wearing the same outfit of a wife beater and denim shorts that ride a little too high for the leggings, and cheap plastic sandals, who has never been even a moderate role model to his son, where a group of fusing (sex-crazed) space rock lesbians take his position as a role model.

WEW!

Yeah, its called the real world. And their powers are replaced with dyed hair, cultural Marxism and screeching and screaming at made up illusionary modern injustices as they fight a system that doesn't even oppress them until they themselves get violent.

Greg is too much like your average Sup Forumstards' dad for them to like him.

I'm afraid you suffer from a lack of taste.

youtube.com/watch?v=RDlxSTe5UG4
youtube.com/watch?v=5T5rCSmduaY

Not that user, but I feel the same, at least about most of the songs with lyrics. The music is great, the lyrics are often (but not always) garbage.

I disagree...

>using Feeling Blue as an example of a good song
this is where you fucked up Bill

It's amazing though, a bizarre track quite fitting to the characters shown in the screen.

It takes the already ominous theme from the Diamonds to a musical level, clashing violently with the sweet delicate vocals from Patti fucking LuPone. It's an incredibly dissonant sound that feels both extraterrestrial and oppresive, contrasting it with the melancholoic emotional state present in Blue Diamond.

the lyrics could use some work though

just got to apply yourself Steven and the results will come

1. He has a trash can
2. He dumps trash all ovah da floo
3. He eats da trash

Stop eating shitty shit all the fucking time and hit the gym you useless bastard. Theres no point in having super strength and magic if you'll just die of a heart attack from running for ten seconds..

That won't do shit if you eat like a fatass

>Proceeds to cry in a corner

This

>Whilst wearing a dress.

And this.

Still one of my top SU songs.

Watch me turn the thread around.
LET'S
GET DOWN
TO BUISINESS

...There is a task for Connie there. Who else could have taught him? Greg? Yeah, a former travelling rock artist seems like a great dietician. Pearl? She would just tell him to stop eating altogether. Amethyst? She would just tell him to eat anything at all. Garnet? Good luck with that.

Disturbing how little time-travel it took to change him so much. Maybe that's why the gems seem reticent to use it.

You can't tell, but it's feeding down a pants leg.
Greg: "He's a DeMayo alright."

>20 push-ups, 20 sit-ups.

Local news reports: man found dead, cause unknown

It makes sense that Yellow can't sing very well, in the context of the show.

I hope Blue gets a nice song. Oooooo! A flashback of Pink through her eyes during the song, in which we see Pink Diamond as this adorable little sister
>At the end, Rose appears as an ominous dark figure with a cruelly flashing blade

Yes, like most normal people, he cries when he is sad. I don't know about the dress-wearing though.

I wonder if he got stronger (Stronger than most adult men, for one thing) simply because he had consciously realized he wanted to be?

Oh wow, I just remembered Steven got a hold of a magical hourglass in that episode.

Wait...
If Homeworld has access to time travel technology, then why don't they just send someone back in time to stop the shattering of Pink Diamond?

Start eating cooked food first instead of fast food and microwave dishes.

That is one of the big questions in the series.

It almost confirms Homeworld DOESN'T have time travel capabilities. They would not rest until they worked out a way to change the past without endangering reality. The problem with that is always the information paradox: if you change something so the negative outcome is averted, how did you know what to change? That is why, in Marvel Comics, you CAN'T change the past - you can only create new alternate timelines (Of course that might be enough for some people - to know there is a reality where things did work out). Unless you use Doctor Doom's time platform, and that tends to endanger the entire universe.

>TFW Homeworld has tried to change the past, and the current situation is the outcome

Of course it is possible Homeworld did NOT create time travel technology, leaving the question where it did come from.

I once suggested humanity had created the Gems themselves during some forgotten era in the past, and it led to the destruction of human civilization when people became completely reliant on their super-robots until the robots decided they didn't want to serve anymore.
But then, someone else said "What if they're from the future, instead?". And we have to consider that possibility, since time travel is a given.

How? How? How does anyone let that happen to himself?

I like to believe that the time travel thing was one of its kind artefact (or a very early prototype) and Steven wasted it to make a band.

>How? How? How does anyone let that happen to himself?
Keep your calorie intake near 4000 without any exercise and you will see how your body literally falls apart under weight.

Imagine him playing a Pearl or some form of Spy based gem.
Singing while talking boat loads of shit to Steven like a dancing Scott.

Really reaching there

>He brings Tumblr into unrelated shit.
Faggot.

I get the mechanics, it's the psychology of the thing.

I am a feeble fool when it comes to snacking, but I never got heavier than 106. I've been under 95 for years. How do you not do SOMETHING once you get to a certain point?

Shit bro, those are some nice gains. It'd sure be a shame if someone shot them into the vacuum of space.

This might seem a little far-fetched and kind of illogical, but what if Homeworld found on earth a certain component that could allow them to produce devices with the ability to travel back in time?
Such devices were only available to the highest ranking members of the gem society, however, they might have ended being nothing more but fancy adornments due to the fact that they weren't used frequently, and it just so happens that during the evacuation of the planet they were simply left behind.

although, that would bring up the question about why wouldn't Homeworld just send a scout to earth in order to retrieve the artifacts...
it is quite the conundrum

Personally I believe some Crystal Gem autist had an underwater haven where they made/hoarded hourglasses and made that time travel hourglass thingy.

Here's to hoping one day we will get more bara Steven.
That one scene was far too little for my tastes.

Work Harder; Not Smarter
youtu.be/ckZlj2p8W9M

>Steven triangle chokes Yellow Diamond

No one seems to question the fact that Sapphire can see the future and therefore alter/influence it, so why is time travel that big of a plot hole?

youtube.com/watch?v=GeIa3U17Szw

Maybe the shattering of Pink Diamond was inevitable. Maybe it was one of those "pools".

Pearl should start eating

>near 4000
That's about 6 sticks of butter a day. For reference, you could eat 3 sticks of butter a day and be hitting those 2000 recommended calorie requirements

Sapphire can see all the future scenarios and find the most likely one. When Steven chalenged the Ruby Squad to a game of baseball, Sapphire saw that as a possibility but was surprised when it happened.

Why are those things called 'sticks'?

the fuck would you call them?

We say 'packets'.

His eating habits don't change. If anything he gets fatter.

So does this mean smart?

Joke's on you! I was only pretending to be retarded!
>!

No, he meant physically strong.

I like the way Pearl moans like a whore at the start.

Well, that is shaped as more of a packet, here's a proper stick of butter with good old imperial measurements.

That explains it.

...

Are you implying that fat people cant be strong, or that you need to avoid eating to gain strength? You're all mixed up, you're thinking of weight loss, which is actually the opposite of strength.

It will do something. Your working against all of that fat so your body will get stronger...

However, if you are obscenely gluttonous, then you'll have to wait several years until your routine is rigorous enough to offset your intake in order to burn off your fat...

Alternatively, you could just eat less...

He goes from flabby to solid brick and gains super strength. Sadly, his eating habits keep getting worse.