Amazon, UPS, FedEX, Alphabet, Alibaba, Lockheed, Alstrom...

Amazon, UPS, FedEX, Alphabet, Alibaba, Lockheed, Alstrom, Black Water and the top cargo shiping companies merge into one big supercorporation
The UN fears it so they make all nations put taxes on the sea and air travel
The company retaliates by blockading Hawaii
Who would be the jedi sent to force a settlement?

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starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Royal_Naboo_Security_Forces
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Naboo_Royal_Space_Fighter_Corps
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Liam Neeson

The man with no weakness.

Why not just throw a frisbee at him?

Rey

Team America

>blockade Hawaii
>force a settlement
What, negotiate from the life rafts after the US military annihilates them? Naboo was a bunch of hippies who didn't even have an army and had to be rescued by weird frog people living in ponds in the woods

It was a dumb story but could've been great anyway if the writing was less stupid. And if Anakin was a scrappy teenage space-street-racer slave winning over the well-heeled but secretly rebellious young queen after she was stranded on his backwater planet with a couple of Jedi dudes capable of perceiving the aura of destiny surrounding him. Oh and Gungans should've been cooler or at least Jar Jar less annoying. Think about it, how much of the shit in that movie just comes down to Jar Jar and annoying prepubescent Anakin? The writing is shit on top of that but Herschlag had nothing to work with, the shit Anakin gets up to (by accident lol) is dumb as hell and Jar Jar just drags the whole thing down.

Could've been great. The whole prequel trilogy could've been. At least it's only missed potential not sabotaged potential that actively hates what it's built on

shit-tier CGI tbqh

You are a fucking moron, those are models

I was with you until

>The company retaliates by blockading Hawaii
>Who would be the jedi sent to force a settlement?

uhh

what.. ? why.jpeg

Dummy, the us military wouldnt do antlything cause the president and the senate would be on their pocket, thats the point

kek

What part of the writing was stupid?

They wouldn't be allowed to merge you retard

I dont get what you dont get
The trade federation blockaded naboo to make the senate lift the taxes and then the chamcellor sent in secret two jedis to threaten the viceroy and made them stop the blockade
What Im asking is what would be the equivalent of jedis in our world, a group of navy seals?

republic didnt have a military

First of all this is hipothetical, and second, disney bought fox and alphabet and amazon are giants already

>that's it, i'm coming out of retirement say no more senpai

>What Im asking is what would be the equivalent of jedis in our world, a group of navy seals?

in the context of the movie just diplomats/negotiators. They were sent to talk it out, a strike team like a navy seal

The un either, but every nation has one just like every planet

Just so you know.
We have much cooler shit up there.
Sometimes there's a little man in it, most often times there isn't.

>implying you can get cooler than this

No, the trade federation was expecting negotatiors who they believe they could buy but the chancellor sent the jedi as a threat and they freaked out

Navy seals in monk robes

nope. nobody in the republic had an army hence clones

The Jedi are negotiators, Obi Wan's fucking nickname was The Negotiator, even Grevious called him that. It was only during the Clone Wars when the Jedi went full militarized.

it was extremely dull and obviously cobbled together in a rush. it's rarely clear exactly why things are happening. none of the characters have any real charm or depth. think about it, the guy we know the best at the end is fucking Jar Jar. a ton of screentime is just people droning on about things (why are you explaining SPACE MAGIC to us George,) or really bad comedy for children. there's no rhyme or reason to the structure except that there's an action interlude at the start, in the middle (podrace and tatooine escape) and at the end, and the ending should be bittersweet but it isn't because we hardly know anything about Qui Gon anyway except that he's played by a likable guy and seems nice. if they'd brought in a competent writer to bring a little flavor to the dialog and make sense of the structure, that would've helped a lot. make the changes I laid out in the other post at the same time, we would've gotten a second great trilogy. shame

he looks like he's really good at sucking dick, imagine how long his tongue is. Do you think he can squish his neck down and make his tongue longer? imagine a two-foot tongue, doing circles around your assholes and suddenly just jamming itself up in there... mmm....

kino pic

Obi Wan was only a padawan under Qui-Gon though. That sneaky fucker would try to jedi mind trick the whole room before attempting to "negotiate". Why would the trade federation trust the jedi known for their force mind rape power? Just send some actual negotiators without mind fuckery power would have been okay.

They had planet armies just not a global one, like the eu doesnt have one but each nation does
That doesnt mean that they were going around the galaxy solving marriage disputes you know?
They were sent to deal with planetary crisis, preventing wars and border disputes

>They had planet armies just not a global one
wut

All Lucas friends gave him the finger, kasdan, spielbierg...

Implying the neimodians could be mind tricked

no real world/galaxy-spanning superpower would be so complacent as to let a bunch of massive companies team up, build and a train a whole military, and then start bullying states/systems with impunity. protection from that kind of thing is literally the whole point of having a global/galactic government.

>vote law into effect (e.g. "no more eating such and such species because turns out they're sentient")
>half of your 4000 (or whatever) systems say "fuck off" and ignore it
>do nothing
Yeah that'll last. What do they even use the tax revenue for, building more skyscrapers on Coruscant? Like I said, prequel story was stupid at any level of analysis, but still could've been good cinema if not for the other problems

What were the soldiers and ships from naboo then?

The republic was not a superpower, just a comercial and political alliance, thats the point of the rise of the empire

Why didnt the UN interve on syria then?

yeah I read something about that at some point. bummer. guess he burned too many bridges, as left with the yes-man parasites (aside from ILM which does fine work to this day, and was arguably always his main passion)

I believe the big companies didnt allow them

UN's a joke, it's like a participation award for having put together some semblance of a government, supposedly the Republic has been around in some form for thousands of years and its affiliated Jedi monastic order works and draws candidates from all over the galaxy. massive infrastructure and absolutely no measures taken to protect it despite massive resources. dumb. even the Vatican has Swiss Guards

Mind tricks only work on weak minded. Trade Federation leaders are not weak minded. Jedi before the clone wars would always try to solve things peacefully without lightsabers.

Well they didn't know shit about love so of course they weren't doing marriage disputes. But they're not mercenaries either, they're diplomats/peacekeepers/mediators.

>The company retaliates by blockading Hawaii

They'd be nuked by lunchtime with the manbaby in office right now

royal guard

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Royal_Naboo_Security_Forces

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Naboo_Royal_Space_Fighter_Corps

Generally only give a shit about the monarchy, not the entire planet.

The Republic was incompetent and corrupt, much like the fucking UN. Why do you think Sheev turned it into the Empire? During the Republic you still had slavery and the Hutts in charge of the Outer Rims. Empire came into power and guess what? No more human slaves and Hutts were told to fuck off into their corners.

Did you miss the part where the whole plot of Attack of the Clones was about the formation of a Republic Army?

>even the Vatican has Swiss Guards


So did the Republic.

you mean the one made of clones?

no the one made of droids
yes you retard

I'm just saying that a galactic government just now running into the problem of not being able to back up their own rules, after thousands of years of things being hunky dory in between sith-related catastrophes, strains credulity for me and I probably would have gone with a different angle, more of a stagnating republic subverted by a fascist splinter faction (not just one really sneaky guy) probably. It's a tertiary problem with the story, at best, the other stuff I mentioned is far more important

did you even watch the prequels? they clone armies were a (((coincidence)))

There was a thing called judiciary force, those two pilots on the ship that got killed at the begining

No? They were ordered by a sith, probably sheev. They werent a coincidence at all.

you must be a newfag

>I probably would have gone with a different angle, more of a stagnating republic subverted by a fascist splinter faction

That was the entire fucking plot you retard. The Republic was a stagnant with tedious bureaucracy that made it impossible to do anything. Hence the whole vote of no confidence. The splinter faction was the CIS. More and more systems left to join the Confederacy because of what a mess the Republic was.

the republic can't be obviously useless from the start because how on earth would it become so dominant in the first place. sentient beings (at least ones based on human psychology) cannot be kept from doing their own thing and stealing their neighbor tribes' shit except by social conventions backed by (convincing) force. in decline? corrupt? decadent? that would've worked, but everything seems pretty sanguine, the parts we see

and a bunch of weird aliens and their robot armies acting as puppets of one guy doesn't do it for me as the axis of evil. Palpatine needed a crowd to play to, people don't turn into fascists overnight. people whose point of view you could understand, though their actions seemed to go beyond the pale.

basically it should've just been NOT SHIT. I'm tired of going on about this one minor aspect of what I originally said. the geopolitical background, like the rest of the story, is dumb, but it's not even close to a main problem

It was good, but as time went on, the central government gave more and more freedom to star systems and corporations, until all they had left was law makers and dogmatic Jedi.
When CW began, they created the clones and gave them Jedi generals, because that's all they had. They couldn't rely on sector armies, because those betrayed them en masse.

A thousand years of peace corrupts and stagnates everything

Also, it was still salvageable, if it wasn't for Palpatine abusing the system to gain power.

Also, Palpatine rise to Chancellor is basically him setting up accidents to portray him as a martyr and the last bastion against turmoil and asking people to trade freedom for safety. And then asking again and again, until Empire stood on nothing but sheer strength.

You can say the same thing of the British. Used to be an Empire dominating most of the world and now they're worthless cucks. You saw what a spineless leader chancellor valorum was. Why do you think Jar Jar made a motion to give Sheev 'emergency powers'? They couldn't do jack shit with the bureaucrats constantly bickering and never getting anything done.

The CIS were the Trade Federation, InterGalactic Banking Clan, Techno Union, Commerce Guild, etc. They weren't just some rando aliens, they were rich superpowers. Imagine if all the banks armed with an army of terminators decided to pull out and from their own government? Big enough of a threat yet?

get a load of this communist

Its really funny how the biggest empire in the world can just collapse in just three generations