SHEEV THREAD

Post the best you have of the Absolute Madman

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youtube.com/watch?v=x3IJjJCXWNU
youtube.com/watch?v=s1JGt7e5koc
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Have you ever heard the story of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

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Ironic.

Tfw you will never be the senate

Do it

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>when you nutted and she still suking?

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Okay: youtube.com/watch?v=x3IJjJCXWNU

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am I gay

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will there ever be another good star wars movie?

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Will things get better

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more?

Why didn't they film a shirtless Rey scene?

Because then we'd have something nice to say about the movie

Prequels aren't so bad if you realize two things:
1) Darth Jar Jar is definitely a thing
and 2) Pic related

Them both shirtless, force connected, staring at each other. It would have been nice

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wut?
is this canon?

Not anymore, this is "Dark Empire", the first Dark Horse comic book about Star Wars, a classic of the expanded universe now part of "Legends".

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Posting for the Senate

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I'm reading it right now. It's absolutely retarded but in a charming way.

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>mfw I literally watched episode 3 for the first time in my life just now and a Sheev thread scrolled past I have

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damn, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine looks like THAT!!?!

It was a different time user

>tfw no Sheev JOI

>face type
>ironic

Ironic...

Jesus Christ Sup Forums fuck off

I

>implying
Sup Forums are pro-rebel plebs

but....but....MUH EXPANDED UNIVERSE!!!!
fuck off Mouse!!

Referring specifically to the comic shit

what's the matter?

Comics are gay

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I am the Sup Forums

youtube.com/watch?v=s1JGt7e5koc

This will never cease to be funny

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Capeshit is gay
not all comics, especially knowing the capeshit obsession of this board, you could says Sup Forums is the gayest board.

>wrong opinions on Sup Forums

A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one

Why, because it's better written than TLJ?

what

Only a Skywalker body could contain his power without destroying itself.

>he doesn't get the ionic job
Ironic..

comfy Sheev

Just before he finds himself on the Invisible hand...

>"Vulture fighters!" Mace told the Jedi and Red Guards. Leaning low at the
window, he saw one of the droids climb over the mag-lev, only to descend
on the opposite side of the train in the midst of the free-travel lane,
initiating a succession of collisions that flung speeders, taxis, and buses all
over the skytunnel. Two vehicles careened into the train, only to rebound
back into the travel lane, starting a second series of fatal crashes. Racing
alongside Palpatine's car, the same droid responsible for the collisions
surged into a steep climb and disappeared from view. Not a moment later
an earsplitting sound reached Mace from somewhere in the rear of the
train and overhead. Behind the tinted glass, sparks showered down the
rounded sides of the car, and the smell of molten metal wafted from the
ventilation grilles. A tumult of terrified cries rose from the car directly
behind Palpatine's, and hands and feet began to pound against the
passageway door.
Part of a group of mag-lev security personnel stationed there, a Weequay
looked to Mace. "We won't be able to hold them back!"
In turn, Mace whirled to Shaak Ti and Allie. "Move the Chancellor into the
forward car!"
>Shaak Ti regarded him as if he had lost his mind. "It's packed, Mace!"
"I know that. Find a way!" He gestured for Kit Fisto, and the two of them
shouldered through the cluster of security personnel at the rear of the car
and activated their lightsabers. Faced with the purple and blue blades,
passengers on the far side of the door's window began to retreat into the
vestibule, battling with those behind them who were attempting to press
into the forward car. When there was space enough in the vestibule, Mace
instructed the Weequay to unlock the door. Without hesitation he and Kit
dashed through the vestibule and on into the rear car, where most of the
mixed-species passengers were heaped atop seats to both sides of the
wide aisle.

>Wind howled through the car from a jagged rend that had been opened in the roof, and through which had dropped half a dozen infantry droids. Mace allowed himself a moment of bewilderment. Since the battle droids couldn't have been delivered by the droid fighters, there had to be a third Separatist craft racing alongside the train. The battle droids opened fire. To many of the passengers all but fused to the tinted windows, the situation must have seemed hopeless. Not because the two Jedi couldn't deflect the hail of blaster bolts aimed at them, but because they couldn't deflect them without sending some into or through people in the car. But those passengers failed to recognize that one of the Jedi was Mace Windu - -rumored to have single-handedly destroyed a seismic tank on Dantooine and that the other was Kit Fisto, Nautolan hero of the Battle of Mon Calamari. Together they returned some of the sizzling bolts into the advancing droids. Others they sent whizzing through the opening in the roof, managing in the process to catch one of the Vultures in the belly and send it spiraling to its death somewhere below the mag-lev line. Sparks and smoke whirled through the car, and parts of spindly arms and legs flew about unavoidably, but Mace and Kit called on the Force to control even those. A few Coruscanti were struck, but, against all odds, the Jedi saw to it that none was critically injured. No sooner had the final droid dropped than Mace leapt straight up through the rend, landing in a crouch on the roof of the next car down the line, holding himself in place by the Force with the wind whipping at the back of his shaved skull and coarse tunic. Senses on alert, he saw a Separatist craft drop down behind the final car in the line.

I've tried making Sheev in Sims
tell me, how terrible do you think it is?

>Farther away, but quickly making up the distance, flew two Republic gunships. Instinctively he glanced to the right just as the second Vulture droid was rocketing into view. Seeing him, the droid sprayed the roof of the car with cannon fire. Mace turned into the powerful wind and focused all his intention on a front flip that carried him back through the rend. The Vulture veered, positioning itself directly over the laceration its partner had opened, and reorienting its wing cannons. In what would surely have been a futile act, Mace raised his lightsaber. But the expected cannon blast
never arrived. Wings clipped and repulsors damaged by missiles fired from the gunships, the Vulture slammed down onto the roof of the speeding train, then rolled out of sight. Deactivating their blades, Mace and Kit rushed into the forward car, which was now filled with Palpatine's advisers and those passengers the Jedi women and Red Guards had relocated from the train's lead car. Mace and Kit continued to squirm forward, arriving in the Supreme Chancellor's car just as the mag-lev was emerging from the skytunnel. The sun was going down, and the tall buildings that rose to the west cast enormous shadows across the city canyon and the busy thoroughfares far below the cantilevered mag-lev line. In the middle of the car, Palpatine stood at the center of the cordon the Red Guards had formed around him. And at a fixed-pane window they had deliberately shattered, Shaak Ti and Stass Allie were gazing toward the rear of the train. "Those fighters could easily have derailed us with a torpedo," Shaak Ti said as Mace and Kit approached. Mace leaned partway out the window, eyes searching the canyon. "And battle droids don't just drop from the sky. There's a third craft." Kit's bulging black eyes indicated Palpatine. "They want to take him alive."

>The words had scarcely left his mouth when something hit the train with sufficient force to whip everyone from one side of the car to the other, then back again. The Red Guards were just regaining their balance when the roof began to resound with the cadence of heavy, clanging footfalls, advancing from the rear of the train. "Grievous," Mace grumbled. Kit glanced at him. "Here we go again." Hurrying into the vestibule between the two lead cars, they launched themselves to the roof. Three cars distant marched General Grievous and two of his elite droids, their capes snapping behind them in the wind, pulsetipped batons angled across their barrel chests. Farther back, clamped by animal-like claws to the roof of the train, was the gunboat from which the frightful trio had been released. Without pausing, Grievous drew two lightsabers from inside his billowing cloak. By the time they were ignited, Mace was already on and all over the cyborg, batting away at the two blades, swinging low at Grievous's artificial legs, thrusting at his skeletal face. The lightsabers thrummed and hissed, meeting one another in bursts of dazzling light. In a corner of Mace's mind he wondered to which Jedi Grievous's blades had belonged. Just as the Force was keeping Mace from being blown from the mag-lev's roof, magnetism of some sort was keeping the general fastened in place. For the cyborg, though, the coherence hindered as much as it helped, whereas Mace never remained in one place for very long. Again and again the three blades joined, in snarling attacks and parries. As Mace already knew from Ki-Adi-Mundi and Shaak Ti, Grievous was well trained in the Jedi arts. He could recognize the hand of Dooku in the general's training and technique. His strikes were as forceful as any Mace had ever had to counter, and his speed was astonishing. But he didn't know Vaapad - - the technique of dark flirtation in which Mace excelled.

not bad. make him pursue a career in politics

Is this what peak performance looks like?

>To the rear of the car, where Grievous's pair of MagnaGuards had made the mistake of pitting themselves against Kit Fisto, the Nautolan's blade was a cyclone of blazing blue light. Resistant to the energy outpourings of a lightsaber, the phrik alloy staffs were potent weapons, but like any weapon they needed to find their target, and Kit simply wasn't allowing that. In moves a Twi'lek dancer might envy, he spun around the guards, claiming a limb from both with each rotation: left legs, right arms, right legs... The speed of the train saw to the rest, ultimately whisking the droids into the canyon like insects blown from the windscreen of a speeder bike. The loss of his confederates was noted by whatever computers were slaved to Grievous's organic brain, but the loss neither distracted nor slowed him. His sole setting was attack. Successful at analyzing Mace's lightsaber style, those same computers suggested that Grievous alter his stance and posture, along with the angle of his parries, ripostes, and thrusts. The result wasn't Vaapad, but it was close enough, and Mace wasn't interested in prolonging the contest any longer than necessary. Crouching low, he angled the blade downward and slashed, guiding it through the roof of the car, perpendicular to Grievous's stalwart advance. Mace saw by the surprised look in the cyborg's reptilian eyes that, for all his strength, dexterity, and resolve, the living part of him wasn't always in perfect sync with his alloy servos. Clearly, Grievous - - onetime courageous commander of sentient troops - - realized what Mace had done and wanted to sidestep, where General Grievous - - current commander of droids and other war machines - - wanted nothing more than to impale Mace with lunging thrusts of the paired blades. Slipping into the gap made by Mace's saber, Grievous's left talon lost magnetic purchase on the roof, and the general faltered.

>Mace came out of his crouch prepared to drive his sword into Grievous's guts, but some last-instant firing of the general's cybersynapses compelled the cyborg's torso through a swift half twist that would have sent Mace's head hurtling into the canyon had the maneuver prevailed. Instead Mace leapt backward, out of the range of the slicing blades, and Force-pushed outward, just at the instant of Grievous's single misstep. Off the side of the car the general went, twisting and turning as he fell, Mace trying to track the general's contorted plunge, but unsuccessfully. Had he fallen into the canyon? Had he managed to dig his duranium claws into the side of the car or grab hold of the mag-lev rail itself? Mace couldn't take the time to puzzle it out. One hundred meters away, the gunboat retracted its landing gear and rose from the roof on repulsorlift power. Reckless shots from one of the pursuing gunships obliged the Separatist craft to skew, then dive, with the gunship following close behind. Mace and Kit watched in awe as the two ships began to helix forward around the speeding mag-lev, exchanging constant fire. Climbing away from the train's sharp nose, within which the magnetic controls were housed, the gunboat made as if to bank west, only to bank east at the last instant. By then, however, the gunship - - leading its target west - - had already fired. Drilled by a swarm of deadly hyphens, the mag-lev's control system blew apart, and the entire train began to drop.

I like how in this, Darth Vader turned to the Dark Side because the Emperor offered him awesome power and military might. That makes way much more sense for the OT than that he wrongly assumed Sheev could help him heal his wife.

>(((banking clans)))and corrupt (((trade federations)))
Even a long long time a go in a galaxy far far away there was jewish trickery.

sure will

BUT WHAT OF THE DROID ATTACK ON THE WOOKIES?

based Sheev outjewed the jews

>At Palpatine's apartment, Grievous had managed to fool everyone by placing the gunboat on display, then clandestinely transferring himself and his combat droids into the Republic gunship Lord Tyranus had promised would be waiting for them. He had been forced to improvise when Palpatine's protectors had opted to follow an alternate route to the bunker, and he had enjoyed chasing the mag-lev - - if not the brief duel on the roof of the train car. Tyranus had warned him about Mace Windu's prowess with a blade, and now he understood. His literal "misstep" had shamed him, and he was grateful that the two MagnaGuards that had fought at his side had not survived to bear witness to it. Had he not managed at the last instant to grab hold of the mag-lev rail and be retrieved by the borrowed gunship, all the efforts the Banking Clan had undertaken to have him rebuilt would have been for nothing. But as it happened he was now about to give the Separatists more than their credits' worth. Perhaps a means to proclaim themselves victors of the war. Grievous and five remaining droids completed their march to the bunker, deflecting the fire of three troopers guarding the entrance, then decapitating them. Hexagonal, the sturdy portal was impervious to blaster bolts, radiation, or electromagnetic pulse. Grievous was well aware that his lightsabers were capable of burning through the door. While doing so would have heightened the drama of his entry, he did the next best thing. He used the code Tyranus had provided. "Under no circumstances are you to harm the Chancellor," he exhorted his elite, while layers of the thick hatch were retracting. The astonishment registered by Palpatine and his quartet of Jedi Knights assured Grievous that he could not have made a more dramatic entry. A large desk dominated the circular room, and banks of communications consoles formed the circumference. Centered in the curved wall opposite the entrance was a second door.

>Posing for effect in the polygonal opening, Grievous granted his opponents a moment to activate their lightsabers, force pikes, and other weapons. Also for effect, he deflected the initial flurry of blaster bolts with his clawed hands, before drawing two of his lightsabers. His brazenness summoned the Jedi to him in a flash, but he knew in the first moments of contest that he had nothing to worry about. Compared to Mace Windu, the four were mere novices, whose lightsaber techniques were some of the earliest Grievous had mastered. Behind him rushed his elite droids, with a single purpose in mind: to tear into the guards and soldiers arrayed in a defensive semicircle in front of Palpatine. Tall, elegant looking, dramatic in their red robes and facemasked cowls, the Supreme Chancellor's protectors were well trained and fought with passion. Their fists and feet were fast and powerful, and their force pikes sliced and jabbed through the near impervious armor of the droids. But they were no real match for fearless war machines, programmed to kill by any means possible. Perhaps if Palpatine had been intelligent enough to have surrounded himself with real Jedi - - Jedi of the caliber of Windu and the tentacleheaded Kit Fisto - - the engagement might have gone differently. Fencing with his four adversaries - - for that's all the fight amounted to - - Grievous saw six of the soldiers and three of the Red Guards jolted to spasming deaths by the MagnaGuards' double-tipped scepters. One of his elite had gone down, as well, but even though blinded and savagely slashed by the guards' staffs, the droid was continuing to fight.

Only Sheev Could Conquer the Galaxy for himself

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>And those elite still on their feet had altered their combat stances and offensive moves to adapt to the guards' defensive strategies. Grievous enjoyed going against so many Jedi simultaneously. If time wasn't of the essence, he might have protracted the fight. Feinting with the blade in his right hand, he removed the head of one Jedi with the blade in his left. Distracted when his right foot inadvertently booted the rolling head of his comrade, the Ithorian dropped his guard momentarily, and received as penalty a thrust to the heart that dropped him to his knees before he pitched forward. Stepping back to absorb what had happened, the two remaining Jedi came at Grievous in concert, twirling and leaping about as if putting on some sort of crowd-pleasing martial arts demonstration. For practice, Grievous called two more blades from his belt, grasping them in his feet even as the antigrav repulsors built into his legs were lifting him from the floor, making him every bit as agile as the Force did the Jedi. With his four blades to the Jedi's two, the duel had come full circle. Whirling, he severed the blade hand of the Talz, then his opposing foot, then took his l ife, as well. Mists of blood formed in the air, swirled about by the ventilators.
The fourth he intimidated into retreat by wheeling all four blades, transforming himself into a veritable chopping machine. Fear blossomed in the Twi'lek Jedi's dark eyes as she backed away. He had her on the run, poor thing. But he awarded her some measure of dignity by allowing her to land glancing blows on his forearms and shoulders. The burns did little more than add a new odor to the room. Emboldened, she pressed her attack, but was fast exhausting herself from the effort of trying to amputate one of his limbs - - to hurt him in some fashion.

Yes it is
Fuck Disney

*Lucasfilm Story Group
Disney is just a convenient scapegoat tbqh

>Clone Wars were the start of the EU wipe
now it all makes sense

>And all for what? Grievous asked himself. The timid old man backed to the bunker's rear wall? The would-be champion of democracy, who had loosed his clone army against the merchants and builders and traders who opposed his rule - - his Republic? Best to put the Jedi out of her misery, Grievous thought. Which he did with a single blade to the heart - - for it would have been cruel to do otherwise. Elsewhere his three surviving elites were doing well against five Red Guards. With time counting down, he waded into the thick of the action. Sensing him, one guard feinted a rotation to the left, then pivoted to the right with his force pike raised at face level. A move Grievous could appreciate, although he was no longer in the space through which the weapon sliced. Using two blades, he nipped the guard's cowled head from his torso. The next he speared from behind in both kidneys. Opening the backs of another's thighs, he moved on, disemboweling the fourth. The last guard was already dead by the time he reached him. With a gesture, Grievous instructed his elite to secure the bunker's hexagonal door. Then, deactivating his lightsabers, he turned to Palpatine. "Now, Chancellor," he announced, "you're coming with us." Palpatine neither cowered nor protested. He merely said: "You will be a true loss to the forces you represent." The remark took Grievous by surprise. Was this praise? "Four Jedi Knights, all these soldiers and guards," Palpatine went on, gesturing broadly. "Why not wait until Shaak Ti and Stass Allie arrive." He cocked his head to one side. "I think I hear them coming. They are Masters, after all." Grievous didn't respond immediately. Was Palpatine trying to trick him? "I might at any other time," he said finally. "But a ship awaits us that will take you from Coruscant - - and from your cherished Republic, as well." Palpatine mocked him with a sneer. "Do you actually believe that this plan will succeed?"

filoni wars is awful. fight me prequel kids.

>trying to discover the secret to cheating death
>clones

Why do people complain about this?

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From the beginning he wanted to topple Palpatine. He says as much to Padmé

They nerfed Grievous but those events take place earlier than LoE/RotS and Anakin was slowly improving in TCW too.

>
>Grievous returned the look. "You're more defiant than I was led to believe, Chancellor. But, yes, the plan will succeed - - and to your deficit. I would gladly kill you now but for my orders." "So you take orders," Palpatine said, moving with deliberate lethargy. "Which of us, then, is the lesser?" Before Grievous could reply, he added: "My death won't end this war, General." Grievous had wondered about that. Understandably, Lord Sidious had his plan, but did he actually believe that Palpatine's death would prompt the Jedi to lay down their lightsabers? Thrown into turmoil by the Chancellor's death, could the Senate order the Jedi to stand down? After years of warfare, would the Republic suddenly capitulate? The sound of rapid footfalls roused him, and he gestured to the bunker's rear door. "Move," he told Palpatine. The MagnaGuards stepped forward to make certain that Palpatine obeyed. Grievous hurried to the bunker's communication console. The stud switch and control pad for the emergency beacon were precisely where Tyranus said they would be. After entering the code Tyranus had provided, Grievous pressed his alloy hand to the switch. Palpatine watched him from the doorway. "That will call many Jedi down on you, General - - some of whom you may regret having summoned." Grievous glared at him. "Only if they fail to challenge me."

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treason then

>one sithy boi