What the hell are these things?

What the hell are these things?
Who built them?
How do they breed?
What do they eat?
What were they evolved to do?
How are they born?
I could never enjoy this film because of the questions it demanded.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=2FxpNCvBV_s
youtube.com/watch?v=QxAo6KhBFFs
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

It's cars. Kids dig the cars.
youtube.com/watch?v=2FxpNCvBV_s

they probably evolved from bugs.

>How do they breed?
We already have the answer to that.
Don't ever ask what it is again or someone might post THAT image. You will regret asking.

someone will surely post it anyways so I think I should make him cringe first in order to soft the blow he is about to receive.

...

...

What pic?! Show me!

The fuck? Who would make this and why?

You mean this

These are pretty cute.

also question, does his ass-cheek work as a blinker?

This is cute
NOW ITS WEIRD

we can say he need for speed sometimes and only that car give him the gran turismo.

Has this infamous image been posted yet?

i like how the third movie is about pixar giving up and giving their mantle to wdas.

youtube.com/watch?v=QxAo6KhBFFs

Silly user Now someone post the male one

...

Where's the full pic user?!

Hey, you asked for it, not me.

>somebody drew this

The thing I really like about Planes is that we learn that WWII happened in the Cars universe. Which means there was a Cars Hitler, a Cars holocaust, a Cars Pacific War, a Cars D-Day, a Cars nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a Cars Rape of Nanking, a Cars Battle of Iwo Jima...
This leads to so many important questions, like: were the Cars Little Boy and Fat Man nukes sentient? Was it a suicide mission? Are ALL Cars nuclear weapons sentient? Did Tsar Bomba have a personality?
What kind of car was Car Hitler? A VW? A forklift?
Was there a Cars 9/11? Were the planes hijacked, or were the planes themselves radicalized?
I could go on

But hey, that's just a theory.

Now I want to see a Cars spinoff about Killdozer

Nevermind that, in Cars 2 there's a fucking Popemobile

Christianity exists in the fucking Cars universe. Pontiac Pilatus washed his fucking wheels.

>Captcha is cars

>or were the planes themselves radicalized?

The hell is this thread

a gay theory

the type of thread that used to casually happen on Sup Forums in its golden years.

>At Steve Purcell's spotlight panel at Comic-Con he showed this interesting drawing he had done while working on Cars:


>His theory was that there was this island with these cavemen on it, and basically a car would go there and pick one out. The caveman would plug their spines into the inside of the car and work as part of the brain (you can see the actual brain on top of the caveman's head). And that's how the car can move around, because a caveman is in there attached to the brain and manually turning the wheel.

stay woke

Now you are imagining the Saving Private Ryan scene of the D-Day, including the part where the guy is looking for his arm

oh please do go on~
>stay woke
we already are, please, continue

...

>vehicle courtship is relatively animalistic compared to their human creators.
>two vehicles may mate rather spontaneously, going on nothing but physical attraction.
>many males may even have multiple partners since such a thing is not instinctively taboo to their kind.

>there's a Cars God

what would he even look like?

Lord I hope so.

>We will never have a Cars thread where this doesnt get post.

...

If the bad guy in Cars 2 is anything to go by, Hitler was a VW.

like a human.

Kerchoo

I think greg loved his car WAY too much

That one car in Cars 2 with headlight eyes just adds to the confusion.

..

user you never heard the pixar theory?? theyre basically evolved toys from toy story remaking human society

If we're going to come up with a better explanation than Matpat's latest brain turd, the first thing we need to establish very fucking clearly is that the cars are indeed mechanical. They consume fuel, like, real fuel. Gasoline, diesel, etc. They replace parts of themselves. They are made of metal, hence the ability to rust. They are very clearly machines.

The obvious explanation of what the cars are is that they're us, or more accurately some combination of us and the evolution of our current dalliances with AI, self-driving cars in particular. As our machines become sentient, they integrate into our culture, forging identities of their own; a new kind of synthetic "human."
They don't make their mechanical bodies humanoid, because that's stupid. But we do want them to be expressive, so they incorporate advanced materials that provide strength and flexibility, so they mimic human faces.

Eventually, biological humans die out, or else our increased understanding of synthetic cognition lets us upload our minds into computers. Really it doesn't matter what happens to us. Whatever the exact path, our species—as defined not by our DNA, but by our ideas about ourselves—evolves into a fully synthetic form.

If we do directly survive into the modern era, we absolutely take on the forms that synthetic intelligence has been occupying for decades, because really, they're just better. But at this point everything is synthetic anyways, so there's no point in differentiating formerly-biological humans from the larger native synthetic population.

And then we start expanding this new, synthetic ecosystem, replacing our livestock with machines that can help meet our new needs, controlled by simple intelligence that make them seem almost animal-like. Hence the tractor-cows and car-bugs.

This easily explains why the cars have a history and a culture identical to ours—it IS ours. they're a continuation of humanity, either literally or spiritually.

Who built them?
Disney Marketing Department.

Basically what I'm saying is, it's the movie Robots, but instead of retarded humanoid robots, they did the sensible thing and made themselves cars.

1.They're humans but cars.
2. They evolved since they replaced humans.
3. Normal food. They drink oil but there is probably multiple kinds like water oil and soda oil, etc.
4. They evolved like us.
These are my theories. You got me on the birth and breed question.

>planes themselves radicalized