IT'S HAPPENING

IT'S HAPPENING
MOVIES ARE SAVED!
variety.com/2018/film/news/john-cena-duke-nukem-movie-1202673127/

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youtu.be/mPPqHukFTWY
youtu.be/viHtLR8G9Ug
youtube.com/watch?v=ooth8swwTdE
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Jaden Smith pegged to take title role

No one will see it.

But Cena looks and sounds nothing like Duke Nukem.

...

isn't john cena supposed to have a pg13 image?

kek

A step up from being the father in the Fred movies.

BLOW IT OUT YER ASS

>duke in a hollywood movie in 2018
blow it out your ass it won't be the real duke

Your face, your ass... what's the difference?

FUCK NO
NONONONO YOUR STUPID PG RATING SUCK ASS
NONONONONO

Will they release it before 2080?

It could be fucking hilarious. An extreme, self-aware, overly macho parody of 90’s action movies.

I think John Cena has potential as a comedic talent, he just keeps picking shit projects (Ferdinand, Cockblockers, Trainwreck).

Would be kino if Dolph Lundgren was Duke and this came out 20+ years ago.

>I'm here to eat ass.
- Dad Bombinem

Michael Bay is the perfect director for this, PG rating is garbage though. This needs to be a R movie with all sorts of lowbrow humor and violence.

youtube.com/watch?v=dZS6578SySs
Kino

>I'm here to drink soy milk and watch Steven Universe. And I'm all out of soy milk.
-Cuck Suckem

fukn kek

it would have to parody action movies but also be a great action movie itself like Last Action Hero
and for it to be a proper duke game it would have to have a good amount of sexist humor which hollywood won't have in a mainstream movie nowadays especially after the last few months

Can't be worse than Duke Nukem Forever.

Well, during the actual feminazism libtard hollywood moment, yes it can.

This. It could be great if it's going to be 15 or 18 rated. Unfortunately we all know Duke's mayhem and banter will be dialed back to make a nice family 12A film

Trailer:

youtube.com/watch?v=MzxWZupHWkc

So The Expendables

They should have some chick he banged from New Jersey and she sounds just like that Ventrilo lady screaming her head off and Duke should blow her head off and be like .

>cheesy over-the-top action movie based on cheesy over-the-top fps based on cheesy over-the-top action movies

You'd think there'd be no way they could fuck this up.

You'd think.

That instagram post he made was legit then wtf

youtu.be/mPPqHukFTWY

They'd literally have to make a Jack Slater movie with aliens.

>Duke Nukem
>2018
>movie will probably feature some minority squad that follows him around
>will feature some hardass lady general that will constantly degrade dukes chauvanism
Duke Nukem should stay in the 90's
that was the only time Arnold could still play him

>Blade Runner
>War section

what did they mean by this?

I'm finding Lord of the Rings right now... and I want a new fucking box.

>That instagram post he made was legit then wtf
oh shit wtf?

some retard on Sup Forums said "but he don't have the same hair this can't work!!"

fart it from your butt, dude

I'm sure this movie will be one of the "character deconstructions", they don't want a proper adaptation

Cena better start practicing his Clint Eastwood voice.

This is good, humorous OC.

He said funny/hillarious

Will it have all the scenes from the game?

get off vent or i’ll Have you bent

John Cena fucked Amy Schumer on camera after rehearsing the scene with a man

>duke nukem in this day and age
lmao this is going to be a disaster
how the fuck are they going to get away with any of the sexist jokes?

duke nukem? more like soy nukem

They already make a Duke Nukem TV show. It's called Ash Vs. Evil Dead

You've all practiced doing the Duke Nukem voice, right?

>pg-13 duke Nukem in 2018

BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

mfw noclip mode and jerking off to pixel strippers

no because I'm not a child who plays with video toys

Cohonas of reinforced iron

Imagine a politically correct duke nukem?

Consume feces and pass away

It's time to lick ass and blow bubbles

Blow it out your ass

This could be a good idea, but we all know that it's going to be too self conscious and the movie it's going to be: "Hey look! It's John Cena playing Duke Nukem, aren't we crazy?"

NO! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Ill part your head from your body and stool down your neck

he will have a female counterpart who is stronger and better than him, and that chides his outdated and toxically masculine traits and attitudes

This one?

First Duke Nukem Forever and now this. Is there some kind of secret cabal out there that searches for things that white males loved when they were children and endeavors to piss all over them so that they can marginalize the demographic?

KINO IS BACK ON THE MENU

Yep

john cena will be the new the rock in 5 years

I am so happy i could cry right now.

Why is he blond? That's cultural appropriation.

This will save kino, look upon my numbers brothers!

Still gets me to this day, that and "leather belt".

the rock has some actual talent as a performer, don't think cena does

Hey, Commando worked both as a critique/parody of macho action movies and an actual macho action movie. It can be done.

>Dwayne was in a terrible cinematic adaption of a revered 90s shooter?
>get me Micheal Bay...

Think its a coincidence that this gets announced after Jumanji's success?

just give him a black gf, or a brown wife's son.

ITS THE FRANCHISE BOY IM SHINING NOW

Leaked trailer!!

youtu.be/viHtLR8G9Ug

>I've never played the game tho lol

Have you seen his Instagram? He posts a lot of Contra and shit.

SHE'S A HEALTHY WOMAN OF BREEDING AGE

But what if he has?

I will if it's rated R.

do you think every Marvel actor read the stupid comic books before accepting the role? stupid child

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

The only way to make Duke work in the current day is mockery

He was 12 year old cringe even in his time, and he's aged tremendously badly

Duke would totally fuck a nigress if she was hot.

Fuck.

OH shit he's in the same clothes. i didn't know about that

balls

quads confirm

soyfed

>listening to dark country/rock mix on jewtube while reading this
>suddenly Duke Nukem Forever's theme comes on

This is destiny, lads.

...

Quality post, simply astounding

inb4 he'll learn that masculinity isnt everything and he has to work together with females and poc to achieve what he really wants

eat shit and die
duke talk is one of the best things about the game
youtube.com/watch?v=ooth8swwTdE

Not pictured: the hundreds of kilograms of weapons and ammo that Duke somehow carries around.

haha NICE now the numales can pretend they even knew what the fuck duke nukem was!!!
AWESOME!!! #GOSOY!!

>that post
you funny guy I'll kill you last

Best caption I saw for this guy's cosplay was "Close, but no cigar."

Arnold wouldn't have been right for the role. His voice is all wrong.

They should've hired a nobody. All he needs is a deep voice and muscles, the acting doesn't even need to be good. Hollywood just won't go through with any new movie that doesn't star some well known name. Movie's gonna chew ass

Can't wait to see John Cena shove a bomb up a big titted aliens vagina on the big screen.

It's amazing how lame and poorly delivered that is listening to it as an adult