There's a potion in this universe such that if you drink it "all your endeavors will succeed."

>There's a potion in this universe such that if you drink it "all your endeavors will succeed."
Why fuck didn't Voldemort and his army mass produce this shit and take over the world in like a day?

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dullest

Because a story can only be as smart as the author.

Stephen king

Expensive and difficult as fuck to make, strictly controlled substance that is highly regulated and is lethal in large doses and highly addictive. So fuck off nigger

Why didn't he just travel back in time with the time travel thing, huh? Really makes you think.

Voldemort is too proud to do that. He'd want to succeed purely on his own skill to prove that he is truly number one.

And aside from him and Snape, I dunno how many of the death eaters would actually be capable of brewing it, its supposed to be one of the hardest potions to brew

If only someone were to offer me a particularly potent "potion" that would free me, permanently, from one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Is soy the potion that attracts adult children to this terrible estroseries?
or is it the lack of father figure?

Ah yes, "too proud to do that" hmm yes quite indeed

Came here for this, doing the lords work

>strictly controlled substance
He had an army that didn't give a shit about anything, why not just have them steal it? And if it's lethal give it to expendable members for suicide missions

I mean pride is like his number one flaw.

based

This.

"No!"

...

Wtf these dubs

Luck can only get you so far

>one-hit kill spells that anyone can use
>time travel device that fit on your palm
>lucky potions

Rowling is a fucking hack

>his potions expert was literally a spy for Dumbledore

um but you have to like really really hate your target though :)

I mean theres good reasons why Voldemort didn't use them, but I don't think thats one.

Voldemort is presumably versed in potions as much as Snape.

For the same reason Ministry officials didn't carry Time Turners with them to the scene of a murder. Because shut up, that's why!

stellar opening

The thread-specific segue into the pasta is always what really gets me. A sign of true artisanship.

The Harry potter universe makes zero sense. The Eagles in LOTR and light speed ramming in star wars are bad, but Harry Potter has so flaws that break the whole series.

seriously, one of the best I've seen

>highly regulated
So despite running the ministry of magic he couldn't get his hands on a potion given out as a reward to highschoolers

>one-hit kill spells that anyone can use

wasn't there something about that spell being like real hard to use? Didn't Mad Eye say something about everyone in the class could use it on him and he wouldn't even get a nose bleed

>There's a potion in this universe such that if you drink it "all your posts will have dubs"

Impressive

...

Daaaamn

Is it possible to learn this power?

I drank the last of it, and lost the recipe.

...

>Felix Felicis

i like greggs

What sorcery is this?

he didn't actually run the ministry outright until the beginning of book 7, assuming the difficulty in brewing the potion also involved a long brew time it would make sense that he couldn't have had a working version of the potion available to him during the books timeline.

we have no idea how the potion actually works, I've always thought it probably causes the the drinker to only pursue courses of action that they will succeed in, not that every course of action they would like to succeed in would be successful. The book described Harry as being in a pretty altered mental state while on the potion so it's plausible... It was just convenient for the story's plot that he chose a realistic goal (getting secrets from a drunk slughorn)
Presumably had he used the dose of potion with the intention of apparating to Voldmorts house and OTKOing him he would have been less successful.

wizards literally shat where they stood and magic'd it away, it's expected they're a little retarded when it comes to things like this

you have to actually intend to kill the thing you're shooting at.

The books are literally meant for 7 - 12 year olds.

more like 8-15

thats weird cause i love King but can't stand the hp books

Dude turn your brain off lmao

I like that a lot as a quote and as a criticism.

Based pasta poster.

If the bathrooms in Hogwarts were installed in relatively modern times, since wizards would just use spells to vanish their poop in the old times, then why did the second book/movie feature a pipe system connected to bathrooms that supposedly existed since the very early days of the school?

well thank god witchcraft and wizardry isn't a thing in America

I drank some felix earlier, feeling frisky

......you literally think logic applies to harry potter world

at
all?

presumably if guns worked the way killing curses did there would be fewer gun deaths since a kid pointing a gun at his friend saying "bang bang" doesn't necessarily poses a killing intent.

Its fantasy you idiots who even gives a shit. This stuff was literally made for little twelvies

Not from a Baneposter

>purely on his own skill

wasnt he trying to find the mega-death-fucker wand? that kind of goes against the "own skill" thing.

NO. IT WAS NOT MADE FOR KIDS

IT WAS MADE FOR STUPID KIDS WITH ABSENTEE PARENTS SO THE KIDS ENDED UP HAVING ADHD AND ARE STUPID WHICH COMPOUNDED THE ISSUE AND THAT'S WHY TRUMP WAS ELECTED BY A BUNCH OF FAGGOTS WHO GREW UP IN FANTASY LAND THEN HAD TO GO TO WORK AND WERE SHIT ON.

Didn't Harry then give the potion to his friends during the Battle of Hogwarts and the book outright states that all their hexes hit and all hexes thrown at them missed.

>ABSENTEE PARENTS

ok you got me there fella gg

Holy shit how was JKR allowed to write? awful, awful writing.

YES PARENTS WHO WEREN'T IN THE KIDS LIVES ENOUGH.

"HERE YOU GO JOHNNY WATCH THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES WHILE I GO CLUBBING, YOUR JACKASS DAD WILL BE OVER TO COME GET YOU AFTER HE'S DONE FUCKING HIS JAILBATE"

Yeah that's why it's weird in the films he doesn't do it. I can't even remember when this shit was written in the book if at all. I seem to remember Harry running down the stairs or up stairs to get something and some of his friends are duelling Death Eaters and all the surroundings are being destroyed but they don't get hit but the death eaters do.

If it's in the book it just outright makes 'luck' and anyway this whole 'luck potion' is essentially stolen from Red Dwarf where they find the 'luck gene' and inject it. Except Red Dwarf makes it funny.

why they just dont shot voldemort while he is on human world?

>ABSENTEE

>all their hexes hit and all hexes thrown at them missed

by my theory that's fine. The potion guided them to only cast at 100% guaranteed hit targets, the potion guided them to move in such a way that they were extremely difficult to hit...

Had any of them even considered waltzing out onto the grounds and 1on1ing Voldmort the potion would have made them feel drunk and convince them to walk down to the kitchens and enjoy a butter beer with the house elves instead.

Impressive dubs, too bad they're no match for this trips

That's because there is not actually a Harry Potter universe with a coherent logic and backstory, there are just "scenes". Every single thing was just invented on the spot and thrown in when Rowling felt she needed it for a very specific plot point. Internal logic be damned. This is also the reason magic stories can only work if you 1. make it a very obvious children's fairy tale without even pretending that there's anything serious about it or 2. get super autistic when designing a magic system with rules and limits. Rowling just went "umm, sweetie there's a spell for that :)" and called it a day.

No such thing as a 100% guaranteed hit target mate unless you're just executing injured people or somesuch

>I love eating dog shit but can't stand eating cat shit
But you still like eating shit.

>ABSENTEE

Have you never heard of "absentee parents"?

based dubster saving the garbage soy thread

I view it as basically a liquid version of spidey sense that only detects successful courses of action. It doesn't let you work outside the boundaries of what would be realistically accomplished without the potion.

Well obviously not, it was written by a woman.

>he couldn't get his hands on a potion given out as a reward to highschoolers
lol rowlings is a hack

because rowlings is the queen of plot holes and the duchess of bad writing

>too proud

It's like that SW prequels assassin with poisoned bugs meme

It's absent. I'm not even an anglo-speaker and even I know this.

GOOD GOD HE ACTUALLY HAS THE POTION

IF DUBS CATS RULE THE UNIVERSE

...

Holy shit. Google Absentee parent dude. It's an actual phrase and a legal one.

fuck

wow is this 2008

Not that user, but absentee is a word. Google it you fucking retard.

domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/are-absentee-parents-abusive
newtimes.co.rw/section/read/208666/
tentotwenty.com/dangers-absentee-parent/

etc etc etc.

Just shut up dude. He's using it right

Oh good now I'm sad again.

...

You are so stupid.

Almost makes me wish for a nuclear winter.

Shut the hell up you moron.

...

Not from a muggle

Absentee can be a noun or an adjective. He's using it correctly you squid

Well, I learned something today.

I feel like you had absentee parents.

it's true though. cats are our lords and masters.

This is basically what it does.

It makes you lucky, and gives you an almost infallible gut instinct that you can follow, and as luck would have it, your gut instinct will basically always be correct. But it won't let you do what cannot be done, just what you could do if you were lucky enough. It also does them in a roundabout way: Harry drinks it to get information from Slughorn, but it doesn't give him the answers, it just gives him the idea that he should probably go talk to Hagrid, which spins out into him eventually getting what he needs because he was lucky. It didn't mean he could just walk over to him, ask, and get what he wanted. The potion wouldn't have let him do that, because that was not a realistically achievable goal given Slughorn's character.

Shit's also ridiculously hard to make too, you have to be a supreme master of Potions and spend 6-8 months making it and doing all sorts of things every day according to specific schedules and methods, where the slightest of fuckups means instead of being absolutely lucky you are actually the complete opposite. It's a big risk to take.

pathetic

Weak.

miawok miaweak?

Great intro


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