It’s a nimbus 2000! The fastes broom in the world

It’s a nimbus 2000! The fastes broom in the world.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=qi7Dga-vRKM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

>Blocks your path

Is it fast enough to escape from one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>Fastest broom in the world.
>Gets wrecked by the 3rd movie.

>Yes, yes, well done, Malfoy... HOWEVER

KINTO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

based

You wouldn't put your 11-year-old son on a crotch-rocket. Why would you put an 11-year-old on the fastest FLYING crotch-rocket in the world?

Shut the fuck up mom

You put him on a Cleansweep 11, obviously.

Is the ring some form of rocket booster?

Why are all your threads always so garbage mobile scum?

It's a metaphor

It got murdered by a tree, it didn't blow a gasket or something

Why didn't McGonagall buy good brooms for the poorfags in her team instead of doing it for who is probably one of the richest kids in school?

What the fuck is the point of transport being a broom? There's nothing inherently magical about a broom, it's just a piece of wood. So you could just take any object, and ride it the same way couldn't you. Why didn't they just play quidditch and move around in comfy armchairs?? Or better yet, take a really small object like a piece of sand, make it fly like a broom, so it basically grants unaided flight because of how small it is.

Kino.

>millenialshit

Grow the fuck up kids

>trying to balance on a piece of sand.

>Every book has a faster broom.
Progress

One of the first things I asked when I read the first book was "Why don't they just make flying shoes?"

Probably something about everyone having a broom and it just being a cheap transport enchantment. Chairs are a lot more expensive than brooms.

And foreigners use flying carpets in Harry Potter, for some reason they're banned in Britain.

Can anyone tell me why there's a ministry of magic? Why does magic need to exist at all? If it has to exist, isn't having a whole ministry devoted to it a bit excessive? If you need that type of organization to regulate magic and keep it away from normies, it begs the question why the magical hat that puts people in the bad guy house isn't just used to restrict who is taught magic in the first place. And they don't do a very good job, magic is constantly used in the real world, but there's some sort of visual restriction for normies anyway, so it's invisible.

>anybody?just ridiculously
If you're not going to do it correctly then just kill yourself.

wat

Probably harder to control

Tbh, Harry could have learned a lot from hanging out with Viktor "Chad" Krum

No, they stop making fast brooms after the Fire Bolt and Malfoy never bothers getting one despite being filthy rich.

>fastest broom in the world
>gets massively outclassed by the firebolt right away
Have they only had brooms a couple years? Tech is advancing way too fast

I don't see the logic in that statement - flying brooms can fly up, down, sideways, backwards, etc, as well as having some form of speed control. And they're fucking BROOMS. Why could a pair of flying shoes not allow you to fly like Superman?

Was Harry an elite seeker or just a broom babby?

Try flying like Superman where all of what is moving you through the air is in your feet.

You'd need flying gloves too to keep balance.

The Firebolt was invented nearly 2 years after this scene

what hp movie should i watch? i've seen the one about azkeban

why isn't there flying gloves then?

They probably regulate ridable flying objects like that. Brooms are just the standard and nobody wants to change that, and enchanting other things to ride on is probably illegal or something.

The flying car and motorcycle are actually illegal.

muggle technology

It's fucking magic, my man. You're trying to apply actual physical principles to it, when we're talking about the only other form of flying device is something used for sweeping floors.

Do you honestly think that brooms are naturally the perfect aerodynamic device for sitting on and riding around?

>Why didn't they just play quidditch and move around in comfy armchairs?

I assume that's the American version of Quidditch that never quite took off in Europe.

Broom with a bicycle seat would be.
Maybe some handlebars too

No, but they are more convenient for a single person to fly on than shoes or a chair.

Then why even make it a broom at that point? Just use a bike frame.

>Broom with a bicycle seat would be.
According to that Quidditch extra book, flying brooms have an invisible cushion seat on them.

>missed fire bolt 2000
Noob

1) Make a steel flying broom
2) Replace your tibia with it

I honestly don't see that. You can't be knocked out of your shoes and you're not sitting on a narrow piece of wood.

youtube.com/watch?v=qi7Dga-vRKM
The nature of Monkey was...IRREPRESSIBLE!

It would be heavier and bigger than a broom?

>It would be heavier
A hollow aluminum frame is incredibly light. It would be heavier than a broom, but does the lightness of the material actually affect broom speed? Are the fastest brooms made out of balsa wood?

>In Memoriam

You don't need the bottom part of a bike frame, just top tube to connect handlebars with seat. I assume the whiskers part of broom is needed for propulsion so keep that too.

Mad Eye Moody had a dope-ass broom

Would you believe me if I said that Rowling didn't think she was writing a fantasy book when she made Harry Potter?

do wizard villages have roaming gangs of pakis too?

Harry Potter never achieved anything. Everything was handed to him. No wonder Malfoy and Snape hated him.

this. IIRC all of the players in the Quidditch World Cup were on Firebolt brooms. imagine how crazy that shit would get, and remember that Krum is literally the best fucking seeker in the league.

>I assume the whiskers part of broom is needed for propulsion

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this is not a safe assumption.

>I-it's not like I want to hang out with you or anything, Potter. I just like fast brooms. S-stupid.

Great post estronaut
What did all the other tumblrinas think when you told them?

But Malfoy also had everything handed to him?

And Snape was one of the ones handing it to him.

>Why didn't they just play quidditch and move around in comfy armchairs?

If it wasn't it wouldn't matter which way people would hold their brooms. But in movies everybody has whiskers in the beck

>grown men watch this
state

He slayed a huge ass snake with a sword when he was 12.

What did Snape achieve? Get cucked and send wizard Hitler to kill a baby?

To compensate for Potter.

>Harry became the youngest gryffindor seeker on pure talent
>Malfoy only joined the Slytherin team because his dad bribed them with Nimbus 2001s
>Draco had Dumbledore handed to him on a silver platter and chickened out at the last second
>Harry literally stepped up to Voldemort and let him kill him because he knew how much it would hurt Voldemort.
cmon buddy

The snake clearly drives its head right on top of the sword. It wanted to die after being stuck in the sewers beneath a ladies' bathroom for centuries. Suicide doesn't count.

>in movies everybody has whiskers in the beck
Because that's where the magic makes the propulsion come from. But I'm saying that it has nothing to do with the whiskers themselves. Maybe the whiskers are enchanted, but they're probably not inherently magical or something.

I'm saying that the flying broom company could probably make the top of the handle the "back" of the broom in terms of propulsion, and nothing would change.

>Potter negotiates with terrorists and gives in to their demands

it was literally the only thing he himself was good at, everything else he was successful in was loldemort

Fucking Mary sue. Fuck potter. Women can't write. Even men write better female characters. Write male character then take away reason logic and it's done.

Got to bed, Jack.

Harry's "suicide by snakeman" was basically the equivalent of waving his nutsack at Voldemort.

Rons face when he realizes Chad Krum popped Hermione's cherry.

What the fuck did Potter have that Malfoy didn't other than being physical evidence that Snape's waifu got impregnated by Chad dick.

no way, Krum was too busy working out all the fucking time. I think he only asked out Hermoine to fuck with Ron.

6 MILLION POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR

Nah, Cedric was the Chad. Krum was just a famous autist that wanted some underage bong pussy.

The favor of an unjust God IE the author

to be fair it was Emma watson

That was to compensate for Snape

>when the wizards make a huge deal about the killing curse but every muggle in America has a gun

a shitload of money that technically wasn't his fathers. he inherited that shit. also uncanny broom riding skills. Malfoy sucked at Quidditch and never did it again after one game.

Cedric was a fucking dweeb though.

One wizard could take out every American on their own.

nah

exactly. a wizard could just be like Accio Gun and pull the gun towards them, or Arresto Momentum on a bullet being fired towards them.

>a shitload of money that technically wasn't his fathers. he inherited that shit.
And you think that Lucius got his money by working hard?

>exactly. a wizard could just be like Accio Gun and pull the gun towards them,

>"Accio every gun in America!"
>crushed under thousands of metric tons of guns

Even schmoozing and threatening people is more work than Potter put in

>more work than Potter put in
He died 4 years after graduating and didn't have time to get a job since he was busy fighting wizard Hitler.

It's a nimbus 2001, the fastester broom in the world.

Accio only works on one object at a time, my guy. it's much more useful in one-on-one confrontations.

I dont think the books even covered how the Malfoys got so rich.

I was talking about Harry

Because Harry was the seeker, the only important position in the game.

Considering how the Malfor are the evil white men of the setting it's probably by killing jews and stealing their gold teeth

>James Potter was the original "I don't have time to put in job applications mom, I'm fighting nazis" twitter shitposter

>Female Malfoy
Now this is something I can get behind

>arresto momentum
would require them to react in time and cast the spell on the moving bullet. That's basically impossible and if you could do it you could just dodge the bullet instead.

If you placed all your weight on a grain of sand it would pierce through you like a needle.

jew 2000

ever heard of cellphones?